I am SO sorry I haven't updated in so long. Uni's been a bitch lately. I had THREE papers due in the last two weeks. Also, I was ill. Then, I got better, so I got back into soccer. Now, I'm ill...again. Thanks, Margaret. So anyway, I felt really bad about the not writing thing, so I just did this...I'm not entirely sure if I like it yet, have some input please. Also, be really thankful, because I should be writing my cognitive psych paper that's due in four days, but no, I'm writing this for you all. Oh my. I think my dorm mate (lunareclipse413) is rather upset with me. Because it's round 1 a.m. and I'm keeping her up...apparently I do this a lot. Well, enjoy.

The Essence of Friendship: Chapter 4

Damage Control

"Em! You totally fucked up the plan!" Lisa cried over the phone.

"I know..." Serena flopped onto her bed and covered her face with her hand. "I know. But he just made me so aggravated..."

"He's Jackarse McGee, what'd you expect?" Luna said. Luna had just gotten back from a dance class and was taking an Epsom salt bath. She and the others were having a multi-way call.

"Yeah, I totally should've seen it coming," she replied. "But that does not stop me from having an overwhelming desire to beat him with a cricket bat."

"Lisa, for the love of all that is good, pick one language and stick with it," Audrey said in exasperation. Lisa had been, up to this point, mumbling in various foreign languages about failed plans and such.

"Well, sor-ry," Lisa said. "So what were we talking about?"

"Beating people with cricket bats," Luna supplied.

This got Lisa's attention. "Oh! May I help?"

"No one's beating anyone with anything," Audrey said.

Serena sat up quickly. "You're kidding, right? If i ever get the chance to beat up Darien--"

"Hold up," Lisa interrupted. "This Darien bloke, is he hot?"

"Unfortunately..." Serena mumbled inaudibly. Yes, he was hot. And yes, it was also very annoying. Stupid person with his stupid looks and his stupidness...

"I don't much care how hot Minnie says he is," Luna said. Serena could hear as the water sloshed in the tub. "He sounds like a right sod to me."

"That reminds me. Why exactly are you taking a bath full of salt?" Lisa asked.

"It reduces the risk of muscle strain," Luna said simply.

Audrey laughed. "You sound like that bloke at the market."

"Oh, my gosh! He was hilarious," Lisa said whilst laughing. "I loved his accent. Where was he from again?"

"Somewhere in India. I can't remember the name, but it was somewhere in India," Audrey replied.

"Oh, I love Indian accents," Luna said excitedly.

"I love Indian men," Audrey laughed.

"Me too," Lisa threw in.

Serena giggled. "Um, Lizzie? You love anything that looks like a man."

The girls collapsed in laughter. Lisa gasped out, "Shut it, you lot. It's not like any of you are the Virgin Mary."

"I'm sorry, but how many lads have you snogged?" Audrey asked still laughing. "Or can't you remember?"

"Umm..." came the reply.

"Exactly," Serena and Luna said in unison. This only served to make them laugh even more. It took more than a few minutes for them to sober up.

"Not to burst the Bubble of Laughter but..." Serena trailed off.

"Oh, right! Revenge..." Lisa said evilly.

"I can just picture you with that creepy little smile on your face," Audrey said. There was a strange sucking noise in the background.

"Um, that noise...what is it?" Serena asked cautiously.

"I think Luna's draining the tub," Audrey said slowly.

"Luna is a very odd child," Lisa said.

"I heard that, and just so you know, I'm sticking my tongue out at you." Lisa snorted. "Anyway, back to business. Did anyone actually see or hear your exchange with Jackarse McGee?"

Serena thought about the day before. It was mid-morning so there was really no one there. Andrew had been in the back doing something unknown. It was just her and Darien.

"No..."

"So there were no witnesses to your impromptu confession?" Luna asked.

"Um, no, why?" Serena was confused now. What did that have to do with revenge? Lisa was too right. Luna was strange.

"Ok, beyond confused now," Lisa cut it.

"Oh, I see what she's getting at," Audrey realized. "That's quite clever, Luna."

"Ok, is it a secret or something and you can't tell me, or are you just being--" Lisa was cut off by Luna.

"If you'll shut it, I'll tell you," Luna replied. "If no one else saw, then you can just pretend that it never happened. No one'll be able to back him up on it."

"It's a right good way mess with his head," Audrey added. "He'll think he's gone barmy."

"Oh, I get it," Serena said, realization finally dawning. "Act normal, convince him its all in his head, make him question his sanity, all the while laughing evilly on the inside."

"Mates, that's brill!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Oh, we know," Audrey replied mock-arrogantly.

"Ugh, mates, I gotta go. I hate maths homework," Luna said.

"Who've you got?" Lisa asked.

"Richly."

"Oh, he's the worst!" Lisa exclaimed. She paused. "I gotta book it, too. Food time. Ciao, bellas."

"Bye." Luna hung up.

"So...what now?" Serena wondered aloud.

"What now? Set our evil genius plan into action, girl," Audrey laughed.

"Oh, yeah! There's that," Serena said.

"May the Force be with you."

"Nerd!"

"Hey! Nerds rule the world. Well, no, that's not true. Really stupid people that talk loudly, so as to make their idiotic ideas sound more appealing, rule the world. But nerds should rule the world."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Ok, what with the not setting the plan into action?"

"I'm working on it."

"Oh, just a reminder, don't screw it up. Or Lisa will kill you. And I really mean that."

"Yeah, I kinda got that. Um, so, I'm gonna go so as to more ably plan and destroy people's psyches and mental statuses."

"You do that. See ya."

Serena sighed and trudged over to her closet. What does one where when making others insane? She threw on some dark skinny jeans that she stuffed into a pair of black riding boots. She tossed on a silky teal colored blouse with balloon sleeves. She checked her hair and her makeup. Relatively acceptable, she decided. She grabbed her purse and put on her coat and scarf. She looked round to see it she was forgetting anything. I'm a university student, duh! Books! She shoved a couple in her bag and grabbed her mobile.

It was windy and overcast outside, making it even colder than it should have been. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and trekked toward the Arcade. Because the Arcade was where the food lived. As soon as she was outside the door she noted that Darien was there. She began to wonder if he actually did anything but sit in there.

"Hey, Andrew," she said brightly as she blew into her hands.

"Hey, Brit, cold one out there."

Serena laughed. "Figures. The one day I forget my gloves." She plopped down on a stool. "You make chips here, Drew?"

"Sure do."

"Then I'll have a big plate of those and some water."

"Coming up."

Serena was busy digging her mobile out of her purse and didn't notice that Darien had come up behind her. "What are you doing?"

Serena jumped. "Geez. What the—why are you in my personal space?" Creepy...get away.

"What are you playing at? Why are you still pretending, Serena?"

Serena frowned deeply. "What the devil are you playing at? Have you gone barmy?"

"Serena—wait, barmy?"

God, he's thick. Serena raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, barmy. Off your rocker, flipped you lid? You know, crazy?"

Darien looked confused and shook his head. "Whatever. The point is, why are you still pretending, Serena?"

"First off who's Serena?"

"Don't play dumb. You know."

"I really don't." She was trying really hard not to laugh.

Darien threw up his hands in exasperation. He was getting miffed. Now we're getting somewhere. "What, did you think I'd forget? I'm not stupid, Serena!"

"Forget what?" Serena said, acting very confused.

"Yesterday!" He shouted. My, my. We certainly are in a right state, aren't we?

"I wasn't even here yesterday," Serena said in defense.

"Yes, you were!" Darien was now right in her face. She fixed him with her best get-out-of-my-face-now-or-I'll-brick-wall-you-into-a-small-enclosed-space glare.

"Whoa, there guys." Andrew had just reappeared with Serena's chips and had seen Darien shouting. "What's the deal?"

"He is insane," Serena said with eyes wide. She stepped back from Darien. "He keeps insisting that I was here yesterday."

"You were!" Darien said loudly.

"And he keeps calling me 'Serena'," she said. This is way too much fun.

"You are!" He said.

She turned to him and said slowly, "No, I'm not. My name is not Serena. It never was and never will be. You must have me confused."

Darien said nothing.

"Thanks for the food, Drew. Sorry, I've got to run." With that she left.

Andrew leaned forward across the counter. "Darien," he said slowly. "What the hell was that?"

"She's lying. She is Serena. I know because she told me so yesterday."

"Are you sure you're not just missing Serena?"

"I'm not," Darien said too quickly. "I know she was in here yesterday."

"Are you sure weren't just imagining things? It happens at times."

"I'm not delusional, Andrew. She was here."

"Really? Because I don't remember seeing her."

"You were in the back or something," Darien said defensively.

"Ok..." Andrew looked skeptical, but returned to work.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, Lizzie. It totally worked. Like a charm. Ring me when you get this message. Later."

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