DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fanfiction produced for entertainment purposes only. Yu-Gi-Oh! and all related characters are the creations of Kazuki Takahashi.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The doodle mentioned in the story is, unfortunately, real. It's over at my gallery at Deviant Art, if anyone's interested. The link is on my bio page.

Interview with an Authoress
Chapter 6: The Sixth Show

By Shadow's Mirror

Show aired September 12, 2004

Fire Sorcerer opens the kitchen door and smiles slightly when he sees who is standing there. "Hello Dark Magician. Please come in. He is most eager to see you."

"Thank you." The Dark Magician studies the boy as he enters the cosy room, although he is very careful not to make his concern obvious. The young Shadow Monster is looking very pale and tired, despite trying his best not to show it. But the truly worrying thing is how thin he is. His normally healthy glow is gone, replaced by almost translucent skin and dark shadows beneath his eyes.

"Dark Magician! Thank the Shadows you're here! You must help. Oh please, you must! We can't take it any longer!" A flurry of feathers and material comes through the other door and grabs hold of the startled magician's arm. Before the Dark Magician can say a word, he finds himself being pulled out of the kitchen and down a long, wide hallway by a figure in a purple robe with the head and wings of a bird. Fire Sorcerer was obviously not exaggerating about the Spirit of the Books' emotional state.

"I can see why you called me. Fire Sorcerer definitely doesn't look well. Do we really need to run though?" The Dark Magician gives a pained grunt as his companion suddenly stops in his tracks, causing the mage to slam into him. "Ow."

Puzzled dark eyes peer up at the Dark Magician. "Fire Sorcerer? Oh no. Nonononono! He's not the reason I called you here!" The mage barely has time to blink in surprise before he is pulled the rest of the way down the hall. When they reach the doorway, the Spirit of the Books gives one final tug so the Dark Magician can see through the doorway. "No. She's the reason why I called you!" He gestures with a trembling hand into the room beyond. The Dark Magician looks. Then he blinks.

The Royal Magical Library is a massive room that rises up in a column of more levels than anyone has ever been able to count. The shelves covering every wall are filled with books on every subject imaginable, and quite a few more besides. Large platforms jut out from the shelf-clad walls, one on every level. Each platform supports a small podium just large enough to hold a large book, a quill and a pot of ink if necessary. Underneath the platforms are the large balls of green energy, mage orbs, which provide the room's only illumination. Purple-robed figures move around the room, constantly cataloguing, reshelving, dusting and doing whatever else needs to be done at the time, as much a part of the library as the books and shelves.

Normally, the library is a peaceful place and the librarians go about their tasks with an unhurried calmness that enhances the feeling of peace even more. So it is quite a shock for the Dark Magician to see the librarians all rushing frantically around the place trying to reshelve the stacks of books in their arms that threaten to topple to the floor every time they move.

In the middle of the room, seated at the massive table there, is the cause of the chaos.

The Dark Magician strides into the room, causing more than one librarian to mutter 'thank the Shadows' under their breath. As he approaches the hooded figure, he notices how still she is. Her eyes are closed and she looks completely relaxed. Then he glances at the table in front of her and tries not to grin. Several pens lie abandoned beside a pad of paper that has a few lines on it, all of them scratched out. Apparently the frustrated writer took to doodling after that because the rest of the page contains a rather odd drawing of what appears to be a cat with a mouse and a small… something or other… sitting on its back. The Dark Magician eyes the picture for a minute.

"If you don't mind my asking, what is that drawing supposed to be?"

"It's a cat with a mouse and a riceball on its back. Can't you tell?"

"The cat and the mouse I recognised, yes. It was the smiling triangle with stick arms and legs that gave me the trouble." The Dark Magician smiles as the hooded girl opens one eye and glances at him.

"Do you mind? That's my artwork you're talking about. I happen to be rather fond of that riceball. Now go away and let me think in peace." Shadow's Mirror closes her eye again.

"Thinking? Is that what you were doing? Strange… It looked as though you were asleep." The Dark Magician perches on the side of the table beside her.

"Well I do get my best ideas that way, but how could I possibly sleep with all this noise and bustle?" One hand waves lazily through the air, vaguely gesturing at the frazzled librarians.

"Ah. Yes. What have you been doing here to get them so worked up?"

"Me? I just came here to do a spot of research. I have no idea what's set them off."

"Research?" The Dark Magician picks up one of the books piled on the table nearby and glances at the title. He raises an eyebrow. "'Original Characters of Feudal Japan and How to Remember Their Names'. Sounds fascinating." He picks up another book. "'Legends of Ancient Greece'. Greece?" He blinks and stares at the girl in surprise. "Not Egypt?"

"I needed some information for the last chapter and epilogue of my Angel fic."

The Dark Magician perks up at that. "Last chapter and epilogue? Oh, that's excellent news! You're working on them now?"

"No. I've finished them. I think." A slight frown and a heavy sigh makes the Dark Magician study her for a moment in surprise.

"You think? You don't know if you've finished them or not?"

"Well I've written them. Then I edited, proofread, spellchecked and proofread them again, like I do with all of my stories. But I'm not happy with them."

"Ah! I see. What's the problem?" As he waits for her response, the Dark Magician peers at the title on another book and blinks before quickly putting 'Philosophical Ramblings of Balance and Fate' (by D. Estiny) back on the table.

"You mean aside from the fact that the epilogue made me cry while I was writing it? I haven't the foggiest. I suspect it might just be the fact that I started the fic with a definite ending in mind, but ended up changing it as I was writing. That sort of thing always makes me doubt myself."

"You? Doubt yourself?" The Dark Magician stares at Shadow's Mirror in surprise.

"Uh huh. Always. I love writing. I've loved it ever since I wrote my first story. I was six years old. But I'm well aware of my limitations. I respect the characters and their original creator, I proofread and spellcheck my work and I can turn a pretty phrase when I have to, but I'm not perfect. I often ramble, I go off on tangents that have been known to completely eclipse what was supposed to be the main storyline and I have an extensive vocabulary that occasionally makes me sound as though I've eaten a dictionary. I am constantly learning and I am constantly judging my own work. I never allow anything to be seen by anyone else unless I am happy with it. But there is one thing in which I am never good enough, in my own eyes."

The Dark Magician's expression becomes very gentle. "What is that?"

Shadow's Mirror sighs. "I can't always evoke emotion in the readers. A truly good writer is someone who has the ability to make a reader feel a character's thoughts or emotions. They draw them into the story and they make them care about the characters and what happens to them. The characters become their friends or enemies. The story will be painted in the reader's mind and when it is over… the reader will blink and come out of their daze with the knowledge that they have just read something truly incredible." The Dark Magician blinks at the wistful note in Shadow's Mirror's voice.

"You've read stories like that?"

"Yes. Oh yes. And after I read them, I think back over what I've written and I know that my writing is not that good." Shadow's Mirror's smile is tinged with sorrow.

"Oh… but surely…" Before the Dark Magician can say anything more, Shadow's Mirror opens her eyes and turns her head. He falls silent at the knowing look she gives him.

"I make no claim towards being a good or bad writer. I leave that decision up to those who read my stories. I believe that sometimes my stories will make people laugh, or at least snicker silently to themselves. But I also believe that laughter is one of the easiest emotions to draw out. For me, the true challenge lies with the darker emotions. To make a reader feel the pain and sorrow of a character… for a reader to actually cry over my words… I don't know if my writing holds such power."

After several moments of silence, Shadow's Mirror sighs heavily and looks away. When she speaks again, her voice is very soft. "That's why most of my stories focus on the lighter side of things. I'm more comfortable writing humour, action and light drama than I am with writing pain and angst."

The Dark Magician blinks. "Um… don't you have rather a lot of pain in one of your Inu-Yasha stories and in your Angel story?" He blushes and shifts uncomfortably as Shadow's Mirror's startled gaze snaps to him.

"You've read my…?"

"Yes… well… You haven't written any Yu-Gi-Oh! stories in some time and I got a little… bored one night a few weeks ago, so…" He shifts again, refusing to look at her. Shadow's Mirror chuckles.

"Ah! I see! Well… yes… both of those stories have battles and injuries in them, but that's not the sort of pain I meant. I meant emotional pain, not pain from having someone stab you with a sword or shoot poisonous vapours at you. I mean the kind of pain that comes from having someone betray your trust, or lie to you, or yell things that leave you lying broken on the ground, sobbing for hours afterwards."

The Dark Magician blinks and eyes Shadow's Mirror thoughtfully. "You don't normally write that sort of story, but you do put a little angst in every now and then."

Shadow's Mirror nods. "If that's what happens in the story, then yes. I write what comes to me. I'll get a flash in my mind… an image of a scene, or sometimes it will be a phrase, or a sentence. I've even had whole paragraphs just pop into my mind occasionally. If it's a new story, then that's usually all I'll get. I put the story on simmer mode and sooner or later the rest of it will come to me. If it's for a story that's already simmering though, that's different. Usually I'll end up writing at least one chapter. But while I'm writing… I'm normally rather detached from the emotional side of the story. I can write the funniest things and the saddest things without missing a keystroke. It isn't until I read over what I've written that the emotions will hit me. It's very rare for me to feel the emotion as I write it. When I do…" She trails off with a slight shudder.

"So… does that mean that your personal mood doesn't affect your writing at all?" The Dark Magician frowns slightly. "I mean… if you write as the stories come to you, then what happens if a happy story comes when you're feeling down?"

"It will be a happy story. When I first started writing, my emotions did lead the stories sometimes. Over the years though, I've come to realise that every story has its own mood. If you can tap into that mood, then you can keep the story true to itself no matter what your own mood might be at the time. Although… there are exceptions. There are some stories that can only be written when you're in the right mood." Shadow's Mirror sighs softly, looking down at her writing pad.

The Dark Magician starts to speak, but pauses as he feels something strange in the air. It feels like Shadow Magic, but it isn't being directed by a Shadow Monster, or one of the Millennium Items. This is… something different. He frowns, trying to sense the source of the powerful magic. It seems to be coming from… Shadow's Mirror!

All around the library, the mage lights begin to either dim or spark and books start tumbling off the shelves. The librarians groan and rush around, trying to catch the falling books and return them to their proper places. As the magician looks around in surprise, he begins to realise why the Spirit of the Books had been so upset earlier. Chaos has come to the Royal Library, caused by the power that Shadow's Mirror seems to be calling without even realising it! Such power… it could only be called so strongly if there is intense emotion behind it.

"Shadow's Mirror?" He speaks tentatively, trying to catch her attention. She doesn't seem upset, just a little distracted and somewhat quieter than usual. Thinking back over their discussion though, the Dark Magician suddenly realises something she hasn't mentioned. Normally, it would have been one of the first things she had spoken about, so perhaps it is the cause of the trouble. "It has been some time since you last wrote anything. Why is that, if you don't mind me asking?" he asks quietly.

The books stop falling and the lights return to normal as Shadow's Mirror blinks and comes out of her reverie. "What? Oh!" A tinge of colour appears on her pale cheeks, although it is hard to tell since her hood throws her face into shadow. "Yes, it has been a while. I got so caught up in everything else I've been doing, I didn't realise how much time had passed until it was mentioned in a review the other day. It's actually rather embarrassing." She ducks her head down as her blush deepens.

The Dark Magician smiles slightly, relieved that she seems to have regained control of her emotions. "So, is that why you haven't been writing? Lack of time?"

Shadow's Mirror sighs softly as she shakes her head. "Not exactly. I haven't been any busier than usual so I've had plenty of time to write. No, the problem is more a lack of inspiration."

"Writer's Block?" The Dark Magician blinks in surprise. "You don't often suffer from that, do you?"

"Not exactly. Some stories need to simmer for longer than others, but sooner or later they're all ready to be written. But the simmering is just my mind going over the story and working out how to phrase things and what's going to happen and stuff like that. It's what goes into the story while it's simmering that makes it good or bad. Any idea or flash of inspiration could be the last bit of spice the story needs. But if there's no inspiration, then…" Shadow's Mirror shrugs and sighs again.

"I see. That is indeed a problem." The Dark Magician thinks for a moment. "What normally inspires you?" he finally asks. The question earns him a slight smile.

"Pretty much anything, usually. Lately though… the only things I've been getting inspiration from have nothing to do with any of the stories that I'm writing!"

The Dark Magician eyes the writing pad with its odd little doodle. "Like cats, mice and… riceballs?"

Shadow's Mirror chuckles. "My current obsession. I get this way every time I discover a new manga or anime that I really like. Don't worry, it's only temporary. A few more weeks and it should return to a less distracting level of fascination." Her smile fades and she sighs again. "But in the meantime, it's hard for me to focus on other things. Also…" She hesitates.

"Also?" the Dark Magician prompts after a moment of silence. The mood seems to have shifted… darkened. Whatever is on Shadow's Mirror's mind, it is apparently quite serious.

"Over the past few months, there have been a few things that have forced me to step back and reconsider where I'm going with some of my stories. Since I find it very difficult to write when I know there's a problem in something, some fics will be going very slowly until I sort out some answers."

The Dark Magician frowns slightly. "That sounds ominous. Which stories are you questioning?"

"I have some major timeline problems with my Yu-Gi-Oh! fics. The biggest one being the question of exactly when they all take place. I have 'Source' starting about six months after the end of Battle City, but I wrote that before I found out any details about the episodes after that point in the anime. I've found out since that it doesn't fit in the timeline. It's looking more and more likely that I'm going to have to set all of my Yu-Gi-Oh! stories in an Alternate Universe. Which is annoying, but workable." Shadow's Mirror sighs. "But then there's my Inu-Yasha crossover."

The Dark Magician winces as he feels the magic stirring around the Library again. He quickly goes into 'distract the emotional Authoress before she causes more chaos' mode. "That was the last ongoing one you started, wasn't it? The crossover with the fandom I've never heard of before."

"Nights into Dreams. Yes."

When Shadow's Mirror doesn't add anything else, the Dark Magician takes a deep breath and plunges headlong into the conversation. "You don't like the way it's going?" He frowns slightly, remembering something. "But you only have the prologue and the first chapter written. How can you tell where it's headed just from that?" He blinks at Shadow's Mirror in bewilderment.

She shakes her head. "No, it's not that. It's not a bad idea. I've never been particularly interested in Nights into Dreams though. I only wrote it as an experiment really, just to see if I could write such an odd crossover. What little interest and excitement I initially had in it has long since vanished. I have so much else to do and so many other stories to write, I really can't see myself wasting time on it." She sighs. "I hate that feeling more than anything else. I've never thought of writing any story as being a 'waste of time' before. Also, I hate to just give up on it. I've never done that before either."

The Dark Magician thinks for a long moment. "Perhaps… Don't you sometimes have periods where you don't have anything else to write? Couldn't it… keep you busy during those times until something else comes up?"

Shadow's Mirror blinks and looks very thoughtful. "Hmm… You know… You just might have an idea there." Her smile lights up her face as she beams up at the mage. "Dark Magician, you're a genius!"

"I'm glad that I could be of assistance." The Dark Magician smiles at Shadow's Mirror, then his smile fades as something occurs to him. "Your lack of inspiration and distraction over the story problems… They have been a concern for you for some time now, correct?"

"You're wondering how long it will continue for, and what effect it will have on my updating my fics, right?" Shadow's Mirror chuckles softly as the Dark Magician's blush confirms her guess. "Well, that's hard to say. I'm playing 'catch-up' with a few things at the moment, which always wreaks havoc with my writing. I simply can't concentrate on stories when I'm rushing around with other things. But I'm starting to see some results now, and in the past few days I even received an unexpected flash of inspiration, so it shouldn't be much longer. I feel awfully guilty though. I hate knowing that I'm letting people down and I can only thank the people who have been waiting so patiently for me."

The Dark Magician nods. "I suppose the important thing is the knowledge that you're continuing all of your stories." He pauses and suddenly looks worried. "Um… you are, aren't you?"

Shadow's Mirror grins. "Yes. Definitely! I haven't forgotten about any of them!"

After sighing in relief, the Dark Magician smiles happily. "So… Where are you up to with them all?"

Shadow's Mirror thinks for a moment. "Well I have a one-shot Ryou/Bakura story ready to go. It's the result of that single flash of inspiration that I just mentioned. It's also so sweet and sugary that it will probably cause cavities. Apart from that, all of my five ongoing Yu-Gi-Oh! fics are up to very difficult chapters." She grimaces. "To be honest, even if I'd had a teakettle of inspiration to pour into those simmering stories every hour, I'd probably still be at exactly the same point with all of them that I'm at now!" She shakes her head. "The timeline problem is a huge distraction. I'm thinking I need to get it sorted out once and for all before I do anything else."

The Dark Magician nods. "That sounds like a wise decision. What of your other stories? You mentioned the crossover earlier, so I'm assuming that it is currently on hiatus?"

"At the moment, yes. I'll have to wait and see what happens with that one. My other two Inu-Yasha stories are both up to their final chapters. Still. I know I always have trouble with the final chapters of stories, but this is getting ridiculous. I missed the moment when they came off simmer so I've had to reheat them. I'll give them a stir as soon as I feel in the mood for a spot of frustration." Shadow's Mirror smiles wryly.

"Which leaves your Angel story. I believe you mentioned it earlier, although… Didn't you say that it was completed?" The Dark Magician frowns slightly. "For someone who's been unable to write lately, you seem to have written quite a bit." He eyes Shadow's Mirror in confusion. She chuckles.

"With the rest of my ongoing stories, it's been nothing but me staring for hours at a blank screen. But my Angel fic was always different to the others. It began differently, every chapter was different… I really should have known that the ending would turn out to be different too." She bows her head, a sweetly sad smile flickering over her lips.

The Dark Magician eyes her warily, relaxing when he realises that the Shadow Magic isn't stirring in response to this particular mood. "What made it so different?"

"Most of my stories begin as a flash in my mind. An image or a phrase, usually. But that one began as a single thought that came the moment I finished reading a detailed review of the final episode of Angel, which wouldn't be played where I was for several more months. I was in tears by the time I finished reading it. My only thought was that having it all end with them going in to that final battle, with no knowledge of whether or not they survived… It seemed so right… so fitting… but at the same time, it just seemed to me that they deserved some… hope."

"So you wrote a new ending to the story? No… that's not right, is it? Your story isn't a new ending. It takes up where the final episode leaves off, doesn't it?"

Shadow's Mirror nods. "I believe that a creator's decision about a character or a scene should always be respected and accepted, whether or not that decision is one that I personally agree with. I will never rewrite a scene from the canon so the outcome is changed. For example, if a character that I love dies, I won't write any story that is merely a rewrite of that death scene so it never happened, or so the character lives. But if something touches me deeply enough… Sometimes I feel compelled to do something." She paused for a moment, considering her words before continuing.

"The moments of a world that are shown in a series are not something to be tampered with, in my eyes. It is the world beyond those moments, the parts of the story that are never shown, never told… That is the world in which we fanfiction writers walk. We write of the missing years between the sagas of Dragonball Z. We write of the day to day life of characters when they're not fighting demons, or each other, for control of the world, or for the souls and lives of their friends. We fill in the gaps in the canon. We explain what is never explained. We answer questions that are never answered. Like… what is Sesshoumaru's fluffy thing? No one knows except the creator. But to a fanfiction writer, it becomes a tail, an enemy's pelt, even armpit hair! Anything is possible. But… canon is canon and fanon is always fanon. The two may mingle, but one should never be mistaken for the other."

The Dark Magician stares at Shadow's Mirror, surprised at how serious she is. He can only nod silently as she continues to speak, her voice softer now but no less assured. "Angel is complete. There is no canon except what was in the series. The canon ended with the final episode, but the fanon continues. It will continue as long as there are writers writing in that fandom. I wanted to contribute something to show my respect to the show, its creator and those who worked on it." Shadow's Mirror smiles slightly.

"That was how it began. But after that, each chapter came so easily it was as though there was someone sitting at my side, whispering the words into my ear as I typed them. I've never felt that way about any story before. It was strange… but not unwelcome. I knew how the story would end the moment I began writing the first chapter. But when it came to writing the final chapter… the whisper came and I obeyed, even though the words I was typing didn't match the scene I'd had in my mind for the duration of the story. By the third page I knew that it wasn't the last chapter. I wrote the last word and immediately began the epilogue. There was no break between the two. I didn't need one. I wrote the epilogue in under an hour. I typed the last word… and only then realised that I was crying."

"Shadow's Mirror…" The Dark Magician rests one hand lightly on the girl's shoulder and she smiles up at him.

"I'm okay. It's been a few weeks since I wrote it. I wanted to wait a while before I proofread it, so I had a better chance of picking up any errors. I also wanted my friend Vash to read it and see what she thought. I wasn't sure if the identity of the hooded woman was too obvious or not. I'll be posting the Epilogue the day after the last chapter. I'd rather post them together, but I don't want to risk people not realising and missing the final chapter by accident. I've done that myself too many times to count!"

The Dark Magician nods. "It sounds as though what you have written is very emotional."

Shadow's Mirror's smile becomes slightly sad. "What I said before, about how I wasn't sure if I could evoke emotion with my words… It seems that the time has come to test that. It's not just my Angel fic either. I've written two other stories as well. Both Inu-Yasha one-shots. I wrote them two weeks apart, during the nights after I learned of the events they deal with. Ever since, I've been debating with myself over whether or not to share them. They were written after I read translated chapters of the Inu-Yasha manga, so they contain spoilers and they won't make the slightest bit of sense to anyone who hasn't also read either the translations or the manga itself. But…" Shadow's Mirror sighs softly. "They're like the Angel story in a way. All were written for the same reason and all are intended as a tribute to the characters that they're written about." She sighs again. "And all three made me cry while I was writing them. That's so rare… I can't notshare them. I only hope that the readers will forgive me for indulging myself by making an original character so prominent in both stories… and never revealing his name."

The Dark Magician blinks at Shadow's Mirror in surprise. "He has no name?"

"Oh, no, he has one. It's just that I want him to remain a bit of a mystery until a future story. Also… I sort of… keep forgetting what his name is." Shadow's Mirror blushes and grins sheepishly.

The Dark Magician bursts out laughing, causing most of the librarians to turn and frown at him disapprovingly. Seeing the looks they're giving him, he grins and stands. "I fear the librarians would very much like to tell me to shush right now. Perhaps we could continue this conversation elsewhere? Say… back in my library in front of the camera? It has been some time since our last interview, after all." He looks hopefully at her and she laughs as she stands up.

"All right Dark Magician, you talked me into it! I've done quite enough work for one day."

She gathers her things and stows them away inside her cloak with surprising ease. As they make their way towards the exit though, Shadow's Mirror suddenly pauses. "Oh, I almost forgot!" Whirling around, she looks at the librarians as they scurry around, then turns her attention to the books lying scattered all around the room. Concentrating, she waves one hand. All of the books suddenly fly off the floor and table and onto the shelves. She repeats the motion and the rest of the books fly from the startled librarians' arms to settle in their proper places.

As the librarians blink at her in shock, Shadow's Mirror moves to the Dark Magician's side. As he holds the door open for her, looking mildly surprised and very intrigued by her sudden display of magic, she smiles sweetly up at him. "I really didn't mean to cause so much trouble. I'm afraid that my darker half loses control of our power whenever I get overly tense or emotional." As she steps outside into the sunshine, the Dark Magician's eyes go wide in shock.

"Did you just say… darker half? You mean you have a…" Realising that Shadow's Mirror is already walking away, the Dark Magician hurries after her. "Shadow's Mirror! Wait for me!"

Their voices fade and the library is once again a place of peace.

To be continued…