Chapter Five: Thirsty
As usual, the next morning Kiara was the first to awaken. Several months of lookout duty had changed her internal clock somewhat, and she almost never slept in anymore. Kovu was nestled snugly against her, and she hated to leave the warmth of his body. Slowly, carefully, she edged away from him and headed outside.
It was still quite dark out, and Kiara was thirsty, so she decided to head over to the water hole. She wouldn't be able to see much that was going on this early anyway. Anyway, it was often a good place to eavesdrop on the conversations of the other animals, and learn of anything unusual going on.
It was only when she stepped within sight of the water that she realized that, in fact, she hadn't been the first lion up today. Sarabi was sitting by the water, staring into its depths, captivated by something Kiara could not see. She looked very old, and there was a sadness about her that made Kiara shiver.
She didn't know how best to approach, so she just stood there and watched. After a moment, Sarabi sighed and seemed to come out of her reverie. She took a few cursory laps of water, then turned slowly around and started toward the place where Kiara crouched behind some scrawny shrubs.
Being very quiet and careful, Kiara backtracked a bit, then started forward again loudly, as if she had only just arrived on the scene. Sarabi smiled when she saw her, and asked what Kiara was doing up so early.
"I'm the lookout," said Kiara. "Since Zazu retired…"
"Yes," said Sarabi, "I was wondering where Zazu was, to be honest. Is he still…"
"He's still alive, yes," said Kiara, grinning. "He took a bit of a vacation. Said he needed a change of scenery. 'Out of Africa,' he said."
"That sounds about right," said Sarabi. "Did you want to get a drink?"
Kiara nodded, and Sarabi stepped aside. Kiara bent over and took a good long drink, and when she straightened up, she felt much better.
"So," said Kiara as she and Sarabi started back up to Pride Rock together, "where did you and Kopa go after you left?"
"Oh," sighed Sarabi, "we went to a nice valley where my mother used to live… It was deserted, but we managed. It wasn't easy, feeding myself and a young cub by myself, at my age, but once Kopa learned to hunt, we thrived."
"Why did you only decide to come back now?"
Sarabi didn't answer at first, and when she did, she didn't look at Kiara. "I'm tired. Too tired, and Kopa deserved the chance to come back and live the life he was meant to live… He felt like an exile, I know, though he would never admit it."
Kiara considered this. She imagined Sarabi and Kopa, huddled together in some unnamed wilderness, without the comfort and protection of a whole pride. It must have been depressing, at times, being so alone. The worst part must have been knowing that they had done nothing at all to deserve such a hard life.
"Poor Kopa," said Kiara softly.
"I don't know how ambitious he is," said Sarabi, "but if you still wanted to be queen, he would, of course, step down. You've been preparing to rule all your life, and... He hasn't. It's a very unusual situation."
Kiara didn't answer. It was true that she had always believed that she would one day be queen. She'd never thought much of the idea; she'd never looked forward to so much responsibility. She didn't feel like she would make a good leader. She had to admit, she was tempted to just let Kopa take the throne, as he was the eldest, and a male, besides.
But there was a very small part of her that wondered… She might make a good queen. She might even make a great queen. She'd helped the Outlanders, she'd convinced them to get out from under the shadow of Zira's twisted plot. She cared about the subjects of the kingdom, she wanted to do what was best for them.
Weren't those good qualities in a leader?
She brushed off the train of thought and sighed. She didn't have to decide now. Simba had been hinting that he might step down and let Kiara take over soon, but he wouldn't until she was sure she was ready. Simba had had responsibility thrust upon him before he was prepared to take it, and it had turned out well enough for him, but… Kiara wasn't he father, and she was exceptionally afraid of failure.
"Kiara?"
Kiara jumped and looked over at Sarabi, whose eyes were boring into Kiara's as though trying to read her thoughts. "Is there something on your mind?"
Kiara shrugged. "I was just thinking."
Sarabi nodded, and gave a swift smile. "You're not the first girl born to the throne, you know," she said.
"I'm not?" asked Kiara, startled.
"No, your great-grandmother Uru was the eldest of her litter, which all turned out to be girls. She went on to give birth to two boys; Mufasa and… Scar."
Kiara nodded. "She was a good ruler, wasn't she?"
"Yes," said Sarabi, beaming reminiscently. "She was the one who took my mother and aunts in when we came through the kingdom, seeking aid. Uru was very compassionate. She was the one who suggested I one day marry Mufasa. I owe a lot to her."
"What about Ahadi?" asked Kiara. Ahadi had been Uru's chosen mate, and by all accounts had been a capable leader. "What was he like?"
"He was smart, and certainly loved Uru," said Sarabi. "But he was distant, and showed obvious favoritism when it came to Mufasa. We'll never know exactly why Scar turned out so badly, but I'm sure Ahadi's attitude toward him played a significant part."
"That's sad," said Kiara.
"It's still no excuse for all the trouble Scar caused," said Sarabi, bristling. "For all the lives he ruined…"
Kiara shook her head. "I didn't mean… I…"
"I know," said Sarabi, taking a deep breath. "I get angry at the very thought of Scar. That's why I'm so… distant… with Kovu and the rest of Zira's pride."
"It's not Zira's pride," said Kiara, a little more sharply than she had intended. "They're part of our pride now. None of them has given us any reason to stop trusting them -- not since Zira died."
"Okay," said Sarabi. "I know you believe in them. I suppose that should be good enough for me. It's just… you have no idea how hard it is for me. Scar took so much from me, and even after he was gone, Zira kept on trying to spoil our lives. I regret that my hate didn't die with them."
Kiara nodded. She did understand. She knew what Sarabi had been through, and knew it would take a long time for her to make peace with the past. She remembered how prejudiced Simba had been, and wondered if it would be the same thing all over again. "They won't give you any reason to hate them," she said finally. "You'll see… they're really not that different from us."
"I hope you're right," said Sarabi. They had reached Pride Rock, and she began to ascend ahead of Kiara. "I would love to be proved wrong, Kiara."
Kiara gave a small smile, and began to climb too.
"How did you come to have such a big heart?" asked Sarabi, before she turned to go into the cave, where most of the pride was still sleeping.
Kiara blinked, not sure how to answer. "I just… I just trust."
