This took a long time, I sincerely apologize if anyone had been left waiting. Was actually suffering from a block when I wrote this so when I finally recovered from it, I had to change a lot of things I wasn't satisfied with and that is why this took such a long time. Sadly to say though, next chap will probably also take a long time as I'm in the midst of trying to get another fic idea out of my head and concentrate on this one. Anyway, enough of my ramblings, go ahead and read. And also, thanks a lot for all the support.
Chapter 3: Smiles
My wish…
What is my wish?
"Natsuki"
Natsuki blinked, before focusing on the voice which had called her name. It came from Mai, who was seated opposite of her. Mikoto wasn't by her side, but Natsuki didn't bother asking for the whereabouts. She presumed Mai forced her roommate to stay in until her injuries healed.
"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?" Mai asked.
Natsuki looked down. It's true. "Sorry"
Mai too, looked down. She leaned back slightly. "You are thinking about kaichou-san, right?"
It wasn't really a question because Mai already knew she's right. More like a statement that ended with a question mark. Natsuki turned away, admitting wordlessly.
"It's been a week"
Natsuki kept up the silence, sounding only a light grunt to show she was indeed listening. She knew that Mai was just trying to help, trying to say something, anything to ease her mind but the approach was just wrong. She was sure Mai would've noticed it by now. So what it if has been a week? Even if it was a month or a year, there's no telling that things would change. There's no telling that things would get better. There's no telling that Shizuru would remember.
"Natsuki,"
She could hear it in Mai's voice. It had been noticed.
"What did the Director say?"
Natsuki frowned, sighing. "What did the Director say? A lot of things but to get to the point, there is a lot of power involved in mine and Shizuru's resurrection and either of us made a wish."
"A…wish?"
'How sure are you nothing did?'
"Naa, Mai," her voice suddenly frantic. "Did I forget anything?"
"Eh?"
"Have I forgotten anybody? Anything?"
"Wh-What?"
"Have I?"
The look in Natsuki's eyes was almost pleading. Mai smiled reassuringly. "I don't think so."
Natsuki visibly relaxed. "Really?"
"In the first place you don't really have many friends Natsuki, so it's hard to tell. The one who knows you best is well...kaichou-san but...," Mai stopped, not knowing how to continue. She sighed. "I don't see you ignoring anybody who seems to know you, and as for things, I don't really know about you but you remember your mother, First District and all that, right?"
Natsuki nodded. "But you'll tell me if I have right?"
This time Mai nodded. "I'm not like you Natsuki"
At that sentence Natsuki stared at Mai, but not because she didn't understand. It was because she did. She turned away.
"I'm not criticizing you. But, it's just that, what exactly are you planning to do from here? At your request, no one has said a word to her but neither have you. At this rate…," Mai trailed off, staring intently at Natsuki.
Natsuki's brows furrowed. "At this rate what?"
I'm going to end up with nothing?
Mai folded her arms. Her eyes had lit up, as though suddenly realizing something. "Natsuki, strictly speaking, isn't this condition in favor of you?"
Green eyes turned to look at the orange haired girl. "What?"
"You weren't ready for kaichou-san feelings but you treasure her as an important friend. Now, she doesn't remember you so if you start anew with her, then you can remain friends the way you want," Mai explained.
Natsuki swallowed. "The way…I want?"
Was this my wish?
"It's either that, or you tell her the truth. You know if you keep up this stubbornness to do nothing, that's exactly what you'll get. Nothing." Mai said, saw the other stiffen and stood up. "I'm worried about Mikoto. I'm going to go check on her."
Natsuki looked up at Mai, startled by the sudden decision to retreat from the conversation. At least, that was how she saw it. However, she didn't feel the need to say anything.
"Think carefully what you want Natsuki. It doesn't just concern you."
--
'It doesn't just concern you'
She knew that of course. It concerned Shizuru as well. But at this point, Shizuru doesn't even know who she is. So even if it ends with nothing at all, would it matter? It couldn't possibly concern someone who is oblivious to her existence. But yes, it mattered. To her at least. She wasn't blind and she wasn't stupid. Right now, Shizuru is living in a different world. A world that where she wasn't a factor. But her world hasn't changed. Shizuru is still a factor to her. And she couldn't accept the idea of just walking away from everything that their relationship meant to her. Does that mean she had to re-establish contact?
This occurrence, Shizuru losing memories of her, had been something either of them had wished for on a subconscious level. So would it go against Shizuru's wishes if she did indeed re-establish contact between them? Had Shizuru meant for all this to happen? Was cutting her off Shizuru's motive? Did Shizuru think this was the best course of action, burdened by the guilt of the things she had done during the festival? She knew she wouldn't get answers to those questions but it didn't stop her wondering. It seemed the only thing she could do now. Because she hadn't figured out what she wanted to do. Because she hadn't figured out what she wanted.
A band of pressure spread across her stomach, halting her train of thoughts. She looked down, stepping back to see what it was. A yellow line, taped across the width of the corridor. She looked at the yellow line in complete confusion as to what it was doing there before also looking around and realizing where she was. She immediately recognized the corridor. Further down would be the Student Council room. Or whatever that is left of it. She hadn't been back there since that day. She turned around to walk back the other way. She had no idea how she ended up here in the first place. This wasn't where she was headed for. Hell, she didn't know where she was headed for. She was just…walking. Had her body walked all the way here out of habit? It isn't impossible.
She stopped, having taken two steps. She turned and eyed the yellow line once more. She approached and slipped under to the other side. A sudden weight bore down on her chest, but she ignored it and walked down the corridor. This routine felt so natural it almost feels normal. But she knows it isn't. And the biggest noticeable difference was right in front of her. The Student Council room had been deprived of its walls, ceiling and half its floor. Needless to say, the door didn't exist anymore, and slightly on the right of where it should've been is a huge gaping hole on the floor. But despite the damage, she still felt an unnatural comfort at being here. There was only one element left to make this perfect. And that element was the one that changed the most.
She turned into the room, half expecting to see Shizuru there but she knew it wouldn't be so. School had just been re-opened two days ago and both the Student Council and the Executives have been busy handling school affairs from the aftermath of the festival. The Student Council even had a new room already and there was now nothing tying the kaichou to this room. So yes, she knew Shizuru wouldn't be there. But at the back of her mind, she wished. She was surprised to see the desk exactly where it was meant to be. She was even more surprised to see the person sitting behind it, eyes closed, arms folded on the table. The expression the person wore was calm and thoughtful. Natsuki froze, not believing the sight presented in front of her. Here was the Student Council room, damaged and ruined. And there she was, sitting there as though nothing had changed.
Shizuru…
She didn't realize she voiced the name until those eyes opened and turned. Words left her as she stared into those deep bottomless crimson eyes. Those eyes that held no emotion, slowly narrowing to surprise. Somebody blinked, breaking the contact, but she didn't know who. Shizuru pushed back, as though to stand up but remained seated. She could almost see Shizuru smile and call her name. But that must've been her imagination.
"This section has been closed off"
Reality is harsh. And cruel.
"I'm sure you saw the yellow line?"
She knew, she was reminded every night that Shizuru no longer knew who she was. She knew, but she had not prepared for this. The blank look. The almost monotonous voice. The face that didn't smile. She bit her lower lip and stepped back, resisting the urge to just walk away. What would it matter to Shizuru anyway? In those eyes, she must be just another student.
"Ye-Yes. I'm sorry," she muttered, before quickly heading away.
"Wait"
Natsuki stopped. She wanted to pretend she didn't hear it and keep walking but as soon as that voice rang out, her body automatically followed the words like a command. She slowly turned her head to look at Shizuru, now standing.
"Please watch your step," Shizuru said, lips curving upwards.
Natsuki's eyes widened at the smile. It was a real smile, not her imagination but now she actually wished it was. Without replying, she marched away from the room. She didn't break her pace even as she approached the yellow line. She slipped under it and continued in. What finally forced her to stop was the end of the hallway. She turned around. She must've missed the stairs. She relaxed, leaning on the wall. That smile, she had seen it before. But that wasn't the problem. Shizuru had never directed that smile to her before. And for good reason.
Fake smile…
