-1A/N - All Alice's POV
Disclaimer-- I own nothing Twilight. BUT maybe you can catch my reference to certain passages in the books…If you can I'll be SOOO happy!!!
…And with that, he walked away, leaving me staring after him…box in hand, a dazed look on my face. Curiosity killing me, I opened the box, and fresh sobs hit me as my heart shattered when I saw what was inside.
Chapter Two
Finding Myself
I wasn't speaking to anyone. My heart had shattered, and I had truly lost the one thing in my life that shined. Hope was gone for me, and I wanted to spend my last week before classes started drowning in my own pity.
Bella was kind, and offered me what comfort she could. My brother was furious, and had declared a price on Jasper's head. But I knew it would mean nothing. They were best friends, and although Emmett may be upset, he knew Jasper would never intentionally destroy me.
I lay on my bed, facing the wall…it's dingy white color reminding me of an asylum. I was in my own personal asylum. My own personal hell. A yearbook from my junior year lay open next to me, momentarily forgotten, it's pictures blurred by my tears.
Page fifty four, senior memories from Jasper's graduating class. His read:
"Finally over, four years! Seniors!! To all my friends, I'll miss you. And to Alice…my precious Alice. I remember meeting you. You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time…I felt hope. I love you, my little Pixie."
I had been his. Jasper's little Pixie. His life, his love, his. And now…I was nothing. I was a black spot in his past, something he was probably trying to forget about.
I sat up and threw the yearbook against the wall with a frustrated scream. Bella jumped from where she had been reading on her bed. "Jesus! Alice…are you okay?"
I jumped off the bed, my hands balled into fists. "NO! I'm not. I'm confused, I'm sad, I'm tired, I'm frustrated…and damn it…I'm hungry!"
Bella smiled quietly and handed me a candy bar. "Dark chocolate, your favorite."
Thanking her, I sat down on my bed, quietly munching on the rich candy. She watched me closely, her brown eyes concerned. She was so beautiful, even if she didn't realize it. I was suddenly jealous of her. She had Edward…I had no one. But she had become a good friend of mine. A shield to the outside world. I had no right to be jealous.
Bella glanced at the box on my desk. The delicate black box, which had turned my world upside down. I hadn't opened it since…although Emmett had. Bella took a deep breath. "Don't mean to sound nosy…but what are your plans with that?"
She didn't refer to it by it's proper noun. And I was grateful. I shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. What do you suggest?"
Bella looked relieved that I was taking the topic well enough. Her next words were careful. "Honestly? I think you need to do some serious soul searching before you make a decision. Rosalie said Jasper is in a wicked mood. He hasn't spoken to anyone, he barely eats, and he looks like death warmed over. His depression is getting severe." I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to know he was suffering as much as me. He didn't deserve the suffering I had caused.
I sighed. "It was my fault you know…" Bella's expression was instantly cautious. I held up my hand. "I turned him away because I grew jealous. I didn't take into account the fact that college had changed him…but his love for me had only grown stronger." A tear rolled down my cheek. "Bella? Have I lost him forever?"
She came over and hugged me, trying to ebb the inevitable flow of tears which had become such a common routine for me these past few days. "Oh, Alice…I don't think so. Your love goes deeper than that. Somehow, you'll find a way to make this all better. I'm sure of it."
I nodded and wiped my eyes dry. If I was going to make this work my way, then I had to start living again. That meant a shower, food, makeup…and maybe some therapeutic shopping. Bella had once again come through for me.
For the first time, a genuine smile crossed my lips. "Thank you, Bella. For everything."
Bella blushed, turning a scarlet shade. "Don't mention it." We hugged and I danced my way to the shower…formulating a plan on winning Jasper back.
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By the time I got out of the shower, my mind was clear, and I had an idea of what I was going to do. Dressing in my jeans and a forest green (Jasper's favorite color) shirt, I phoned the nearest floral store.
A woman on the other side answered. "Victoria's Flowers, how can I help you?"
Taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage. "Hi. I have an order to place, do you deliver?"
The woman answered quickly. "Oh yes. Almost anywhere. We're the nomadic flowershop, no distance is too far." She laughed at her own joke. Catchy…
I grinned. "Well…do I have an order for you."
Ten minutes later, business done, my credit card number given, I set out to start phase two. Grabbing the box off of my desk, I opened it, and mentally prepared myself. The diamonds twinkled at me, daring me to cry…as I had done when I had first seen then. And the massive ruby in the center shined brilliantly. But I rallied against it. This ring…Jasper had it right. It was everything I ever would have wanted…brilliance, shine, class…perfect. I slipped it back into the box, gently placing it in my purse.
Bella raised an eyebrow. "You know what you're doing?"
I grinned. "Finding myself."
