Author's Note- See bottom.
Disclaimer- I do not own Harvest Moon, nor the following poem.
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Fall, rain, fall
fall on the earth,
the frozen earth.
Flow, tears,
as the springs well up,
as the stream flows,
as the sea urges,
endlessly,
endlessly,
flow, bitter tears,
out of the ice that's melting,
out of the heart that's thawing,
as the rain falls,
as the stream flows,
flow, tears,
loosen pain,
carry away grief,
cleanse, tears, the dammed up heart,
the frozen heart,
as the rain washes,
as the stream sluices,
as the ocean scours,
the land-
scour, tears, my heart,
my swollen heart.
My tears are fallin with the rain,
my tears are flowing with the stream,
drifting away in the water,
floating away in the stream,
whirling away in the swift river.
My tears are mixing with the sea,
lost forever in the salt sea,
my griefs forever in the salt sea.
Endlessly the sea shall bear them.
Endlessly the sea shall bear them.
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"They're beautiful, aren't they?" I whispered to no one in particular, sighing in grievence, and holding my thin, vanilla colored robe close to my body as the early morning wind whipped my auburn hair around in a frenzied, erratic way.
"I suppose, if you get to keep them," A deep voice sighed to my right. Through the corner of a hazel eye, I studied Skye for a minute- his sleek physique, his wild mane of silver hair...his intolerable bad boy turned good attitude. I had to look away. I wouldn't be able to bare staring in the face the one thing....the only thing I wanted in the world....right after giving it up....giving him up. For what?
Feminist pride.
We were silent for a while. An embarrassed, hurting, depression like silence on my part. I wanted to hold him, hug him, tell him I wanted him. I needed him...so badly. I was crying before I knew it. A silent, praying, I'm falling and no one will be there to catch me this time, cry. I couldn't take it.
Now I was sure he could hear me cry, but he didn't say anything. Nothing. Just stood there. I wouldn't have even been sure if he was still there, if not for his steady, calm breathing.
Steady.Calm.Cool.Collected. Something you're not, something you need. Something he is. My conscience kept screaming.
I got the farm.
I got the money.
I got the kids.
But, guess what? I didn't care anymore.
I wanted him.
. . .
"I'm sorry," I whispered, sobbing, into the darkness, "But it won't work out. I'm sorry. I just...want the kids."
"I understand," He was smiling faintly, ghastly, even in the darkness, I could tell. I could always tell.
. . .
It wasn't the same. I was fixing breakfast, the kids were laughing, joking as children their age did, Nicole was acting goofy, like always, but I felt like I was in a bubble, ostratized from them all. Worst of all, I felt like Skye was getting farther and farther away by the minute. he was right there, in front of me as I slowly chewed on a piece of bacon, pretending to laugh at a lame joke Nicole said, but he seemed to....it was hard to explain, but I was losing him. I was losing him. I couldn't lose him.
"I've....got to go to the bathroom for a moment," I flashed them all a weak smile, amazingly convincing, as I stood up and quickly walked from the room, but I knew a familiar pair of teal eyes were following me.
. . .
"What do you think, Julia? How about in a month? That should give you enough time to pack up and leave with the kids. You have an apartment in the city, after all. The kids'll fit right in. Skye'll be gone, too."
I flashed the lawyer my award winning Noh smile. The smile that he could take however he wanted, the smile that only I knew was desperately sickly, so frightening because it was so weak. So weak without him. How the hell was I going to raise four kids without him? How did he do it without me?
"That's fine."
. . .
I threw up my breakfast into the toilet, then just sat there, just sat there. I had no more tears, but that was only worse.
I don't know how long I sat there, until I heard a knock at the door.
"Julia! Julia?" Nicole's voice was worried, "Are you okay? Do you need me to come in?"
"No, no," My voice was rushed, and rusted, "I'll be out in a moment."
I turned the sink on for effect.
. . .
"Won't it be great, Jules?" Nicole grinned, "Finally! The kids, everything! And no Skye! Just how you wanted it!"
Just how you wanted it. Just how you wanted it. Just how you wanted it.
But I don't want it that way anymore, I wanted to scream, but I stayed silent, simply nodding my head in a convincing manner.
. . .
I brushed my teeth, then splashed my face with water and put some clothes on. I wasn't in the mood for a shower, and, after I was done, I plastered on a fake smile and opened the door.
"Hey, Nicole," Surely she would see through my act, I thought, but she didn't, and only grinned before skipping off back to the breakfast table.
"Mommy!" Hayden looked up from his breakfast, "Are we leaving today? I don't wanna. Daddy's a good daddy, even though we played mean tricks on him."
If I could have cried then, I would have.
. . .
"Hayden, Amy, Alice, Hunter," I smiled, my voice weak and my face pained, "We're leaving in a week."
"Away from Daddy? Daddy's a good daddy!"
My voice cracked.
"You may see him some."
"Yay!"
. . .
I went to the bedroom, one thought on my mind. I wasn't leaving. I would beg him to take me back, pride be damned.
"Skye," I knew when he entered the room. I heard the door click shut, and the shift of him turning towards me, "I can't leave. I'm not leaving. I can't leave you."
Then I was in his arms, and I felt safe, whole.
"Thank god," He murmured, "Thank god. I love you."
And I knew everything would be okay.
. . .
Author's Note- Shitty ending? Yes? No? If you want to, any of you are free to write a sequel on your own. This story will always be my baby though, my first finished! And it only took me (looks up) about 8 months to finish it! I may do some editing, make it pretty later, but for now, it's officially done. I hope ya'll come back to see some more of my stories! I want to thank-
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AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ALERTED ME AND FAVORITED ME AND EVERYTHING! Everything everybody has done means alot! THANK YOU for putting up with me and my dramas and my shit! For one last time (I'm gonna cry)
Hanabi
