Scene 9

Setting: Naraku's evilicious lair

(They are not yet in the evilicious lair, but we're using the same set. Rin is happily playing her Gameboy,as they all go over Kagura's plan.)

Kagome: Rin, you stay here, okay.

Rin: Okay, where's Jaken?

Kagome: He's being the distraction.

Rin: Will he be all right?

Sesshomaru: I don't know. (shrugs) but sacrifices must be made in order to defeat Naraku.

Kagura: That's my Sesshomaru!

(they enter Naraku's evilicious lair and wait in hiding behind a very small rock)

Naraku: What is taking Kagura so long? Sesshomaru can't be that good…

(Kagura slips out from behind the very small rock and approaches Naraku)

Kagura: Sorry I took so long, please don't kill me or crush my heart or whatever.

Naraku: So we're cool now, right.

Kagura: Sure

Naraku: And you'll do whatever I say?

Kagura: Yeah.

Naraku: And I'm not a douchebag?

Kagura: Oh no. You'll always be a giant bag of douche. Just face it, you're a fucking asshole. But I do promise to do whatever you tell me to.

Naraku: Promise?

Kagura: I don't have a fucking choice!

Naraku: Oh yeah…

InuYasha: Can't we just run in and attack him.

Kagome: No.

InuYasha: But I want to kill Naraku now!

Sesshomaru: And I want your sword but you don't see me complaining.

Kagome: Actually, you complain about not getting that sword pretty much every single time we see you, so I wouldn't be talking.

Sesshomaru: Shut up, I have prettier hair than you.

Naraku: So Kagura, You want to here about my new evil plan?

Kagura: No.

Naraku: Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you…

(suddenly Jaken comes in, dancing to the Hamster Dance, Naraku is successfully distracted. As he is distracted, InuYasha jumps out from behind the very small rock and attacks Naraku. There is a big battle between the two.)

Kagome: (fishes around in her backpack) Ah! Here it is! (pulls out an M16 and shoots Naraku dead)

(everyone stares at Kagome)

InuYasha: What the hell just happened?

Sango: Kagome…What is that?

Kagome: This… (brandishes M16) is an M16.

InuYasha: Clarify.

Kagome: It's a gun.

Miroku: It kills people?

Shippo: Duh, monk, look at Naraku.

Kagura: This came from your time?

Kagome: Yeah, but it was pretty hard to get. I'm not allowed to legally discuss it…

Kagura: (to Sesshomaru) We should go to the future.

Sesshomaru: Why?

(Kagura points to M16)

Myoga: I'd advise against that, Kagome.

InuYasha: Where've you been?

Myoga: ummmmmmm….

Myoga:

I'm sorry I ran away/ I really did believe in you/ I'm sorry I ran away/ I knew you guys would make it through/

I wasn't really afraid/ I was just getting coffee/

InuYasha: Shut up (squishes Myoga)

Myoga:

Such is the life of a flea

Miroku: I don't see Kikyo.

Kagome: You're right…

Kagura: …for once.

Kagome: Where is she?

Sango: Who cares?

InuYasha and Miroku: I do!

(Sango slaps Miroku and Kagome tells InuYasha to sit at the same time. InuYasha falls down)

InuYasha and Miroku: Owww…

Shippo: Now that Naraku's dead, what do we do now?

Miroku: Sango, remember in episode 134 or something, you said you'd bear my children when this adventure was done with, will you?

Kagura: (disgusted) What the fuck, Sango, were you drunk? If you really said that… I don't know you anymore.

InuYasha: Kagome… Will you…

Miroku: Bear his children?

Kagome: Yes (near tears)

Kagura: 'Bout fucking time.

Sesshomaru: Kagura.

Kagura: What?

Sesshomaru: Will you…

Miroku: Bear his children?

(Sesshomaru gives Miroku a death glare)

Miroku: What? That's what you were asking, right?

InuYasha: What?!

Kagura: Damn. Well, he was bound to find out eventually. Yeah, sure, Sesshomaru.

Rin: Yay! I have a mommy!

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru, do I have to listen to her too?

Sesshomaru: Yes.

Jaken: I hate my life.

Fin.

P.S. If anyone has any suggestions for a finale song, they will be eagerly accepted and you will receive recognition.

Thanks to Becca Geoppinger and Becky Bradley AKA Bec Squared, additional thanks to Nick Sypniewski, Megan Geoppinger and Louisa Gonzalez, who also had input.