Chapter 7: The Institution

Story of A Girl


Everyone was downstairs, as Tyler approached, sitting back down in his seat next to Ashleigh, awkwardly quiet.

"Did you hear that?" Caleb asked everyone at once.

"Hear what?" Evelyn asked, looking over at her husband sitting in the wheelchair.

A loud THUMP was heard and everyone looked up towards the ceiling.

"Oh shit!" Yelled Caleb, running up the stairs and into his sisters room. There was Adele, hunched over the bathtub, a razor in one hand and blood in the other. "SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Following close behind him, Evelyn did as she was told. She ran downstairs and called 911.

"My name is Evelyn Danvers, I need an ambulance right away." She yelled into the phone. Dr. Ruiz had run up stairs and was trying to help Caleb with his younger sister.

"Gorman, get Edward out of here and we'll let you know everything as soon as we find out." Gorman nodded his head in agreement and took off, pushing Mr. Danvers as he ran. Everyone, except for the smaller group downstairs, thought Mr. Danvers was dead. Everyone with the exception of Dr. Ruiz. There was no point involving her in any of this.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked Evelyn, concern in her voice.

"A razor…" Evelyn's voice was cracking. Sarah moved closer and hugged her boyfriend's mother as she sobbed into her shoulder. "There's blood everywhere."

Tyler swallowed hard. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He loved Adele. But he could never forgive himself if Adele stayed because of him. She needed to go and get help. And now, she tries to kill herself? All because of him. Tyler felt guilty and responsible.

"What should we do?" Ashleigh turned towards Tyler. "What am I going to do without my best friend?" She started crying. Tyler, unsure of what else to do, pulled Ashleigh into a hug. Ashleigh clung to him and sobbed her heart out. Adele was her best friend and she didn't want to think of her life without her.

"Shh… it'll be okay." He tried to soothe her. Truth is, he had no idea if it would be.

A few minutes later the ambulance and the paramedics arrived. Evelyn showed them upstairs and they ran over towards Adele, still unconscious. "What happened here?" A paramedic, the size of Caleb asked Dr. Ruiz.

"An attempted suicide. We were staging an intervention. I'm a doctor, I looked her over and I don't think she hit an artery. She's unconscious from the blood loss and will probably need a transfusion." Dr. Ruiz stated.

A paramedic had already bandaged her arm and two others were lifting Adele onto a gurney.

Adele's eyes fluttered open and Dr. Ruiz took the opportunity to reassure her new patient. "Everything's going to be okay" she soothed, as Adele's eyes closed back shut. "Let's get her to a hospital and stitched up."

"Let's also stop and get this kid a cheeseburger. It looks like she hasn't eaten in over a week!" Another paramedic joked. Dr. Ruiz shot him a dirty look. If he only knew…

A few hours later…

Adele's eyes opened, slowly. She heard a familiar beeping noise in the background and thought she might have been at Gorman's again. Why would she be at Gorman's though? She looked around and saw that she was not at Gorman's as she had thought. No she was in a hospital, and before she could ask herself why, she remembered everything. The intervention, Tyler, and the razor.

"Hey Del" a voice from the corner came. It was Caleb.

"Hi" she had remembered what had happened with Caleb, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to him or not.

"You've been out for a few hours." He looked as though he'd been up for over three days. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was aloof.

"I guess so." She shrugged. A sharp pain in her arm started up and she looked over and saw that her right arm was bandaged.

Caleb must have seen her face writhe in pain because he told her the doctor's were going to give her pain medication when she woke up.

"You should probably tell someone I woke up." Adele reminded him. She had never felt so much pain in her arm before.

Caleb stood up and did what he was told. He was just glad his sister was okay after all. He was able to get a nurse's attention and she administer Adele a few pills. After a few minutes of silence, the pain medication started working, and Adele started to relax.

"Where is Dr. Ruiz?" Adele asked, curiously.

"She's in the waiting room, with mom, Ashleigh and Tyler."

"Why is Tyler here?" Adele looked over at her bandage. Every time she was going to look at her wrist it was going to remind her of Tyler. She hated that.

"Adele, stop. Just listen to me for a few minutes okay." Adele did as her brother had asked her. She shut up and listened to Caleb tell her how much he loved and didn't want to see her hurt.

Adele rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that because Dr. Ruiz told you to. She probably said 'it's detrimental to her health, you better pretend that you care.'" Adele mimicked Dr. Ruiz's annoyingly chirpy voice.

"Is that what you think? You think that someone's telling me to pretend that I love you?" Caleb was angry. Adele didn't have to look at him to tell that his jaw was set. "Damn it Adele, there is a thing called unconditional love. It's something that brothers and sisters experience even when your little sister is being a pain in the ass."

Adele smiled when he said that. That was true, she could be a pain in the ass.

Caleb took a few seconds to calm himself, remembering what Dr. Ruiz had said about being angry. "You're my little sister and I love you more than you know."

Caleb's voice started to crack. Adele had never seen her brother like this before. Caleb looked up to see his sister staring at him. There was no doubt that Adele was watching him cry. He couldn't hold it in any longer. Adele sat there, in her hospital bed, stunned. Then realization must have hit her, and she cried too. For the first time in her life she knew she had someone that loved her, no matter what size she was, what color her hair was, or how much of an ass she could be. Caleb and Adele were brother and sister. And no one could take that away.

--

"What's taking them so long? Shouldn't she be up by now?" Ashleigh was getting antsy. She had been sitting in the waiting room for over three hours. She wanted to hear of some sort of update about her friend.

"Patience is a virtue" Tyler chuckled. He wasn't sure how he could laugh right now, and he surprised himself by doing it.

"Shut up Simms." Ashleigh teased him. "You're such a bitch sometimes."

"Did you just call me a bitch?" He was slightly amused at Ashleigh's straightforwardness.

Before Ashleigh could answer, Caleb walked out into the waiting room, looking as if he had just finished crying.

"Dr. Ruiz, Adele's up and she said she's ready to go when you are."

Caleb smiled over at Dr. Ruiz who pulled him into a hug. "It's about time you smiled kid." She said and Caleb knew that Adele was going to be in good hands.

--

We pulled up to Dr. Ruiz's office in Boston that night. It was rainy, cold, and windy and I just wanted to get the hell inside. The institution itself was nothing that I had imagined. I imagined something straight out of a movie, with padded walls and people walking around in white uniforms. Instead, it was much more relaxed here. The building itself resembled a large home, and as I walked inside I noted that no one was in a uniform here. It looked cozy, for an institution.

"Let's get you to your room." I was beginning to like Dr. Ruiz. She told me to call her Robbie, short for Roberta, but I wasn't so sure I trusted her enough to do that. She sang along with the radio, on the drive here from Ipswich, horribly too. Oddly, it made me relax.

We walked the length of the hallway and came to a room marked "222."

"Alright girl, here we go." She opened the door and we walked in. The room was half the size of my bedroom back home. It was a standard dorm sized room, with two twin beds pushed up against either side of the wall. Two desks, two closets, and about just enough breathing room for two people. Dr. Ruiz set my suitcase on the empty bed and looked around. "Chloe must be in group therapy right now" she said and looked at her watch. "Go ahead and get yourself situated in your new room and I'll go and get all the paperwork." She closed the door behind her and I looked around my roommates part of the room.

There was a Maroon 5 poster slanted on the wall, next to an Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp poster. "She can't be too bad if she finds them attractive" I said to myself. I looked around her desk and noted that everything was perfectly in its place. There was not one piece of paper out of place. She must be a neat freak.

I walked over to my bed and started to unpack my suitcase. I hadn't brought much of anything, just three different pairs of jeans, two shirts, and a pair of socks. Along with those I brought 12 pairs of panties, 4 bras, 3 different pairs of shoes and all of my make-up and necessities. I'm not sure what I had been thinking, otherwise I would have packed properly. Hopefully I'll be able to talk Dr. Ruiz into letting my brother come up with some extra clothes sometime soon. I missed Caleb, already.

I was almost done unpacking when I head my bedroom door open. In walked a girl, that looked to be around my age and height, with long dark hair that almost looked black and the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. "Hi, I'm Chloe" she said, stretching out her hand. I shook it, and as I looked carefully, I could see a faint scar along her wrist. At least we have something in common.

"I'm Adele" I greeted her back. "I guess we're roomies now" I laughed shyly.

"I guess so. So are you in here for that?" She asked, pointing to my bandaged hand while sitting down, Indian style on her bed.

"Sort of," I didn't meet her gaze. "I've got other issues as well."

"Eating disorder." She guessed correctly.

"How'd you know?" I was surprised. Maybe someone had told her beforehand.

"You're boney." She said it nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders.

I wasn't sure what that meant. Maybe she meant I was too skinny, but as I turned around and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I knew exactly what boney meant. Jesus, I was thin.

"Do you like to read?" Chloe snapped me out of my reverie. She was holding up a book.

"Sure" I said. It was true, but I hadn't read in awhile. At least nothing that wasn't required by the school.

"You should read this. I think you might like it." She threw the book over and it landed on my bed. The Great Gatsby. Maybe I will read it.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I put the book on my desk.

"That's what friends are for right?" She laughed. I looked over at her and smiled. Maybe this was the start of a new friendship?

--

My month with Chloe was a blast. I know it sounds weird, here I'm living in an institution, recovering from an eating disorder and attempted suicide, and I tell you I'm having a blast. But I am. Chloe is an amazing person. She made me feel welcome since the first time I set foot into this place. She really is a wonderful girl.

The first few days I was a bit shy. There aren't too many people here, because Robbie doesn't want us to feel like we're apart of a system. Instead she said she wanted her practice to be welcoming. And I have to say, it worked. There were a total of eight girls living here, myself included. We all were going through some sort of eating disorder and I found that when we all got to talk about it, during group therapy, that I felt more at ease with myself.

A week into my stay Chloe told me that she was fifteen when she ran away from the orphanage. She never knew her parents and she and her younger siblings had been in government orphanages since she could remember. She also told me she had a younger brother and sister, that she can vaguely recall what they looked like because they were adopted when she was only ten. The family that adopted her brother and sister didn't want to adopt Chloe because she was too old. She just recently found out that her brother and sister were living in Kansas and only were just eight and twelve years old.

She ran away because she felt as though she was getting in everyone's way. She was the oldest girl at the orphanage and felt like she was never going to get adopted. She ran away and started living on the streets, where a lady name Janice took her under her wing and showed her how to sell her body. Chloe would then sell her body in exchange for money. Chloe would use that money to rent a cheap hotel room every night. Sometimes she'd skip the hotel room just so she could have enough money to eat. Those night, she slept in the streets.

I felt for Chloe. What she went through, I could never imagine. Sure my mom was an alcoholic, but I always had a place to sleep and food on the table, even if I didn't eat it. Chloe made me realize how lucky I was to have Caleb. If Chloe had a brother like Caleb, she probably would have never been on the streets.

I had started reading the book Chloe gave to me, The Great Gatsby. From the minute I picked it up I couldn't stop reading it. I finished it within a day. I loved the characters F. Scott Fitzgerald created. And weirdly enough, I found similarities between his character Daisy and I. We both needed the satisfaction of others before we'd be happy. And in a weird way, Daisy matured me. At least I think so. I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that I don't like the person I've become. And I want to change. I want to be healthy and I want to lead a normal life. I want to be a better me.

Robbie is another wonderful person. I'm so lucky Caleb had found her. The first few days, Robbie took me under her wing and told me stuff about her I don't know if she had shared with anyone else. Robbie was a specialist in eating disorders because when she was younger, she suffered from one. Her dad died when she was only thirteen years old and her mother had a string of marriages afterwards. One of Robbie's step-fathers, raped her and when Robbie told her mother, her mother didn't believe her. Instead, she shipped Robbie to her grandmother's in Los Angeles. Robbie told me she thinks it might have been the L.A. atmosphere but she felt fat when she would hang out with the other girls there. One of her new friends showed Robbie how to eat and then throw up, and soon that's all Robbie did. It wasn't until her grandmother caught her and took her to the doctor's that Robbie realized she had a problem. It was there that she decided she wanted to become a doctor, to help girls start over, and begin a new life.

So here I am, a few days before Parent's Day, eating dinner guiltlessly and talking with Chloe. To be honest, I don't want to leave this place. Not yet at least. But there's this part of me, in the very pit of my heart, that's aching to see Tyler. I know he doesn't love me the way I love him. But I really miss him. I really do.

"So, what are you going to do for Parent's day?" Chloe asked me, while shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.

I thought for a moment, before I answered her. "I think my mom and brother are going to take us to lunch." I hoped she wasn't offended. I just didn't want to think of Chloe, reading a book alone in our room, while everyone was off with their families.

"Us?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You and me buddy. You and me." I laughed. She was my only confidante in this place, other than Robbie.

"Alright, if you insist." And she resumed the demolition of her dinner plate.

--

"Adele, it's time for your One on One." Melissa, the night secretary greeted me as I took my dinner plate to the kitchen. One on one's were meetings with just you and your doctor. Tonight, I was having my final evaluation with Robbie.

I set my plate into the sink and washed off the remaining food. I put my plate and fork into the dishwasher and washed my hands. I looked down at my right wrist and saw the fading scar, reminding me of Tyler. I dried my hands with a paper towel, threw it away, and walked up to the third floor where Robbie's office was located.

I knocked twice and when I heard a faint "Enter" I walked in and took a seat. Robbie had her head buried in paperwork, her reading glasses were only inches away from slipping off her nose, and her hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed in days. I knew that the final evaluations were hard for all the doctors. Robbie said it was the determining factor in dismissing patients.

"Girl, you have no idea how hard I've been working" she said as she saw me stare at her. I raised an eyebrow and we both laughed. "Alright alright, so I've been going through all the records and documents" she started as she pulled my file from a pile of other files. "And you've gained five pounds, which brings you to 107. For you're height, you're still under the normal BMI range but given you're improvement, I'm going to say that you are in full recovery. Congratulations!" She said as she stood up, leaned over her desk, and pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks" I said, happy about my progress.

"You did this yourself, you know? And although I'm going to miss you terribly, it'll be nice to get your ass out of here." We laughed again.

"I'll be making weekly visits and I've been in contact with your mother, so she'll be watching you very carefully until we think you can handle this on your own." She sounded more like a mother now, than a friend. "You'll be eating all your meals with supervision. You aren't to go to the bathroom alone, and if you throw up just once, your ass if back here. Do you understand?" Robbie, although shorter than me, could definitely scare anyone with the glare she was giving me.

"I understand." I answered, breathing a sigh of relief when her glare turned into a smile.

"Del, you have no idea how proud I am of you."

Tears started to form in my eyes. I really was going to miss this place. Mainly Robbie and Chloe the most.

"Now get the hell out of my office." I loved Robbie. She was amazing and demanding all at the same time. She was everything I wished to be, and more.

--

Parent's Day was here. In just a few short minutes I'd be reunited with my mother, brother, and even Ashleigh too. I couldn't wait to tell them the happy news; Robbie said I was free to go in just a few short days. And although I was delighted to be leaving, I was also a bit sad. Chloe was doing really well too, and she'd be leaving just a few days after my departure. But unlike Chloe, I had a place to go. She only had the orphanage, where she was the only girl of 16. I could see it in her eyes, her beautiful blue orb like eyes. It's hard to explain unless you see it for yourself firsthand. Chloe was doing wonderful and had no one but me to celebrate it with.

"Do you think they'll like me?" Chloe asked me, as we were straightening up our room, rather my side of the room, before my family would be here. There were two sides of the room, Chloe's and mine. Chloe's was in order, mine was not so much.

I didn't hesitate to answer her question. "Of course they will!" I reassured her. A few minutes later a knock came from the door. It was Melissa, the familiar secretary that worked swing shifts. Sometimes she was known as the night secretary, others she was just plain old Melissa.

"Girls, you've got visitors waiting for you downstairs." I smiled at Chloe and grabbed her hand.

"Come on, I can't wait for them to meet you." We rushed past Melissa and down the stairs, and I nearly cried when I saw all three of them standing there. Mom, Caleb, and Ashleigh.

I ran past the other families and jumped into my brother's arms. "Caleb!" I screamed out, I was so happy to see him.

"Calm down Del, calm down" he laughed as he set me down and gave me the biggest hug I've had in quite a while.

"Mom!" I know, how weird is it that I'm actually happy to see my own mother? But truth is, I couldn't be more elated. "I've missed you all so much" I said pulling her into a hug. She looked better, as in sober.

I turned over and gave Ashleigh a once over. She was wearing a letterman jacket and she was oddly quiet. "Ashleigh!" I yelled, once more, as I gave my best friend a hug. I was a little taken aback when Ashleigh didn't respond to me right away. But it's been a month, I told myself, she's probably just getting used to seeing me.

"Mom, Caleb, Ashleigh, I'd like you to meet Chloe, my roommate and best friend" I hadn't caught myself in time, otherwise I wouldn't have said that last part and maybe I would have noticed Ashleigh flinch.

"Hi there Chloe, it's wonderful to meet you." My mom said, as she surprised everyone, and pulled Chloe into a hug. My brother followed my mother's example and awkwardly, Ashleigh did too.

"So where are we going for lunch?" I asked everyone after Chloe and I had showed them around our room and the rest of the institution.

"What's everyone in the mood for?" My brother asked.

"Mexican?" Ashleigh suggested.

"Chinese?" My mom suggested as well.

"How about the Italian restaurant down the street. They've got killer pizza" Robbie added, as she walked into mine and Chloe's room. "Who could turn down some good old fashioned grease wheel?" I knew I liked her for a reason.

--

The six of us, (My mom, Caleb, Ashleigh, Chloe, even Robbie, and I) enjoyed the best pizza I've ever tasted that afternoon. After lunch was over and we made our way back to the institution, Robbie and Chloe left to have their one on one's, so I was able to have some alone time with my family.

Caleb and I caught up, mostly about how his swim meets were going and how he hopes to make it to state. He also mentioned that Chase was acting a bit weird, he didn't go into detail, but when Caleb talked about Chase, I could see that my brother was hiding something. I didn't press him for details, because I wanted this day to be happy and argument free. He also told me that my mom had stopped seeing Mr. Simms, which only made me think of Tyler. So for that part of the conversation, I selectively tuned his voice out and concentrated on the Johnny Depp poster on Chloe's side of the room.

Before everyone left, Ashleigh asked to speak with me alone. Not knowing what she was about to say I was a little nervous. I mean, Ashleigh was never this quiet. Today she had barely spoken a few words.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked her, nervously.

"Not much really. I went to the Fall Ball a few weeks ago." She looked around, avoiding me.

I had been looking forward to going to the Fall Ball, with Tyler. I had a dress picked out and everything. I wonder who he ended up going with? Or maybe he never went at all.

"How was it?" I asked, slightly interested.

"Pretty good, I mean the dance itself was pretty lame, but I had a great time." She perked up a little.

"Who'd you go with?" I wasn't really interested, I just wanted to keep her talking. I missed her so much and today she just wasn't acting like herself.

"Umm, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." She still avoided looking at me.

"Oh" was all I managed to say.

"Yeah, well you see, I didn't plan for it or anything but Tyler was the only one that didn't have a date and well Kate sort of suggested that Tyler take me instead…"

"You went to the Fall Ball with Tyler?" I was a little pissed. Actually, I'm lying. I was extremely pissed.

"Yes." She answered shortly. Why are her answers so short all of a sudden? What is Ashleigh hiding from me?

"Just as friends though, right?"

"That's sort of why I wanted to talk to you alone today, it's sort of the whole reason I came up here to see you."

"Really, so you didn't just come up here to see how I've been doing?" I spat those words out like dirt. I was starting to lose my cool. I needed to take deep breaths.

"Adele, I'm trying here."

I stayed silent, concentrating on my breathing.

"Adele. Tyler and I started out as friends. He was sort of there when everything happened with you and I don't know how it happened, but it just did."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to slap her, I really did. But what would that prove? I've spent an entire month learning about myself here with Chloe and Robbie, and I'd throw that all away over my best friend dating a guy I used to, or maybe still do, like? Slapping Ashleigh, or physically hurting her for that matter, wouldn't change anything. But it didn't mean I would not have liked to give her a little smack in the face.

The fact is, is that Ashleigh and Tyler are together. I can either accept that or not. The mature thing to do, would be to accept it.

Taking the mature route, I told Ashleigh I was okay with it. I really wasn't, I mean, the second everyone left I started sobbing, but if Tyler had to be with anyone in the world, and it couldn't have been me, I'm kind of glad it was her. What am I saying? He should be with me not her!

Luckily Chloe had finished her one on one with Robbie and had come back to our room in the middle of my crying spell. She sat on my bed, holding my had against her shoulder as I poured my heart out to her. And being Chloe, she just sat there and listened to me. Finally, as I had finished up my ranting, Chloe said the wisest thing I've ever heard; Love is out there not to be sought but to be found.

I went to bed that night re-reading The Great Gatsby. I might have mentioned this before, but when I first read this book, I found that I had a lot in common with Daisy. But as I read the book for the second time I couldn't have disagreed with her more. Maybe I was that selfish, pampered, superficial girl I had come here as. Maybe I was the independent, mature, and compassionate girl I had always wanted to be.

As I closed my eyes and fell asleep for the night, I dreamt of the Gatsby and Daisy love affair. This time, Gatsby was played by Tyler, and Daisy was played by Ashleigh.