Giggle
She had let nine days pass after Garfield agreed to 'talk' to her about himself, and even though she would have preferred to talk with him sooner she had several good reasons for the delay.
For one she wanted him to relax his defences, since it was obvious he would be prepared to defend himself in their discussion, despite his agreement, out of instinct. So if she had been able she would have approached him the next day, however, she needed to rest after the events in Nevermore and thus giving him time to prepare himself was unavoidable. So as she had healed herself in a self induced coma state she had discussed with Wisdom and Knowledge on how to proceed. The first conclusion was that Garfield's efforts to defend himself would be too great immediately after she awakened so she allowed him time in order for him to become less alert of her approach.
She also used the time to give Affection an earful about how it was all the emotion's fault that she had fallen in love, again. Not only that but with Garfield, the same boy that still could drive her round the bend with complete ease! Still after several hours of arguing and eventual mutiny by the most of her emotions to protect Affection from her wrath, even Rage acted to stop her which to her was a complete oxymoron, she accepted her feelings towards the changeling. Truthfully she had accepted it as she spoke to Garfield in the vault, but she wanted Affection to pay for making her this vulnerable again. She trusted him and was secretly happy that Affection picked (sort of) wisely this time, she was happy to trust Garfield with her heart, secretly of course. As in the sense she bargained with Happy to stay silent about why the pink clad girl was more hyperactive and giggly than usual, a lot of hours play would be needed to be paid.
A much bigger reason though was Starfire, she had often sensed the alien princess pass by her room several times as she had healed herself from Nevermore. Not to mention the many, "Friend Raven, is your healing now complete? I wish to have the talk of girls with you?" that often broke the peaceful silence of Nevermore, as well as interrupt her council with her emotions. She had been desperate to avoid Starfire so much so that she had prolonged her healing process to take two full days, despite the fact it would make her the hypocrite when considering how she was giving Garfield no real chance to evade her questioning. However, in the end she had given up to have her herbal tea; granted her state made it unnecessary for her to drink or eat but going without her tea had been a serious test.
At this crucial point of admission to an addiction to herbal aromas and flavours these events occurred:
(A/N: This is to avoid having to use italics for a flashback, or use the word 'had' over and over and over…. Well, just so I don't use it as much, seriously check chap 1; it's ridiculous.)
She made it to the kitchen area of the common room without encountering the often hyperactive alien, but the instant she'd opened the tea leaf box she felt Starfire's presence behind her, it was as if the princess somehow teleported there. Sensing this sudden event shocked her considerably, enough to make her jump in fright causing her to knock her preferred cup to the floor, upon contact it smashed into . She wasn't angered and didn't need or want an apology but was surprised when Starfire did not instantly offer one, or even speak, as was per the usual. Then again, what she could sense from the woman behind her was not the usual, causing her to turn and face Starfire to see a sight she personally had never received.
Starfire was angry but not the usual anger caused by general outrage, which often took the form of a yell or roar at either Garfield or Victor for one of their pranks or any other woman who flirted with the dear 'lover Robin'. Starfire's anger was not a simple outburst; it was focused and calm hatred, nowhere near the level Blackfire received from the princess but still. It was almost on par with the glare and anger she often gave Garfield for bothering her with his bad jokes, yet for Starfire it was almost unprecedented and it hurt her to have the woman she saw as a sister look at her like that. Despite her experience and success in glaring matches she broke quickly under the usually happy eyes of her friend, "Why are you looking at me like that Starfire?" Her voice timid and weak and her eyes diverted to the floor, even she was not immune to the Tameranean's anger.
"You have deliberately avoided me, friend Raven. This included prolonging your healing process, did it not?" was the angry reply, to which her response was a simple nod, "After I stated numerous times that I wished to talk with you, but this is not why I am angry with you, friend Raven." Again she nodded her head, she knew Starfire's reason was not selfish, but she didn't have the slightest idea at what enraged her friend. "Friend Beast Boy has been most upset these past two days and has barely left his own room. He did not even accept friend Cyborg's challenge to the running of a game marathon." Those words made her lift her head to face the green eyes of the princess, despite the ill verb that still on occasion entered her friend's speech.
"What?" her distress was evident in her voice, it didn't surprise her, Starfire only continued to glare at her with crossed arms, "I'm sorry, Starfire, his room is sealed from my empathy I didn't know it was upsetting him." What she said was truth but it did little to soften the alien's stare.
"How could you not know?" Starfire snapped, causing her serious confusion as well as discomfort, "You were recovering after a battle with him. Is it not obvious that he is worried by the thought he may have seriously hurt you? Not to forget he has always been upset whenever you sustain an injury." Starfire paused at this moment to study her reactions, and she had to admit that now she was under someone else's scrutiny, she did not enjoy it. "If you did not wish to speak to me about your relationship," she had to fight the urge to wince at that term, "with friend Beast Boy you simply had to tell me so, but your actions are comparable to that of a rotten Varblamek. Your tactics to evade me have hurt friend Beast Boy feelings and you mu-," Starfire continued to scold until realising just how much she was affected by the words. At which the alien's voice became soft and worried, "Friend Raven?"
Her eyes had returned to facing the floor, her mouth sealed shut as to try preventing her lip from quivering and she knew that her hood was casting a darker shadow than it often did. Starfire's words had made her realise and face a horrible truth; she had been selfish and in her childish ignorance whilst she had planned how best to help Garfield be happy she been ignorant to his feelings, as well as the others'. How could she have been so stupid!? The others' feelings, especially Garfield's, were more important to her than her privacy, yes, she prized it highly but not above her friends. How could she have not considered such a blatant possibility? Granted staying in his room was something she had expected but she had never considered his feelings about his fight with Rage, it hadn't even occurred to her to account for how he felt about talking to her, how could she be so selfish and inconsiderate? It took all her will to only let one tear escape her eye. "I'm sorry, Starfire, but there is another reason for Garfield's silence and it means that I cannot apologize to him about this."
"Then please explain this reason to me," Starfire had evidently picked up on how strong her resolve was to uphold this statement, the voice that met her ears was now caring and sisterly, "but I ask that you face me as you do so." She complied with the request, granted her eyes were still sad but her gaze was strong and she refused to let it faulter as she locked stares again with Starfire.
"During his entire time with us he has never shared his true feelings with any of us, including Victor," Starfire eyes widened at hearing this, Garfield's mask had evidently fooled the innocent alien to some extent, "Even though I am an empath he has hidden himself from me extremely well; he's suppressed his emotions to prevent us from seeing what burdens he has on his heart, he has even gone as far to have his room sealed from my powers as I mentioned. He seems to have two reasons for this; the first is that he does not wish to harm our feelings with those burdens and that sharing his burdens with such consequences would make him weak, as he puts it. The second…" she trailed off at the thought of the idea that Garfield thought they would hate him for the burdens he carried.
"Are you saying that friend Beast Boy has always acted as you did while hiding your past?" Starfire had let irritation re enter her voice, yet now it wasn't directed at her, she nodded her reply. "That foolish Zargnarfe!" After this yell Starfire turned as if to head toward door to the bedroom corridor, this surprised her somewhat since the alien seemed to be fuming, rather than upset as had been the reaction to learning her secrets. Maybe it was because she had made no secret of her burdens, she had refused to share them but she had never lied about her state of mind. However, if Starfire intervened it would ruin any chance she had of helping Garfield; she could not and would not allow this.
"Wait!" was unanimous shout from Nevermore and her own mouth, as she teleported herself to block the Tameranean's path, and it was Starfire's turn to be shocked. It wasn't often she openly protected Garfield from what he deserved and what he did deserve was good earful about stupid he was for thinking they would hate him, but she wanted to help him. She wanted to be the person to help him, it was selfish but she didn't care, she loved him as more than family and she… "Starfire, please, let me deal with Garfield. He has agreed to show me his feelings and that is his other reason for him staying in his room, and it is why I cannot apologize. He's trying to prepare himself so that he can hide as much as possible as well as accept what I make him tell me, I've also used this time to plan when and how it is best to approach him," Starfire's expression seemed to be evolving through different states of surprise from shock to simple confusion, and somehow her voice remained monotone with only a few threats of cracking, "If I apologize I will appear weak in my resolve to help him and if you scold him now he will refuse to trust me since I have already told you more than I should have, and I… I want him to… trust me." The final words were a quiet admission as she had been unable to stop herself due to the momentum she had gained while speaking, even though she had realised what she was going to say. However, Starfire heard each word loud and clear and the knowing smile that crept onto the alien's lips was less than comforting.
"Very well, friend Raven," was the satisfied reply, "I will not confront friend Beast Boy about his lies and foolishness," the choice of words intrigued her, she could definitely sense that Starfire was bitter over the fact that Garfield had been hiding his pain for so long, "You have also convinced me that it is best that you do not apologize to friend Beast Boy for hurting his feelings in ignorance, but," Starfire's eyes, voice and emotions now conveyed a strong resolve that was not often present in the princess' demeanour, "I ask that you be more considerate about the ones you love even when your goal is to help them. Also…" the smile became even more unnerving, "we will have to have the talk of girls soon. Heehe."
With that little giggle the issue had been closed and she had saved herself from having to reveal her new feelings for Garfield, vocally at least, and Starfire had not bothered her since, but she had to admit she was grateful for Starfire's words. After their conversation she told Garfield she was okay, and he had expressed evident relief, proving Starfire's deductions correct. She did not, however, mention the 'talk', she merely went back to her normal routine while devising the rest of her plans carefully in her head and, literally so, during meditation. This was in the hope that he would allow himself to relax his fears of her questioning him.
Over the week from then till the current moment she had perfected her plan, or 'scheme' as Rude called it, she decided her topic; his gloves, they had already been mentioned and she was more than curious about what Garfield hid from himself as well as others. Also she had come up with a system of compromise so as to give him something to show how much she trusted him as well as to earn his, and to make the situation fair for both of them.
The final reason for the time taken to execute her plan was situation; in the end she, Wisdom and Knowledge had concluded that Garfield's defences would be lowest when he was tired and frustrated. He would be hastier and less resistant in answering her.
"Now," was her simple command to Garfield as they entered the common room after the day's training session.
--
A/N: I'm ending it there for several reasons. One, I wanted this story to have an original chapter. Two, if this is not up to scratch I can remove it and re write with next chapter as one. Three, I wanted to release something this Tuesday. If this is bad please tell me since I feel I've gotten Star wrong and I'm just not sure if the conversation was right. I mean I've done bad chaps in my view before and just deleted and re written but I'm just not sure with this one. The idea is to explain Raven's time delay and to give Starfire's place in the story and an idea of the sister bond she has with both Rae and BB, and also to show that Rae is not perfect in her predictions of BB and she does need help on occasion other than that of her emotions. The next chap will be Raven's side of the 'Guide' chapter in control. Please review.
Respost/N: Sorry for the repost but I forgot to say a few things and I corrected some mistakes while I was at it. One, in Control chapter Dedication the short explanation Raven gives of her past, I have now learned, differs from mainline a little too much in words but I do have a solution to that planned and it will be explained in detail when this story gets there. Two, no one's solved the annorgram (sp?) in Control yet. Three, thank you for your compliments and advice it's vastly appreciated. Four, I'm off on hoilday for a week and a bit so... sorry.
