Revival
A/N:
Chapter 5: Anybody See My Baby?
Sasuke had been cursing for the past two hours while jumping from branch to branch. Naruto, Sai were behind him. Suddenly Naruto detected a rustling in the leafy branches. He turned around to glance at Sai who seemed unfazed. "It's just the kids."
"The what?" Naruto exclaimed, causing the team to stop. Sasuke heaved angrily when he saw Kouji and Nao come out from behind a tree trunk.
"Why in the hell are you here?" Sasuke growled.
"She's part of our team!" Kouji yelled back. "I don't care what you say….we have to get her back."
"You'll just get in the way." Sasuke said and started to continue on his own.
"Go back to the village. No one wants to see you get hurt." Naruto sighed and followed Sasuke.
"Sensei…please?" Nao said, a desperate look in his eyes.
"No." Sai shook his head and left the children behind.
"Damn….this sucks." Kouji kicked at a leaf. "They treat us like babies rather than ninjas."
"Well…they're just looking out for our safety, I guess." Nao said softly.
"Whatever, man." And they both turned around, heading towards Konoha.
Meanwhile, Sai was beside Naruto. "This is probably a trap."
"What?" Naruto said.
"The Akatsuki obviously wants you and taking your daughter was the perfect bait. All of the members are probably waiting and if you go they'll just take you." Sai said.
Naruto nodded solemnly. "What do you propose to do?"
Sai pulled out a syringe tipped with a light blue liquid inside. "Sedate Sasuke. Head back to Konoha and wait for a week. If there is no word, send in a team to rescue her without you or Sasuke present."
Naruto sighed. "I understand."
Sedating Sasuke wasn't going to be easy, Naruto thought.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Mikoto, however, was watching One Ninja to Kill, a popular soap opera, with many of the Akatsuki members. They all crowded together on a lumpy, moth-eaten couch ("being an S-class ninja doesn't pay well," Kisame had said—Kakuzu snorted, "Speak for yourself." ).
"Oh Jasmine!" A character said. "You are the most perfect, popular, beautiful ninja in the world! Let's leave the Dragon Fire Village and defeat the ninjas who killed my father." Dramatic music! Thunderclaps!
Deidara squealed, "I hope those two get together!"
A blonde woman with hugs boobs and lips said in a high, sultry voice, "I agree Mysterious Masked Man…but…but…I can't! My grandmother's pregnant with my younger brother's ex-boyfriend's evil twin's baby! Things are just too…too….overwhelming. I don't know what to do any more." She swooned into the man's arms…more dramatic music.
"Jasmine…." The masked man kissed Jasmine on the lips (Deidara squealed some more) and then with a flash of dramatic lightning, the masked man showed his face, "You see, I am the evil twin!"
GASP!
"Fuck me. That was the best motherfucking episode yet! Damn!" Hidan exclaimed. "I had no fucking clue that that bastard would be that bitching evil twin."
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Deidara screamed. "Jasmine must be the hottest girl on the planet!"
Sasori glared. "No. I disagree. Her arch enemy, Raven Darkwing, is definitely hotter."
"Raven's flat." Deidara stuck his tongue out.
"Jasmine boobs look like they're made out of basketballs." Sasori said curtly.
"Jasmine's boobs are real, damn it!" Deidara screamed and then stomped off.
Mikoto stayed quiet, still wedged between Itachi and Hidan. She didn't realize that the most feared ninjas in the world spent their time watching soap operas. Moments later, Tobi walked in with a tray, "Tobi made strawberry pancakes. Anyone want some?"
"Tobi's a good boy." Zetsu said and then he said in another voice, "But we don't eat pancakes….we eat mancakes…..mwahahaha!" Mikoto curled herself into a little ball, hoping the scary green man wouldn't devour her.
"You used my strawberries?" Kakuzu yelled. "You know how much those cost? I killed two lowlifes to get those strawberries!" Kakuzu stormed out.
"So Tobi guesses you don't want any?" Tobi blinked.
"I'll have one, Tobi." Mikoto said quietly.
"You will? Oh you're Tobi's friend now." Tobi gave her a quick hug and accidently dropped the plate of pancakes that were swimming in syrup right into Itachi's lap.
The room suddenly became very silent. Itachi's red eyes bore into Tobi. Mikoto involuntarily shivered. To everyone's surprise, Itachi used his index finger to get a taste of the syrup and brought it to his lips. "Mmmm…"
"I'm…I'm going to see if Deidara's still sad." Mikoto said getting up. She only needed an excuse to get away from these crazy, psychotic men.
"I wouldn't." Sasori said solemnly. "He's probably playing with his hands."
"And himself." Hidan snorted.
Mikoto sighed and returned to the couch. This was going to be a long week.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Sasuke woke with a jerk in a hospital bed in Konoha, "Where…where am I?" His eyes found Naruto sitting in a chair, "What did you do?"
"We had to abort the mission." Naruto said, bracing himself. Sasuke didn't say anything at first so Naruto continued, "It was definitely a trap to lure you and me. Tsunade will send in another team." Sasuke still remained silent. "We'll get her back, Sasuke. I swear." He pulled Sasuke into a tight hug.
A/N: I didn't mean to make Sasori and Deidara sound straight….I actually love SasoDei…but I'm sure they probably fight about everything—including boobs. Sorry for the length. But hey, I updated. Sigh.
