Chapter 31
Respect My Opinion! Ganondorf vs. Douchebags!
The battle between Ganondorf and Douchebags was starting. Dedede crawled over to where Meta-Knight is and said to him, "Are you all right?"
"I am fine," MK said to him. "It is my duty to ask you this though."
Ganondorf and Douchebags stared at each other for a while, and then the Gerudo asked, "So… Are you going to come first or what?"
"That's a good question you asked there, hehehe!" Douchebags replied with a smile. "After all, you killed my subordinate, so I have every reason to come charging at you first! Not that I care whether he is dead or not."
"So it's not big deal that you lost a subordinate. Pretty heartless person you are, eh?"
"On the contrary, seeing him die made me happy a little! Not that it's because I never liked him in the first place, mind you. But it is for the reason that seeing people die sparks me with interest and happiness!"
"What's that you said?"
"Whenever someone dies before me eyes, I feel very excited and happy for some reason. It was a feeling that cannot be described by words. Why else do you think there is the word 'fun' in the word' funeral'? When I was young, I always enjoyed teasing other kids and make them cry and bleed! I even laughed at my grandfather's funeral!"
"Uh huh?"
"When I killed my first victim, I looked at my hand which was soaked with blood of my victim; a huge grin appeared on my face. My heart was filled with unexplainable excitement. An excitement so great that I couldn't contain myself… Killing people, seeing people die, torturing people… The voices of people screaming in terror calls out to me are like music to my ears!"
Ganondorf listened on without saying a single word.
"It was too exciting to stop. I couldn't control myself. I continued my killing spree in open public and laughed at the looks of horror on my victims' face and their blood splattering onto me. As I stood among the bloody puddles and dead bodies, I said to myself that this must be what heaven is like!"
"Heaven, huh…" Ganondorf commented.
"Ever since then, there would be news headlines of people found with their bodies gruesomely murdered and disembodied and I made my name all over the news!" Douchebags continued his story. "I felt like myself being a superstar! I was on TV and on news! Everybody in the world knew me! I told myself that I have taken the right path! This is the path I was destined to go!"
"This guy is sick…" Dedede said with disgust.
"Such an uncouth beast… A person like him should never exist!" MK said in an angry tone.
"But then I thought that having all this fun by myself isn't fair. People should be able to realize the happiness and excitement there is in killing! I showed up before the president and proposed for a new law to encourage people to kill. Schools should have lessons about murdering and there should be exams where students kill each other! Killing should be made legal and even an official sport for the Olympics! What joy there would be if the streets are always doused in blood and dead bodies!"
"And then?" Ganondorf asked.
"Naturally, they rejected my idea and arrested me. I fought for my own opinion and truly believed that killing should be made legal."
Ganondorf kept silent for a short while, and then said, "So in summary… You are nothing but a bloodthirsty killer."
"In my opinion, killing people and seeing people die are really wonderful things to do! Too bad none of those dickheads can get this through their thick skulls. Why must killing only be reserved for capital punishments? Why can't it be a hobby, an exercise, or a job? I shared my opinion, but they did not respect my opinion!"
"If I were those people you talked to, I wouldn't agree on your retarded opinion either!" Dedede shouted.
"You are looking for nothing more than an excuse to continue killing people without getting caught yourself!" MK added.
"Okay, now that you're done talking," Ganondorf said to Douchebags, "I also have one opinion that I would like to share to you, and I wish that you would respect it too."
Douchebags squinted his eyes and asked, "What would that be, eh?"
Ganondorf smirked and said, "In my opinion… You should die and burn in hell!"
-
Roy came out from the building and emerged at the inner courtyard somewhere. "Looks like I'm outside…" Roy said. "Where is everybody? And what was that shaking just now?"
"You are here," ROB said, approaching him.
Roy turned to him and said, "Oh, it's you."
"As for the shaking that you mentioned, please gaze upon the sky," ROB told him.
"Huh?" Roy looked at up at the sky with curiosity and was surprised to see the flying fortress there. "Whoa! Where did that come from?!"
"The fortress is installed with flying mechanics. The shaking earlier was due to the fortress taking off. The mastermind is up there, but our comrades are also up there fighting even as we speak."
"That's good to hear. I think we can only leave the rest to them now…"
-
Back at the Final Destination, there were some soldiers interrogating the Smashers there. "This place is supposed to be off limits to everybody! What are you doing here?" the soldier asked them.
"Um… I can explain everything…" Luigi nervously said to them.
"We're not up to anything…" Olimar explained. "Really, we aren't!"
"You look suspicious…" the soldier said.
Luigi turned his head around and saw Parry perched on a cactus and said to him, "Hey! Help me out here! I don't know how to explain to them!"
"Sorry, but I'm just an ordinary parrot who don't know how to talk," Parry told him. "And the others are undergoing refreshment operation after the fight we had just now."
"What are you doing out here? Please give an answer at once," the soldier asked again.
"Really… We're not doing anything suspicious…" Olimar replied nervously.
"Yeah… We're… having picnic here!" Luigi said.
"A picnic?" the soldier said strangely.
"You see… I'm a scientist… And I'm here to learn more about desert animals!" Olimar told them, and he pointed to Luigi. "And he's my assistant!"
"Yeah!" Luigi said. "We're here to look for the… ancient pyramid!"
"In a desert? But that's an archaeologist's job" the soldier replied. "You really are suspicious…"
"Doh…"
-
CLANG!
That was the sound of Ganondorf's trident clashing with Douchebags's axe. The both of them traded powerful blows with each other and neither side seem to be getting the upper hand. Ganondorf and Douchebags both hopped back to their original positions and the Failure suddenly threw his axe at him. Ganondorf quickly held up his trident and jabbed it forward forcefully and knocked the axe back. Douchebags caught the homecoming axe and sprinted at Ganondorf again.
Ganondorf, this time, surged dark energy through his trident and stabbed it forcefully into the ground, unleashing a shockwave that shook up the sand. Douchebags saw this coming and leaped up to avoid the attack and raised his axe over his head as he fell towards Ganondorf. Ganondorf lifted up his trident and they both clashed blades once again and Douchebags hopped back. "Take this! Warlock Blast!" Ganondorf said, holding up his hand to form an energy ball and then hurling it.
"Haha!" Douchebags lifted his axe and slammed it down forcefully and cleaved through the energy ball before running at him again. Ganondorf thrust his trident forward to hit him, but Douchebags strafed to the side and swung his axe horizontally. Ganondorf saw this coming and quickly shifted to the side and avoided the blow.
"Grr! Take this!" Ganondorf thrust his trident again and Douchebags once again blocked it and then the two traded blows several times again.
"How intense…" Dedede commented.
"It is like two ferocious beasts battling each other…" MK added.
As they tried to strike each other, Douchebags said, "Haha! This is fun! I'm enjoying this! It's going to be much more fun if one of us bleeds!"
"If that's so, I'll fulfill your wish!" Ganondorf said. "Hiya!" He caught the axe between the prongs of the trident and twisted it, causing the axe to be flipped away. Douchebags was caught off guard by this and was flipped onto the ground and his axe fell away. Ganondorf used this chance to raise his trident and bring it down towards him.
Douchebags, however, acted smart and tilted his neck to the side and somehow fitted it through the prongs when the trident came forward. Ganondorf lifted up the trident next and swung it wildly in air and finally shook Douchebags off, making him tumble against the sand.
"You're pretty quick and smart to do something like that," Ganondorf commented. "But you should be getting a broken neck that way."
Douchebags got back up and said, "Haha! If I fall so easily, I wouldn't be getting the fourth ranking so easily, would I?"
"True… That's what I am expecting from one of the top four strongest. Just so you know; I am considered to be one of the top four strongest Smashers, so you better be prepared!"
"Haha! I'm more than prepared to kill you!"
Both sides ran at each other again, but when Ganondorf tried to impale him, Douchebags jumped over him and ran to pick up his axe before turning to Ganondorf again. "Now you're dead!" he shouted.
Ganondorf quickly turned and stabbed his trident into the ground and unleashed a shockwave. Because Douchebags was pretty near him when this move was unleashed, he was unable to avoid the shockwave and was blasted by it into the air. "Wha?!"
Ganondorf jumped at him and quickly stabbed him in the body with the trident, and it was a successful hit and Douchebags fell down with a large wound on his body. "Now your wish is granted," Ganondorf said.
"Haha… That's the way things should go," Douchebags said, ignoring the wound. "Now it's time for you to be the one bleeding! I will unleash all my powers just to make that happen!"
"So what are you going to do?"
Douchebags got into a pose and swung his axe around him before holding up into the air with one hand and shouted, "Final Transformation! Asesinato Spree!"
Note: Spanish for 'Killing Spree'.
And then in a burst of smoke, the Failure had transformed into an entirely different being. "What the?!" Dedede gasped.
"What an appearance…" MK commented.
Douchebags now had an appearance of a large centipede, but with spider-like legs and he also had a pair of giant scythe for arms like a praying mantis. "Hahaha! You must be scared to see this already!" he said.
"Bah! Nothing is scary for me!" Ganondorf commented.
"You will be scared after seeing yourself dying!" Douchebags said, and then he swung his scythe arms hard against the air and shot out sword beams.
Ganondorf quickly jumped out of the beams' way, but to his surprise, the beams flew back in a manner like that of a boomerang and he was sliced in the side of his body. "GAH!!!"
"Haha!" Douchebags ran up to Ganondorf and began smacking him with his scythes. Ganondorf tried to ignore his wound and fought back with his trident, but the power of the Failure was tremendous and combined with his weakening power due to the wound inflicted, Ganondorf was having a hard time holding up.
"Damn… Can't keep up like this forever!" he thought.
Douchebags then pulled back and brought down his scythes in the form of an x. "X Marks the Spot!"
An x-shaped beam was shot forward and Ganondorf tried to block it with his weapon, but even though the beam only came in contact with the trident, wounds still appeared on his body and he fell back in pain. "GAH!!!"
"Ha! You're dead!" Douchebags ran forward and slash diagonally with one scythe and Ganondorf was knocked back with a large gash across his chest.
"WUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
"Oh no!!!" Dedede gasped.
"He will not stand at this rate!" MK said.
"Argh… I'll get you for this…" Ganondorf growled as he sat back up.
"You won't have time to get me for this!" Douchebags said as he tossed himself at Ganondorf and swung his scythes again. Ganondorf tried to block the attack again, but the pain was too much to bear and he failed, and thus got slashed another time and sent flying.
"YAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"Hahahaha! I'm going to enjoy cutting you into pieces now!" Douchebags said while laughing manically.
"Argh! That does it!" Ganondorf said angrily, getting back on feet again out of rage. "Level up!" Under his command, his Poseiden Trident (which was the one he's been using the whole time, mind you) floated into the air and with a blinding flash, split into a pair of large blades with fell into his hands perfectly. He was able to do this in time and blocked Douchebags when he dashed forward to slash him.
CLANG!!
"This time I'm playing serious!" Ganondorf said angrily.
"Won't make a difference! You will be sliced into thousands of bloody pieces anyway!" Douchebags said.
The two push against each other for a while before hopping back several steps. Douchebags unleashed a pair of boomerang-shaped beams and Ganondorf crossed his blades together in air to form an en energy ball which he threw forward. Both the projectiles came in contact with each other and exploded in a flash.
"Black Lightning!" Ganondorf pulled back on of the blades and it emitted electricity all around it, and he thrust it forward and a purplish lightning bolt shot forward. Douchebags quickly hold up both his scythes and blocked the attack, but the beam managed to surge through his arms and damaged him somewhat.
"Take this then! Death Spinner!" Douchebags jumped into the air and curled up his body but had his scythe arms sticking out the side. He spun furiously like a wheel and tossed himself at Ganondorf, who jumped away. When he hit the ground, he began rolling like a wheel and turned to go after Ganondorf.
"Whoa!" Ganondorf quickly stepped aside to avoid getting run over, but the rolling Douchebags turned around for another attempt.
"Dark Wave Omega!" Ganondorf placed both the blades side to side and stabbed them into the ground together. When Douchebags was near him, powerful dark energy shot out from below like a geyser and he was blown to the top, but was still rolling like a wheel.
But then the dark energy underneath him began to envelope itself around him, encasing him within liquid-like darkness. This was then followed by an explosion.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!!!
"Whoa! Cool!" Dedede said in awe.
Douchebags fell down from the explosion and crashed onto the sand, and he was badly burned all over. "Still alive? I'll end this right now!" Ganondorf said.
Douchebags looked up at him and said, "Heheheh! I had a lot of fun with you, and I don't plan on ending this anytime soon!"
"You're annoying. I don't have all day to mess with you!"
Douchebags slammed both his scythes into the ground and a pair of shark fin-like waves was sent forward. Ganondorf used both his blades to block the incoming attacks and tried to push them back, but while he was doing this, Douchebags dashed forward and caught him by surprise. Ganondorf received a strong blow and was blown back, and both the shark fins also hit him as he fell back, and he received even more damage.
"OW!!!!"
"Haha! I'm not done with you yet!" Douchebags said as he ran to Ganondorf again.
Ganondorf quickly got up and pulled back his arm, "Warlock Punch!" He threw his fist and it slammed right into Douchebags's face when he got in front of him. You could say that this hit was only a success due of pure luck if you want to.
SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!
The powerful punch had Douchebags flying back into a random pillar situated in the courtyard, and the impact even caused the pillar to fall apart.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!
"Duh… I'm getting bored of this…" Ganondorf grumbled, rubbing his fist. Douchebags then burst back out from the rubble that he was buried underneath. "Man… Don't you have enough yet?!"
"Until one of us falls down dead, it will never be over!" Douchebags said. He shot out some beams that Ganondorf was able to deflect and then ran to him again with his scythes raised. "This time you're dead!" And then energy appeared around his scythes as he ran. "Ultimate Slicer!"
"I'm going to settle this right now!" Ganondorf said with frustration. He placed both the blades side to side and lifted it high into the air and dark energy swirled around it. "Blade of Darkness!" Then the dark energy fully enveloped both the blades and took the form of a gigantic sword which he swung down with full force afterwards, right down on Douchebags as he was approaching.
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Douchebags stopped dead in his track as the fatal blow came down on him, and he fell over.
"Wow! What a move that was just now!" Dedede exclaimed. "Did he do it?"
"The Failure has not undergone spontaneous combustion, so he is still alive," MK said.
Ganondorf brought down his blades, which merged together and became a trident again, and looked at the fallen Failure, who was still breathing and also getting back up slowly. "No… Not over yet… So long as one of us is still breathing… It will not be over…" he said in pain.
"Tsk! You're such a persistent and stubborn donkey!" Ganondorf said.
"I'll show the joy there is in killing and spilling blood!" Douchebags yelled loudly, and he tossed him at Ganondorf all of a sudden. "DIE!!!!!!!"
"You go die first," Ganondorf muttered, and he whipped out his sword and slashed it diagonally across Douchebags's body.
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!
"Gaaaa… So this is how it is to die by sharp things… It feels… so good…" Douchebags thought as he fell backwards. Before he even hit the ground, he exploded.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
"All right! He did it!" Dedede exclaimed.
"The fight is over at last…" MK said.
Ganondorf sheathed his sword and sighed with relief. "Man… That guy was such a pain… Never met anyone like him before."
Dedede and MK ran up to him and Dedede said, "You have made the king proud! I should reward you somehow!"
"Are you all right?" MK asked Ganondorf. "You are badly injured."
"That's nothing. We'll just get doc to patch me up afterwards. I can hold up until then," Ganondorf said.
TO BE CONTINUED
Did all I can to make this fight different and more exciting from the others. Hope it turned out great!
