AN: Okay, I'm warning all of y'all, this chapter has no sexual content in it or anything, but it has some major darkness in it. Don't read it if you don't like that kinda stuff.
Chapter 9
The hours crept by. Tony saw Nicole only once more by the time midnight rolled around. She had come down around 10:30 and told him that he was welcome to do as he liked in her house and that Sophie had changed the sheets in one of the guestrooms if he wanted to sleep. When she'd come down the stairs, she was wearing a bathrobe, her newly dyed hair pulled back as if it had been annoying her. Her voice hadn't lost its hollowness. When she spoke, it actually appeared that every single word was hurting her.
In Nicole's reality, every word really was hurting her. She sat in her darkened room, a glass of vodka in her hands. Tears were trailing down her face and she wasn't even bothering to try and stop them. She was repulsed by herself.
'I don't deserve to be breathing right now,' Nicole said to herself.
She slid off her bed and slinked into the bathroom. As she looked at herself in the mirror, her mind flashed back to where her father had been holding her. Nicole's own screams echoed in her ears. The glass of vodka slipped out of her fingers and shattered at her feet, but Nicole barely heard it over the noise in her head.
'You're worthless….'
Her father's harsh words tore at her.
"I can't do this," Nicole said finally. "I can't…."
Her eyes found a shard of the broken vodka glass. She picked it up in one of her shaking hands and slashed the skin of her wrist with it. She did it once, twice, three times, and blood began to pour out of the cut. It stung for a second as Nicole's tears fell directly on it, but then, it was almost like she hadn't even done it. She didn't feel it, what she felt was a small release.
"Fuck it," Nicole snarled. She left the bathroom and went out onto the balcony, grabbing the pack of cigarettes as she went. She didn't give a second thought to her wrist as she sat out on the dark balcony. She felt it bleeding, but that was all she felt about it. Who gives a damn? Maybe we'll all be lucky and I won't wake up in the morning….
Her mind wandered to Tony for a split second. He was still somewhere in her house. She knew she couldn't tell him what she'd done. That was going to have to remain her little secret. But it wouldn't be much of a secret if she actually did wind up dying….
Tony yawned and stretched as he got out of bed. The clock by the bed in the guest room read 9:37 AM. For a few moments he had to remember exactly what had actually woken him up, but then he remembered the sound of glass breaking and hearing Nicole cursing.
'That girl curses like a sailor when she gets mad,' Tony thought as he yawned again.
"Shut up, Tony!"
"Damn it," Tony grumbled as he heard Nicole walking nearby. Two seconds later, the door to the guest bedroom opened and Tony instinctively pulled the covers closer to him. His eyebrows knit slightly when he saw Nicole. She looked deathly pale. The purple circles under her eyes seemed to be the only color in her face and she coughed before talking.
"You should really learn to control those thoughts of yours."
"Are you feeling okay?" Tony asked, ignoring Nicole's comment slightly.
"Do I ever feel okay nowadays?" Nicole responded as she began to put her hair up again. "I didn't sleep well and I have a headache, but other than that—"
"What happened?"
Tony's eyes had found Nicole's wrist. It had been covered by her sleeve until she'd started to do her hair, but when she'd raised her hand up her sleeve had fallen back to reveal a bloody bandage.
"Whatever," Nicole shrugged. "It's not important."
Nicole turned and walked out of the bedroom, but Tony bound after her, finally blocking her pathway to the stairs. He saw something change slightly in her eyes, something like fear.
"Move," Nicole's voice was a mixture of emotions.
Tony shook his head, "What did you do to yourself?"
"Use your imagination," Nicole suggested.
"Why?" Tony demanded. "Why did you do it?"
"I shouldn't be alive."
Tony let out a noise between a snarl and a groan, "Nicole! If you keep all this shit up, you are going to die!"
"Good," Nicole said. "Then I can burn in hell where I belong."
Tony put his hands on Nicole's shoulders and felt her flinch slightly. It was the first time he'd touched her since before the car accident. He half expected her to toss him away from her, but she didn't move, she looked directly into his eyes, her own full of tears.
"Please," Tony's voice was pleading. It was the first time she'd ever heard anything like it from Tony. It was then that she realized his eyes also had tears deep inside of them. "Nicole, please, stop all of this, before you do something that can't be undone."
Nicole looked away from Tony's eyes, "I can't. Tony, you don't understand…."
"What don't I understand?!" Tony's voice really freaked Nicole even more.
Finally Nicole pulled away from Tony's grip, "Tony, I think I may be pregnant."
TBC!
AN: Yeah, well….This chapter speaks for itself I think. As always, if there's any questions or issues, leave me a comment and I'll get back to you on it.
