AfterLife

Chapter 1

----L----

November 26th, 2007

L wandered through the black iron gates, past the yard full of playing, happy children. He watched the cold, wet grass, letting his long bangs shade his face. The sun was shining far too brightly for his black eyes and ominous future. It felt distinctly wrong that the sun was so bright, though he supposed that the feeling was probably natural after his flight. He had spent over fifteen hours in the air with no hint of night, and it was still morning.

It was his last sunny, English morning, though L found it difficult to be interested in his surroundings, as it had been since the last case closed. Even though included in his surroundings were these happy children, the children who would live in a world free of the less-than-divine power that had been Kira….

He listlessly tugged his duffel bag on the ground behind him. There was not much in it. Before, Wammy had always done all of his packing, made all his meals, reserved all his flights…. L had discovered that packing up his own things was depressing. The act had been a lonely one, performed in an empty building. The bag held only a change of clothes, L's only pair of shoes, his laptop, his plush kitten, Light's Death Note, a picture of Wammy's grave. L had discovered that nothing else had been worth bringing from his building in Tokyo.

A few of the youngest children stared, their cheeks and noses pink from the November air, and most of the older ones pretended to ignore him. With their childlike presumption, they were undoubtedly telling the younger ones that to stare was impolite. Even at strangers, which, to many of them, he was.

L began shuffling carefully up the concrete steps to the building's entrance. His bag caught on the bottom step, and he realized that it was time to sling the nylon strap over his hunched shoulder. He descended the stairs to free his bag as a brisk wind coursed through the yard, flattening the patches of tall grass and eliciting squeals from the children.

The yard and the ancient brick building seemed to have avoided all change. It was almost as if the world outside the Wammy's House did not exist. The children laughed, and spun cartwheels on the yellowing grass, their scarves flowing out behind them. They plucked long stems of the graying grass by the handful and ran screaming away from the opposite gender's cooties. They puffed small clouds into the air, through small, smiling lips.

L sighed heavily and turned back to the stairs and the door in front of him. A part of him was surprised that it had not already been opened. Perhaps no one recognized him anymore, though admittedly it would be hard to mistake him for someone else. Or perhaps they were disinclined to invite him in after his failure to keep Wammy from harm….

No, if anything, they were busy. He knew that there were security cameras placed around the orphanage to protect the children, and knew that his presence was being recorded on those cameras. The seeming indifference of the orphanage bothered him, though only slightly. It was hard to find the effort to care, but nonetheless he had to because some of the children here would gain enemies in the future.

Of course, those were only the children that wanted to be like him.

But it had been for those children that he had returned to this place. There was actually several important decisions to be made before he followed Light Yagami. His mind flinched away from the subject, and he looked out of his eyes again, determined not to look inwardly or contemplate all possible meanings of the word "nothing."

L reached out a hand to the doorknob and paused. It was strange, how he felt the urge to knock. The Wammy's House was his home, or at least the closest thing he had to one. Why should he feel like such an outsider? He sighed again and looked down at his bare feet, dirtied by the mud on the edge of the road. It was the story of his life, wasn't it.

He turned the knob and stepped inside. He almost wished he had the strength to play some kind of game, but he truly felt as if all the life in him had already been leached away. Wammy's sudden and unforeseeable death followed by the confrontation during which Light had died unexpectedly had been too much, too soon. The world had been ripped away from him before he had a chance to rip himself from it.

The next morning had been the unexpected confession from Misa and L's decision to convince Soichiro Yagami that the blonde was harmless without her memories of the Death Note. L had then allowed Misa to be free, to grieve with the women of Light's family, believing, like them, that Light had died heroically in the battle against Kira. Sometimes he wished he could be free to believe the same thing.

It was more than all of that, however. It was the entire Kira investigation. He had become too close to the people working for him. He had become attached, however so slightly, and now all of that was going away too. L had only been given the tiniest taste of camaraderie, and before he could fully appreciate what a life like that could offer, it had all been taken away.

L's eyes adjusted quickly to the inner gloom. No one was in the hallway. He turned to the right, his feet automatically moving to take him to his room. He assumed that the children who he had come to see were in classes right now.

And Roger? Perhaps Roger was ignoring him, or busy disciplining a child. Or maybe someone was sick, and Roger was taking care of him or her.

L turned and made his way up the flight of steep stairs. At the first landing was a window, rectangular. The harsh light streaming through it caused L to see the tiny dancing motes near the floor, although he felt disinclined to note anything that was less lethargic than himself. When his bare feet had finally brought him to the third floor, L padded quietly down to the room at the end of the hall.

It was on the left. Of course.

L saw that the tiny scrap of paper he had left in the door frame was still there, a few inches above his stooped shoulder level. At first glance, it appeared as if no one had entered his room during his absence. Then again, it would have been second-nature for many, if not all of the children to have replaced such an obvious check.

L reached his hand out to the keypad by the door and used one slim finger to tap in the code. Sometimes he was not sure why he was so paranoid. The light on the keypad flickered to green, and L knew that his door had unlocked.

He opened the door and was vaguely surprised to see that a fine layer of dust had settled over everything, almost as if he were already dead. L wandered to the center of his room, and checked the bedside clock, which was still glowing a faint red despite the dust. 11:12 AM. That meant that it was already 8:12 in Tokyo. He doubted the Death Note would care that he had changed time zones. Less than four hours.

Dusting was not worth it. L let the duffel bag fall from his shoulder. It hit the floor with a dull clump. The dust billowed from the carpet up in a small puff, in shapes that were oddly like the small breaths of air from the children outside. Yet outside, they were so young and alive….

L stood in the center of his room, his black eyes silently taking in his surroundings. The dust had easily settled again, in this dim and deafeningly quiet room.

It was as if no one lived here….

Lonely.

The bells chimed and his eyes slid closed. Nothing….

A sudden knocking on the door shook him from his near narcoleptic thoughts. L's eyes fluttered open and started widely at the door. Nothing in the room had changed, and L was completely unaware if any time had passed.

He glanced to the clock. His head tilted slightly in amazement. A full half-hour?

The knocking sounded again, seemingly impatient this time.

"L? Are you in there?" It was Mello's voice, and as usual, he sounded angry.

"Yes," L replied, walking to the door. There was a sound like muffled whispers, and a hiss that undoubtedly came from Mello. L opened the door, and the first smile in a long time curved across his lips.

"Children." He nodded in greeting.

Mello had placed Matt between himself and Near, who seemed listless but was probably trying to peer into L's room. Behind them, Orphan was bouncing on the balls of her feet, a gray cat purring contentedly in her arms. They were… just as he had left them.

"L!" Mello yelled, his face turning into a grin. He immediately tried to take the space directly in front of L. Matt smiled at the ground and stepped aside, and L caught a whiff of cigarette smoke from the boy.

"How was Japan?" asked Orphan, trying to make eye contact over Mello's taller figure. Near held out his arms towards L, his expression unchanged.

"I will tell you," L said, stepping back into his room, ready to usher them inside. Matt and Mello perked up suddenly, eager to finally be let inside their mentor's room.

But the dust…. L's eyes suddenly darted around, and he knew he could not let them in, not into his dead room. Not into the room where life was backwards and dust was the precursor to death, and ashes were skipped altogether.

L took his duffel bag from the center of the room, and then quickly stepped forward into the hallway, closing the door behind him, to the disappointment of the children. "We have much to talk about. Let us go to the room above the library." Mello and Matt looked a little put out, and Near remained in the same pose, arms outstretched.

"Okay," Orphan chirped brightly, the first to recover. As she turned towards the stairs, the cat in her arms squirmed and jumped to the floor. "Beowulf!" she moaned after the feline.

Near flashed L a rare smile as the older detective leaned down to give him a quick hug. "Welcome back," the boy whispered. He kept his arms firmly latched onto L's neck, a sign that L was supposed to carry him to wherever it was that they were going.

Mello rolled his eyes pointedly as L turned around and let Near climb onto his back. He hooked his arms underneath Near's tiny, pajama-clad legs, and then looked to Mello.

"Would you please bring my bag for me, Mello?" he asked the blond, who looked both startled and immensely pleased.

"Yeah," he replied, reaching for the gray bag and slinging the strap over his thin shoulders. The five began making their way down the hall, and Mello seemed quite eager to hear any news. "So, L, are you going to tell us about Kira?"

L kept his black eyes straight ahead, and nodded once. Near leaned forward and rested his head on L's shoulder. Mello tried to ignore him, and was largely unsuccessful. L suspected that Near was intentionally antagonizing his rival by staring at him with unblinking eyes.

"Hey, you didn't see any copies of Intelligent License while you were in Japan, did you?" Matt asked quietly, not quite able to keep the tinge of hope from his voice. He was gripping his PSP tightly with a gloved hand.

"Of course not, Matt," Orphan answered. She scooped up Beowulf, and called back as she began tromping down the stairs. "L had way better things to do than look for a game for you." She glanced back up when she reached the landing. "Isn't that right, L?"

L simply allowed a smile to return to his face, and then he looked at the goggled boy. "Sorry, Matt. I either did not have the time, or I was busy thinking of other things."

Matt nodded, and shrugged to say it was not a big deal. "If you had looked, it would have been kinda weird. It's not like you ever go to stores and stuff." A finger switched the PSP on, and L contemplated the truth of Matt's words for a moment.

"What were you thinking about?" Mello asked as L negotiated his way down the stairs with Near on his back.

"The Kira case," L answered, amazed at the extent of the nonchalant tone he had just conjured. Mello held his breath, and he could feel Near tense ever so slightly. "And other important things," L continued, his voice darkening. Those other important things were the decisions that he had made, those last preparations before he said good-bye, and the reason he had returned to the Wammy's House. The important things were… well, they were with him at that moment, asking him questions.

"What was more important than the Kira case?" Orphan asked, moving the gray cat so it rested its front paws on her shoulder.

"He didn't say it was more important, simply that it was important, Orphan," Mello contradicted her sharply. "And?" he asked, turning back to L.

L reached the bottom of the stairs, and turned to the library doors at the end of the hall. "I will tell you once we reach the room," L responded, shifting Near's weight a little higher. Apparently some things had changed since he had last seen the children. Near had grown, albeit not very much.

The five continued in silence, and Orphan let the cat go so she could open the large, wooden doors to the library. Beowulf trotted off to sit on one of the chairs in the room, and began licking his paws.

Matt walked through the door automatically, his arms holding the PSP at his chest, his fingers moving rapidly across the buttons. His feet took him to the staircase at the left, which led up to the small room that only L used, and only for special occasions.

Mello stayed at L's side, and watched him closely. L suspected that he did not want to seem outdone by Near, who occupied a spot that was, at the same time, the most revered and the most reviled.

Near was the only one L had ever carried, after all. But Mello would not want to seem like some kind of burden, either. In fact, that was precisely why L had asked Mello to carry his bag. Because instead of being a burden, Mello would be useful, and because he was being useful to L, he was beating Near at whatever competition his mind made it out to be. And Near simply did not care about competitions.

They continued up the flight of stairs, and L finally let Near off his back once they reached the door at the top. None of the children knew the passcode to enter the room, although L assumed that now was as good a time as any.

"It's 23-16-84," L told them as he punched in the numbers on the keypad. The four stared at him in surprise, and the keypad turned green. Matt quickly shut off his game, and began shooting worried glances to Mello, who was grinning like a cat playing with a mouse. L opened the door and stepped inside, feeling Near's hand grab onto his sleeve as he did so. Orphan followed behind them, with the two 14-year-old boys behind her. Mello closed the door behind him, and then obediently brought L his duffel bag.

The room was rather ordinary, and held only a rectangular table and, haphazardly around it, six chairs. There was an analog clock on the wall, and windows high, horizontal windows on the wall opposite it.

"Sit down," L told them as he hoisted the duffel bag onto the table. They found seats opposite him, except for Near, who perched on the chair to his right. L took a deep breath. "I have very much to tell you, and not very much time," he began, unzipping the bag. He had roughly a little over three hours. "Please listen quietly. I will allow you to ask questions later when I am done going over everything that is important." As he spoke he looked each child in the eye, moving his gaze from one to the other until he found himself looking at Near again.

The room was tense. He knew they were not stupid, and they had undoubtedly picked up on L's strange behavior.

"As I am sure you must be aware, the Kira Investigation has closed. You have heard that Kyousuke Higuchi was Kira, am I correct?" Four heads nodded. "He was the Third Kira." Orphan suppressed a squeak of surprise. Near did not look the least bit impressed, and Matt seemed to be surprised at Mello's calm acceptance of this fact. Good. Near and Mello had already deduced that much on their own. "The First Kira was Light Yagami, who is now dead." L's voice came out strangely hollow, and he swallowed. "The Second Kira is Misa Amane, who now has no memory of ever killing and has no way to kill again." At this, Near blinked, and Mello's forehead wrinkled. Matt was staring at the wood of the table, and Orphan was staring wide-eyed at L.

L took his eyes from the children to search his duffle bag. He retrieved Light's Death Note, and held it by the corner between his thumb and first finger. "This is Kira's weapon." He knew the children were finding it difficult to keep silent. Even Near's mouth hung slightly open. "It is a Death Note: a notebook that once belonged to a death god. There are rules written inside, and you may look at them if you wish. However, you must never write in the Death Note. There is an unwritten rule that those who write in the Death Note can never go to Heaven or Hell and instead become nothing." L took another deep breath, and set the Death Note down. He needed to change the topic, and he needed to change it away from nothing and to something else. Quickly. Before he became overwhelmed by the consequences of his actions, and before he was lost in his own thoughts.

He heard a bell chime, somewhere.

"Now, children," L said, and his eyes refocused on them. Mello looked worried. L wondered if Near was working out what had happened and why L was acting so strange. "I do not know if you know this, but Kira has killed two people who absence will affect your lives."

Mello shot to his feet. "Which Kira did it?!" Apparently, he was already eager for revenge. Mello was prone to reacting prematurely and violently, and would probably plot for revenge even before he knew who Kira's victims were.

"Wammy…" said Orphan quietly, and L realized that it must be obvious by now. And these children were supposed to be great detectives. L never traveled without Wammy, and to arrive alone at the Wammy's House….

L nodded gravely, ignoring Mello's outburst. Mello's skin looked white against his black leather, and the boy sank back into his seat, his eyes wide. L doubted he had expected Kira to strike so close to home.

"Wammy died of a heart attack on November 5th." L reached into his bag again, and this time pulled out the picture of the grave. "If you ever want to visit him, the address is on the back of the photo." He laid the picture on the table, and the three across from him leaned in to get a good view of it.

L looked into the old bag again, and pulled out the change of clothes, as well as the shoes. He set them on the floor, and returned to the bag. There was only his laptop and his black, plush kitten left inside the gray bag.

L felt his brilliant mind stop for a moment. He did not want to tell them. He did not want to tell Near that he would not give him another piggy-back ride. He did not want to tell Matt that he would never be able to stop the boy from hacking into Wammy's main server despite being busy with an investigation. He did not want to tell Mello that he would never take him back to Rome as he had promised during their first and only visit. He did not want to tell Orphan that he would not be there when she made him the customary syrup and strawberry drenched waffles for breakfast the next morning.

L felt his head tilt to one side and he looked down at the two items in the bag. He stared at the gray material forlornly for a long moment.

But he did not even have this time to waste.

"Chil—no, I suppose you are not children anymore." L climbed into a chair and leaned his chin on his knees. He let out a long sigh. "Detectives," he said, using the same tone he had always used to address them, but all of them except Near sat up a little straighter. "I said Kira had two victims," he reiterated.

"The other one is me."

The room erupted into noise and movement. Clearly, this idea did not sit well with anyone.

"No!" yelled Orphan, leaning back in her chair and nearly toppling it.

"But you're not dead!" Mello snarled, standing so suddenly that his chair did fall over.

"What?!" asked Matt loudly as he dodged the arm of Mello's chair. He stood as well.

Near, on the other hand, went completely limp and fell out of his seat.

L did not move, and instead closed his eyes. He supposed that he could take comfort in the fact that people would miss him. But he could only take comfort in that fact for so long…. He shooed his mind away from thoughts of a lonely and eternal nothingness.

"Stop fucking around!" Mello demanded. L opened his eyes to see Mello glaring at him. Ah, denial. He wanted L to take it back, and make it so it never happened. The boy's hands were clenched into fists, and he looked ready to punch.

"Yeah," Matt said, looking away. L watched as the boy gripped his own striped arms tightly. Matt was too afraid to look too closely at L's words.

L looked at Orphan, and her dark brown eyes were filling with tears. She looked straight back at L, and then flung her face into her tanned hands. Her silky hair fluttered as she took shuddering breaths.

Near was still motionless, though L suspected that the boy could still hear him if he spoke.

"In order to prove that Light Yagami was the First Kira, I had to write my name in the Death Note," L explained, glossing over the details. "It is possible to write down a name and then the time when that person will die, making it possible for Kira to kill in advance."

"So…" Mello cut in, his posture relaxing, "you aren't going to die until the time you specified."

"Correct," L said, proud of the boy's quick reasoning.

"Then it's probably not for a very long time, because it would be stupid to write your name down for a few days later," Mello continued, his voice becoming stronger as his look of shock turned to a smirk. "Which also makes you the Fourth Kira, ironically enough, because 'Kira' could probably refer to anyone who has used this notebook."

L smiled, and lifted his head from his knee, nodding to Mello.

"However," came Near's breathy voice from the floor, catching everyone's attention, "if that were truly the case, then the other Kira's would have done the same for themselves, because it would become a way to prolong their lives. Rather than seeing it as the date that they would die, it would be the date until which they would live. If it were truly as simple as you say, Mello, then I am sure that all of the Kiras would still be alive." Near's white hair appeared over the edge of the table as the boy sat up and began climbing slowly back into the chair. His dark eyes peered across the table and rested on L.

Mello turned back to L, his voice tight again. "Well, what's the catch, L?"

"The Death Note can only work 23 days in advance," he told them, and watched as they blinked and slowed, and thought about the information.

"Then…" Mello started, his voice trembling, "how much time do you have left?"

The room went still as Mello's question echoed into silence. Orphan had stopped her crying, and seemed to be holding her breath. Then, from across the English fields, from the small city nearby, came the sound of bells.

"Three hours." L closed his eyes, and counted the tolling of the bells. It was noon at the Wammy's House, and 9:00 PM in Tokyo.

L wondered what it would be like to become nothing….

"L!" yelled Orphan, her voice breaking and penetrating the inner reaches of his mind. "L! Don't leave us!"

L's black eyes snapped open again, and he saw that things in the room had changed. He must have been lost in his thoughts again, because Near was now directly beside him, clinging to his shirt sleeve, and Orphan had collapsed onto the table. Mello, from his position away from the table but with a look of horror directed towards L, had undoubtedly been pacing. Matt was still sitting at his seat, but he seemed to be rubbing the space underneath his goggles furiously.

"I'm sorry," L told them. "It is that sometimes… I do not think anymore." He looked at them, trying to smile. "But there is still more that I must tell you. In light of the recent information, I am sure you know what is coming next." L blinked, and noticed that no one had seemed to be paying attention to his words. "Please come and sit down, Mello. Orphan, I must ask you to stop crying. If you would like to come sit next to me, you may." He looked at Near, and the boy immediately sat on the floor, keeping one are raised so he could hold L's sleeve. Orphan scooted her chair around so she could sit next to L. Once Mello was seated, L began.

"This is about the matter of succession," he said, glancing to Mello and then to Near.

"I don't want to hear about it," Mello said stubbornly. He looked away, and it was obvious then that his blue eyes had tears in them.

"The successor to the title of L will be Mello," L stated, and was suddenly interrupted by a choke of surprise from the blond, "and Matt." Matt almost jumped at the sound of his name.

"Both of us?!" Mello yelled, looking rapidly between himself and Matt. The redhead looked just as confused, if not more so.

"Yes," L confirmed, looking at Mello. "Together, you make a team that comes closest to my own talents and intellect. You also work well together. Therefore it is my wish that the two of you continue to work together, and do so under the name of L. You will, however, have to find a different contact with the outside world, now that Watari has passed away," he explained, emphasizing the public's name for Wammy. "I trust that you will be able to do this, Mello, and that you will lead Matt in your pursuit of justice." Mello swallowed and gave L a resolute nod.

He pulled his computer from the duffel bag, and slid it across the table so it lay in front of Matt. "This is yours. It contains all of my contact, security, and investigatory information. The document on the desktop is a list of the different passwords I use. Please memorize them and then delete the document as soon as possible." Matt slowly, reverently placed his hands on the computer as if it were a gold medal, although L knew that the laptop meant more to Matt than any gold medal could ever hope to mean. He looked across the table to L and nodded a promise to take good care of it.

"Near," L said quietly, turning to face the diminutive boy. "I also have an inheritance for you. You shall be Erald Coil and Danuve. Matt's computer has the details of Danuve's current case. You should begin working on that as soon as possible," he informed the 13-year-old detective.

Near tightened his grip on L's sleeve, but did not say anything. L turned to Orphan, who had laid her cheek on the table. Some of her black hair hung across her face.

"Orphan, you are not going to receive a title, but instead you are going to make one for yourself. You are going to become the world's greatest female detective, so I shall not slight you by giving you a title that belongs to a man." She nodded, her cheek sliding on the smooth wood of the table. L looked to the duffel bag, and brought out the last item.

He held it out to Orphan, who lifted her head from the table. "This is Blackberry Shortcake. She is very, very precious to me, and I need you to promise that you will take very good care of her." L's voice wavered. Blackberry Shortcake was L's first and last possession. Memories of that time, so long ago, drifted back to him as he held the tiny, worn toy towards Orphan.

"Blackberry Shortcake is a special kitten. As long as you have Blackberry Shortcake, I will be with you, too," L told the girl carefully as if reciting the words of a very important lesson. It was the lesson that L had never forgotten, and the reason why L had never left the kitten behind.

But for his next journey, he would be entirely alone.


Well, please review! And don't forget to read and review anja-chan's version of AfterLife (If you just came from there, kudos to you.) Her chapter is a fantastic read.

And for those of you who need this... I'm sorry and here are some tissues. sniffle