Chapter 7: Saying Goodbye
BPOV
The end of that school day was like most of the others. I just walked out of last period when the bell told me to and straight to my car.I was generally avoided, as if by law, in the school or anywhere else. Nobody said hi. Nobody stopped to ask "What's wrong Bella." or say "Bella we really miss you." Nothing but silence.
But then Alice walked up to me.
"Yes Alice?" I said.
"Stop doing this to yourself. Please just come back to us! Please Bella!!"
"No."
"What? How can you be like that? How?"
"Like this." and I continued walking to my truck.
"Bella! You can't keep doing this." she was yelling, "It's going to kill you!"
"I'm counting on it." I spoke in a normal voice. I knew she would hear me.
"Edward! Edward stop her! Make her understand!" Alice sounded like she could be crying. Whatever.
"I love you Alice." I said, before stepping into my truck. I drove past the Volvo slowly. Jasper and Emmett were standing around it.
"I love you Jasper. I love you Emmett." I spoke. They nodded, telling me they heard. I would miss those two. They had been like brothers to me. Always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to that wouldn't antagonize me like Alice.
A tear rolled down my cheek. I hadn't cried silently in a while. As I drove down the winding roads of Forks I cried. I did not sob or bawl, just cried. I cried for all the wrong I had done and all the wrong I would do.
I stopped my truck outside of the raggedy old shack and stepped out. Jacob wasn't home. Oh, well.
I walked up to the door and wrote a note on the paper I had brought, in case he wasn't there.
Dear Jacob,
I am going away. I can't be in Forks any longer. I hope you will forgive me for leaving you. I don't know where I am going yet but it won't be here. I will not tell you even when I find out because I don't want to be a burden to you anymore. Please don't try to find me. It will be impossible. I love you Jacob Black.
-Bella
I taped the note to the door and started walking back to my truck.
I was going to hurt so many people by leaving. They would move on though. They would be happy and so would I. Finally I would be happy.
I wasn't going to say goodbye to any of my old human friends. Their memories would fade and they would be perfectly fine. I would be a distant memory that only came up when necessary.
As I was driving back to my house I realized that this was the only way. The only way that the people I loved could be happy again is if I wasn't here in Forks. They would forgive me because it was the only way.
There was so much damage that had been done to me that it was impossible to even think about repair.
I arrived at the house and parked my old beat up truck.
I walked up to the front door and into the house. I needed the phone.
I dialed the number and it rang three times before she answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey mom. I just needed to tell you something." I said.
"Yeah honey. What is it?"
"I love you." then I hung up. Any more of that and I might not have been able to stand it.
There was one last person to say goodbye to and he was gone until tomorrow. A note would be better anyways.
I sat down at the kitchen table and began to write a letter to Charlie.
