Scene 2

Setting: Naraku's evilicious lair

(Naraku is pacing the floor, contemplating how to take over the world. Kagura is sitting on a chair with her legs up on a table, trying to read. Suddenly Naraku has an idea.)

Naraku:

I've got an evil plan/ I need the Shikon Jewel/ To hold it in my hand/ And kill the god damned fool …InuYasha/ To take over the world/ So I can finally rule/ Because I'm evil/

Kagura: Okay, if you're supposed to take over the world and stuff, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Naraku: You just do whatever I tell you to do.

Kagura: (mock thoughtful) hmm…Why don't you sing another verse and I'll tell you what I think about that.

Naraku

I wear a monkey skin/ And don't forget the spines/ My hair is fabulous/ On death occasions I dress fine/ Feel the sting of my blade/ 'Cause it'll make me shine/ And 'cause I'm evil/

Kagura: It isn't because you're evil, you douchebag, it's 'cause you're a fucking whore!

Naraku: You better shut up Kagura, or you'll regret it.

Kagura: Oh, really?

Naraku: I'll put it this way…Do you want to die, Kagura?

Kagura: Actually Natasha, Naruto, whatever the hell your name is, that's not a bad idea.

Naraku: No, I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to tap dance.

Kagura: Not again…

(Naraku starts to tap dance. Kagura, annoyed tries to go back to reading, but Naraku's dance is too distracting.)

Naraku:

Some people say I'm just misunderstood/ That deep down inside I'm really good/ But I know that's a load of bull/

I make your life a living hell/ I have a blast and I do it well/ All because I'm evil/

(Naraku continues to tap dance. Kagura animates some corpses to tap dance along with him.

Naraku: Because I'm evil!

Kagura:

I've got a million things/ That I would rather do/ Than hang around your lair/ And have to listen to you/ I want to run away/ And get the hell away from you/ 'Cause you're an asshole

Naraku: I'm not dealing with this Kagura. Get the hell out of my lair.

Kagura: Fine. (takes out a cell phone, which is so historically inaccurate it's not even funny) Hey Sesshomaru, are we still on for tonight? You want to add something extra? Alright. (closes phone) There. I'm out of your hair for the rest of the evening.

(Kagura leaves)

Naraku: Sometimes I think she doesn't like working for me.