Disclaimer: Don't own.
Author's note: Okay, I hope this chapter makes sense, and that Jackie and Hyde and their actions make sense. I hope so. Just a warning, I hate writing smut, so if it sucks, I'm sorry. I only did because it's necessary to the story. Plus, I think you guys deserve some heat between our favorite couple. Thanks SO much to those of you reading and reviewing! I am going to try to do better about updating. Hope you enjoy!
Warning: Language and sex, so the rating should be R plusish. :)
For Her Sake
Chapter 10 - Still Do
Before she could change her mind, Jackie pushed Steven's door open and walked in. "Steven, I need to ask you…some…thing…." Her words broke off, and she frowned. Steven was throwing stuff into a box on the floor, a box on which she saw her own handwriting. My Steven box. She watched as he tossed a candle, a purple candle that she knew was lavender scented, into the box, his face flushed.
"Get the hell out of here, Jackie," he hissed, turning back and going back to his dresser. He nearly took the drawer he opened out of his tracks, and dug around in it, ignoring the shirts that overflowed and fell to the floor. Stupid bitch. She trapped me, and I let her. Now she just wants to rub my face in how she's going back to Fez and how he'll worship her and how she'll…damn it, no!
Jackie shook her head, her entire body chilled with confusion. "Steven," she said softly, unable to yell even in response to his anger. "What are you doing?" She watched him toss pictures in the box, must have been pictures of them that he'd kept. He kept all this stuff? Next he added a scarf that she'd thought she'd lost. And then a pile of folded papers, notes, probably, from school.
He didn't look at her and continued his quest. He had to get rid of her. All of her. Every single thing in this room that reminded him of her, he had to destroy. Should have done it a long time ago. "I'm getting rid of you," he said coldly. "Getting rid of every fucking thing that reminds me of you, okay?" He stopped moving and glared at her, the fuzzy pink pillow he'd just dug out from under his bed slipping out of his fingers and to the floor. "You happy now? Happy now that you know I kept all this crap?"
Jackie shook her head. He was angry, and she wasn't sure why. It couldn't be just because she'd stopped their make out session. Couldn't be only that. "Why are you so upset?"
"Because you trapped me. And I let you."
She looked at him, wide-eyed, her mind turning circles in an effort to figure out what he was thinking. "Trapped you? How? Steven, I just wanted to…"
He stepped towards her, his chest rising and falling with heated breath he couldn't control. He gestured towards her with a finger, outlining her body. "You came over wearing that. You flirted with me…"
Jackie pointed at him, her own anger beginning to stir. "You flirted with me, too, Steven!" She inched forward towards him.
He ignored her, but took another step to her. "You kissed me…"
"You kissed me first, Steven!" Another few inches closer.
He took his glasses off and dropped them, and Jackie shivered. The heat in his eyes made the blue even deeper, even brighter, and his glare penetrated her to her bone marrow. "Steven…"
He stepped closer, now they were only separated by a few measly inches. His words were tense, spit from his mouth as rhythmically and uncontrolled as bullets fired by a five year old "I kissed you because I want you, Jackie." Her eyes widened, and he smirked sarcastically. "Yeah, that's right. You happy? Wasn't that what you were after? To see if you could still get me going? Well, you can, okay? You fucking can!"
They stood in silence, Jackie stunned, her lips parted, her eyes searching the very un-Zen like expression on Steven's face. Hot dampness gathered behind her eyes, and she slowly shook her head. Her mind was light, full of fog; this was all so unexpected and…unbelievable. "That's not…Steven, I just…I kissed you because…" She trailed off.
Because I love you, Steven. I kissed you because I still love you.
He snorted. "You kissed me," he said, his voice low and slightly more controlled, though the twitches in his jaw told her that his mood was anything but calmed. "Because you wanted to make me pay. Because you want to get back at me. Because you think I'm a heartless bastard who ran off to Vegas and married a stripper instead of you." He turned away from her and walked to the corner of the room. He dropped his forehead into his hand; why in the hell did his skin feel like it was burning off? Why were his temples pounding so hard he was starting to see bright spots behind his closed eyes?
Because I'm exhausted. Fucking exhausted. And completely losing it.
"But Steven…" A sob escaped, choking her words. "Steven, you did that. You DID that." She started to cry, her heart recalling the utter destruction she'd experienced when Sam had walked in the Forman's front door. "You did marry someone else. And you stayed with her." She winced, the tears rushing now, and she looked at he ground. "Instead of me."
Hyde turned around. "You never asked me why. You never once asked me why, Jackie! You just assumed that it was just because I'm an asshole and wanted to hurt you." His heart pounded furiously, odd, because the rest of his body felt dead. One push…his flesh would fall apart. One kiss, and he was imploding. And helpless to stop it.
Jackie looked up, and despite the thick layer of tears covering her eyes, she saw him. Saw something in his face, some heaviness, some desperateness, some pain, that made everything seem wrong. Made everything she'd believed about their break up, about him, about them, seem completely backwards and twisted and corrupted. Her heart skipped a beat. "Then tell me why, Steven," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Tell me why."
He closed his eyes and swallowed. He wanted to. Tell her everything. The nights of guilt, of missing her, of doing the noble thing had caught up to him. Being with her, spending time with her the last little while, being friends with her…and then kissing her, feeling her body close to his…he wanted to tell her. And the words were there, right on his tongue.
He shook his head. "I can't," he muttered.
He could see it; Jackie laying on the ground, her tiny body sprawled in death, and a bullet hole in the middle of her forehead. He saw it every single god damn night.
Jackie stared at his back. Led Zeppelin. His favorite band. His favorite tee shirt. The one he'd given her. Somewhere, underneath all the crap of the last year or so, that boy was still there. Her Steven, her Puddin' Pop was still there. And suffering. She'd never realized it, never thought about it, never considered it. But this, his show of emotion, so rare, told her that he was hurting for some reason.
And she felt it in her blood.
She knew she shouldn't. Knew she shouldn't allow this to happen, allow herself to want to comfort him, to touch him and make him feel better.
She couldn't stop herself. This was Steven. Her Steven. Always hers, no matter what slutty whores tried to claim him. She knew better. She knew Sam had never seen this side of him. She knew no one had ever seen this side of him, except her.
He's mine…always mine.
She went to him, and hesitantly placed her hands on his waist. His body jerked slightly, but he didn't pull away, and she rested her forehead on the back of his right shoulder. "You can talk to me, Steven. About anything." She slid her hands around him, to his stomach, and closed her eyes, moving herself closer to him, leaning into him. SO strong, and so warm, so him. Her fingers spread on his firm stomach, and she felt him tremble. His shirt…her shirt…felt so soft.
And she wanted it back. She wanted him back, if only for this night. If only for this one tiny moment. Maybe she could convince him…maybe they could fix this…together.
He exhaled, trying to calm himself, trying to find control. Damn Zen had abandoned him. Somehow, she'd finally completely destroyed it. He looked down at her hands on him. "Jackie, don't," he said quietly, weakly, with no energy, no demand like he'd normally so easily inflect his voice with. Probably because he didn't really want her to stop touching him. He winced. Her hands made tiny circles, and arousal burst forward in aching heat. "God, just…if you don't want to…just…" He groaned when her tiny hands moved up to his chest. Yeah, he wasn't gonna be able to stop this if she kept it up.
"You're wearing my shirt, Steven." She took her hands off of him, despite her desire to touch him until eternity ended, and with a flush in her entire body, she backed away. "I wanna wear it." Her heart raced, and her fingers shook, but she managed to grasp the hem of her shirt. "Please." The desire in her became desperation, and she bit her lip as she took her shirt off and tossed it away. She looked down and struggled with the zipper on her jeans, cussing under her breath when it stuck.
He turned, either to complain that she'd stopped touching him or to order her away, and instantly, his eyes locked on her naked skin. His ability to breathe or feel anything except the heat of his body disappeared, and he stood still while she pushed the jeans off her legs. Her breasts, her legs…all bare…and right there…feeding his hunger. "Jackie," he said, his voice low and nearly a growl. His eyes drank her, her round breasts she'd always feared were too small, but that he'd always found more arousing than any other rack in the world. Her legs, short yet long, and smooth, and soft…firm and strong.
Screw it. Screw it all. Who cares why she's doing this. I just…god damn it, I want her. So fricking bad!
"Please, Steven." She shivered, all of her body covered in the delight and near fear of his eyes on her. "I just…I want…the shirt."
She chewed on her lower lip and closed her eyes, and for some reason, that tiny hint of vulnerability brought some control back to him. He smirked, though the hardness below his belt was beginning to torture. "What if I don't want to give it to you?" he said, with a wicked smirk. "What are you gonna do then, huh?"
And to his pleasure, she reacted the way he knew she would, the way she always had to his sexually charged dares; with her own.
Jackie smiled as sexily as she could, and flipped her hair over her shoulder. She arched her back, and when Steven's eyes instantly dropped, she licked her lips. "In that case," she purred, walking slowly to him, swaying her hips and cursing herself for doing it, since it only made the dampness between her legs ache more. "I guess I'll have to take it off of you myself."
She reached him, and tugged upwards on the hem of the shirt.
Their eyes locked, and he let her take the shirt off, raising his arms to help her. She meant to back up, to put the shirt on, to tease him and seduce him. But his hands touched her bare waist, softly, and the look in his eyes stopped her.
He swallowed, his body burning, and yet, he wanted her to understand. Somehow. Without having to say a word. He wanted her to know that this wasn't just a chance to have sex with her. "Jackie," he said roughly, his voice cutting, as raw as the hole in his chest had been the past several months. Gently, he pulled her body to his.
Jackie's fingers opened and released the shirt, and tears filled her eyes. Her chest pressed against his, bare skin against bare skin, and the sensation was both sexually thrilling and emotionally walloping. She stared up at him, at the blue eyes that looked at her with the sweetness and love she still remembered at night. Seeing it again took all her sanity away, and she couldn't care less. She wanted him. So much. "Steven," she whispered back.
They kissed, softly, slowly. Her hands flattened on his stomach, moved just as languidly up his chest to his shoulders.
"I want you," he whispered, breaking the kiss, keeping his eyes closed, his brow furrowed, his lips only half an inch from hers. "Damn it, Jackie…I can't help it, I just…I want you."
Jackie smiled, her eyes also closed, her lips reaching for him. "I want you, Steven. I want you so much!"
And suddenly, the fire was back. They kissed until both were left breathless. She pulled away and reached down to fumble with the fly of his jeans. He pushed her panties down her body, and somehow, they managed to strip one another. Jackie turned to walk to the bed, but found herself pulled back into Steven's body. She groaned and threw her head back as his lips meandered her extended neck, and his hot erection thrust lightly into her rear end. His hands cupped her breasts, teasing the centers with plucking fingertips. "Oh god, Steven…" Reluctantly, she pulled away and turned, grabbing his hands and pulling him towards the cot.
The couple fell to it, kissing, touching, searching for pleasure, searching for comfort, searching for each other, searching for them. His hands touched her everywhere; her legs, her stomach, her breasts, shoulders, face, ass, everywhere. Hers moved the same way, seeking every inch of Steven Hyde.
"Jackie," he moaned as she sucked wildly on his neck. His hand moved to her thighs, sneaking in between them, and he teased her, making her lift her body and cry his name. "God, it's been so long." He took his hand away, and replaced it with his erection.
Jackie's eyes opened wide, her mouth fell open as he filled her, and she gasped. "Steven!"
Their eyes locked, as joined as the rest of their two bodies were.
He moved slowly, every inch of him touching each little pocket of wet desire inside of her. She nodded. "Yes, god, yes, Steven," she whispered, encouraging him.
His hand brushed her cheek. Her hands gripped his biceps. His lips pecked her nose, her chin, then landed on her lips.
The pleasure was building, their touches sped, breathing became an impossibility, until he withdrew from her, backing up to his knees and hovering over her.
Jackie winced. The throbbing inside her now felt empty and cold, and ached for his hardness and heat. She panted, tried to think coherently, tried to see him through her passion-fogged eyes. "Steven? What's…are you…"
He smiled. "Just looking at you," he said huskily. His eyes trailed over her body, spread open for him, her breasts heaving, her skin flushed, her hands roaming restlessly in what he could tell she thought was a poor replacement for his. All of it for him. "I just…I have to look at you for a minute."
Jackie smiled; his voice was so soft, so sincere. As if he was seeing more than just her naked underneath him. As if he was seeing her, the way he used to. "Steven…" But the pain between her legs screamed, and she moaned, kicking her heels against the bed. "Steven, please!" she begged. "It…god, it…" She lifted her hips, seeking some relief, even from just the air above her. She lifted them again, and again. "God, it hurts!"
God, Steven, being without you hurts so bad!
Her need fueled his, and he collapsed back down to her, immediately pressing into her again. His head burrowed in her neck; he whispered in her ear. "I know, god, Jackie, I know."
I know it hurts. It hurts every fucking day, Jackie.
Jackie pressed her hips up to his, taking him in as deeply as she could, feeling his manhood all the way to her heart. "Better, so much better," she panted, her hands gripping his backside and pushing him into her. Her eyes closed.
He nodded. He knew. He understood. "So much better," he responded, hardly able to breathe his words. "So much better, Jackie…Jackie…"
Jackie…god, this is so good…being with you…so much better than her. So much better than anyone.
Afterwards, Jackie looked up at him. He hovered, still inside her, his eyes darting between hers. She smiled, but her eyes were teary. Nothing had ever felt this way, and she wasn't sure what to say. This had been so much more than sex. So much more even than making love. "Steven," she whispered, her voice hoarse. His look was still soft, almost adoring, at her, and he kept pressing tiny kisses to her lips, and yet, she wasn't sure. "Should I…I mean, do you want me to…"
"Stay," he said, swallowing in an effort to comfort his slightly sore throat. He wasn't used to so much heavy breathing anymore. Or so much grunting of someone's name. "Just stay."
Later, Jackie sat on top of a sleeping Steven. She had the shirt on, and she just watched him. He hadn't moved but to shift when she'd settled on his lap, and that made her smile. He was still a deep sleeper. She liked that hadn't changed about him. She traced a heart through his chest hair and said a quick prayer that this night would never end. It had been so long since she'd felt this way, with him, and the fact that she'd so easily soaked it so completely in didn't surprise her.
Hyde's eyes flickered open, and he found to his pleasure, the weight of a tiny 95 pound brunette on his body. He smiled. "Hey." His eyes grazed over her. "You put the shirt on."
She nodded. "Yeah. You used to like me in it."
He nodded and reached up to finger the hem of it. "Still do."
They looked at one another, until Hyde couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled her down to him, and the feeling of her breasts beneath the shirt against him made him groan. "Yeah, Jackie, I still do," he whispered, just before kissing her. His hands moved to her backside, and he broke the kiss. He raised an eyebrow at her. "You put your panties back on."
Jackie giggled. She stroked his cheek and nibbled at his jawline. "Yeah, well, you used to like to take them off."
He grinned. "And you used to like it when I did this." He smacked her incredibly fine ass.
She giggled louder. "Still do, Puddin' Pop!"
He rolled her over, she squealed, and he shut her up in the way both of them used to and still did like the best.
