Scene 7
Setting: Hell if I know
(Sesshomaru and Kagura are discussing how to approach the killing of Naraku. If you haven't figured out by now, they're dating, so how concentrated they are on Naraku is up to you.)
Sesshomaru: So Kagura, what you said before about working with my brother…
Kagura: I figured we'd need a distraction.
Sesshomaru: I nominate Jaken.
Kagura: Perfect. Sesshomaru, you are so…
(Rin enters)
Kagura: Hi Rin, what do you want?
Rin: Jaken broke my large, pointy stick
Kagura: Here's a new one.
Rin: Yay! Thank you!
Rin:
I got a stick/ I got a big, pointy stick/ I got a stick/ Look at my pointy stick/
(Rin exits, singing. Kagura watches her as she leaves. When Kagura turns back to face Sesshomaru, he's really close to her.)
Kagura: Why are you so fucking close?
Sesshomaru: So I can do this… (leans in to kiss her)
(InuYasha comes out of nowhere)
InuYasha: (shocked) What the fuck?!
(Kagura and Sesshomaru pull apart)
Sesshomaru: InuYasha?
Kagura: Fuck.
InuYasha: What the hell are you guys doing?
Sesshomaru: Well…
Kagura: We were just… (shoves a Twix bar into her mouth and tells InuYasha everything. He can't understand her at all…on account of there being a Twix bar in her mouth)
InuYasha: What?
Kagura: You heard me the first time, you dumbass, I'm not going to fucking tell you again.
(Rin enters)
Sesshomaru: What now, Rin?
Rin: Jaken broke my pointy stick againnnnnn…(Rin starts to cry)
Sesshomaru: Shit!
(Sesshomaru calms Rin down and gets her to stop crying)
Kagura: Here Rin. (hands Rin a knife) It's called a dagger.
Rin: It's shiney!
Kagura: And it won't break as easy.
Sesshomaru: Go stab InuYasha.
Rin: Okay, Lord Sesshomaru!
(Rin stabs InuYasha in the leg.)
InuYasha: Ow!
(Kagome enters, sees InuYasha being stabbed and stops Rin.)
Kagome: Rin, what are you doing?
Rin: (innocently) Poking InuYasha.
Kagome: Why?
Rin: Lord Sesshomaru told me to.
Kagome: If you want to annoy someone, go give Jaken a peck on the cheek.
Rin: Huh?
Kagome: Kiss him!
Rin: Why would I want to do that?
Kagome: To make him writhe in pain.
(Rin runs over to Jaken and gives him a kiss on the cheek, making him writhe in pain)
Jaken: Make it stop…
Rin: Tee hee…this is fun!
Kagura: (impressed) Wow, you're becoming devious and evil. We should hang out more.
Kagome: Yeah we should. How about you help me study for Biology?
Kagura: Why don't you ask your boyfriend?
Kagome: Boyfriend? What do you mean? InuYasha and I aren't like that! We're just good friends, we're not dating or anything like that!
(Kagura stares at her)
Kagome: Fine, you dragged it out of me. I'm madly in love with him! Are you happy now?
Kagura: Wait, you like him?
Kagome: What?
Kagura: I just guessed.
Sesshomaru: (disgusted) You're in love with InuYasha?
Kagome: Why should I bother keeping my feelings for him inside any longer. I love InuYasha, I always have.
InuYasha: Really?
Kagome: With all my heart.
(they gaze into each other's eyes longingly as dramatic music builds up)
InuYasha:
Kagome, I have to tell you how I've always felt/ You've always been the one I love. Kikyo can burn in hell/
Kagome:
When I look into your eyes everything feels right/ So say that you'll be waiting for me; say you'll hold me tight/
Both:
All these feelings that I've kept inside/ Come to life when I look into your eyes/ Looking at you I know that I can no longer hide/
Kagura:
C'mon get a fucking room you guys/
InuYasha and Kagome:
Sorry that I never said these words before/ And now, standing here I finally see/ Every day I've known you I've grown to love you more and more/ You and I were always meant to be…
Sesshomaru: I think I'm going to puke.
(Sesshomaru leaves.)
Kagura: Way to kill the mood, InuYasha.
InuYasha: Speak for yourself.
(InuYasha and Kagome leave)
(Miroku enters)
Kagura: (mumbling to herself)…stupid fucking Inuyasha...fucking asshole…fucking ruin the fucking moment (to Miroku) Yeah I'm talking to myself, so what?!
Miroku: Nothing. It's just (puts his arm around her) Sango's at a giant boomerang convention right now, so we could…
Kagura: Are you always such a pervert?
Miroku: I was going to say 'think of a plan to kill Naraku'.
Kagura: Oh my God, the monk has a brain! Don't worry; I have the whole plan figured out. I'll go back, (twitch) plead for (twitch) servitude (twitch) or something. Jaken distracts Naraku and we attack him from behind.
Miroku:Well, I had a plan too. (pulls a big whiteboard with plans for a 'mousetrap' contraption type trap he had planned for Naraku.) He picks up a sub sandwich, which triggers…
Kagura: Shut the fuck up! ( puts her hand over his mouth. Pulls it away.) Ew! Monk slime! Where's the hell water? I've got to burn this off!
