My, My Sasuke
By: Apherion
Recap:
"Fine Sasuke, your secret or whatever this is…is safe with me."
Chapter 2
Secret—that was the correct, no, the definitive word for what happened, and I was still unsure of how Kakashi would react. I had the go ahead, but I really didn't want to say. Saying it would mean how explicitly true everything was, and how much I missed him would be unavoidable.
"Sasuke…what happened when you walked in on your brother; what was happening?" Kakashi's pressing questions helped spur me, but did little to raise my confidence. I sighed, knowing I had brought this upon myself. I rubbed at my face with my shirt, hoping that I had mopped up all of the tears.
"I came home, and I was in…such a hurry I didn't think about knocking on his door. I just flung it open…and I…I saw…" Shisui on top of my… "He was on top of him…" my voice died in my throat. Kakashi's audible intake of breath was not concealed, and he joined me on the ground, sitting in front of me.
"Who was on top of whom?" He asked gently, not touching me, giving me the space I needed to finish my story. I swallowed, my throat constricting painfully.
"Shi-Shisui," I choked. "Shisui was on…on…" I couldn't get it out, and I felt tears on my cheeks again.
"Your brother," Kakashi supplied solemnly. I could hardly nod, let alone verbally give assent. "How did you know it was Shisui?"
"Shisui was the only person he would…that could get that close to him besides…" I failed at my words again, still trying to control the sobs. It hurt, my heart hurt.
"Besides whom, Sasuke, who was allowed that close to your brother besides Shisui?" I shook my head at him, not wanting to let it out. I was ashamed. "Sasuke, I know it might be painful, but…you need to let whatever it is out before it consumes you." My throat tightened again, and I swallowed a few times so my speech couldn't be impaired.
"Sasuke…?" Kakashi's voice was kind, soft as he prompted me.
"Me," I whispered hoarsely.
"W-what?"
"He let only…Shisui…and…me…that close…" I clutched at myself harder, trying to suppress the loneliness, the heartache. I heard Kakashi fall back; he must've been on his heels. The gravity of my statement must've hit him hard, too.
"Sasuke…what does that mean, exactly?" Kakashi asked evenly. I could hear him mentally kicking himself for agreeing to my terms.
"Come closer to me, Sasuke—or are you afraid of what you've just seen?" Brother's voice was compelling, and I couldn't do anything but obey it.
My feet were like lead as I walked slowly towards my older brother. He motioned for me to sit with him on the bed. I crawled up, sitting next to my brother, too innocent to realize anything.
"Aren't you happy to see me?" I nodded vigorously, but I couldn't move my lips. Brother caught my chin in his right hand, stroking my cheek with his left. I shuddered from the touch, feeling heat in my cheeks. He smiled down at me and his left hand went to my neck. My stomach swooned as he pulled me a little closer.
"Nii-san…?" I asked nervously. He stopped and let me go, noticing how uncomfortable I was like that. He smiled ruefully at me.
"What did you see, little brother?" He asked me gently, taking one of my hands in one of his, caressing it like he would a lush pillow or a cat. Brother was fond of cats, or I believed he was in any case.
"Um…I saw Shisui and Nii-san on the bed…kissing…" I answered shyly, looking at his askew shirt. Brother laughed lightly and ruffled my hair with a free hand.
"Of course you did," he said lightly, not at all ashamed of what had happened. "Do you know why I stopped?" I shook my head, perplexed at whatever my brother was trying to imply. He leaned into me, his lips brushing against my ear before he spoke. I squirmed, the tickling feeling reaching my stomach, heat rising once again to my cheeks. He held me still.
"I wanted to be kissing you, little brother," he whispered. I was startled, the warmth in my face growing rapidly. I didn't even have time to recover from the statement before he pulled back just enough to chastely press his lips to mine. My head spun from the contact and did not reassemble itself after the kiss. I looked at my brother, whose hands had gotten lost in my hair, his forehead pressing against mine.
His eyes were open, looking intently at me, looking for something that I didn't know. He brought our lips together for a second time, and my stomach convulsed, swirling like my head. When we parted, my eyes managed to focus momentarily onto his, and Brother must have found what he was looking for in my eyes.
"Did that bother you?" His question was low and soft. I didn't know how to answer.
"M-my stomach feels funny and…I can't think…" He smiled gently, his eyes softer than I had ever seen them. I wanted to see them like that more often.
"So you don't mind it?" He asked me, running velvet hands through my hair.
"N-no…I…don't mind," I muttered, feeling my cheeks redden. I saw him lean into me, looking into my eyes just before closing his as our lips connected for a third time.
My eyes widened; the kiss was harder than the last two. He pulled me closer to him, one of his hands leaving my hair to wrap possessively around my waist, hauling me into his lap. I barely noticed that I was straddling his waist now, and I watched his eyes. They were shut tightly while at the same time they weren't. As I stared, I wondered what he was thinking, and I timidly put my hands on his chest. His eyes opened then from the slight pressure, and his hand released my hair.
"It's rude to stare, Sasuke," he whispered breaking the kiss, staring into my eyes. "Close them when I kiss you." I nodded, and his lips were against mine once more. I closed my eyes tight, following his instruction.
"Relax," he murmured against my lips, pressing his thumb in between my eyes to loosen the cease I was creating there. I followed his command, trying to loosen the muscles to my shut eyes.
His lips were insistent on mine, and I felt his hand run underneath my shirt. I gasped at the warmth touching my cold skin, and he took advantage of the moment. His tongue breached my mouth, and stroked smoothly against mine. I shook as his warm hands touched me in an indivertible way. I was leaning into him more than I should have, but it felt good to be held in his arms like this. I could feel his love for me embraced like this.
Brother then pulled back, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I greedily took in gulps of air.
During the story, I managed to stop telling it to my knees and look up, but I kept my gaze fixed on the blue of Kakashi's pants. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I felt my stomach churning uncomfortably as I sat there, anxious for Kakashi to pass judgment on me.
He sat deep in thought for what felt like hours, but my legs had gone numb during my retelling of past events. I could feel my heart beating faster, waiting for him to suddenly start calling me a sick child. He didn't, though. He took in a shaky breath and spoke the most relieving words I could ever hear at this point in time.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Sasuke." I felt like crying from all the strain I thought I had been under, but I vowed I wouldn't cry in front of Kakashi again unless I absolutely needed to. I could look at him now, feeling my shame fall off of my chest.
"There's nothing wrong with me?" I asked him, just to make sure I had heard him correctly.
"No, but that doesn't mean go blabbing this to everyone. I think…I think that you and I need to keep this little secret to ourselves. I don't think everyone will be as accepting of this…relationship, if you know what I mean." I nodded, understanding fully what he was getting at. "Now, I'm going to assume that he went further with you, perhaps…all the way? If so, then I should add 'rapist' to his charges of 'traitor' and 'murderer', but seeing as you and I now have the whole 'doctor-patient confidentiality' rule applying to us, I can't, and I won't. Granted that you're not my patient and that I'm not a doctor, but I feel the rule still applies as per your demands upon my gaining this knowledge."
"No—I mean, yes the rules still apply, but It—my brother…" I shook my head, trying to rid it of the name I almost spoke. "My brother went further with me, but we didn't go that far. I think…I think they went all the way though." My voice was low and I could feel the emotion begging to be released from me.
"Who's 'they', Sasuke?" Kakashi's inquisitive voice would have made for a great psychiatrist.
"Shisui…and…"
"Shisui and Itachi."
"Yes," I choked, tears being drawn out again. I couldn't stand the thought. My jealous heart couldn't stand the thought, and I was breaking my vow not to cry. "We would always get so close!" I cried. Kakashi was taken aback at my angry tone.
"You mean…you would have consented, knowing full well what would have happened?" I nodded, burying my face in my hands, feeling so much like a blubbering girl—like Sakura had been—it was unbearable. I could now comprehend her pain.
Today, Mama and Papa had left to go on a mission that would take a week at the earliest to complete. Brother had made it home as soon as they had left, off for the week, as was I; it was spring break.
He slid the door open, and I stayed in the hallway, waiting for him. I smiled at my idea, loving how it played out in my head.
"I'm home," he called to me once the door was shut, and I darted from my hiding spot, leaping into him.
"Welcome back," I cried cheerily to him. My arms tried to wrap around his middle, but I was much too small to encircle his waist completely. He laughed at my enthusiasm and lifted my chin up.
He covered my lips with his, running his tongue along the outline of my mouth. My gasp gave him what he wanted, and he kissed me until I could feel saliva on my chin and white lights were blinking in my eyes. When he pulled back, my heart was pounding and I was clinging to him as though he was my lifeline.
"I think that has to be the best 'welcome home' that I've received to date." I felt the blush creeping over my entire body at those words. We were quiet then, and Brother led me to his room, so far away from the entrance, all the way at the end of the east wing.
"Even better than when Shisui-san welcomes you home?" I asked the blush coloring my cheeks, sending heat through my body. He looked at me, shocked at what I was saying. His lips descended on mine for only a moment, as if he was promising that he would answer once our lips disconnected.
"You can't welcome me home like that, little brother." His lips caressed the outer shell of my ear, and as he spoke, heat lanced down my spine like a hot whip. How could I want to hit him for saying the words that meant he was waiting for me?
My smaller hands shoved against his chest, and he almost didn't catch on to my efforts. His hands had been around my waist, but they lifted to cup my face, to envelop it in warmth. Tears were spilling from my eyes, getting trapped between my cheeks and Brother's hands. His lips were so warm—consoling—as I cried; his tongue less foreign as he ran it along my bottom lip. He pulled back though, not completing the kiss, not enslaving me to his will I was so prepared to succumb to.
"Why," he whispered in a desperate tone, brushing my bangs as tears dripped from my nose. "Why do you tempt me to go that far?" I sniffed, my shaky hands wrapped around his neck; my fingers tangling his beautiful hair. I pulled myself closer, pressing into his body, my lips searching blindly along his neck. I did not open my eyes to reach what I was looking for; afraid he would say I was being rude again.
Warmth coated my mouth, his warmth, the warmth I had missed for those few days he had to leave. His tongue dipped into my mouth that I eagerly let open, bashfully stroking against his with mine. Enthusiastic at the touch, he gained dominance immediately. I gave in so readily because wanted to feel that tongue to touch me.
As he ravished me, I was taken into his arms and lain delicately down on the bed. He pulled back enough so I could breathe, my chest rising and falling rapidly. He was much better at this, taking breaths while we kissed so he wasn't as ragged once he finished.
His pale hand pushed the hem of my shirt up, exposing my soft flesh of my stomach to his rough warmth. He tugged it up further, and I raised my arms instinctively from being dressed and undressed. He smiled down at me, and I arched off the bed enough to let him slip the shirt from my body.
Wet lips splayed affection over my neck, making me gasp. My fingers had extricated themselves from his hair, but now hung at my sides, twitching as his tongue ran an unbearable line from the base of my throat to just behind my ear. He noticed this and laced our fingers together as his lips descended to my Adam's apple to glide across my chest.
He nursed on my shoulder, pulling some of my sensitive skin in between his teeth. I bit back my cry, not wanting him to stop for any reason on my account. I was jealous that Shisui could be the only with my brother like this. I wanted to be the only one with him like this!
One hand unlaced itself from mine, careful to tickle a burning path from my hand, down my chest, past my stomach, and to the front of my shorts. My hips arched involuntarily into the touch, and my brother's smile brought his teeth against my skin harder, biting the tender flesh. I couldn't stop myself from screaming at the sudden pain.
Brother immediately stopped what he was doing, kissing the bruise forming on my right shoulder, looking up at me with apologetic eyes.
"Sasuke," he murmured, his lips breathing against the aggravated tissue was comforting. "Do you want to stop?" I shook my head, begging silently with puppy-dog eyes. My shorts were off of me within seconds of the silent conversation and his lips were torturing my young body once more.
He pulled my boxers down slowly, exposing the rest of me to him. I closed my eyes when I felt him kissing down my navel, making me squirm under his ministrations as he dipped his tongue in twice. But then, something drew my attention away from the amazing feelings I was experiencing.
This feeling was new; Brother's breath felt cool as he blew a bit of air onto me and I felt heat disperse into places that I didn't realize could do that. I was so new to this, I barely felt my brother's hands no longer touching my hands, but rather on my hips, his breath closer to an area I assumed was intimate. I didn't look; I mortified because I had no clue what was going on with my body. I felt my brother's chuckle resonate through me.
"Relax, nothing's wrong. This will feel weird at first, but I'm sure you'll like it. I do." His velvet voice echoed in my head before I felt something wet and strong brush against my innocent length. I seized up, shocked at the feeling that exploded from that one, acute point to the millions of nerve endings through my body. I swallowed with difficulty.
"Relax, little brother," he whispered, his lips caressing that part of me. My hands managed to find the sheets, fisting them tightly as I focused to relax the rest of me. I was just getting used to Brother's lips down there—not second guessing him because he said he liked it—when his mouth had enveloped my member completely.
My eyes shut tighter, trying to block out the strange, pleasurable feeling. I instead focused on how his hands were repositioning my legs to rest atop his shoulders, giving him better access to suck—I bit my lip, seeing white stars winking in my shut eyes. My stomach tightened as I felt his tongue sweep up and down in slow, smooth motions.
His hands massaged mine, kneading the tightened knuckles to release the strenuous hold. I wouldn't, and I could taste blood in my mouth as his pace on me continued. My insides seemed to tighten so quickly and so painfully I was caught off guard, and my hands let go of the sheets and my teeth quit biting down on my lip as I arched into the touch of my brother's sweet lips.
He pulled away from me, wiping his thumb across his chin only to lick the appendage. My eyes were half-open, staring at him with a mixture of astonishment and curiosity. He smiled before leaning over me to kiss my neck, my lips, while digging in his bedside table for something. When he had found what he was looking for, he pulled back, opening the small bottle. He put a sizeable amount on his fingertip and shut the cap to the bottle, throwing it carelessly onto the floor. He made sure that two of his fingers were well covered in the gel before looking back at me with a serious face.
He kissed me roughly then, his tongue forcing my lips open in an uncharacteristic way. I whimpered, and realized belatedly that the kiss was meant to distract me. One of the fingers had pushed past the first barrier, filling me with a strange cold mixed with underlying heat. I didn't like it.
I tried pulling away from it, but Brother made sure I was fastened to him; his other arm had snaked around my middle during the intrusive kiss. His finger was moving in me, and it felt so strange to me. Brother broke the kiss, and I voiced my discomfort.
"I—I don't like it," I complained shakily.
"Does it hurt?"
"No," I admitted, "It feels weird."
"It will feel good, Sasuke." Just as those words were said, he slipped the other lubricated finger in, stretching me. I stiffened, trying to stop this one, but it hurt because he kept moving.
"I-it hurts," I whimpered, feeling the two fingers scissoring and pushing in and out.
"Relax," he murmured into my ear. "It hurts because you're so tight. You…" He pushed in one more time before pulling the offending appendages away from my body.
"W-why did you stop?" I protested. He kissed my lips gently, wiping his hand on his shirt.
"You're too young, right now, little brother."
"That's not a good reason," I glowered at him. He smiled genially at me, his lips touching my nose before moving to whisper in my ear.
"I can't make you big enough for me right now without hurting you, so we're going to have to wait." I felt the blush flaming on my cheeks.
"You're just saying that so I don't keep bothering you." He laughed at my statement, and his eyes met mine.
"No, I'm saying that because I would hurt you if we tried going farther than your body is capable of right now."
Kakashi was speechless. Who wouldn't be? This was a lot of information to take in on one day. I watched him, appreciating his stunned silence. It gave me a chance to think.
How would I feel if I learned that one of my students in The Academy had the same tale as me—only with a few differences? Of course I'd be shocked, but I'd have a sense of relief that I wasn't the only one who loved someone I shouldn't. I thought that over, deciding that I wasn't able to look at the situation objectively.
"Sasuke," Kakashi said, pulling me from my reverie. I looked at him, wiping away the rest of my tears hurriedly.
"Yes, Kakashi-san?" He looked at me carefully, his black eye even more opaque than usual and his entire stature looking older than his age.
"I'm at my limit for shocking statements, stories, and the like. If you want to come with me for a few drinks, I'd be more than happy to pay for your rounds." It was my turn for astonishment.
"Thank you, Kakashi-san, but…I'm still a minor." I whispered it like a hush-hush thing. Kakashi startled me by laughing.
"When you're a ninja, you're a minor until you're eighteen, not twenty. After all, we could die waiting to be legal." He laughed at his carefree joke, and I couldn't help but join in with him.
"All right, if you insist." I felt honored—in a strange way—that Kakashi wanted to drink with me.
TBC...
