EPI-THING Y.
Faith pov...10 and a half years later...
"LJ, get back here NOW!" Anya yells. I just roll my eyes. I really don't feel up to dealin with them today. I just got home from work, I'm tired, I've been dealin with people I don't like all day and I'm hungry.
"Renn did it!" he yells from down the hall. I stand still and slam the door and the entire house falls silent.
"LOGAN, ADRIENNE!" I bellow out. A few minutes later two curly heads come towards me eyes cast down.
"Yeah momma?" they ask at the same time. I kneel in front of them and ask in a softer voice...
"Did you leave the phones unplugged like I asked ya?" Lj just nods his little head happily.
"Sure did momma. But mom got mad so I had to blame Renn." he says. I nod and give him a high five.
"Good boy." I whisper with a smile. No matter how tired I am, I'm always happy to see them though.
"Hey! Don't encourage him momma! You know your child is an idiot." Adrienne huffs. I just smile.
"Hey, what'd I say about callin your brother names?" I ask. She rolls her eyes.
"To only do it when you and mom aren't around." she says in a bored student voice. I nod. "But I shouldn't have to hold back because he's dumber than aunt Buffy." she says. I hold back a chuckle.
"You're Aunt B aint dumb, she's gifted." I say.
"Don't encourage them!" I hear. I glance up and see Buffy standing there covered from head to toe in...
"Is that shit?" I ask. She makes a face.
"No, it's mud. Apparently you're little hell spawns thought it'd be fun to turn auntie Buffy in to a mud mermaid." she says glaring at the kids. I can't help but smile at them.
"That's wonderful. Alright, I'm payin ya two hundred bucks to keep them outta the house til tomorrow, get the hell out." I say openin the door. It's Anya's birthday and I got a big surprise for her. She and Renn scoff.
"You can't just kick us out, we live here." Renn says.
"And so do i!" B huffs. "Most of the time." she adds.
"That's nice, leave." I say. I look down at LJ and he's got his hand out. "What?" I ask.
"You haven't paid us for our services. I believe keeping silence and making sure no phone calls came in deserves payment. That'll be fifteen dollars an hour plus local and state taxes." he says.
"Oh, and surcharges and gas fees." Renn adds.
"You're total comes up to..." he thinks it over. "Three hundred five dollars and four cents." he says.
"Each." his little shit turd of a sister adds. I scoff.
"You two have apparently lost your little minds." I say sweetly. They just smile.
"MOMMY!!" they howl at the same time. My eyes widen and I pull out my credit card.
"Here, take it. Everywhere accepts American Express." I say. They smile triumphantly. "Don't over-spend." I warn. I hear them scoffing at Buffy when she says go easy.
"Please Aunt B, she's a lawyer. She can afford a couple thousand." one of em says. I can't believe it, bribed by my own kids!
"Where are you monsters? I mean children?" she asks lookin around. I just shake my head.
"Our children are with aunt Buffy." I say. She just nods like she's relieved. I hold back a quick yawn.
"Happy birthday babe." I say. She smiles brightly at me.
"Thank you. The twins said they would have my present until after you got home. Strangely, I told them they didn't have to get me one." she says with a frown. I just chuckle at her a little and lead her to a couch. Gah, I hate workin on a regular basis. "What'd you get me?"
"Uh, nothin." I say. She frowns.
"All that money you make working as the mayor's lawyer and you don't get your girlfriend a birthday gift?" she asks. "That's rather strange. Have you been spending your money on someone else? Do I need to turn them into a vampire and tie them to a tree as the sun rises?" she asks in all seriousness. I just blink.
"Big. Nothing big." I correct. She smiles and holds her hand out.
"Oh in that case let me see what it is. Is it money?" she asks. I shake my head and take a deep breath.
"Nah, not money. Just..." I swallow. "Well, all I gotcha was...was this piece of paper right here." I say handin her a piece of paper. She frowns and takes it suspiciously.
"Is this paper going to tell me I get all your money when you die?" she asks lookin it over. I don't say anything I just stare down at my hands. I've never been this nervous before. "You're pregnant." she says. I look up to gauge her reaction but she's got tears in her eyes.
"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't sure how you were gonna r-react so I just deci-" she cuts me off by kissin me.
"I'm happy Faith. I'm really happy." she says. I just smile lettin out a semi-relieved sigh.
"Good. Good." I say. She nods staring at the paper. "The doctor said it was too early for an ultra sound but I asked for one anyway." I say when she notices the final piece of paper. She smiles brightly at me.
"I'm not sure I could be happier." she whispers staring at it. I swallow hard again and face her.
"N-not even if I asked ya to be stuck with me for the rest of our lives?" I ask holdin up a box. She looks at me quickly before her eyes settle on the ring box. Her face changes to an ecstatic watery smile.
"Yes..." she says. "Yes..." she tries again. "YES!" she shrieks. I cringe and hold my ear but smile. She said yeah. She tackles me in a hug before pulling back and taking the ring. She slides it onto her finger and leans close to my stomach.
"You're going to be one happy baby." she says kissin my stomach.
"Won't be happy til momma gets some sleep. I'm sorry baby but I'm really tired." I say. She smiles in understandin.
"Go ahead. Just eat first." she says. I nod and walk outta the livin room. I stop on my way up the stairs when a thought hits me.
"WHY THE HELL ARE THEY CHARGING ME GAS CHARGES?!" I ask myself.
And there ya have it, sorta makes ya wanna go out and get drunk to end up like these two don't it? Thanks for readin folks!!
