DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fanfiction produced for entertainment purposes only. Yu-Gi-Oh! and all related characters are the creations of Kazuki Takahashi.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter includes a quote from a review I received for 'Conversations'-Part 1. The original used asterisks, however since asterisks no longer work in stories, I've had to use :: instead.

.

Interview with an Authoress
Chapter 4: The Fourth Show

By Shadow's Mirror

.

Show aired June 8, 2004

Trent, the Ancient Tree of Enlightenment, the Dark Magician and Dark Witch look up from their card game as two figures enter the cave. "Ah, Shadow's Mirror and D Human! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you all the way out here in such weather?" The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment smiles as he greets the two newcomers. Then he frowns slightly. "Oh my, you're both soaking wet. Come further into the cave, where it's drier."

"Thank you Ancient…" Shadow's Mirror's reply is interrupted by D Human's sudden rush into the cave. He runs over to Dark Witch and drops down on one knee to hug her tightly. She squeaks in shock as she finds herself squeezed in a surprisingly powerful grip. Shadow's Mirror blinks. "Um… D Human… I think Dark Witch would like to be able to breathe…"

"Oh. Right." D Human's cheeks burn with embarrassment as he releases Dark Witch. "Sorry about that. I was just so worried about you! Are you okay?" He looks anxiously at Dark Witch as she straightens her dress and shakes her wings, both of which have become slightly rumpled due to D Human's enthusiastic greeting.

"Honestly, D Human, you really need to remember your own strength! I think you almost broke one of my feathers that time." Dark Witch looks particularly cross for a moment before she sighs and pats the now forlorn Shadow Monster on the arm. "Oh, come now, you know I'm not really mad at you. Stop pouting. Come on. Give me a little smile. There, that's more like it!" She grins at D Human as her teasing finally wins a smile out of him. "Don't worry, dear. I'm fine," she adds quietly. D Human nods.

"You do know that you missed the show, don't you?" Shadow's Mirror grins at the Dark Magician, who winces at the less-than-subtle reminder.

"Ah. Yes. I'm afraid it was unavoidable. I was on my way back to the tower when the storm started. I was going to brave it, but I heard…" he pauses suddenly, glancing across the cave to where Dark Witch is now scolding D Human for getting her all wet.

"Let me guess, you set a trap, Dark Witch got caught by it and you had to free her so she didn't get caught by the storm as well, am I right?" Shadow's Mirror's grin becomes a smirk as the Dark Magician reluctantly nods, confirming her guess.

"It was a perfectly good trap too. Spellbinding Circle. She would have been there for at least a few hours." He sighs, looking disappointed. "It's so rare that she actually falls for one of my traps."

Dark Witch, having overheard the comment, sniffs disdainfully. "Oh please! If it hadn't been for that sudden shift in the wind, I would never have been caught at all! I was flying, for shadows' sakes! The trap was nowhere near me!" She winced. "Then the storm came up and I was blown right into it."

Shadow's Mirror and D Human both wince in sympathy. "Ouch. Were you hurt?"

Dark Witch shakes her head at Shadow's Mirror's question. "My pride got a little bruised, that's all."

"I turned back when I felt the wind shift and heard Dark Witch yell. The storm came up so suddenly. If I'd known it was coming, I wouldn't have wasted my lovely trap." The Dark Magician sighed. "I arrived just as the storm started. We managed to get in here without getting too wet. Then Trent and the Ancient Tree of Enlightenment joined us. They barely got here before the hail started. We've been playing cards ever since." He gestured towards the game in progress. "Would you care to play until the storm eases?"

D Human looks interested. "What's the game?" He glances at Dark Witch and his eyes gleam as a wicked smirk plays across his face.

"Not what you're thinking, that's for sure! I said I'd never play Go Fish with you again, and I meant it!" Dark Witch glares at him and D Human sighs. Everyone else blinks.

"What's wrong with playing Go Fish? It's a little boring perhaps but surely…" Shadow's Mirror falls silent as D Human bursts out laughing and Dark Witch smirks. "I'm missing something here, aren't I?"

"The game's fine, it's just that D Human only likes one particular version of it." Dark Witch smiles with deceptive innocence and waits.

Shadow's Mirror, knowing the female Shadow Monster all too well, doesn't ask the obvious question.

Dark Witch continues to wait.

The Dark Magician twitches. D Human smirks. The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment studies his cards and frowns as he mutters something about the worst streak of luck he's ever had. Trent looks from Dark Witch to Shadow's Mirror a few times and then sighs. "All right! I'll do it!" He turns to Dark Witch. "I know I'll regret asking but… what version of Go Fish does D Human like to play?"

Dark Witch smirks. "Strip Go Fish." As everyone but D Human blinks and tries to get their minds around the concept, she adds, "What's more, he always cheats."

"Hey!" D Human frowns at her. "I don't cheat! How could you say that?" He pouts, looking hurt.

"Because no one could possibly play as badly as you do!" Dark Witch shakes her head. "Although why you'd want to lose every single game is beyond me!" She eyes him suspiciously as Shadow's Mirror groans softly.

"Okay, can we please change the topic now? Before we lose our PG rating…"

The Dark Magician blinks. "We still have it? I thought we lost it during our first show when Bakura…" He trails off, noticing Shadow's Mirror's glare. "Ah… Yes… I probably shouldn't mention it again…"

Shadow's Mirror starts to reply, but sneezes instead. "Oh, great…"

Dark Witch frowns. "I'm not surprised. Just look at you! You and D Human are both soaked through! You'll be lucky to avoid getting colds from this."

D Human looks shyly at her. "If I get sick, will you look after me, like you did that other time?"

Dark Witch looks away, her face suddenly a rather interesting shade of red. "Maybe." D Human smiles happily at her response.

Shadow's Mirror frowns. "Well I don't have time to get sick. I'm way too busy! I know, we'll make a nice fire. That will warm us all up!"

Trent and the Ancient Tree of Enlightenment both look rather worried at that announcement. "Um… I hate to mention this but… we're somewhat allergic to fire."

"Well… that's one way of putting it…" the Ancient Tree of Enlightenment murmurs with a wry smile.

Shadow's Mirror grins. "Don't worry. I promise that no trees will be harmed by this particular fire. See? I came prepared!" She holds up a piece of paper and winks. "Okay, now all we need is the Dark Magician's hat and a spark."

As the Dark Magician starts to protest, Dark Witch beams. "I'll provide the spark!"

The Dark Magician gives her an annoyed look. "You would." He turns his attention to the piece of paper. "What is that?"

Shadow's Mirror's smirk transforms into a serene smile. "This is the latest flame I've received. My third so far, although it's the first one for 'Conversations'. I said on my page that all flames would be used to set fire to the Dark Magician's hat, and I meant it! Now hand over that hat!"

Dark Witch frowns. "May I see that before you burn it? Thanks." She takes the piece of paper and reads it, then blinks and reads it again. "Um… What exactly is this?"

"May I?" The Dark Magician accepts the paper and studies it carefully for a moment. "Hmm… The first part appears to have been written in some sort of ancient language…"

Shadow's Mirror laughs. "Not exactly. Although it has been around for a while. It's called 'leet'. I'm not exactly fluent, but I have come across it before." Her eyes gleam. "You know, if you're going to flame someone, it's usually a good idea to do it in a language that is recognisable by most people."

"True. Where's the fun in insulting someone who doesn't understand a word you're saying?" Dark Witch smirks, then peers over the Dark Magician's arm to see the paper. "So, what's it say?" She and the other Shadow Monsters blink in surprise as Shadow's Mirror starts laughing. "Something funny?"

Shadow's Mirror gets herself back under control, although she's still grinning. "Sorry, it's just that this one is the funniest flame I've received so far."

The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment smiles and sets his cards aside. "Then perhaps it would make an interesting topic for discussion?"

Dark Witch smirks at him. "You just don't want to admit how badly you've been playing so far."

"That is a factor for consideration, yes." The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment looks down at his cards and shudders. "Abysmal. I do believe someone might have cursed me at some point this week."

D Human nods. "Probably. That's happened to me a few times, too."

Dark Witch shifts impatiently, her full attention on Shadow's Mirror. "So, are you going to take us through this flame or what?"

Shadow's Mirror grins. "Oh, all right then. Let's sit down and I'll go through it with you."

As they sit down, D Human suddenly starts bouncing up and down excitedly. "Oh! I have an idea! Why don't we tape this? The Dark Magician can play it in one of his shows at some point." He stops bouncing as he realises something, then looks curiously at Shadow's Mirror. "You can do that, right?"

"Oh most definitely!" With a wave of her hand, a small tape recorder appears in front of her. Shadow's Mirror winks at everyone and settles herself comfortably on the cave floor as the others do the same. When they're all sitting in a loose circle, the girl looks thoughtfully down at the piece of paper.

"I'm starting to suspect that I'm being flamed repeatedly by the same person. This was written by someone calling themselves 'Legendary Bunny'. My first flame was submitted by someone calling themselves 'Mystic Bunny Piper'. It strikes me as an odd coincidence that I'd be flamed by two bunnies. But then again, maybe they took offence at the rabbit I wrote into one of my Inu-Yasha fics."

She shrugs. "All three flames have been similar in other ways too. They were all insulting, both to my intelligence and to the English language, and they all used language that is highly inappropriate for a public review system. They also were all so ridiculous that I couldn't take any of them seriously. A review based on a genuine concern or criticism of my writing, written in polite tones, will make me stop to consider the reviewer's point. A flame that is so ridiculous that I have to wonder if the flamer even read the chapter they're flaming though… I normally just have a good laugh and then delete them."

The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment nods in his usual slow and thoughtful way. "Yet, you did not do that with this one. Might I inquire as to your reason?"

Shadow's Mirror nods, all signs of her previous good humour suddenly gone as she becomes serious. "This one was a little different. I regard it as a flame because of the way it's been written, but it raises a point that I feel compelled to respond to."

"So, let's hear it then! Quote away!" D Human grins and the others nod in agreement.

"All right, here's what 'Legendary Bunny' had to say about chapter 1 of my fic, 'Conversations'." Shadow's Mirror clears her throat and starts reading. "'::3v1l g0th1c g14r3:: you should be ashamed of yourself children read this stuff ::feh::'" When she finishes, she looks around at the stunned faces and grins. "Any comments?"

"Where's the swearing?" As all eyes turn to Trent, his bark seems to darken. "You said it had 'inappropriate language'…"

"Oh! The other two had swearing, with this one it's the first part. It's written in an Internet 'language' called 'leet' or 'leetspeak'. It was originally used solely by gamers and hackers, but it caught on and now it's also used in some forums, chat rooms and messaging services. The thing is, like any language, it has rules that say how it should be used and what's right and wrong in it. It's bad form to use it in this particular way. Also, if you're going to use it, you really should try to get it right."

The Dark Magician blinks. "It is incorrect in some way?"

Shadow's Mirror grins. "Uh huh. I could make out the first two words, but not the third. So I took it over to a leet translation site. Yes, there really is such a thing. It turns out that there's a good reason why I couldn't decipher the third word. The flamer got it wrong."

Everyone chuckles. "So what's it say, and what's it supposed to say?" D Human smirks.

"I think it's supposed to say '::evil gothic glare::' but, according to the rules of leet, it actually says '::evil gothic giare::'. The flamer messed up the spelling." Shadow's Mirror grins as everyone chuckles.

"Hmm… what exactly is an 'evil gothic glare'?" The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment's voice is puzzled. "I have seen an 'evil glare'. At least, I am fairly certain that Bakura's expression the time he was facing that Man Eater Bug qualifies as such. But 'gothic'…" The other Shadow Monsters are just as confused.

"I think it means that the flamer is dressed all in black, wearing dramatic make-up and glaring at me." Shadow's Mirror shrugs.

"Sounds like Yami, except that he'd never flame you. Bakura maybe, Kaiba definitely, but not you." D Human's comment sets everyone laughing.

The Dark Magician is the first to calm down again. He looks curiously at Shadow's Mirror. "You said that this reviewer had a valid point that you felt compelled to reply to. What is it?"

Shadow's Mirror immediately shakes her head. "No, I said it was a point, I didn't say that it was a valid one. It isn't. That's why I want to respond to it."

The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment nods and gestures with one of his branches. "The floor is yours."

"Now what would she want with a cave floor? It's just dirt and stone." D Human frowns at the tree as everyone else winces and sweatdrops.

"He meant that Shadow's Mirror is free to speak without any interruptions. So stop interrupting!" Dark Witch whispers, loudly enough to be heard on the other side of the massive cave.

D Human blinks and frowns at the tree. "Well, why didn't you just say that?"

Shadow's Mirror laughs and intervenes before D Human gets himself into more trouble. "Anyway, according to this flame, I should be ashamed of myself and children read this particular story. I'm assuming that the flamer thinks I should be ashamed of myself because the flamer believes that my 'Conversations' fic isn't appropriate for any children who may be reading it."

The Dark Magician considers for a moment. "What do you believe?"

Shadow's Mirror shakes her head. "The only thing I'm ashamed about with this fic is the amount of time it's taken me to write it. Considering how quickly I can get it written when I put my mind to it, I should have finished it ages ago." She winces. "Apart from that, the story follows all the rules of grammar, spelling, punctuation and writing in general. The characters are as in-character as I can get them and I've done my best to keep it lighthearted and entertaining. So I think it actually sets a good example for anyone reading it. As for content, there is absolutely no nudity, drug use or…"

Everyone blinks as she pauses. "You've thought of something?" D Human asks in surprise.

"I was just wondering if Marik mentioning that he's sore from being hit by a group of women would be classed as 'violence'."

"Not to Marik." Dark Witch's wry comment earns a laugh from the group.

"Does he just mention it or do you describe them hitting him?" the Dark Magician asks quietly

"He just mentions it. Ah! Good point! That does make a difference. In that case, the only violence in 'Conversations' is during the argument between Joey and Seto, when Joey pulls Seto around to face him." Shadow's Mirror grins wryly. "At least, that's all that's written in. I'm not convinced that Joey and Tristan's meeting, after Joey's phone call to Serenity, was exactly calm and polite…"

After D Human finally stops laughing, apparently finding that line far more hilarious than any of the others, Shadow's Mirror included, Dark Witch looks at Shadow's Mirror and raises an eyebrow. "So what does that leave?"

"The fun stuff!" D Human's cheerful comment sends Trent off into a series of wheezy laughs, rather like gusts of wind through leaves. It's several moments before the large tree finally regains control.

Shadow's Mirror somehow manages to keep from laughing aloud, contenting herself with a smirk. "In other words, adult themes and… physical intimacy." She says the last words very quickly as her cheeks flood with colour. Dark Witch starts laughing.

"You can't even say that without blushing, so I doubt it's a problem." She smirks at Shadow's Mirror, whose blush deepens.

"Let's just say that there's a reason why I don't write romantic scenes. You'll see that reason in one of the later chapters," Shadow's Mirror adds with a sigh.

"About the fun stuff…" D Human prods her when she doesn't continue right away.

Shadow's Mirror smiles an odd little smile that's half serenity and half mystery. "D Human! I'm shocked! It's a PG story! As if I'd put anything like that in and then rate it PG!" The Shadow Monsters all blink in surprise.

"Um… we are talking about 'Conversations', right?" D Human asks in complete bewilderment.

Shadow's Mirror nods. "There is nothing written into the story that goes beyond what is acceptable for a PG rating. But whether it reads that way depends entirely on the mind of the reader."

"Huh?" D Human still looks completely bewildered but the others gasp as they get it.

"She means that every reader will read into the story as much, or as little, as their minds allow them to," Dark Witch explains.

D Human thinks about that for a moment and then his eyes widen. "Oh!" He smirks. "I guess my mind is really helpful!" Dark Witch bursts out laughing as the others sweatdrop.

The Ancient Tree of Enlightenment suddenly speaks. "In that case, for this flamer to have become so incensed about the story…"

Shadow's Mirror grins. "Yes, that's what makes the flame so funny. In order to become offended by it, the flamer must have read more into it than I've actually written! Especially since the flame was for the first chapter. That was the one where Ryou helps Bakura with a splinter. That's all it's about. I state it as a fact. If the flamer's read more into it, then it's a measure of their mind, not my story."

The Dark Magician looks thoughtful. "Don't you also mention in the story's summary that it is rated PG due to suggestive dialogue?"

"Yes. What gets me is that the flamer saw that and read the story anyway! I even say it in the Author's Note for that chapter! I couldn't possibly state it any clearer than I have." Shadow's Mirror shakes her head, but then she grins. "I've even had a couple of people ask me where the suggestive dialogue is!"

D Human bursts out laughing. Shadow's Mirror waits for him to finish before continuing. "So, you can see why I consider this to be a flame. Not only is it an attack on my story and myself for writing it, but it's completely wrong! Also… 'feh' is a comment, like 'oh' or 'whatever', it isn't an action so it shouldn't have been in action quotes." The Shadow Monsters all nod in agreement.

"Well, I believe you summed that up nicely. It will make a fine addition to one of the shows." The Dark Magician smiles contentedly, but his smile fades slightly as Shadow's Mirror looks over at him.

Shadow's Mirror locks gazes with the Dark Magician. "Yes. Now then, I believe we were in the middle of something… Are you going to hand over your hat quietly, or do we have to do this the hard way?"

"Oh, let's do it the hard way!" Dark Witch bounces eagerly in her place as the Dark Magician sighs.

"Honestly… what is this fascination that you both have with setting my hat on fire?" He gives them both a look of mild irritation as he starts removing his hat.

Shadow's Mirror and Dark Witch look at each other for a moment before shrugging and replying at the same time. "It's fun."

With that settled, D Human looks around the group. "So, the storm's still going on… Didn't someone mention cards earlier? If we can't play Strip Go Fish, how about a good game of Snap?"

The Dark Magician deals out the cards and they begin to play as the storm howls outside and the Dark Magician's hat burns merrily, casting a cheerful glow and a cosy warmth throughout the cave.

.

to be continued…