Hi. Filler chap.
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Plop…
Plop…
Plop…
Ryan came making his way through the pool house door, walking through falling lazily on his bed. He turned his head to the side. To his utter unsurprise, Seth was sitting in his room throwing a ball against a wall. He was looking lost, spaced out in his own world. Ryan wondered if Seth even noticed him coming in.
He looked at Seth for a moment waiting to see if he would snap out of his thoughts and come back to reality. "Seth.?"
Seth's head snapped over to where Ryan was sitting. "Oh hey Ryan." He said wearily before he squinted. "When did you come in?" Right after he and Summer had that gut wrenching talk at the end of school, he drove home and came straight to the pool house.
"Just a few moments ago… are you alright?" Ryan inquired worriedly.
Seth pursed his lips together. "Am I alright." He sighed throwing the ball once more. "I feel so drained and…crap, I having nothing to say about that would lighten me."
Ryan raised an eyebrow, holding a tight sympathetic expression. "Well, let's play some playstation."
Seth sighed again. "That's what I came here to do. I started the game, was well on my way to getting into it, but I never did. I was just like meh… I don't feel like doing this right now."
Ryan looked at him carefully, and kind of worried. "Really?"
Seth loathingly nodded. "Yup. I didn't feel like playing games. I didn't want to play playstation."
Ryan waited a moment trying to sus out the possibilities. Definitely Summer... "So did you and summer have a talk or something?"
Seth breathed out another heavy sigh. "I can't believe she dumped me because her dad didn't like me." She said exasperated, like he absolutely could not even fathom the notion being thought of more then a few minutes. "I just can't believe she could do that." He continued, more to himself then to Ryan.
Ryan sighed in relief. At least he was willing to talk now. Something really bad must have just happened between them. "So what happened?"
Marissa came strolling through the pool house doors. The sore sight of Seth caught her eye; she quietly moved over to sit beside Ryan.
Seth tiredly looked over at Marissa. "Hey Marissa." He said adopting his mood, using it in place of tone.
Marissa smiled back timidly. "Hey Seth." She looked at Ryan as if saying 'What's going on?'
Ryan looked back as if saying, 'Dunno. Just came in and he was sitting in here already.'
Seth gestured with his hands to signal them to stop what they were doing. "Guys can you not do that. I am right here. If you want to know what is going on with me just ask. I am not too shy to talk."
Ryan shrugged saying. "Well the past week Seth would definitely disagree with you."
"Well Summer and I had a nice little chat and last week Seth is now a shadow of a memory. I have run into one of Summer's wall's, and once again got opened up and bruised and…." He whispered to himself 'broken' before continuing talk to Ryan and Marissa, "and came off second best."
He looked at them but they remained silent. "So yeah, that Seth has vanished, and this Seth has emerged."
Marissa looked at him intrigued. "And what Seth would that be."
Seth went to open his mouth, but then closed it. "I – I don't know." He shook his head in anonymity "– I don't have a clue."
Ryan looked at him quizzically. That was nothing unusual, he hardly ever got what Seth was saying. But Marissa – Marissa knew and understood exactly what Seth was saying.
"Seth…" Marissa found her self saying.
Ryan was confused and Seth was being quiet again, so he decided to ask the question for the third time. "So what happened today at school." He didn't know if he should pry further but what happened between them must have been bad, really bad if seeing the way Seth was acting right now. "How bad was it? Screaming? Yelling? A rage black out? Any hateful words thrown about?"
Marissa was unaware of what had happened between them at school too. Summer had driven to school by herself turning down the offer when she heard that Marissa was going to give Ryan but not Seth a lift.
Seth didn't really want to talk about his and Summer's conversation, as you could probably tell from him avoiding the subject twice before. "After all the crap that we had been through in the past year, this is how it ends for us." A bitter smile surfaced. "God this sucks."
Marissa was actually feeling sorry for him. It was kind of weird seeing as though her best friend had caused him so much pain, but in one twisted view she did have reason, and as far as respect went, she couldn't blame Summer on her decision.
Even so, Marissa wasn't liking how Seth was so down and broken. She was so used to his fun quirky upbeat tune that his current depressed banal mood was kind of weirding her out.
"Well if it's any consolation, I am pretty sure that Summer is not doing so well either." She tried to sound reassuring.
Seth huffed in irritation. "That actually makes me feel more- me more frustrated and confused. I just don't get it." He waited a moment considering which direction to take. He was Seth, of course he was going to talk it all out.
He took a deep breath then started. "We talked this afternoon, right after school. And we talked about - stuff." He clicked his tongue a few times. "She said some stuff that just doesn't make sense. I mean it is like the biggest catch 22 ever. She dumps me then says this stuff that just doesn't make sense, in reason, why that she would feel it necessary to break up with me."
He shoved his hands in his pockets. "The girl just doesn't make sense."
Ryan and Marissa waited to see if he would carry on, which of course he did. "She acts like this, like the break up is really hurting her, but then she carries on like there is not option of maybe that we shouldn't have broken up and we can get back together."
Marissa 'ohhed" at his words. He was still carrying hope.
But the sad thing was he was shredding shades, he no longer resembled his actual self. It was like his colour riddled tones of personality and self awareness were fading from the pain, the anguish – because of Summer.
Even though he was still carrying hope, there was crippling sense of trepidation that wouldn't allow himself to fall back in to a relationship with her. If such a thing were to happen, if he and Summer were to get back together, it would be an eventual thing. Not a snap decision like how they lost their virginity. Roads had to be repaired, bridges rebuilt, connections restrung.
She figured it would be a suitable venture though. You can't just cut someone in half and expect to say "Opps, that was a silly choice, but I am over that, lets get things back how they were now."
His self esteem and self worth had been shredded, shattered. It would take time and care for Summer to repair them.
Marissa smiled at him shyly. She couldn't help but to ask the question. It was about her best friend after all.
"You're in love with her aren't you?"
Seth looked up at her, desperately trying not to show too much emotion. "…No."
Ryan and Marissa looked at each other. They both collected what they wanted from the answer.
Seth saw them both do that thing where they think that they know something that you don't.
He stood to go get some water, too angry and drained to try and talk his way out of what they thought. Maybe subconsciously he knew they had come to the right conclusion. Yea… he knew too.
That didn't mean he had to be happy about it…
"You know what, I'm really sick of feeling like this. Always feeling like crap, I never feel like doing anything. There is this perpetual aching that is just so annoying and draining. Its just crap." He filled a glass of water. "And I'm sick of constantly being rejected by her in absolutely anything I do… Everything I do."
Ryan and Marissa looked at each other in a regarded fashion. Maybe Marissa shouldn't have played the Love card.
"Why was she even with me in the beginning?" The words rebounded off walls of the pool house, resulting in the inability to ignore them, escape them.
Marissa breathed out worriedly. The undertones were shuffling up from beneath the murky water. She could read them loud and clear.
Seth was starting to question what they had. But even more so, he was starting to question Summer's feeling for him.
He took a long gulp of water. "But I mean this is probably for the best right? I mean I knew it couldn't last that long. Who was I even kidding in the first place? Remember that time at Cotillion?"
He shook his head at the thoughts, and at the ones that were surfacing. "Member the time where I asked her out, right at the beginning of the school year, and how a few cheerleaders walked past and she got all tense acting like she didn't know me."
He released a laboured huff, laughing at himself. "Nothing more self satisfying then being constantly rejected by her. Time after time, over and over." He took a gulp of water, moving over to lean against the wall.
"How about when I got up on the coffee cart? Cause only a fucking loser like me would do something like that."
There was silence.
"Yup, its great actually, cause then the holidays are coming up and we can go our separate ways." He nodded as if to coax himself into believing that.
Ryan and Marissa had nothing to say.
After a few moments, he shook his head in disgust. "I can't believe she dumped me because of her dad."
He took another gulp of water.
He looked at Marissa. "She is just…why did she – why couldn't she." He nodded. "Awesome."
An emphatic infant of a grin emerged on Seth's face. "You know if I was one with a masochistic heart, I think I would be in constant euphoria."
Marissa narrowed her eyes at his statement.
It was weird being on the other side. She was so used to being informed to their relationship through Summer's eyes that it felt like Seth was talking about a different relationship.
"Summer wasn't really like that to you, though." Marissa asked enquiringly. It was suppose to be a statement, not a question, but she really didn't have much of a clue what really went on with them behind closed doors.
Seth looked unsteadily at her for a moment. She could see Seth's tongue rolling along the front of his teeth.
He didn't answer. He just shrugged nonchalantly before walking towards the pool house exit. "I'm going to have a nap."
Marissa's head slowly moved to look at Ryan. "Well, Seth is definitely not doing so well."
Ryan simply nodded in agreement. "What was with him talking about the past week Seth, and you asking him about this week Seth, and all that."
Marissa bit her bottom lip tensely. "Well it's cause umm, - Summer has sort of accidently – she didn't mean to – but she has kind of made Seth fall off his rails. Like she has kind of unintentionally produced this wavering thought in his mind that he is not good enough, that the way he is, it doesn't quite fill all the gaps..." She ended softly. "If you know what I mean…"
Ryan nodded. A weird swirling thing harassed the pit of his stomach.
-
Marissa walked through the vast emptiness that was Summer's home. It was around 8 at night, and the house did not feel very comforting at all. She had decided to pay Summer a visit after that little debacle with Seth. The talk between Seth and Summer had really peaked her curiosity, and she wanted to check up on Summer personally, if anything just to keep her company.
She made her way upstairs, walking through the hallway to Summer's room. She knocked lightly before walking in.
Summer was lying down on her bed watching the valley, tissue box close by with a few used tissues discarded on the floor.
She sat up. "Hey Coop. I didn't know you were coming over." She tried wiping away any marks from her face.
Marissa quietly walked over to her taking a seat next to Summer on the bed. "Yeah, I thought you might like some company."
Summer smiled mouthing thank you. She moved over positioning her self so that she could lie down, resting her head in Marissa's lap.
They watched the happenings on the television for a while in silence. Marissa didn't need to say anything, she was just being there, waiting for Summer to talk when she so felt it fit.
The episode finished but neither moved. The remote sat idly by their side on the bed but neither made a move to collect it.
"I made a mistake." Summer said softly.
Marissa looked down at her. She silently stroked her hair soothingly curling it away from her face tucking it behind her ear.
"I shouldn't have treated him like that." She took in a deep breath.
"We had a talk today." She released the breath. "Like a huge talk, massive. It was very big." She said in a child like tone. It was the innocence that superseded the rest.
"So I heard." Marissa spoke softly.
Summer shifted her body to look up to Marissa. "You talked to Cohen?"
She nodded. "Yeah he was in the pool house when Ryan and I came back from school."
Summer sat up immediately. "What did he say?" She asked without skipping a beat.
Marissa smiled back empathetically. "You know I am not going to tell you."
Summer looked at her in anguish. "Coop please. I am begging you."
"You know I won't be able to. It was just a long senseless monologue. Ryan and I barely said anything."
"Cooo-oooop." Summer whined.
Marissa pursed her lips. "Summer you know anything I say will be out of context and will only cause you more trouble. And it's not fair on Seth."
Summer huffed up. "You are supposed to be my best friend."
"I am your best friend." Marissa sighed slighty giving in. "He is just hurting. He just doesn't get it."
Summer expression mitigated to soft. "O."
Marissa crossed her legs comfortably. "I think you just got to see where you both are at tomorrow."
Summer nodded solemnly. She moved over so that she was lying down once again in Marissa's lap. She grabbed the remote selecting the next episode. She wanted to know more about what Seth had said, but she was too tired drained and she knew Marissa was right. There was also a slithering feeling of panic that she might hear something that could have some serious potential to do damage.
"Just got to wait and see how things are tomorrow." Summer said softly.
So she lay silent, watching her T.V show, waiting for her eyelids to fall in concession.
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Tomorrow arrived, but Seth was no where to be found. One phone call was made. No reply.
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The day after found itself completed, and Summer had still not seen any sign of Seth. Two phone calls were made. No replies.
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And now was the last day of school…
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Yeah, you know this be fiction… Marissa's actually being a good friend.
Points go to anyone who can figure out the meaning of the chapter's title.
