A/N: Don't worry. Itachi will appear soon. Opportune moments, guys, opportune. Thanks so much for bearing with me and sending reviews.
My, My Sasuke
By: Apherion
Chapter 5
I arrived at the gorge when the sun was forty-five degrees from being directly overhead. I didn't delay in the work that had to be done. I was duly convinced this was what I needed, however wrong it may be to be under that impression.
Upon my first inspection of the chasm, I found nothing. I didn't expect to as it was just a quick survey of where we had fought. However, by the fourth time of combing the area, I was still hard pressed to find anything that could be a semblance of a clue. I wanted to give up then, but I knew better than that. I would do better than that.
My frustration continued to steadily rise as I skipped lunch to continue my agonizing search, each time turning up fewer results than the last. At one point, I managed to count myself into the negatives only to realize that my arithmetic had never been that of a top student.
Cursing, I persisted on my hopeless plight, while trying to keep my memories at bay. I needed to focus, and I couldn't allow myself to let those hands touch me now—not when I wanted it to be his hands and not mine. But I still could not find anything that remotely resembled my brother.
Surely, surely there was something that I would find. My fingers were sore from picking apart the gorge, searching with desperation. Each exploration I would finish more discouraged than the last, every time thinking about giving up. Yet, his face tore at my heart, and I would continue to look for anything that wasn't rocks, kunai, or blood.
I faced the canyon wall, drawing my arm back. Without thinking, I threw my fist against the wall, splitting a crack in the rock and making a semi-deep impression. My hand throbbed from the power behind the blow.
Despite my shock, I wanted to scream, to yell out all of my pent up frustrations. If only he could see me now, fanatically looking for anything that could lead me to wherever he may be.
I turned my back to the wall, sliding down until I reached the bottom…rock bottom. I buried my face in my hands, grieving for losing something so precious without even realizing how valuable it was.
I prayed for some miracle to happen. I was desperate enough to want everything to revert back to how it once was. I would gladly go back to being a slave—a soon-to-be body—for Orochimaru, when I had been too blind by my thirst for power to notice the feelings simmering away in my subconscious. I would hand Naruto over myself, while he was still wanted by the Akatsuki for the kyuubi inside of him. Anything so I would have some assurance I'd see him again—sooner than later.
My head tilted back with my eyes closed, weary from the physically and emotionally exhausting day. The sun had begun to set, casting long shadows off of certain formations in the rocks, and that's when I saw it.
Something was wrong with one of the structures of rocks and the sunset pointed it out unequivocally.
I pushed myself from my spot on the ground into a standing position, no longer feeling the fatigue of a long day. I sprinted to the anomaly in the rock, seeing the fissure up-close as if for the first time today. A piece of cloth hung just millimeters out of the crevice, and I tugged on the small amount I could see.
I drew out the rest of the shirt with ease, the black top twice my height and a size larger across the shoulders.
I stared in disbelief at the shirt, recognizing a tear in the fabric too thin to properly cover a ninja's torso.
The shirt was like silk to my fingertips, and I could imagine the hands that grabbed this garment. They were the same hands that would strip this shirt off with agonizingly unhurried movements as the owner of the body would slowly advance on me.
I shook my head to ignore its last thought, not entirely erasing the imagined picture of the two of us. I pulled the shirt to my face, hoping the material had retained his scent. I inhaled deeply, my senses receiving volts of energy from the action. His cologne was faint, but the fragrance that I was breathing could only be owned by my brother.
His cologne was the same as I always could remember, spicy-sweet like cinnamon apple or pumpkin caramel. The scent that clung to every pore on his body was more difficult to describe perfectly. He smelled like rain or a waterfall pouring into a mixture of green tea and lavender, but there were undertones to the scent that were always too faint for me to pick out.
I clutched the shirt as if it were a lifeline. I didn't need to know that the stars were coming out, and I didn't care that my stomach was growling. All I wanted was to be left alone with my brother's article of clothing and dream about seeing him again.
We were lying on the ground on his blanket, staring up at the darkening sky. It was summertime, and the stars were bright as they slowly appeared. Brother's hand was touching mine, and I wasn't really paying attention to the beauty he was exposing me to. After all, what more could I have asked for at the time? A kiss, perhaps, but we both knew what I really wanted, and he continued to deny me.
I had insisted to him that I had grown, desperately dragging him to my growth chart on the wall to prove that I was getting taller. He, however, just chuckled at my eagerness and patted my hair. It angered me to the point of tears because I wanted to be the first Brother would see when he came home. I wanted to mean more to him than Shisui did. I wanted my brother's attention for myself.
I made my hand clasp his as we gazed up into the never-ending sky, twinkling from the white lights embedded there. I gained no reaction from him; my brother just lay there, smiling contentedly up at the night sky with me. My patience was wearing thin.
I tilted my head back far enough to give me a view of the house. Mama and Papa weren't home right now, doing something in town called a 'date', but I still couldn't help feeling paranoid. I wasn't supposed to tell Mama or Papa, or anyone for that matter, what Brother and I did. It was our 'little secret' as Brother liked to put it.
I shifted closer to him, again receiving no response from my effort. Brother didn't even glance at me to see what I was doing. He did, however, notice when my fingers detached themselves from his to trace soft trails up and down his forearm. I could feel his gaze on me as I watched my pale fingers slide against equally fair skin. The muscles tightened reflexively, and my brother's breathing changed.
He pulled me on top of him then, grasping my chin to capture my lips in a searing kiss. The uncontained strength jarred me, and I panicked in his hold. My still-too-small hands pressed ineffectively against his chest as his tongue forced its way into my mouth. I couldn't think as warmth flooded my senses. I was being devoured by him, but this wasn't the pleasurable sensation I had before. This was different, scary.
My eyes remained shut; not wanting to know what would happen if I opened them, afraid of what I might see. Brother never acted this way around me. For the first time he wasn't treating me like a China doll, but I couldn't, I wasn't enjoying it.
My stomach was swooning uncomfortably as his tongue delved into my mouth, rougher in his exploration than he'd ever been. I couldn't breathe in his hold. He was sucking away my air as he bruised my soft lips with his insistency.
His other arm snaked around my waist, reaching underneath my shirt to sketch the outline of my spine. I shivered at his warmth, wanting to escape as he pinned me to his body. He barely retracted from my lips before his hand grasped the back of my neck to compel me into his kiss once again. The other hand was warm against the small of my back, but it didn't continue drawing along my spine.
As his hand dipped into my shorts, I tried to get away, pushing against his chest unsuccessfully. His kiss was hard on my tender lips, and I tasted blood in my mouth as his teeth scraped against my lower lip. His fingers splayed across my flesh, and I braced myself against the action, tensing. Two digits pushed firmly inside of me, sending a ripple of pain through my entire body as they roughly stretched my sensitive, young body.
My scream was muffled by my brother's lips, but he still heard it. The hand on the back of my neck let up only to force me to his chest, fastening me there, holding me down. I was sobbing, afraid that he would continue with ravishing me until there would be nothing left. My fears were wasted, however. Slowly and as gently as he could, he withdrew his fingers from within me. I wailed at the pain that shot through my spine.
Brother's lips kissed at my eyes, but it didn't prevent me from crying against him. I was terrified by what had possessed my brother. I felt the tears my brother had missed spilling down my cheeks and onto his shirt. Brother clutched me to him, but I didn't look at his face. My wide, streaming eyes, glassy from tears, stared unseeingly at our backyard.
"Sasuke, I'm…I shouldn't…" He was holding me close to his body, trying to console me as he rubbed my back as gently as he could. I held onto him, shaking, but forgiving him at the same time.
Naturally, I blamed myself for what had happened. It was my fault for touching him like I did. I brought it upon myself.
Soon, my tears stopped, but my grip on his shirt didn't loosen. His hands were soft on my back, touching me once more like porcelain. I didn't mind to soft caresses, thankful for these and not the other, harsher touches.
"Sasuke, do you hate me?" He whispered. His voice was raw, as if he'd been crying, too. I shook my head, still holding on tight to him. I didn't want to let him go, despite how much he had scared me. I didn't want him to leave me for denying him.
"Nii-san," I croaked, hoarse from my tears. I turned my face to look at him. "I'm…sorry." He looked at me, astonished at my apology.
"You did nothing wrong, Sasuke," he murmured, kissing my lips slowly, carefully. I shook my head when he pulled back from me.
"I…I didn't let…I was just startled! We can…keep…going…" my voice trailed off, my body disagreeing with my words.
"No we can't, little brother. I've already explained that you can't do that with me just yet. Tonight's proof that you've still got, at the very least, a year before I can touch you like that." My eyes watered from the rejection, and I lashed out at him.
"You just like Shisui better than me—that's why!" I shouted at him. I shocked him for a second time.
"Where would you get that ridiculous idea?" He asked me seriously, voice soft and placating.
"You; you only do that with Shisui, so you must like him more than me," I accused. His lips touched mine delicately, his tongue licking slowly along my top and bottom lips. I parted them for him, letting him have the access he so desired. The tongue ran leisurely against mine, coaxing it to respond to the small, exaggerated movements. I tried, letting my tongue wrap along his. Brother pulled back, and my eyes had a hard time fluttering open.
"Never think about that, little brother," he whispered. I didn't want to let it go, but I had a strong feeling that if I didn't, he would get angry with me. So I changed the subject, my half-lidded eyes giving me the perfect topic.
"Nii-san…I'm tired." I yawned to emphasize the statement. Brother tenderly held me in his arms as he stood up, silently obeying my wish for sleep. He didn't grab his blanket, though.
"Nii-san, your blanket," I reminded him, but he looked at me and smiled softly.
"I'll get it later," he replied, kissing the top of my head. I blushed.
"But nii-san…I want to…to…" Brother smiled down at me.
"You want to what, Sasuke?" My face heated more as he was making me confess.
"I want to…spend the night with you," I muttered, embarrassed at being made to say it.
"I can still get it later," he replied, but I wasn't going to have it. He was not leaving me.
"No you can't," I retorted obstinately for the seven year-old that I was. "I don't want you to leave." An emotion I couldn't recognize flitted across his face before he nodded in assent. He stooped to grab the blanket from the ground, holding it in one of his hands.
"Just for tonight, though." I buried my face in his chest, happy that I could stay with him, if only for tonight.
I started, my eyes dilating as I shot upright. I had almost forgotten that memory. We fell asleep together on his bed that night. I was curled against his chest, and one of his arms was draped over me protectively, affectionately. I recalled how his hand stroked my hair absently until I was no longer conscious.
My brother's shirt drifted from my chest to my lap from my sudden movement. Hot, boiling rage filled me as I look at the black material blending perfectly with the navy blanket. God damn it! Before I could stop myself, my already-injured fist had slammed painfully into the rocky ground beneath me. I cursed loudly, holding my hand, glaring at the shirt.
My eyes softened when I realized I was leering at a piece of fabric. Ridiculous, I thought as I lifted it up to my chest as I lay back down. My head rested once more on my pack as I gingerly positioned my injured hand on top of the cloth, eyes still blinking from the vivid memory. Uneasily, I settled myself for sleep. I was going to need it if I was going to be able to start tracking him tomorrow.
TBC...
