Incoming

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Not even the computer I wrote it on.

Summary: Jess shows up at Richard and Emily's vow renewal. Luke has something to say about it. Rory is less than happy. Lorelai has to deal with Christopher. And the day is definitely not everything Emily hoped it would be.

Feedback: Reviews are fun. Like a barrel of monkeys. Why anyone would put monkeys in a barrel…I don't know, but it's supposedly a lot of fun.

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Rory just walked into her room after taking a shower, when the phone started to ring. "Paris! Can you get that?" When the ringing didn't stop she threw her clothes on the bed and wrapped her towel firmly around her. "I swear to God, Paris!" She yelled as she picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Ace."

"Logan. Hi. What's up?"

"Just wanted to apologize for running out so fast the other night."

"It's fine. I didn't stay long after that anyway." She shifted the phone to her other ear. "Listen, did you want something. This isn't really a good time."

"Oh, I didn't realize you were busy."

"No, I just got out of the shower. And for some reason Paris can't answer the damn phone." She added the last part loudly, for Paris's benefit.

"You free tonight?"

"Umm, listen. Logan. I can't do this."

"This?"

"The casual sex thing. It's just not me. I can't do it."

"Yea. I figured as much." He said, trying to hide his disappointment.

"You did?"

"C'mon, Ace."

She smiled. "Thanks, Logan."

"For what?"

"Just for understanding. So, I'll see you at the paper."

"See you later, Ace."

"Bye."

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"Hello?"

"Remember when you said if I needed something, to call you?"

"Yea, of course."

"I need something."

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Rory pulled the door open and smiled. "Oh, thank God."

"So what's the problem?" Jess asked.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. "Paris and Doyle have been going at it nonstop. I can't take anymore."

"You need me to save you from the sound of Paris having sex?"

"Desperately."

He smirked at her. "Grab a jacket."

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Rory and Jess were sitting on the steps of an empty building, somewhere in New Haven.

"…so Kirk ended up being the whore and he had to seduce Taylor."

"Please tell me there are pictures."

"Of course." She turned her head and looked around behind her. "Hey, listen."

He was silent for a minute then looked at Rory. "I don't hear anything."

She smiled at him. "Exactly."

"I'm glad you called."

"Yea. Me too."

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Lorelai knocked on Rory's dorm room door.

"Come in." A male voice called from inside.

Lorelai opened the door and saw Doyle sitting on the couch. "Hi! Hello. I'm sorry, do I have the wrong room?"

"I wouldn't know." He said.

Paris walked out of her room. "How delightful to have all of my towels used and then deposited in my hamper with my dry clothes to create a pungent musty combo. Hey, Lorelai."

"Paris, good, I have the right room."

"This is Rory's mother." Paris told Doyle

Lorelai leaned over to shake his hand. "Hi. Lorelai."

"I'm Doyle. Rory's editor."

"And my lover." Paris added.

"Okay, well, super." Lorelai said looking towards Rory's room.

"I don't think lover is exactly the correct term, Paris." Doyle said, ignoring Lorelai's comment.

"Really? What is the correct term, Doyle?"

"At a later time, Paris."

"Doyle and I haven't defined the social aspects of our relationship yet." Paris informed Lorelai

"Ah."

"Although we're having sex three or four times a week, so apparently the sexual aspects of our relationship are crystal freaking clear."

"Paris, I beg you."

"Is Rory here?" Lorelai asked. "Cause I could wait outside, or-"

"I'm making you uncomfortable." Paris stated.

Doyle nodded. "Yes."

"Her. Not you." Paris told him.

"No, I'm fine. You two should be alone."

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be talking about love, or sex, especially since you…"

"Since I…"

"Don't have any."

"Rory!" Lorelai yelled. "Are you here?

"Yeah, I'm just getting my coat!" She called from her room.

"Ah! Can I watch?"

"Oh, is Paris out there?"

"She sure is."

"Come on in."

"Nice meeting you, Doyle."

"Nice to meet you, too."

Lorelai quickly went into Rory's room.

Rory looked at her mother in the mirror, while putting lipstick on. "Sorry, I thought she and Doyle were indisposed."

"No, no, plenty of disposal going on."

Rory stood up and grabbed her coat. "Okay. Ready."

"This was a good idea, having dinner."

"Well, it is Friday night."

"Yeah, but Friday night dinner without Ava and Adolf. Lovely."

"It's really not fair calling Grandpa Adolf!" Rory said indignantly.

"No, no, that was Grandma."

"Oh."

They walked out into the common room.

"We're going." Rory announced.

Doyle who was standing near the fridge eating out of a giant bag of chips, looked over at her.

"Rory, are these your chips?"

"Yes, Doyle."

He put a few chips in his mouth. "Can I have some?"

"Knock yourself out, Doyle."

"Listen, Lorelai? If you decide that your breakup is something that you want to talk about, please let me know." Paris said.

"Okay, Paris."

"And let me know before Tuesday, because I'm doing a paper for my Emotional Mental Health class about how women of a certain age cope with loneliness, and I think you'd be a great lead-off anecdote."

A stunned Lorelai looks meaningfully at her daughter.

Rory frowned. "You can't take her. She's trained in Krav Maga."

"Damn it."

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Lorelai and Rory were sitting in the Yale cafeteria with trays of food and drinks. Rory raised her glass. "Here's to our very own special Friday night dinner."

"Hear, hear." Lorelai raised her glass and clinked it against Rory's, then looked at her food. "This stuff looks pretty good.

"It is." She took a bite of her food. "So what's going on at home?"

Lorelai gasped dramatically. "Big grapefruit shortage. The hurricanes wiped them out and Taylor is completely freaking out."

"I'm sure."

"And Patty and Babette are organizing Stars Hollow's first botox party."

"Are you invited?"

"Are you insinuating I should be?"

"So the Hollow's low on grapefruits."

"Uh-huh. And I'm doing costumes for the Stars Hollow Elementary School production of Fiddler on the Roof."

Rory looked at her meaningfully. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine. I swear. I'm getting better."

"No word from Luke?"

Lorelai sighed. "Not waiting on word from Luke."

"Okay."

"Anyhow, I'm fine. I mean, not that I'm over it, but little by little it's getting easier to pretend it's easier, which means easier must be right around the corner."

"I'm sure it is."

"And I'm working on getting down a new routine. I've settled on Weston's in the morning."

"Decent coffee, excellent strudel."

"Yeah. So, that's me. How are you?"

She pretended to think about it. "Hmm, well, I study, then study, then after a little study break, I study."

"Uh-huh. So, did you talk to Logan?"

"Yes I did."

"And?"

"He was fine with it. Completely understood."

"And Jess?"

"What about him?"

"Is he back for good?"

Rory shrugged. "I guess. He mentioned finding an apartment so he can get out of Luke's hair."

"Ahh. So you two have been talking?"

"Yea. He came by a few times when I couldn't handle listening to Paris and Doyle anymore, and we went out to eat, or just away from the sex noises. It was nice."

"You missed him."

"Since when are you so okay with Jess?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. He's not that awful."

"You do know that you just said something almost nice about Jess Mariano."

"I know. I need to go wash my mouth out with soap." She narrowed her eyes at Rory. "So, what else is going on that you're not telling me?"

"Umm, nothing that I can think of."

"You are such a bad liar."

"That's only 'because you know me too well."

"Uh, no. It's 'cause you're a bad liar. You do that blinking thing. Now talk."

She looked down at her hands and mumbled something.

"What?"

Rory looked up at her. "I got an e-mail from Dad."

"Oh, you did?" She asked, surprised. "Huh. When?"

"Monday."

"Only two weeks after the fact. Very speedy."

"I'm sure he was just nervous."

"You know, you don't need to hide that from me."

"Well, I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear about it, or hear Dad's name-"

"Hey, it's part of the whole 'moving on' thing, right? So what did he say?"

"He wanted to give me his side of the story."

"Oh, well. Unless his side of the story includes having his long-lost evil twin lock him in the closet and come to the wedding in his place, his side of the story doesn't exist."

"He said it was all a misunderstanding."

Lorelai looked angry. "What?"

"He said the only reason he came was to celebrate Grandma and Grandpa's vow renewal."

"And 'cause Adolf told him to."

"He says he likes Luke."

"Yeah, he's proven that."

"He just wants you to be happy."

"So, he got me dumped."

"And, basically that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding."

"You know, the more he defends himself, the more he needs to defend himself."

Rory looked panicked. "Hey, do you think Grandpa knew about it?"

"About Christopher coming?"

"Do you think he planned it with Grandma?"

"Look how panicked you are. No, honey, honestly, the whole thing reeks of Emily. I mean, not that I think he would have discouraged it, but I'm pretty sure she's the one who poisoned the apple and gave it to Dopey to bring to the party."

"Yeah."

Two girls holding their heads and looking sick sat down at their table.

"Oh my God." One of them said.

The other groaned. "Never again."

"Never, never again."

Lorelai leaned towards Rory. "See, we are at the cool table." She said quietly, causing Rory to give her a funny look. "I'm telling you, if she throws up you're golden."

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Lorelai and Rory were walking through the Yale courtyard. "All right, honey. Thank you for dinner." Lorelai said.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I should get back."

"Okay. You can come in and watch T.V. for a while if you want."

"It's okay."

"You can even stay over if you don't feel like driving back."

"Are there monsters under your bed again?"

"I'm just saying."

"Look, Miss Nightingale. I appreciate your concern. And the offer to spend the night is much nicer than the suggestion that I shut my mouth, but I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Big girl."

"Yeah. It's still new."

"Angel, I have been dumped before."

"Not by Luke."

"No, not by Luke. But a dump is a dump. The process is still the same. Don't worry, Mom's cool."

She nodded. "I know Mom's cool."

"Cause you heard about the table?"

Rory smiled. "Exactly."

"All right, kid, I'll see you later."

"Okay, bye."

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Paris walked to the door and pulled it open. She looked expectantly at the person on the other side.

"Paris."

"Jess."

"Is Rory here?"

"Yes."

"Can I go talk to her?"

"Sure. Rory can have guests whenever she wants." She said angrily.

"Okay." He walked inside and straight to Rory's room.

"You better keep your shoes on!" Paris yelled as he was closing the door.

Rory looked up from her book and smiled. "Hey."

"She's insane."

"You know, I actually knew that." She put the book on her dresser. "And to what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

He handed her a to-go container from the diner. "Cheeseburger."

"Ooh, I have been dying for Luke's food." She opened the container and took a bite of the burger. "Oh my God." She looked around for somewhere to spit it out.

Jess pulled a paper bag out of his pocket and held it in front of her. "Here."

She spit the food into the bag. "That is disgusting. Why would you feed that to me?"

"Luke isn't doing too good."

"Well give me ten minutes and I won't be either. I think I need medical attention. You are cruel."

"He's been throwing customers out. Literally."

"Oh my God."

"And all the food is burnt or tastes like crap. He's miserable."

She sighed. "This whole thing is just…I don't know. I don't know what to do. Mom pretends that she's fine. My grandparents are mad because Mom won't go to Friday Night Dinner. My dad keeps saying it was just a big misunderstanding. And Luke's suddenly lost all culinary and social skills."

"And on top of all that, you're probably gonna die from eating that burger."

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Lane winced as she watched Luke kick the oven, causing the door to fall off. Two weeks she thought to herself. She grabbed a plate of…something, and carried it to Kirk. "Here's your pancakes…I think."

"Thank you, Lane. It looks very appetizing." He took a bite and tried not to look disgusted. "Mmm. Very good. My complements to the chef."

Lane nodded and walked over to Jess, who was pouring coffee. "Please ask Luke to let you cook. I am begging you."

"Oh, wow. A reason to go near the psycho. I think I'll pass."

She growled at him. "You are an awful person."

"Excuse me, miss?" A customer called.

Lane turned around. "Can I help you?"

"Sorry to be a pest, but I asked for my omelet soft. This is way overdone." He said.

"Shh. Not so loud." She warned him.

When Luke stormed over and opened the door, the customer looked up at him. "You should probably make me another–" He was cut off when Luke grabbed him under the arms and threw him into the street then proceeded to slam the door.

"How's everyone else's eggs, huh?" He asked angrily.

The rest of the customers looked down at their food. "Great."

"Umm," Kirk said. "I don't have eggs. I have pancakes."

"Oh no." Lane said under her breath.

When Luke started towards him, Kirk's eyes went wide. "They are really good though. In f-fact they are the best pancakes I've e-ever h-h-had." He let out a sigh of relief when Jess stepped in front of Luke.

"You need to chill out. I get it that you're decidedly pissed at the world, but you need to stop."

"Move. Actually, get out of my diner. All of you. Out!"

Kirk was the first out the door, followed closely by the rest of the customers. Lane hesitated for a minute, but also left.

Luke went behind the counter. "Get out, Jess."

"What the hell is wrong you? You literally threw a woman with a walker out the door. You need to get over it"

"Well, at least I haven't been driving 20 miles just to make puppy dog eyes, and hope she'll fall back into my arms."

"You are aware that you broke up with her? So if you're looking for her to fall back in your arms maybe you should work on those eyes." He shook his head. "You know, it took me a long time to figure out why you went out with Nicole. And the marriage. Wow. But for a long time I couldn't figure out why you would even give her a passing glance, I mean she is the exact opposite of Lorelai. Then I realized it was because she's the exact opposite of Lorelai. You wanted to prove that you didn't need her. That you could have your own life without her in it. But you were wrong." He sighed. "I don't get it. You waited for her for eight years. Eight years, Luke. That's insane. And now you're just gonna let her go because she made one mistake? I really don't understand." He paused. "And it's 22.8 miles."

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Luke was sitting at one of the tables in the diner with his head in his hands. He looked up when the bell above the door rang. "We're clos-"

Emily was standing next to the door. "Hello, Luke."

"What do you want?"

She walked over the table and sat across from him. "My daughter and I aren't speaking. She won't take my calls, she won't come to dinner. She apparently wants nothing to do with me." She paused. "I'm sure you know that Lorelai and I have had many battles. Most of them have been because I feel that I know what's best for her. But Lorelai has her own ideas about what she thinks will make her happy. She wants you, Luke. She's made her choice, God help her, but there it is. It doesn't matter if I agree with it, I can't fight it. You've won. Go back to her. I promise I will stay out of it". Without another word, she got up and walked out the door.

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Lorelai was sitting on the couch in her living room, watching a movie. Judy Garland was singing on the screen. "The night is bitter. The stars have lost their glitter. The winds grow colder, suddenly you're older, and all because of the man that got away."

She looked up when she heard someone knocking on the door. She walked over and pulled it open. Luke just looked at her for a minute then he walked in, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Lorelai reached out and pushed the door shut.

"No more his eager call, the writing's on the wall, the dreams you've dreamed have all gone astray."

A/N: I think I made Logan a little too nice. I don't know. Tell me what you think about it because I can't decide.

A/N 2: For those of you who are bothered by the fact that so much of this is straight out of the episode, this should be the last chapter like that. A lot of them will have some stuff out of the episodes but not nearly as much as the last few chapters did.