I'm not too sure how to write Anya so bare with me peeps...

Anya pov.

I wonder how we can bring in more money to the magic shop. These people are in here walking around but they aren't buying anything.

"If you touch it you buy it." I tell them. They give me this weird look that I don't understand.

"Anya, would you please not hassle the customers?" Giles asks.

"But they're standing around running their dirty little hands all over our sell able merchandise. We should charge." I tell him. It seems perfectly logical. He's about to say something but stops to scold Buffy.

"Buffy don't you dare wake her!" he says referring to Faith. Faith the mysterious slayer. The same Faith I slept with a while ago. Not to long though. But long enough. I swear those were the most intense orgasms of my life. The way she put her tongue inside me and swi-

"Hello you've reached the Magic shop. Come spend your money." I answer and Giles rolls his eyes. What's his problem?

'May I speak with Ms. Anya Jenkins?' the lady on the other end asks.

"Speaking." I reply.

'Well Ms. Jenkins, our records show that you recently came in for a physical exam.' Giles said I needed one. I knew I was perfectly healthy.

"Yes what about it?" but it was incredibly pricey.

'Well I wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy." she said. Oh that won-

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"You're pregnant Ms. Jenkins, about 7 weeks. So again congratulations to you and the father.' she says before hanging up. I may not be mortal but I'm sure that I can't be pregnant. Faith is the only person I've had sex with in the past eight months. No orgasms has made me bitchy I must admit though. I call back.

"Yes this is Anya Jenkins may I speak with doctor Williams please?" I ask. The nurse tells me to hold and puts me through.

'hello?' she answers.

"Doctor there was a mistake with the tests you performed." I tell her.

'Ms. Jenkins correct?' she asks

"Correct." I say.

'well ma'am seeing as how you told the nurse you hadn't had any sexual intercourse with a man within an eight month time frame, we triple checked but you are pregnant.' she says. 'maybe its your miracle baby.' she says.

"Thank you doctor. I must go share the good news with my friends." I say before hanging up. Good news my ass. This is going to cost me! I look at Faith. Its her fault. I calmly walk from behind the register and over to Faith. I stare at her sleeping form for a moment before grabbing a book and frowning her with it.

"I built a school down the street for titties!" she says standing up quickly. That drew the attention of everyone in the shop now she seems embarrassed. Things between us were already uncomfortable, now its worse.

"What the hell?! You slapped me you fucking she-demon!" she yells. I nod

"You're damn right. You got me pregnant and you're going to pay for it!" I say. Every body gasps.

"Faith, I heard you had mad skills but...damn." Xander says. Faith and I both glare at him.

"Look here he-man jr, I don't know what you're playin at but I couldn't'a got ya knocked up. I'm missin the valuable body part." she says.

"Well it has to be yours, you're the only one I've slept with recently." I say.

"You slept with Anya?" Buffy asks.

"Yes, yes she did. She gave me very intense orgasms too. Why?" I ask stepping closer. I don't know why I'm so defensive. Faith and I aren't together.

"Because, I mean, she couldn't be sad?! We only broke up three months ago!" she yells.

"Five." Faith says matter-of-factly.

"What?" Buffy asks.

"Five months ago. My birthday was when we broke up. Its may now." she says. Buffy thinks.

"Oh, right. Oh well." she says.

"You broke up with Faith on her birthday?" I ask. That seems so disrespectful.

"Yes." she answers like its no big deal.

"That's so very rude. Buffy I always new you were a bitch bu-" Faith cuts me off.

"Back to the issue at hand! I can't get you pregnant!" she yells.

"Actually Faith, its quite common, in the past is has been shown that slayers and demons can procreate no matter the gender." he says. I nod.

"Right. Now, give me money to pay for doctor visits." Faith just looks at me then to Giles and faints.

"I hope she wakes up soon. I'll need money to shop for clothes." I say.

Faith pov.

Its not my baby. Its not my baby. Its not my b-

"What the hell are you laughin at dog-boy?" I ask Oz. I love this dude like a brother and I'm the only one he shows expressions around, but he's gonna die.

"You're gonna have a Faith junior in a few months." he says before bursting out laughin. There's a knock on our door and he goes back to the blank oz we all know and love.

"Loo- Tara, whaddya doin here?" I ask as the blond smiles shyly at me.

"Anya and I are here t-to do a spell to prove y-your the father." she says blushing.

"Good! I wanna prove that I didn't do this!" I say pullin her in. "Wheres the evil animal?" I ask. Turning to face her. As soon as I turn back to the door there's a hand connecting with my cheek.

"Japan!" I yell out. Then I notice Anya slapped me. Again. "Look bionic demon i-" she cuts me off.

"Shut up. This is your fault. Had you kept your bodily fluids to yourself we wouldn't be standing here. And who is bionic demon? I've heard of bionic wo-" I stop her.

"Lets do the spell." I say.

Twenty minutes later I'm bangin my head into the wall.

"Congrats?" oz tries. I glare at him and bang my head harder.

"Faith would you stop it? You may damage the wall and have to pay for repairs and if you're paying for repairs you can't pay me for the baby you put here. Are you listening to me Faith, this is going to be expensive and you don't have a job an-" she just keeps going and going and I just keep thinkin, no more sex for me. No more sex for me. none!