Disclaimer: See ch. 1
Spoilers: Through 14
A/N: Thank you all so much for reading and for leaving me such amazing reviews! You guys are seriously the best fans ever! For anyone who noticed the transportation slip-up in ch. 2, it has now been fixed. Oh and FYI, school starts Wed. so updates won't be quite so frequent starting then. I hope you'll have patience with me! Enjoy!
An hour later, Lula picked me up in front of my apartment building. Joe had volunteered to drop me off at my parents' to pick up Big Blue, but two minutes later his pager had gone off and he'd had to leave. I wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or relieved. I was still mad at him for trying to tell me how to run my life, but did work really have to come first…always?
Lula and I drove straight to the bonds office, bass loud enough to make conversation impossible. I figured she'd want to hold off the interrogation until we were with Connie, anyway. I know I did; one explanation was more than enough.
We parked on the street and got out of the car.
"So, girl, what the hell's going on here?" Lula asked as we walked through the front door.
Connie stood as we entered.
"Christ, Steph, I heard about the pig in your fridge, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah…"
The door to Vinnie's inner sanctum opened and the rat himself poked his head out. "Pig? What about a pig?" His beady rat eyes were narrowed in unconcealed interest.
"The pig was dead, you pervert," Connie yelled.
My cousin Vinnie had an unnatural attraction to animals. It was rumored that he had had relations with a duck…Yick.
"Yeah, you squirrel, now get your little head back in your office before I…"
Vinnie slammed the door before Lula could finish.
"Don't forget who signs your paychecks," he called from behind the door.
"I do!" Connie yelled.
We heard the lock click on Vinnie's door and heaved a collective sigh of relief.
"So, anyway, Steph who the hell would put a pig head in your fridge?" Connie asked.
I shrugged. I wasn't sure I wanted to get into the phone calls with them just yet. I still wasn't sure what they meant myself.
"Lula, want to go after Johnny Douglas today? I'd like to pay him back for the car chase the other day."
Lula seemed to think for a minute. "Sure, girl, but we're stopping at the bakery on the way. I need me some sugar. I'm feelin' weak already, just thinkin' about chasing that little turd Douglas."
We chased that little turd Douglas around his block for twenty minutes before Lula cut him off through someone's backyard and sat on him. If I hadn't been so out of breath, I'd have laughed my ass off. Once I caught my breath, we stuffed Douglas into the back seat of Lula's Firebird and hauled him to the pokey.
"Aw, c'mon, Steph, you're ruining the pool here. No garbage at all?" Big Dog asked when I went in to get my body receipt.
"Sorry guys. No blown up cars either."
There were a few loud groans.
"Yeah, but I won with the pig thing," Brian Simon said. "Said you'd have a run in with an animal. Guys figured that was close enough."
I glared at him. Simon had been Bob's owner before he'd pawned him off on me. Now, I love Bob – even more now that he's eating Morelli's couch instead of mine – but I was still pretty miffed with Simon for his scheming.
I grabbed my receipt from the cop-in-a-cage and turned to huff out the door.
"See ya later, Steph," Simon called after me.
I flipped him a nice Italian hand gesture over my shoulder.
Lula and her Firebird were gone by the time I got back to the parking lot. Lula has an allergy to police stations…well, to cops in general, really. As a result, I'm often abandoned there.
I whipped out my cell phone and dialed her number.
"Get your ass back here and pick me up."
"Well, girl, you see I'm kinda busy here filing. And besides that, I just bought me this here cheeseburger and I wouldn't want it to get cold. I got one here for you, too, when you get back."
"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" I yelled into the phone.
There was low chuckling from behind me.
"Babe."
I spun around and glared up into Ranger's amused eyes.
"Forget it, Lula. My burger better still be there when I get back." Then I hung up.
"That stuff will kill you, babe."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Lula forget you again?"
"I can't believe I keep letting her do it. I should take the keys in with me," I said, my eyes taking in the sight of Ranger all decked out in black cargos, black painted on tee, and black combat boots. He was sporting one gun that I could see, probably another that I couldn't, and no doubt a knife or two. He looked absolutely delicious. "Yeah, that's what I should do."
His lips tipped up a fraction. "Babe. You need a ride?"
I nodded. "Why are you here?" I asked him.
"Checking on something for a Rangeman case."
"What's the case?"
Ranger smiled for real and put an arm around my shoulder. He was strong and warm and I wanted to melt into him. But the fact that we were at the cop shop reminded me of Morelli and that reminded me that I should be feeling guilty about cozy Ranger moments. I let out a long sigh.
"Deep thoughts, babe?"
I let him open the door to the Turbo and give me a gentle shove in.
"The deepest," I muttered.
Ranger shut the door and went around to climb in the driver's side.
"Where to, babe?"
I sighed. "Bonds office. I need to get another FTA today or I won't be eating this week."
Ranger gave me a wolf grin. "You know, you can always eat with me. I'm not sure how much food would be involved but…"
Heat shot straight to my doodah. "Oh boy."
Ranger just smiled and pulled out of the parking lot.
After a few moments of silence, Ranger broke out of his zone and flicked his eyes to me. "How are you doing, babe? I know that pig thing freaked you out this morning."
I took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm okay. At least it wasn't a human head."
That got me a fraction of a smile.
"How about last night? You okay with that?"
I glanced over at him. "Yeah." Why wouldn't I be?
"I hope I didn't scare you with my bluff." He looked over briefly and caught my eyes. "I wasn't expecting him to react that quickly. I figured I could get you out of the way before he got over the shock of us being there."
"I knew you wouldn't let Tank shoot me," I said. I trusted Ranger with my life; it was my heart I was supposed to be worried about.
Ranger chuckled, then his face grew more serious. "I'm just glad that knife wasn't much sharper." He reached over and touched my neck gently. I shivered.
Ranger looked over at me with a grin. "Cold, babe?"
I couldn't answer. I needed out of this car. If I was alone and in an enclosed space with Ranger for much longer, I might do something stupid…like start ripping off his clothes.
"Babe." Ranger chuckled.
I rolled my eyes and looked back out the windshield. "I'm fine, Ranger. Don't you worry about me."
He parked in front of the bonds office and I reached for the door handle. He stopped me with a hand on my knee.
"Be careful, babe. Please?"
I gulped in a breath and nodded. Ranger knew he had me when he said please. I couldn't resist that word coming out of his mouth.
He smiled and leaned in. I braced myself, but he just brushed his lips over mine once, twice softly, barely touching. A shiver rippled up my spine. Ranger chuckled gently and threw my door open.
"Call me, if you need anything," he said as I climbed carefully out of the car. I nodded again. I couldn't have gotten words out if I'd tried.
I shut the door and went into the office. Ranger watched me until the office door was closed, then pulled out into traffic.
Call me, if you need anything, he'd said. He hadn't specifically included Ben and Jerry's Phish Food or a Ranger induced orgasm, but then he hadn't specifically excluded them either. Something to think about. Later.
After my lunch of cold McDonald's, I convinced Lula to go back out with me to pick up Donna Dernon and Mr. Feester.
We arrived at Mr. Feester's small, one story house around 1. When he didn't answer his front door, we decided to let ourselves in.
"What?" Lula asked innocently after she'd broken the window next to the back door. "It was open." She reached through the opening and unlocked the door.
I rolled my eyes and followed her into the living room. Mr. Feester was out cold on the sofa. Nap time, I supposed. I managed to cuff him and we'd dragged him almost to the door before he woke up.
"Harrrrr…" He yelled. "What the fuck?"
Before I could react, Lula had her stun gun out and Mr. Feester was limp on the foyer floor.
"Shit," I said, staring down at the old man. "He better not be dead. You know how I hate dead people. What did I tell you about stunning senior citizens?"
Lula stared down at him for half a minute. "Naw, girl, see his little bony chest is still moving."
I looked down. Sure enough, Mr. Feester's chest was rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Huh.
We half dragged, half carried the old guy to the curb and threw him into the back of the Firebird. I went back to lock up, then we booked it to the police station.
Lula pulled up to the back door and watched while two uniforms hauled Mr. Feester out of the car.
I looked over at her. "Really sorry, Lula." Then I reached over, grabbed the keys from of the ignition and jumped out of the car.
"Girl! You better…"
"Be right back," I called over my shoulder.
The Firebird was still there when I got back out. Lula, however, was conspicuously missing.
I looked from the empty car to the back door of the police station and back to the car. My cell phone rang.
"She took off just as I was pulling in. Ran off down the street like the hounds of hell were after her."
"Eddie?" I asked, looking around for him.
"In my office." I looked up at the third window from the right and Eddie waved out at me. I waved back.
"Ummm, thanks."
"Sure," he said, then hung up.
I hopped into the Firebird and drove out of the lot.
I spotted Lula two blocks down. She was standing beside the open hatch of a rusted out Toyota Civic talking to a black guy big enough to make Tank look small. She was holding a hot pink leather clutch in one hand and a lime green shoulder bag in the other.
"Girl, what the hell you thinkin' leavin' me back there like that?" She called out when I pulled up and got out of the car.
"Now you know how I feel."
"You ain't got no allergy to them cops," she said.
"No, but I've got an allergy to being left places without rides."
She huffed and rolled her eyes. "We all know Batman come get you whenever you ask," she said. "Besides, now you gone and forced me into retail therapy." She held up the bags. "Which one you like?"
I didn't want to admit it, but I didn't like either. I was saved answering by the big black salesman. He whipped out a gun and aimed it at Lula.
"I knew I recognized you. What the hell you doin' bringin' his woman here?" He said, his eyes flickering from Lula to me, then back again.
"Woah, buddy, who you aimin' that thing at? Sure as hell better not be me," Lula huffed. "Put that thing away before I bust a cap in yo ass."
She dropped the purses and reached into her own bag. The salesman got off a shot that missed Lula by inches, and she hauled out her Glock and aimed it at his head. He seemed to consider it a moment, then his gun swiveled to me.
"I'll shoot the skinny white bitch," he sneered. "Then Manoso be after both of us." He cocked an eyebrow at Lula. "That what you want?"
"Batman?" Lula asked. "Well, hell, I wouldn't mind him bein' after me, if you know what I mean."
"Ranger?" I asked. "I'm not Ranger's woman. You can put the gun down. He wouldn't care one way or another if you shot me. We'll just…"
"Hell no. You ain't trickin' me. Manoso put out a hands-off notice on you almost a year ago. Not many people on the street stupid enough to ignore that. Then this bitch," he said, motioning with his gun towards Lula, "gotta drag you right into my little corner of Trenton. Shit, he finds out he'll kill me just for principles. I should just put one in both your heads. Maybe he won't find out."
I put my hands up on either side of my face. "Ranger's not killing anyone. I hate it when he has to kill people for me. We'll just leave now and Ranger never needs to know about this. Lula, get in the car."
Lula snorted and kept her gun aimed at the guy.
"Lula," I ground out.
"Fine," she huffed and walked backwards towards the car, her Glock not wavering an inch.
I kept my eyes on the guy's gun as I made my way back to the car. "Now, I promise Ranger won't ever hear about this, just don't shoot at us."
I climbed into the Firebird.
"Go," I yelled at Lula and we peeled off down the road.
"Damnit," Lula said once we were halfway to the bonds office. "I really liked that pink bag."
I rolled my eyes and thunked my head back on the headrest. This was turning out to be a really long day; first a pig in my fridge, then a foot chase, now I belonged to Ranger. Oh boy.
Lula dropped me off at my parents' house so I could pick up Big Blue, my Great Uncle Sandor's jumbo-jet sized, powder blue '53 Buick. I drove to the bank to deposit my checks from Douglas and Mr. Feester. If I could get Donna Dernon this week, I'd be able to pay my rent this month. It was only 4:30, so I decided that there was no time like the present.
I drove the four blocks from the bank to Dernon's apartment. The shooting began before I was even in front of the house. I chanced a peek out my window and there was Dernon's boyfriend Chuck standing on the front porch trying his damndest to get a round through my windshield. I pulled a sharp u-turn and fishtailed it out of there. I didn't slow down until I was one block from my parents' house. Maybe tomorrow I'd call Ranger and see if he had a few minutes to help me deal with Dernon. I'd feel like a wimp doing it, but at least I wouldn't be a bullet-riddled wimp.
I arrived back at Casa de Plum at promptly five. Just in time to pretend to help mom with dinner. See, mom didn't really want my help with dinner, but it was 'Burg law that I offer and she accept. So I sat at the kitchen counter and tossed a salad – which she'd already prepared – while mom did all the heavy lifting.
"So, why are you here again?" To anyone else this would have seemed a very rude question. I'd learned to take mom in stride.
I watched her slide the meatloaf into the oven before I answered with a sigh. "Termite problems. The fumigation should be done in the next couple of days."
She nodded and turned up the heat on the potatoes. "Is Joe coming for dinner?"
I hadn't spoken to Joe since this morning and the pig incident. Truth was, I really didn't want to deal with Joe, but I couldn't tell my mom that. "He's got to work late," I lied. Hell, for all I knew it was the truth. Joe worked a lot of late nights recently.
"That's too bad," mom said. "Your grandmother is having a date over. I was hoping having a cop at the table would keep things in line." She glanced back at me over her shoulder. "I suppose an…apprehension agent…will have to do."
I almost smiled at the way she had to force out the words 'apprehension agent'. Mom was still very uncomfortable with my job except, apparently, when it came in handy.
"Sure, mom, I'll make sure she behaves," I assured her. In reality, there was no one who could control my grandmother. Unless, of course, it was Ranger. And he was standing in front of her naked. I'm pretty sure Grandma would do anything the Cuban Sex God wanted. I know I would. I froze. Bad thoughts, very bad thoughts. Remember Morelli, Steph? Your boyfriend? Who loves you? Who you claim to love? And I did love Joe, it was just… My mom looked back at me. I'd been silent for too long. "Is this guy from the personal ad?"
She nodded solemnly and crossed herself. "Lord, help me. My mother is searching for love using the newspaper. What will people think?"
I rolled my eyes. My mother cared entirely too much about what 'people' would think. I suppose as a good 'Burg daughter I should be caring right alongside her, but I just couldn't work up the energy, never mind the initiative, not on this anyway.
"I'll go set the table," I told mom.
She nodded, distracted by her own thoughts. Probably trying to come up with some excuse for her mother's behavior. 'She's senile, poor thing.' 'I was adopted. My real mother would never take out a personal ad.' 'Bad gene, you know, very good thing I wasn't cursed with it. But that Stephanie…'
Grandma's date turned out to be a pretty decent guy. His name was Liam Riley. He was about the same age as grandma, but he looked about 20 years younger than her. He was ex-Navy and I couldn't get over how much he reminded me of Ranger. His hair was all silver, but fell thick and heavy to his collar. His eyes were a piercing blue, and when he smiled, which was often, it was just a slight crinkling of his eyes and lips; an almost-smile. He didn't talk much, but when he did his voice was low and smooth. He called my dad and mom 'sir' and 'ma'am'. Me, he called 'sweetie'. He said I reminded him of his daughter when she'd been my age. It was when his eyes fell on grandma that I felt the air shift. He smiled down at her like she was a rare treasure and he had the only key to the vault. My heart stuttered. I wanted someone to look at me that way.
When dinner ended, Mr. Riley shook dad's hand, kissed mom and I on the cheek and allowed grandma to walk him to the door. Grandma stumbled back a few minutes later looking decidedly starry-eyed.
"Ain't he a pip," she sighed.
"A pip," I agreed.
"He seemed…very nice," my mother admitted. "You should invite him back again soon."
Grandma smiled up at my mother and I swear I saw my mother's lips twitch in return.
"He got his own place?" My dad asked from his spot in front of the TV. "When can you move in?"
We ignored him and moved into the kitchen for leftover cake.
"So, how are you and the cop?" Grandma asked once we were seated at the kitchen table.
I sighed. "We're good," I said, not knowing for sure if it was truth or lie. I didn't know what to think of Joe and I. I loved him, I knew that, but was it the right kind of love? Did it come with a ring and a promise of forever? I hated to admit it, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the answer was no. So, why was I still with him? I took another bite of cake. I'd worry about that some other time. For now, there was cake to be dealt with.
A/N: So, what did you think? Some crazy skips, concerned!Ranger, a shootout! and a new man for Grandma! Life couldn't get any more exciting…or could it? Stay tuned!
Oh, and Big Blue is a '53 Buick, right? I looked on Janet's website, but I couldn't find anything that said what year it was and I was too lazy to find it in the books. If it's wrong, I'll come back and fix it.
