Trust No One

By Bella's Bff

Edward Cullen

15

5:33 PM

I sat around the corner, listening to her, "Mom, Edward... He's... He's cutting himself." She whispered, and I heard a gasp and the sound of glass being shattered. I peeked around the corner to find that a glass of water had slipped through her hand, but she was paying no mind to the broken glass all over the floor, her mind was somewhere else. When she finally got out of her trance, her head snapped in my direction. I jerked back into my hiding place, but it was too late, "Edward?" She sounded furious. I shivered, and jumped to my feet, and started to sprint up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. I only got into my room, locking it before I heard Carlisle's voice outside my door.

"Edward?" I didn't answer, I couldn't. That didn't help in the least, "Edward... Why...?" He asked, a certain pain in his voice that made my heart ache. I was causing them all pain. Little Alice, Loving Esme, Compassionate Carlisle; when they had adopted me into their family; had fed me, housed me, made life liveable for the last two years. They even paid for Ellie, so that, maybe, someday, she could come out of her coma. Carlisle, being a doctor, went in to check on her progress every eight hours. This life just didn't feel right without her, and he knew that.

"You know why." I managed to choke out, collapsing on the ground in sobs. I'm going to need Tanya tonight. The thought drifted through my head as I started to, exhaustion taking over, and I faintly remember the 'CRACK' as the door flew open against its will.

"Oh, Carlisle, what are we going to do...?" Esme asked with a sigh.

Another sigh, but this time from a man, I couldn't tell who because the exhaustion had weighed my eyelids down, "Well.. Search his room for any blades, knives..." That's when the exhaustion took me over completely and I fell into dreamland.

VVVV

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. Damn Alice for bringing up the fact that I didn't have a cell phone to Esme and Carlisle one night at dinner. I'd woke up to see one on my desk the next day. It was dark except for the eluminated beauty that sat at the edge of my bed, and, of course my cell phone. I took her in, her beautiful brown hair, chocolate brown eyes that shined in the moonlight... Her pale-white skin that looked so smooth I wanted to run my hands over it... Kiss it... I found the strength, and when my eyes opened once again, she was gone.

Sighing, knowing that I was just having another illusion, I called Tanya, warning her of my soon-to-be presence. Hanging up, I got dressed, opened the window, and slid out. There was only about ten feet below me, so I just jumped to the grass, flinching with a hiss at slight pain that I got from jumping from heights. From there, I sprinted to Tanya's house, which wasn't too far from where I lived, but it wasn't close. When I got there, I found her waiting on the porch, "Hey." She whispered.

"They took my knives."

"Ah." She pouted and I grinned, advancing towards her.

"But I would come here over cutting any time." She smiled back, and we stared at eachother for a few seconds before I broke the silence, "Are they still on vacation?" I was talking about her family. I was cold, and outside didn't sound very appealing right now. If her family was home, then it would happen outside, though. I needed this right now. I needed her.

"Yes." She said, smiling softly at me. And then we drifted upstairs where we took our frustrations out on eachother.

)()()(

"Edward?" Tanya whispered as we lay there holding eachother.

"Hm." I grunted. I knew that I should be getting home, but I didn't want to. In a weirdly ironic way, my knives were the things that kept me together, and so did Tanya. Having lost her mother, she knew, to an extent, how I was feeling now. She was my bandaid, and if I left without her there was a possibility that I might fall apart. And if she didn't have me right now, I knew that she would start using the knives. I didn't want her to do that to herself. I cared for her, deeply, as much as I could care for a person right then. She had a beautiful body, and I told her that it shouldn't be wasted because of what has happened in the past. She called me a hypocrite.

I told her that my case was different, that when I cut myself, that it didn't end in a trip to the hospital. Mine didn't cause excessive bleeding, but just enough to make me numb, then we started to make-out, so that ended that conversation.

Tanya looked up at me for a moment, her beautiful blue eyes shining in the light from the moon, and then closed her eyes again, a tear appearing in the corner of her eye, "I'm sorry, Edward..." She whispered, and my brow furrowed in confusion.

"What's wrong, Tanya? You know you can tell me anything." I whispered back. She meant the world to me, and if she was in pain I wanted to know what the cause was.

"I'm... Pregnant." I froze. I'm going to be a father. She opened her watery eyes and looked up at me, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." She repeated, burying her head in my chest. I recovered from my trance.

"Tanya, baby, you have nothing to worry about. It's all my fault. I'm sorry." I repeated the last two sentences to her, trying to reassure.

"No! It's not! I should have been the responsible one. I should have reminded you of the condom. You were in pain, you were barely functioning!" She protested. It was true. We were both driven by our pain, and so, there were no thought while it happened. But there were so many emotions.

"Tanya, so were you! Neither of us were paying attention!" I argued, and she calmed into my chest after a moment, listening to me. Were were silent, and then I asked, "What do you plan on doing with it...?" I asked.

"I don't know, Edward. An abortion would be painful, so would adoption. And having the baby..." She struggled for words for a second, "I- I don't think I can afford it." She trailed off, pained in her voice. I could tell that she wanted this. She really... really wanted this.

"I- I'll take care of it." I whispered, brushing the tears from her eyes, "I- I'll get us through this if I have to work myself to death." I whispered, leaning down to kiss her cheek, "I love you." I whispered, tears forming in my eyes.

"I love you, too, Edward."

(

And so I went home that night with Tanya, finding Carlisle and Esme in Carlisle's office. I apologized for cutting myself and putting them through all that grief, and then I told them. For some reason neither of them looked shocked. In fact, right when I walked in, they exchanged looks like they knew what was going on.

"How do you plan on supporting the... child." The way he said it made me suspicious, but I didn't say anything towards that subject, moving back to his question.

"I plan on getting two jobs... possibly three for after school." Tanya froze in my arms, obviously worried about my future.

Carlisle nodded, "That's what I thought. But, Edward, your schoolwork and sleep matter much more than money to me. We have plenty money, and I can doctor the child." He said, his voice obviously stating that he was allowing no protest from either of us at all.

I proposed to Tanya a few days later, telling her how much I loved her, and she'd said yes.

So the next eight months or so, we spent time at appointments, school, home, shopping with Alice, wedding planning... Everywhere we went we were together.

Edward Cullen

16

5:33

I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. Hearing her screams only made it worse. She was in pain, and I wasn't there to comfort her... Sighing in impatiance, I hunched over, dropping my head into my hands. I could only hope and pretend. Hope that she would be okay, and pretend that it wasn't her that was screaming bloody-murder.

--

After a while, her screams died down, and I sighed in relief. A nurse walked out of the room, looking guilty. Oh, no. Please, no! Something went wrong!

"Mr. Cullen," She sighed, unable to look into my eyes, "Your twins are fine." I sighed in relief, until I heard the, "But..."

"BUT WHAT?!" I shouted, and I'm sure my feelings were playing out on my face. She, I'm sure, could see the fear, the grief, the stress I'd been through in my life, and right now, and I didn't bother to hide it. I loved Tanya, and if anything happened to her, I'd-

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, but your Wife, she..." SHE WHAT?! "She lost a lot of blood, too much." My mind was blank, the thought not registering in my mind until the next few words, "She's not going to make it." Then I shattered, shattered into a billion little pieces. I fell to my knees, my face buring into my shaking hands, tears making their way out of my eyes. How come everyone I love end up dieing?! Esme, Carlisle, and Alice are great, but... They aren't them. And they would never be. I could get used to them all I wanted, but they could never replace Dad, Mom, and Ellie. There's still the possibility that Ellie will come out of the coma, but there's also the possibility that she won't. Life has already been terrible, why would something good actually happen in my life?

And now, now... Tanya. Another funeral to go to. Another love lost. Another piece of my heart being buried into the ground. Another one to mourn for. Another reason to kill myself.

"Would you like to meet your children and say goodbye to your fiance?" She asked, concern etched into her voice. I smiled the tiniest smile. My children. I still had them.

So I walked into the hospital, and my smile diappeared, taking in the sight of my exhausted, weak, Tanya. My beautiful... Dieing Tanya. Tears filled her eyes as she gazed into my eyes, as did they mine. Whimpering in pain, I ran quickly to her side. But instead of hugging her tightly, and never letting go, I knew that she was too weak and fragile right then, so I wrapped my arms around her in a gentle embrace, kissing her cheek, and then her lips, forehead, and nose; in a softness that was only reserved for her. She smiled weakly at me, then said in a hoarse whisper, "Edward, I love you." And then the crying started up, I couldn't help but sob into her hospital gown, the tears soaking her. She softly rubbed up and down the back of my head, hand caressing the soft messy broze curles back there, "Don't cry." She whimpered.

It was impossible, but I somehow tuned it down to soft whimpers and sobs, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. The last nine months of my life were the best of my life." She whispered, trying to reassure me.

"But, if I had worn protection, you would have never gotten pregnant, and this would have never happened!" I protested, looking into her eyes, trying to make her understand. Maybe be mad at me. I deserved it. Damnitt! She's only sixteen years old!! She hasn't even gone to fucking college yet!

"Edward, I love you. And I love our babies. They are so beautiful. And they have you. You will be an amazing father to them. I know you will. You were a perfect husband to me. You will love them, and I will love you."

"I love you, Tanya." I whispered, "More than you can ever imagine." She smiled sadly.

"I love you, too, Edward. More than you can ever begin to even understand." She stroked my hair, thinking for a second, "Edward, please don't cut yourself anymore. Don't do anything else to your beautiful body. It's too beautiful to let it waste away." She grinned, and I tried to grin back, and succeeded for a second, "That's all I ask Edward."

"I promise." And that's when the beeeep sounded through the room. She was gone. Forever.

I sat there for a second, not paying attention to the nurses and doctors that were surrounding me. When I finally snapped out of it, I turned to my beautiful babies. Picking one up in each arm, and smiled softly at them, "Hello, I'm your daddy." It was hard to keep that smile on my face when I thought about her. But when I thought about them. When I gazed apon their beautiful small faces and soft curly hair, I couldn't stop. I was a father. Maybe an alone sixteen-year-old father, but a father none-the-less.

Ones's opened, and I smiled proudly. Maybe there is hope.