Anna stood in front of the bathroom mirror overwhelmed by the fact that she'd inadvertently placed herself into Cordelia Chase's body. 'What was Cordelia doing in bed with Buffy Summers' boyfriend ?' Anna figured she shouldn't be surprised Cordy would go after another girl's boyfriend. She realized she needed to get out of the bathroom and out of Sunnydale. Then there was a knock at the door.
"You okay, Cordy?" Angel asked.
He'd been annoyed to wake up without Cordy in his bed, but then he heard her heartbeat in the bathroom. He was worried because he could hear her heart racing, and he could smell her fear.
"I'm fine," Anna replied and then thought to herself. 'What's his name?'
She realized she couldn't hide in the bathroom forever and stepped outside. He was standing in front of the door with a concerned look on his face.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Angel asked her taking in the distressed look on her face. He figured if she'd had a vision she would have just told him about it.
"Yeah," Anna lied. "I don't even remember it, but it upset me. I think I'll just head home."
She headed towards the door and then Angel said, "It's 4am. Why don't you just stay?"
Anna didn't like the way he was studying her. 'What would Cordelia do?' Anna wondered. Did the invitation to stay mean he was sleeping on the couch or was he expecting sex? Anna found herself feeling curious and terrified all at the same time. Staying wasn't an option.
"I just want to sleep in my own bed," Anna replied.
Angel didn't like how rigid Cordelia was standing by the door. She looked afraid. He walked towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She tensed at his touch, and he frowned. He was worried she was keeping more secrets from him. They had never really talked about what had happened when Cordelia had been in a coma on her birthday. He's been so relieved she was alive that he hadn't been able to stay angry with her for not telling him the visions were killing her. But he realized that he couldn't read Cordelia as well as he thought he could.
"What's wrong?" Angel asked.
"That dream just really upset me," Anna said tearing up and trying not to panic.
Angel caressed her cheek, "Why don't you just stay and get some sleep? I'll be here if you have another nightmare."
Anna found herself feeling more calm. He wasn't after sex. He was just worried about Cordelia. Anna had never really had anyone care about her like that since her mother died. It was nice to have someone be so concerned about her. Angel was relieved to see some of the tension leave her body, but he knew she wasn't telling him everything.
"Okay," Anna said going to sit on Angel's bed. She needed some time to think. "Could you maybe grab me something to eat? I'm feeling hungry."
Angel didn't think he'd seen Cordy get a chance to eat anything that day with how busy they all had been overwhelmed with new clients.
"Okay, the ususal?" Angel asked watching her.
"Yeah," Anna replied wondering what the ususal was.
Anna sat on the bed and took in her surroundings and noticed a baby's cradle. She couldn't believe Buffy's boyfriend had a baby. She walked over to the crib and smiled at the child.
"Any chance you can tell me what your Daddy's name is?" She asked trying hard to find some humor in her situation.
Then Anna thought things over. She was Cordelia Chase. Anna decided that wasn't so bad after all. Anything was better than being Anna Smith. Her father certainly wouldn't be able to find her like this. The spell had an unexpected consequence but still did what Anna needed. She had the way to get away from her father. She could start over completely.
And then a thought struck her. If she was in Cordelia's body then Cordelia must be in her body. Cordelia must be trapped in her house with her father. Anna turned to go towards the door thinking about somehow trying to warn and save Cordelia, but she stopped herself. In the morning, Anna's father would let Cordelia out to take her to school. Anna figured Cordelia could save herself without any help from Anna. Cordelia Chase was strong like Anna wasn't. She knew that Cordelia would try and reverse the spell. Anna wasn't sure if it was possible.
But Anna wasn't sure she could leave Cordelia to her father either. Her father had so many rules that Cordelia knew nothing about. Even Anna who knew those rules never measured up. Cordelia didn't know how to fake being Anna. Her father might not even let Cordelia leave the house to go to school. He'd never believe Cordelia's story that she wasn't Anna. Cordelia was bound to suffer in Anna's house.
But Anna wouldn't go back to her father. She couldn't. Anna shivered because she was certain her father would kill her if she went back home. Slowly over the years that's what he'd been trying to do. Anna didn't want to die. She pushed the thoughts of concern for Cordelia out of her mind.
"She can take care of herself," Anna muttered and then began to cry.
Anna had the terrifying thought that her father would figure out what hat happened and that even in Cordelia's body she wouldn't be safe. Anna felt like a bad end was inevitable. Because of her father she hadn't even had the opportunity to live. She looked at the baby in the crib with envy. Anna was tired of her tears and wiped them away.
Anna thought about that man who was now downstairs making her a meal at 4am just because he was obviously kind. She wondered how long it would take before he figured out she wasn't Cordelia. He was gorgeous, and he obviously cared about Cordelia. They were probably having an affair. The thought of that terrified her, but she was thrilled by it too. Anna was certain this was her last night where her choices were completely her own. When the sun rose, all the complications had to be dealt with, and Anna was certain she would not survive. She still didn't know if she would run away or stay and try save Cordelia. Anna laughed bitterly. How could she save Cordelia when she couldn't even save herself?
"Carpe Diem," Anna muttered to herself.
Anna embraced the fact that she was now Cordelia Chase even if it was just for tonight. She vowed to shed no more tears and just live each moment like it was her last not dwelling on what would happen next.
Angel returned to the room carrying a tray with a food on it . Anna wondered what it would be like to be loved by a man like him. To make love with a man like him. Anna couldn't believe the thoughts going through her mind. Angel studied her closely. He found her standing over Connor's crib with a strange smile on her face. When he'd left the bedroom she seemed so tense and now she was calm.
"Cor?" Angel said placing the tray on the night stand going towards her.
Anna looked at him intensely and then kissed him passionately. Angel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.
Angel stopped kissing her only long enough to ask, "Are you sure?"
Anna nodded, removing her top and smiling in a way she hoped was seductive, "I want you."
Angel kissed her as he laid with her on the bed.
--
Reeling because of the unfamiliar face she saw in the mirror, Cordelia forgot all efforts to use stealth in her escape. She lifted the chair from the desk and threw it at the window. Glass shattered everywhere, but the wooden shutters hadn't budged. She then heard footsteps in the hallway.
"What have you done, Anna!" Cordy could hear a man yell.
Cordy braced herself. She didn't know if a demon or a human were about the enter the room. She only knew she had to save herself. She knew her friends would be looking for her but they'd never find her looking like a stranger. Cordelia had to survive and get to them.
"You can do this, Cordelia," she muttered to herself as the door burst open.
