Chapter Three

After a day of questioning people, they went back to the hotel where they were staying. Always two to a room, Spencer is used to rooming with Morgan on business trips.

"You hungry?" asked Morgan. "I can get us some room service?"

"Sure…fine!" Spencer was wondering if he should call Dan hoping he has calmed down a bit.

"You know what? Why don't we just go out for dinner?"

"Huh?"

"Dinner…you know a meal you have at night? Usually, it consists of more than one person."

"Oh…sure…if you want?"

For some reason, Spencer was confused by this. Did he just get asked out by Morgan…to dinner? Shouldn't he say no? No! Spencer couldn't reject the offer. It was just dinner nothing big. Dan couldn't get angry at that…could he?

"I'll be back. I'm going to see if there any calls."

Morgan nods not bothering to ask him wouldn't have Dan called the cell. He knew he hated this Dan guy! He knew he was hurting Spencer and wasn't sure if he was angry at Dan, at Spencer for not telling him or at himself for not doing anything before to help him! NO! He knew he was angry at Dan.

"Asshole!" he mutters to himself as he heads into the bathroom. As he does, he notices a book on the floor next to Spencer's bed. Morgan recognizes it right away as Spencer's journal. Morgan goes over and opens the table next to Spencer's but couldn't help but leafing through it.

It was an accident. It must have fallen on the floor and he picked it up. Sure, maybe he should have just closed it; but, he already saw one or two words.

I still can't sleep at night. I have these dreams of him still!

I'm not supposed to feel like this…at least not towards him.

So…why do I?

Morgan wondered what he meant. Even though it was his job to analyze people, Spencer always seemed rather different to him--not different as in strange, but different as in unique. Back in high school his friends and he would normally tease the type of person Spencer is. In fact, he was a taunt of bullying himself but no one knows about it.

He continues to read some more.

How can I love him when I'm with Dan? Sure, we're in a rough patch

right now, but Dan can be really sweet as well.

No, I can't love Derek as well. It will complicate things at work,

not to mention he barely acknowledges me as it is.

If he found out not only that I was gay, but that I loved him, I don't know what I'd do!

Morgan felt like a huge ass for treating Spencer the way he did when he first came out. He was supposed to be his friend. He put his journal back quickly as he heard Spencer coming back out.

"Derrick? Everything, ok?"

"Oh, yes! I'll be right out. Did Dan call?"

"No. He must still be busy."

"I'm sorry."

Spencer nods. "Can I ask a question?"

"Sure!"

"How come you changed your mind?"

"Huh?"

"Well, I mean…you haven't talked to me in a long time…why now?"

"Because…I realized I was a jerk. I shouldn't have treated you that way."

Spencer smiles. "You're not a jerk…an ass…maybe?"

"Dinner is on me to help earn your friendship back."

There is no way I can tell him, Spencer thought to himself. I can't let anyone know, they'll hate me! Images of school days flashed through Spencer's mind as he was bullied by kids…taunting him and calling him every nasty name in the book. He can't tell them the truth. He can't tell them how he feels about his own colleague. Morgan must never know!

"Be right out!" Morgan smiles at him and goes into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Spencer sighs to himself. It was, then, his phone rang. "Special Agent Reid…."

"I love when you answer the phone like that…all professional."

"Dan!" Spencer smiles. Dan hardly ever calls him on his cell.

"I'm an ass…. I should have checked things with you first. Dating an FBI agent isn't easy, I guess."

"Yeah…and you're not an ass. I really thought it was Valentine's Day." Spencer couldn't help but shed a tear or two. He was glad Dan wasn't there to see it.

"When you come back…why don't we just take three days by ourselves? We'll go somewhere…maybe to a cabin in the woods? I bet you would look very cute on a bare skin rug."

"Sure…. I'm sure I can work it out with the team. I just don't know how long I'll be here."

"It's OK. You go work…catch those bad guys for me."

"I will. I love you, Dan!"

"You too. I'll call you tomorrow." Dan was never one to say I love you.

Spencer hung up his phone and started to pick up the room a little. He heard the shower running and noticed the door was opened a little. He went over to close it and that's when he noticed him. Spencer watched as his close friend showered. He watched as the water dripped down his body. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, but the rest…the rest was what he was ashamed. As he watched, his penis seemed to stir. He knew this was wrong. He can't believe he was in love with two men at the same time…and one was his partner. No! He couldn't be. It would be to much more to deal with at once and he couldn't take that as well.

The water stops and Spencer quickly leaves shutting the door. Morgan dries off always feeling really good after taking a nice, hot shower. It is also nice to have some company stay with him for a while; however, he could not seem to erase what he saw earlier. Trying to shake off the thought, Morgan toweled off and pulled on a pair of pants and a T-shirt.

Spencer tried to control himself. Come on, Reid! Whatever you are feeling, stop it! It won't happen in your wildest imagination. But, that's just it. Lately, he has been having wild thoughts…strange fantasies filling his mind making it hard for him to concentrate at work. No! Don't…. But, it was too late. Another image began to fill his head with empty promises.

In the bathroom, Morgan sees Spencer catch him and smiles. "I was waiting for you." Spencer smiles back. He waited forever to hear someone say that to him. Morgan opens the shower door and Spencer walks in. The hot water hits him gently and he realizes that he's still fully clothed. A little embarrassed, he blushes. Morgan doesn't care though. He has been waiting for this moment…to be with Spencer since they first met. He takes him into his arms and kisses him deeply. While kissing him, Morgan starts to undress him slowly. At this moment, Reid's excitement turns to fear as Morgan undoes his top button…afraid to expose his small boy like hairless body compared to Morgan's strong built man's body. Again, thoughts of childish pranks came back to haunt him. No! We can't! I can't! He says nervously afraid of what might come after teasing him. I'm sorry!

The image felt so real. Even in his fantasies, Spencer seemed to be the one to back down. Ashamed of his body, he felt tears fall from his eyes as he looks at himself in a mirror. "I'm not good enough," he whispers. However, his whispers weren't quiet enough.

"Spence?"