Authors note: Thanks for the reviews guys! As long as they keep coming I'll keep updating, and the more reviews the more motivated I will be ;) And this is, as I said my first fiction, so constructive criticism is great. And if anyone is willing to beta, that is excellent! xox

5.

It had been almost a week since Elle went out with Todd, and things were still a bit strained between the girls after their conversation in the living room. Claire knew that it was completely her fault and she really did feel bad about it, but it had caused her actual physical pain to hear about those two together and she couldn't bare to put herself in that position again until she thought that she could handle it better.

She really did believe that it might not be so bad if Elle was with someone that was at least worthy of her…someone that would appreciate her in the way that she deserved be. In any event, Todd was certainly not that guy, so it was hard for Claire to drum up any enthusiasm for the new couple.

Elle had sensed that something was off and she has been giving Claire space, people may underestimate her aptitude for general social norms but when it came to the important stuff she was very intuitive. She knew that she was hurting Elle but there didn't seem to be much she could bring herself to do about it ….she wanted to be a bigger person, but she was jealous and she was needy and she knew that she could not bare to hear about how happy they were together.

Claire had been using any excuse to get out of the house lately, which was why she was currently meandering through the shopping mall, wasting time and avoiding any more awkward or painful situations.

Sipping out of her over sized soda container, she was content to people watch, liking the fact that this little trip had reminded her that there were people more screwed up then she was. She may be in love with the girl sleeping in the next room, but surrounded by cheating husbands and surgery junkies, her falling in love with a girl hardly seemed like a blip on the radar.

She was so wrapped up in revelling in others misery, that she almost missed Todd walking hand in hand with some bimbo a few paces ahead of her. Her stomach boiled in anger as she watched him grope her in front of the theatre, and Claire walked up to them without thinking.

"What do you think you are doing?!", she spat out, her fury coming off her in waves. Todd raised his eyebrows in disbelief, "Excuse me?" he said, looking genuinely confused.

Claire didn't miss a beat, "You were out with Elle, what, two days ago, and now you're already on to some new skank?". She shook her head, "I knew you weren't good enough for her".

Todd regained his composure, "We went on one date, after which she made it pretty clear that it wouldn't happen again…and I am pretty sure she tasered me when I kissed her good night!".

Claire's anger dissipated immediately, "She said she didn't want to see you again?", she repeated confused. Todd grabbed his date by the wrist and began to stalk off, "Yeah she did, I was actually scared that I would I'd have Noah knocking down my door, I didn't think I would have to worry about death by cheerleader", he spat out as he stalked off and Claire stood there for a moment longer, unsure as to why Elle would keep this from her.

# # #

Elle and Lyle sat out in the dining room together as she helping him to build a bridge from popsicle sticks for his science class. She was unaware how this would improve his education at all but it was fun, and learning had never been enjoyable when she was growing up so she liked lending him a hand.

They were putting the finishing touches on their masterpiece when Claire walked in looking lost in thought, and Elle was careful not to say anything as the younger girl had been easily annoyed for the last few days.

She did not have to wait long because Claire spoke to them first, "Hey", was all she got out, but it was enough to make Elle beam. Lyle, however, did not seem as impressed. "Oh you're talking to us now, how gracious of you". Claire rolled her eyes, "Don't be a bitch".

Lyle glared at her and then picked up a can of spaghetti and held it above their creation, "If I can get this bridge to hold the weight of this can. I pass my class. A moment please", Elle bent her head solemnly with Lyle; they had spent all afternoon and well in to the night on this wretched thing.

His hand and the attached can were hovering over the bridge, and Lyle finally placed it on top carefully. They held their breath as the bridge groaned under the weight, but it seemed to be holding, "Yes!" Lyle beamed, high fiving Elle and doing a little dance on the spot.

They had celebrated too soon though, it seemed, because the bridge suddenly gave out, much to their dismay. Lyle fell to his knees and clutched at the broken popsicles, and Elle looked on apologetically, "I'll help you build one tomorrow. And your dad! He can help too".

Claire raised her hand a little in the air, "Yeah I can pitch in", Elle looked at her quizzically and wondered what had happened to the moody girl that had occupied that body only hours earlier. Lyle showed no response and Elle began to move, she had heard it was appropriate to allow a respectful distance during mourning periods.

Claire reached out and touched her arm as she made her way past her and out the door, "Can we please talk for a second?" Elle nodded dumbly and Claire continued, "Up in your room? We can leave Lyle to his….." she didn't finish the sentence and simply waved at the boy sitting in the middle of a mess of cans and Popsicle sticks.

Once they had made their way in to the room, Claire clicked the door shut behind them and walked across to the bed, sitting down. Elle stayed standing, hugging herself tightly.

"I ran in to Todd at the mall earlier", she blurted out not looking at Elle, who tried to maintain her composure, even though her heart beat sped up wildly, "You did?" she asked softly.

Elle felt sick, she hadn't wanted Claire to know that she had messed up. So she just stood there and studied her shoes, hoping that the ridicule would be over with soon. She always got a stern talking to when she messed things up.

Claire stood up and made her way towards her and stopped when she was standing inches away, and Elle could now see her shoes moving back and forth as she rocked on the balls of her feet, she spoke again first, "Why didn't you tell me?". Elle finally looked up and straight in to her eyes, "I wanted you to think that I was good at it".

Claire smiled softly, "At dating?. Elle no one is good at dating. It's awkward and its stressful and more often then not it ends badly". Elle shook her head, completely confused, "Then why do people bother?" she asked.

Claire broke eye contact and went over and resumed her seat on the bed, picking her words carefully, "They bother because every one is waiting for that time it isn't any of those things, when it's easy and fun and perfect...waiting for that person who makes it those things". Elle let the knot in her chest loosen slightly, "So It wasn't me, I didn't screw it up?" She asked hopefully.

"No", Claire shook her head and then grinned, "But he said that you tasered him" Elle was mortified, "He deserved it!", she quickly replied, not wanting to get in to trouble, "He kissed me without asking! And he had wandering hands! He is lucky he only got a little shock!", she said crossing her arms tightly over her chest. Elle knew that Claire wouldn't tell Noah, but she still couldn't control the dread that rippled through her body. Claire smiled reassuringly, "It's ok, he deserved it" Elle let out the breath she hadn't known that she was holding.

"I'm glad that was not what it was supposed to be like', Elle stated, truly relieved as she made her way to sit by Claire on the bed, "I was worried it was, I may not know a whole lot, but I knew he wasn't the one for me".

Claire nodded understandingly, "There is someone for you out there Elle, don't worry. It just isn't him" She poked her teasingly, "Though I could have told you that and saved you all the trouble" Elle looked at her intently, "Then why didn't you?".

# # #

Claire hesitated, "I did try, I gave him the dinner excuse…", Elle shook her head, "I'm not talking about that, you know I trust you and I wouldn't have gone if you had told me that I shouldn't". Claire's heart flip-flopped, "I'm not sure, maybe I thought that you needed to figure that out for yourself".

Elle looked at her, "Figure what out for myself?" she asked desperately. Claire fidgeted, but stopped when Elle interlaced their hands and gave her a squeeze. Claire finally looked up, "Figure out what you want." She gulped and steadied herself, the tingles from the contact made her heady and she said more then she wanted too, "To figure out who you want".

Elle nodded, "And what if I am not sure what I want?", Claire sighed and smiled softly, "I can wait…I mean it can wait. It can" She whispered in a fluster as she stood up and broke the contact. She walked out of the room and shut the door behind her, leaning back against it she softly hit her head against the wood, "Idiot", she whispered to herself.

Walking in to the bathroom her mind raced as she continued to beat herself up and she quickly got changed and slipped in to bed, hoping a deep sleep would take over her so she wouldn't have to think.

She was so busy chastising herself she didn't even initially register her door sliding open, but she defiantly noticed when the bed dipped to signal a new arrival. "Elle?", she asked softly as she felt a body curl around hers in response.

"What's wrong?" Claire asked, trying desperately to steady her heart beat before it leapt out of her chest. She felt Elle cling to her tighter, "You broke your promise once this week, I figure if I stay with you at all times, you wont be able do it again". Claire furrowed her brows; "I broke my promise?" she asked and felt the girl next to her hug her even closer. "You promised that you wouldn't ever leave me" she prompted softly and Claire replied swiftly, "I never left you!".

Elle took a moment to reply, "Yes you did, you wouldn't talk to me for days, you wouldn't look at me or touch me…and it hurt…", Elle hesitated, "It hurts even more to not know why. But if you tell me what I did then I will make sure to never ever do it again, I swear".

Claire felt her insides slump, she truly was an ass, "I am really sorry Elle, it wasn't you…I just had a lot on my mind. But I meant it, I wont ever leave you….I don't think I could even if I wanted to". Claire felt Elle release her iron grip ever so slightly before she responded, "You had better not" she said as she began to slowly trace circles on Claire's skin.

Claire struggled to focus on the conversation at hand, Elle's proximity and the touches, the familiar prickling sensation on her skin was burning a trail following Elle's fingertips and she did her best to keep her breathing steady. Her control was nearly lost when the girl next to her spoke again, in a voice bordering on a whisper, "What's it supposed to feel like when you kiss someone?".

# # #

Elle waited for Claire to reply, which took longer then she thought it should have "Supposed to?" she croacked out, in a voice that was considerably more husky then usual for some reason.

Elle nodded, "Usually when I kiss someone, or touch them, it fees nice… But then occasionally it feels different, like it makes my heart flutter or my skin burn. Is it supposed to feel like that? What does that mean?" Elle desperately needed to know what her body was trying to tell her about the way Claire touched her, but she didn't want to upset her so she left the true logistics of her current predicament out.

She felt Claire inhale deeply before she answered, "It is supposed to feel like that for someone special. When you find that you should hold on to it…..to hold on to them", Elle wasn't sure but she could swear that Claire was talking more to herself at this point.

Elle nodded and sighed, "That's unfortunate", she said slowly, knowing full well who her special someone was. She knew that her liking Claire that way was not something that she should do. She is pretty sure that would be breaking Noah's key rule. A good girl would not fall in love with his precious Claire – bear.

She heard a giggle from next to her and she lit up a small ball of electricity as she sat up so that she could see Claire's face. "That's not funny!" she protested. "I'm sorry", but a grin still was plastered on her face. Elle pouted and Claire placed her hand on her fore arm, "I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you it is just…very true."

Elle raised an eyebrow at the cheerleader, "How could that possibly be true for someone like you…you're perfect". Claire's features softened and she shrugged, "No…I'm not. And you can't help who you love…who you like".

Elle felt queasy, "You like someone and they don't like you back? What's wrong with them?." Claire smiled again, "Nothing.". Elle shook her head, "Well obviously there is something wrong with him" she whispered as she nestled back in to Claire but kept the small ball of electricity simmering so the room had a faint glow. It was a long time before Claire finally answered.

"There's nothing wrongwith her"