Rin's Waiting : 2 Rejection
The sun shone into the room, tickling Rin's face with its warmth. She woke up and sat up, dazed and confused. She wasn't sure if she was still in a dream or rather, the whole life with SesshoMaru-sama was a dream. Tears started to spill down her cheeks, staining them. Horror and sadness overtook her as she realized what had transpired since yesterday. SesshoMaru had left her. She broke down and cried, sobbing into her quilt.
As she rubbed her neck, she felt stinging pain and small bumps. She realized it was a canine bite mark and she cried more, recalling the teeth of the wolves when they had killed her when she was younger. She thought SesshoMaru had bitten her, to reject her, leaving her with signs that he did not want her. She couldn't stop crying as Lady Karei came in and found her in such state.
"Rin-chan, what is the matter?" the older woman asked, concerned as she sat down on Rin's futon, rubbing Rin's back. Rin snapped her head up and stared at her, scooting away from Lady Karei's contact, shaking her head no. Lady Karei sighed, "Oh, child." She murmured as she watched Rin look around with frantic look on her face.
Rin scrambled from the futon, running around the room. She wanted to get out, she scrambled at the shoji wall, ripping them with her fingers and she found the door, running out of the room and down the hall.
No! SesshoMaru didn't leave her! She thought as she ran around, getting lost in the maze of the strange place. He would never abandon her, he always comes back! She glanced around and found she had come to a dead end. She fell against the wall, thumping her tiny fits, screaming and crying. She couldn't find her way out and she gave up, slumping down to the floor in the corner, crying softly as she covered her hand over the wound on her neck. Why? Why did he leave her? Was everything a dream?
Lady Karei found her huddling in the corner. She knelt down before her and held out her hand. "Rin-chan, come on. This is your home now, you belong here with us."
Rin stared up at the woman, her eyes rimmed red and tears caked on her face. Her brown irises were dull with sorrow and fatigue. She shook her head, saying no.
Lady Karei gathered Rin into her arms and picked her up with ease, Rin did not struggle as she lay limp in the woman's arms. Lady Karei brought her to the dining hall, where a long table's surface was full of food.
Rin was settled on a pillow and she stared at the food, not feeling hunger. She slowly picked at them, ignoring everything else.
"Lady Karei, she's not going to hurt herself? She's rather desolate." A handmaiden leaned over, whispering to the woman.
Lady Karei waved her hand, "I am sure she won't. Give her time, she just came in this morning and it's rather a shock for her."
Rin stood up and made her way back to her bedroom which was down the hall from the dining hall. She crawled into her futon, pulling the cover to her nose as she stared out of the window. The forest swayed in the soft breeze outside her window.
"SesshoMaru…. SesshoMaru-sama… come back." She whispered as tears flowed once again.
The lady of the house looked up to the ceiling. She had followed Rin from the dining hall and stood outside of Rin's door. She had heard the soft whimper, calling for the Taiyoukai. The soft pleading broke her heart as she knew the child loved the stoic youkai. She sighed as she buried her face in her hand, knowing SesshoMaru-sama would not return for a long time. War was never short.
As she guessed, life in youkai world was different. Much rougher and cruel than the world she lived in. Rin almost seemed to be made for that world rather than the world she originally belonged in. Rin was more inuyoukai by heart than being human and was mourning for SesshoMaru-sama the way the inuyoukai would, crying and whimpering like one. Inuyoukai tend to mourn for a long time and she knew, it will be a long time before Rin truly come out of mourning.
Indeed, it took a long time to coax Rin out of her silence. She slowly begun to eat again, hunger finally won her over. She did not smile for a long time. She kept to short answers and it almost scared Lady Karei that her personality was closed off very much like the taiyoukai, speaking in cool tone and keeping her words simple and sharp.
Rin was an unexceptionally strange child. She did not object or fight, she did everything she was told, much like a pitiful dog. Her behavior and characteristic was too much like a dog and it bothered Lady Karei, knowing once Rin reach to the point, she would snap and each day, she watched, waiting for the fateful moment to happen.
About a month later after Rin started to live with Lady Karei, the woman asked Rin, "Would you like to go outside today? Perhaps to the village?" she hoped Rin would finally bring herself out of the mansion where she kept herself hidden most of the time.
Rin looked up from her desk in her room and nodded. She got up and took a light overcoat and followed Lady Karei out of her room. Lady Karei felt relieved inside and led the girl outside the mansion, through the garden courtyard. Rin kept close behind her the entire time as they treaded through the village, shopping, looking around, and never saying a word.
Children stopped playing to look at her. Few of them whispered, wanting to know who she was. It was Rin's first appearance in the village even though the entire village knew about her the first day she had arrived. Some parents took their younger children away, as if they were afraid of Rin. Rumor had spread through the village that Rin was brought to the village by a youkai and the rumor had changed, resulting saying that Rin was a youkai disguised in human form, left to curse the village.
Rin scowled as she noticed the people's reaction to her. She held her head high and kept close to Lady Karei, since Lady Karei was the only person who treated her like a normal person. The servants in the mansion were also afraid of her. She knew she was different from them but they didn't have to be afraid of her.
As they approached the center of the village where older children played in the square, kicking leather ball around, a group of boys in their early teens approached them. One boy stood out, taller and a bit older than the others, he had black hair held in short pony tail and his clothing showed he was of a higher class family in the village.
Rin swallowed as she caught his cruel gaze and looked away. She didn't like the way the boy was looking at her. It was almost as if he promised her something such as pain and torture.
"Rin, why don't you go and play with the other children?" Lady Karei stopped as she turned to Rin. She looked up, fear was almost edvience in her eyes and she shook her head. Lady Karei smiled, taking Rin's arm, leading her over to where the boys stood together. "Come on, I'll introduce you to someone." She smiled to the tall boy, "Ramaru! Come here!"
Rin saw the tall boy's face change into sweet smile and he bowed, "Lady Karei."
"Ramaru, this is Rin. She just started to live with me for a while. It would do her greatly if you show her around and be her friend. Goodness knows she needs that."
Rin tried fitfully to hide behind Lady Karei's kimono, peeking out. She saw the boy nodded and fear clutched her chest. "Will do, milady." He turned his head to Rin, "Hey there." She frowned; the boy seemed nice enough that she felt she could not trust him.
Lady Karei took her kimono away from Rin's clutches and stepped away, pushing her toward Ramaru. "Now, you kids have fun. I'll be shopping."
Rin's eyes widened slightly as the woman slipped away from her, leaving her alone with the boys. She glanced around and saw other girls her age huddled in group, glancing over to them, giggling.
Ramaru's face changed into menacing look, "Now, what do we got here?" He grinned, mischievous glint shone in his eyes. He poked Rin's shoulder.
The other boys laughed. One said haughtly, "Mom said she had been left behind by a youkai."
Ramaru's eyebrow rose, "Ah, a demon's child, eh? Aren't you?" He poked Rin again and then grabbed her arm. Rin was faster, she wretched herself out of his grip and sprinted toward the forest, running away.
"Hey! Come back here!" Ramaru shouted after her. He sighed and turned to the others, "Guess we'll wait for her to come around to have fun." The others laughed.
"Didn't she just run into the youkai forest?" One boy asked, gesturing to where Rin had run off.
Ramaru turned and a thoughtful look crossed his face. "Hm. She did. If she comes back alive, it'll prove her that she's a demon." He laughed and then picked up the ball and returned to playing.
Rin had ran far into the forest from the village. She stopped to catch her breathing. She was heaving pretty hard since she had been running through the rough area of the forest. She looked up and glanced around, the forest seemed friendly and quiet but she knew with her years of experience following SesshoMaru-sama, the forest wasn't a normal simple forest, it was filled with youkai.
She glanced back and saw the village in the distant and turned to continue her way through the forest. She spotted several smaller youkai creature scrambling across her path and ignored them, continuing her exploration of the forest. She felt safe and at home in the forest and realized then that she never truly belonged with the humans.
Sitting down on the log, she fiddled with the hem of her coat as she looked up to the sky through the patched leaves above her. "SesshoMaru, why did you leave me with them? I do not belong with them."
Almost as if she could hear his words on the wind, "You are human, you must be with humans." Though she knew it was from her imagination but it had stung her, she cried into her hands, feeling more alone than ever.
AN:
This chapter was shorter than I expected, so I tried to extend it a bit, only managed one page longer. There was thing about being human and being youkai, Rin is rather lost in between, unsure where she stands. This chapter showed more insight on her emotions, dealing with abandonment.
I think I will be enjoying rewriting the whole story, I hope I will be able to fill in some holes that I've left with the original.
Hope to hear your insight about this story. Thanks! Hugs.
