Ziva David didn't worry easily, she too had faced trials in her life and had passed them with usually only a cut or a bruise, she didn't regret and she didn't cry.
But she did.
She was lying to herself and it did not take Ducky to see through that disguise.
She knew what Tony felt and had a passing of the same feeling, but what she saw in his eyes was hard and tormenting, more than she could bear to feel and more than he should have to.
…
"I loved her Dinozzo"
Loved
Loved
Loved
…
She had had it too – awoken in a daze, two or three in the morning; remembering…oh why did she have to remember, she drove but she didn't know where she was going, Tony didn't ether, he didn't have to tell her – she knew.
She had never voiced her assumptions about it but she knew Tony felt what she felt –
The diner
Walking in –
Blood
Pain, even Ziva had no guard facing the things she saw there.
Director Sheppard lying there so ….
Insulted to her memory.
Gibbs looks into Jenny's' eyes and she was not there, not completely - he could not tell her.
He should have told her.
He would have told her.
…
"Dinozzo," Ziva's voice rang from memory," We should call Gibbs.
"The directors probably fine, Ziva." he had said. If he had known everything then, pain could have eased and she felt it too – I wish I could have told him.
But she couldn't and though she was steering through the pain with only mild recollections it hurt that he hurt.
She had to talk to Dinozzo – she kept driving – this was the third time in a month she had taken to doing this – to ease her and every time she tempted herself to call Dinozzo, his pain she knew, never really stopped – nor had his drinking.
Her speed dial came down to D
And pressed call.
Across the way a man could see Gibbs, the bosses' face worn and now very discreet and hurt. Gibbs stood across Joshua Mecum, the squad room very dimly lit and the tone different.
Very different, colder, though this man didn't know it.
Gibbs was being handed a file from Mecum standing firmly across the floor. The long silence disturbing Mecum but keeping Gibbs at ease –
'Maybe its better I didn't know', thought Gibbs.
The file seemed sacred and Gibbs opened it with a hurt, denying ease.
'Yes Gibbs, the man from a distance seemed to say, watching Gibbs and Mecum with a gazing eye looking through the windows that glazed a yellow glow into the night.
'Your friend is dead – '
The man amused himself with the two men, watching, waiting.
The man seemed satisfied with the reaction he had gotten as if feeding off of it, loving it.
Tasting it,
He lined the crosshairs to Gibbs' chest… not even feeling any remorse in the least, he had not even taken a glance to Joshua Mecum, sure an FBI was a prize but this man had wanted new blood.
Too easy.
Tying up loose ends.
They thought Tobias was the bait,
He lined his shot – no remorse,
'No, tisk tisk, they should know better.
Loaded the barrel not even a care.
Gibbs was the bait.
Not even a blink.
