Okay, this took a lot longer than I expected. It was suppose to be up yesterday or the day before but let's just say that didn't happen. My apologies. And although I worked so long on it, I didn't like the way I ended it. I have an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT to make here. After this chap, I'm putting this story into 3 weeks to a month hiatus because I need time to restructure some of the future events because I added twists. Ahaha, stupid me. Again, my apologies. I might be back before but definitely not after. Anyway, enjoy this chapter and I'll be seeing you soon.
To Jyou my dear friend, let's see if you can figure out what was the twist I added. And question, have you watched Blue Drop yet?
Chapter 4: Fools
Wake up.
She stood up and eyed the chestnut colored hair girl still kneeling on the floor. The other looked around, seemingly oblivious to her presence.
"Shizuru," she heard herself call. The events before their deaths flashed in her head. The kiss she gave the other. The words she said.
The chestnut colored hair girl snapped up at the sound of her name. She turned to look up at the caller, confusion clear in her eyes.
Wake up.
Shizuru stood up slowly and stepped back, creating a distance. She was puzzled.
"Shizuru?" she heard herself call again.
Wake up!
"I'm sorry," an apologetic smile, "but," a pause. "Who are-"
WAKE UP!
Natski's eyes flashed open, staring straight at the dull ceiling above her. Almost like a routine, she took a deep breath before relaxing her tense limbs. How many times had it been already? She pushed herself upright, sweeping her hair back in the process. She'd beaten the dream today. While she realized over time that she couldn't stop the dream from recurring every night, she did find that she forcibly wake herself from it. Perhaps the dram couldn't be helped, but she hated having to relive those three words every night.
She glanced at her clock and marveled at the time it showed. Today it seems the dream struck her a bit later than it usually did. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, heading straight for the bathroom. She knew from every other time she was awaken by the dream that she would never fall back asleep so she didn't bother trying. If anything, it just made her feel lethargic for the rest of the day. She sighed as the bathroom door came to a close. It would be record time today, going to school two hours early. Though she didn't think that she'd ever be late to school living this close to it. Which puzzled her to no end how dorm students could be late. Did they sleep in that extra five turned ten turned fifteen minutes because they knew school is so close? She hadn't a chance to experiment for herself. So far, the dream always woke her well before her alarm clock even had a chance to ring and the dream had been with her since she moved into the dorm.
After the festival's end, she had returned to her apartment, and found it wrecked. The webs from Nao's Child still hung from corner to corner. And she found out the hard way that they still had binding properties. She got stuck five times in an attempt to gauge the full damage to her apartment. Broken windows, broken furniture and web hanging around waiting for her to walk right into them. She could live with that. After clearing her bedroom at least, she spent a few nights there but with the offer of a dorm room poking at her conscience and the miserable state of her apartment, she finally gave in and bunked into the dorms. There was not a single yen she could spend in restoring her apartment after all. It was all channeled to a much more 'noble' reason. Something she truly couldn't live without. Her bike. Riding was a release to her from her troubles and stress. And stress was something constantly around her these days.
She hadn't seen Shizuru since the other day, save occasional glimpses around the school. But she never did seek the older girl out. Seeing how their last encounter went, even though that was accidental, she didn't think anyone could blame her. She was afraid, probably. Afraid to face the change in Shizuru. Afraid of the Shizuru who no longer knew her. Yes, she was running away. She realized that, but it didn't change anything. There was once that she had came upon Shizuru in a hallway, with Suzushiro and Yukino behind her, no doubt running some Student Council chore. At talking distance their eyes had met for the shortest of a moment and then…nothing. Shizuru turned away and kept walking, and she was left to face the stares of the other two. Perhaps that is what she's scared of the most. That there's completely nothing there.
Natsuki closed her room door and locked it. Sliding the key into her pocket she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed out. The cold morning air stopped her in her tracks a while but she quickly collected herself. The sun had yet to rise but there was already more than enough light to see everything clearly. Though even if it was dark, she didn't think she'd have any problems. She was used to lurking around in the dark. Her eyes scanned her immediate surroundings and she noted that there was not a single soul besides her. She grimaced. While she knew she was-very- early, she didn't think there wouldn't be anyone around. Oh, who was she kidding? Which idiot would give up their precious sleep to come to school two hours early? She had to kill time somehow. She considered going riding and while she was at it, grab a bite to eat. The consideration quickly became a decision as there was nothing else she could possibly do and she briskly walked towards her bike's hideout.
She suddenly realized that she was walking pass the church and stopped. She stared at the almost completely repaired building, the hand carrying her bag over her shoulder falling to her side. She gulped, unsure why it transfixed her so. It was then that out of nowhere, memories flooded her and she shut her eyes, blocking them out. After a while, she opened them again, and stared at the church still. Why were these scenes being shown to her again and again? Was there something she missed? Were they telling her something? She steeled herself and took a step towards the church.
"Kuga"
That voice. She turned. "Nao"
"Aren't you up early?"
Natsuki eyed the redhead, standing at a distance, also dressed in the school uniform. She had a I'm-not-really-bothered-what-you-do-I-just-feel-like-mocking-you expression on her face. Natsuki's eyebrow twitched.
"Speak for yourself," Natsuki sneered.
The comment seemed to spark genuine interest in the younger girl. She raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I just got back."
"Just got back? Out all night again?" Natsuki asked, shooting Nao a look.
Nao smirked. "Of course. This," she motioned to the church, "will be my prison once the repairs are finished. I have to enjoy my freedom while I have it."
Natsuki turned back to the church. She had heard the news of Sister taking Nao under her wing. So it was true.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Nao asked, crossing her arms. "The place of your second life really that special to you?"
Her eyebrow twitched again.
Second life?
"Mah, it's not like I know what it feels like anyway. It didn't happen to me," Nao said, who now also looked at the church. But when no reply came from the other, she narrowed her eyes to Natsuki. "You're unusually quiet. Too early in the morning for your brain to function?" Natsuki kept silent still, causing Nao to stare straight at her, slightly annoyed. But noticing Natsuki's fixed gaze at the church, she grinned. "Something troubling you, Kuga?" She brought her hand up to her chin, as though in deep thought. "Ah, could if be Fujino?"
Natsuki's eyebrow twitched and she glared at Nao. "Shut up! That's none of your business!"
Nao only grinned wider. "Strike" She sashayed her way over to Natsuki but kept a comfortable distance. "So the pet is lost without the master?"
"What do you mean?" Natsuki demanded, eyebrows knitting together.
"Why aren't you telling her anything?" Nao asked instead.
She had been ready to retort to any smart comments that the redhead would make but the question completely caught her off guard. She stopped, before looking down. She felt Nao's eyes on her and she took a deep breath before looking up again. "Because this was her wish. Or mine, I don't know."
"Nonsense. Blaming it on those wishes crap. Do you really believe that kid?" Nao asked.
Natsuki looked on, surprised. "Why would she lie?"
Nao sighed. "Whatever it is, both you and Fujino are cowards. I just don't know who the bigger one is," and shot Natsuki a knowing look.
The blue head's brows knitted once again. "This doesn't concern you anyway. Why do you care?"
"Doesn't concern me? Aren't you selfish?" Nao stated, ignoring Natsuki's puzzled looks. "I've always wanted to give Fujino a piece of my mind about all the things she said to me and what she did to mama but, this happens and now you don't exist in her memory. If you don't exist, why were we fighting?" Nao stopped, as if wanting Natsuki to answer. "But on the other hand," she noticed a thin, long branch on the ground and picked it up. "Since you're not going to do anything, you wouldn't mind if I used this situation to my advantage, would you?"
Natsuki fixed her gaze on Nao. She had a bad feeling about this. "What do you mean?"
"I don't even want to try guessing in Fujino's head what was the reason she fought me, but it certainly wasn't you. Taking that into consideration, since it's all over now, she doesn't have a reason to hate me or be wary of me. So, if I offer her an olive branch," she thrust the branch at Natsuki, causing Natsuki to flinch although it didn't touch anything. The grin came to her face again. "She doesn't have a reason to not accept, right?"
Natsuki gulped, staring at the other end of the branch right in front of her face. She looked back at Nao. "Why would you do that?"
Nao retracted the branch with almost amusement, but quickly replaced it with a leer. "I don't know if you're really that dense or you're just trying to annoy me," she said but didn't allow Natsuki to retort. "I despise Fujino but, you're the living proof that knowing Fujino has certain…benefits. We're similar…you said that yourself so surely, Fujino would find me, like you, interesting? Now that I know her orientation, it shouldn't be too difficult for me, don't you think so?"
"Orientation…?" Natsuki found her jaw and knuckles tightening as the meaning sank in. "Nao, you tramp! You wouldn't dare!"
Not intimidated one bit, Nao merely widened that unpleasant smile. "It doesn't take a lot to piss you off, does it? Look at me properly and tell me you really believe that. There are only so many things that I don't dare to do. And pissing you off is not one of them."
"Don't use her to piss me off," Natsukki spat through gritted teeth.
"That's not what I'm trying to do. I just said she's a beneficial connection. I don't know why that pisses you off," Nao said.
"Approaching her for such selfish reasons, you think I'm going to stand back and watch?" Natsuki barked.
"That's what you've been doing all these time anyway," Nao said. "She was a beneficial connection to you too wasn't she? What's our difference?"
"Of course it's different!" Natsuki snapped. "Our friendship didn't start based on such selfish reasons!"
Nao's expression darkened and she whirled away. "Are you stupid or what? All human relations start based on selfish reasons. You should know that! Love too…I love you, I want to be with you forever…isn't that selfish?"
Natsuki blinked, taken aback. She felt all her anger dissipating as Nao glared accusingly at her. "Nao…"
At her name Nao relaxed, looking away once before walking pass Natsuki. "That's enough. I'm going to sleep. Talking to you is making me sick."
Natsuki watched as the redhead passed her to head for the dorms. She didn't stop the action, nor did she have any intention to. Never once had they managed to converse like civilized people and clearly this time suffered the same fate. There was no use in trying to be kind. It would achieve nothing by the end of the day. Taking one last look at the church, she turned and walked the other way.
--
Nao sighed in relief as the dorms came into sight. It's been a long night, and morning too, there was nothing else she wanted than to sleep. School wasn't going to see her face again today, but it's not like she cares. Speaking of caring, why did she even bother to engage in a conversation with that blue haired idiot? It's nothing but a waste of time. It seems that too many all nighters were affecting her badly. Probably time to give it a rest. She heard a noise as she approached the steps and looked up. Another student was exiting the dorms. No, wrong. Not just another student.
If she had to name the most recognizable students in the school, she'd name these three. The seitokaichou, her fukukaichou and the Executive Director. Though only because those three wore different uniforms than everyone else in school. But right now, she was in front of the girl's dormitory, which kicks the fukukaichou out of the list. And while she hadn't seen it for herself, she heard that the Executive Director is filthy rich and lives in a mansion. That leaves the seitokaichou. She didn't think that the kaichou is so poverty stricken to be living in the dorms but considering the dialect in which that woman speaks, she deduced it's probably the distance. Too far away from home.
"And I thought Kuga was the only one stupid enough to get up this early," Nao mumbled to herself, stopping at the base of the steps, staring at Shizuru at the top. "Stupidity is contagious. Who infected who?"
Their eyes met, and Nao unconsciously grounded her legs into the ground. She hid that reaction by quickly thrusting her right hand at Shizuru's face and with it, the branch that she had just noticed moment ago she was still holding. Shizuru was undeterred whatsoever; she merely looked at the branch questioningly.
"Yuuki-san?" Shizuru looked back at Nao. "This is?"
Nao lowered her hand slightly. "Olive branch"
Shizuru's eyes seem to light up in amusement before they resigned themselves to their unreadable selves. A smile pulled at her lips and her hand came up and reached for the branch. Nao grinned.
--
She let the wind gently caress her face as she stood there with her eyes closed, uncaring if anybody was looking at her, uncaring if they wondered what she was doing. It didn't matter as long as she knew what she was doing. Which was what? Pointless stuff, really, standing here. What was she hoping to achieve? She didn't want to give up but was this the best she could do? Walk down memory lane? Memories that only she had? She opened her eyes and stared at the hundreds of flowers that seemingly stared back at her. Flowers that were withering and would die soon. Winter was coming.
She always thought she had a lot of guts. She had done a lot of things that other girls her age would never even dream of. Then why couldn't she do anything about this? She reasoned that because communication was never her forte. Even back then, she was the one who was approached. Approached because she had in mind to kill an innocent flower. And the reason for that action was because she thought it unfair that some things were so simple and others complicated. This flower had everything it needed to survive. It just needed to feed on its surroundings, grow and when the time came, bloom and then, die. A simple, carefree, thought out life. So unlike hers.
Her hand reached out to a single flower. Maybe if she did this, those same events would happen again, like déjà vu. She gulped, focusing her vision only at that single flower. Was she being stupid? Well, she never prided herself a genius either. Her fingers curled around the flower. She took a breath. If anything was going to happen, it should be around now. She felt a presence, and a foreign hand grabbed her wrist before she could react. She froze; her downwards cast eyes catching sight of the beige sleeve and the black skirt.
No way…
"You shouldn't so that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved. Because it's trying its best to bloom during its short life."
Natsuki looked up and was immediately greeted by a pair of crimson eyes.
No way…
"Shizuru," escaped her lips before she could help it. She quickly rammed her mouth shut. Once again, she called Shizuru's name although now, in Shizuru's eyes at least, they are strangers.
Shizuru seemed not to mind, and merely smiled. Genuine, Natsuki noted. She relaxed.
Was it coincidence? Those were the exact same words…
Shizuru released Natsuki's hand and in response Natsuki pulled it back from the flower. Natsuki looked at the flower, its withering petals swayed with the wind, as though showing gratitude for granted life. She lowered her eyes with shame, even though she never meant to crush it. She merely feigned the action because she hoped that 'she' would appear. So that 'she' would stop her. And 'she' did. She had been approached again. Natsuki turned back to Shizuru. 'She' is really here.
"It's not blooming," Natsuki said as she glanced at the flower. Her hand reached out to it cautiously. "It's dying, because winter is coming."
Shizuru widened her smile. "That's true. But would you at least let it die gracefully?"
"Die…gracefully?"
Shizuru turned to the flower, reaching towards it as well. "It's not its time yet" Her finger lightly touched the petal and watching the proceedings, Natsuki felt an urge well up in her chest. She retracted her hand and looked away. Eyeing Natsuki, Shizuru did the same. "Kuga-san, am I right?"
Natsuki's head came up in attention.
Kuga…san? The first time we met…
'Natsuki…that's a nice name'
And now…Kuga-san? You're cruel, Shizuru
"Natsuki"
Shizuru blinked.
Natsuki turned to face Shizuru fully. "Natsuki is fine"
Shizuru smiled. "Natsuki then,"
Natsuki froze as her name passed Shizuru's lips. She hadn't heard that voice say her name for such a long time she didn't realize how much she missed it.
"I suppose I don't have to ask Natsuki to call me my name. Natsuki seems already very familiar with it," Shizuru added.
Natsuki gasped, immediately feeling like she should hit herself with a stick. "I...sorry-"
"Did I ever say I minded it?" Shizuru said, cutting Natsuki off. Natsuki stared, then shook her head. Shizuru looked back at the flower. "What has the flower done to Natsuki that Natsuki wants to kill it?"
"Eh? That-That wasn't what I was doing," Natsuki answered. "It's just…," she looked at Shizuru, "those words that you said to me, someone once said those exact words and…I'm reflecting on them."
"Who is that person?" Shizuru asked.
You
Natsuki shifted her gaze away. "That person…is a frie-"
Friend?
"An important person," Natsuki corrected. "A very important person"
Shizuru kept silent, and Natsuki found herself holding her breath. "Where is that person now?"
"Where?" Natsuki asked, surprised. "Why would you ask where?"
Shizuru swept some of her hair that had made it to her face back behind her ear. "Because if that person is here, Natsuki should be reflecting with that person and not alone."
It made sense.
You are here. I am reflecting with you but, I am reflecting alone…
Natsuki looked away, towards the end of the flower garden. "That person…is somewhere far away. Somewhere…I cannot go."
The silence was comforting but at the same time, excruciating.
"I'm sure," Shizuru paused, "that person will come back."
Natsuki's eyes found their way back to Shizuru. "Why?"
Shizuru smiled, still genuine. "Natsuki is here, wishing for it and waiting for it. That person would be a fool to ignore this."
"A fool?" Natsuki smiled despite herself, looking into Shizuru's eyes. "She is. She's such a baka." Her eyes explored Shizuru's form, and for the first time she noticed that Shizuru's right palm was bandaged. It wasn't there yesterday. She took a step back. "Your hand, what happened?"
Shizuru seemed startled and lifted her injured hand. "Ah, this?" She looked at her hand intently, a sad, almost guilt ridden smile taking over her lips. "I don't know."
Natsuki was puzzled. Both by the smile and the answer. "You…don't know?"
Shizuru looked back at Natsuki, the sad smile quickly being replaced with another. "I'm sorry, please excuse me." She turned to walk away before Natsuki could say anything in return.
Natsuki watched Shizuru's back walking away, not looking back even once. Her hand reached out to stop Shizuru, but then she stopped herself after she realized that she didn't know what to say. Why did Shizuru leave so suddenly? And that sad, guilt ridden smile…what happened? It almost seemed like Shizuru left because she didn't want to answer. But she didn't hold on to that thought. Shizuru was out of view now, and Natsuki resigned herself to being alone once again.
"Baka…"
