--- Hm... I'm not entirely sure why it's been OVER A YEAR since this was updated. Especially considering I have to chapter eight just chilling on Maccy.
This year somehow really got away from me, and I received a false memory implant that I had already finished uploading all of this.
Boy was I wrong.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Yugioh, or any of the songs in here. ---
Chapter Five:
In the Shadow Realm
Last time on Random Events: Seto sent them to fix Kaiba Corp., Bakura sent them to the Shadow Realm, and they sent Andrew Yani to the Funny Farm.
Yugi and Malik's search for Marik lead them back to the park, where they found the yami hiding in a bush.
"Hey Marik," called Yugi, "Bakura's gone!"
"Really?" Marik asked timidly coming out of his hiding spot.
"Yeah," said Malik, "Yugi sent him to the Shadow Realm."
"How?"
Yugi and Malik shrugged.
"Does this mean we're the only three left?" asked Malik.
"Looks like it," said Marik.
"Let's go home then." Malik said to his darker, and much more psychotic, half.
"Can I come with you?" asked Yugi, not wanting to be left alone in the clutches of the Authoress.
"Why not?"
So they went to Malik's house, where Laria and Yani were.
"Laria," Yugi whined, "We're bored again."
"I know," sighed the Authoress, "It's hard to write a story with only three people and—"
"Oh, nice bruise there," Malik interrupted poking the black and blue mark on Laria's upper arm.
"OWW!" Laria exclaimed covering up the bruise with one hand, "Didn't anyone teach you not to poke other people's bruises! Baka!"
"Sorry!"
"That looks painful," Yugi said examining it, "How'd you get it?"
"Marik threw a piece of ice at me."
"Oh, I remember that now," Marik chuckled.
"Ice did that to you!"
"Yup," Laria grinned, "I also got bruises on my leg and side."
Laria showed them off.
"Where'd you get those?"
"Either fighting with Marik," Laria mused, "Or I beat myself up in my sleep."
"Oh."
Laria abruptly punched Malik in the arm.
"Oww!" Malik cowered, "What was that for!"
"Come tell me when you get a bruise so I can poke it," said Laria.
"Ok," whimpered Malik.
"Good," Laria said with an evil grin.
"Well that's all well and good but," Yugi took a deep breath and yelled: "WE'RE STILL BORED!"
Yani glared at Yugi.
"Well maybe if you hadn't sent my Baku-koi to the Shadow Realm—"
"If he hadn't sent Bakura to the Shadow Realm we'd all be there!" Yugi interjected.
"At least there'd be more people to work with," sighed Laria.
"Is that all you think about?"
"Yes," growled Laria, "I care about pleasing my fans."
"Ow, ow, ow..." Malik whimpered again.
"I can't work with you guys anymore," Laria rolled her eyes. "I'm going to the Shadow Realm."
---(--)---
In the Shadow Realm...
Atemu and Ryou were dueling.
"I activate Dust Tornado and your Ouija Board!" said Atemu.
"No! My DEATH messages!" exclaimed Ryou.
"Now Dark Magician!" cried Atemu, "Attack!"
"I'm always one card short," Ryou sang as the Shadow Game disappeared because he had lost, "Always one day late, for once I'd like an ending I could celebrate."
"The only reason I sent you guys here is so I didn't have to listen to those stupid songs," Bakura grumbled.
"Shouldn't have pissed off my light then," Atemu said smugly.
"How was I supposed to know the runt could send me to the Shadow Realm!?" Bakura yelled, "Damn him."
Ryou, Atemu and Seto snickered. Bakura glared at them growling.
"'Kura!" Yani appeared out of nowhere pulling the white haired spirit into a tight hug.
"Ack!" Bakura gasped having been caught off guard "How the hell did you get here?"
"We're the Authoresses we can do anything we want," Laria grinned evilly also appearing out of nowhere. "Remember?"
"I remember." Ryou said unenthusiastically, recalling a certain embarrassing cross dressing incident the Authoress had pulled off.
"So where's everyone else?" Seto asked.
"Well there were only three left and they're in the real world..."
---(--)---
In the real world...
Yugi, Malik and Marik were sitting around.
"Why couldn't she take us with her?" Malik asked staring up at the ceiling out of boredom.
"Because she's mean, evil, iniquitous, wicked, unfair, unjust, unfeeling, merciless, pitiless, cruel, spiteful, vindictive, bitter, hurtful, insensitive, thoughtless, selfish, egotistical, self-centered, and heartless." Yugi sighed.
"You could have just saved your breath and said she's a Kaiba," said Malik.
"True."
"I miss my 'Kura lover!" Marik said cantankerously.
"I thought Yani was you're lover." Yugi said confused.
"Bakura's his other lover" Malik clarified.
Yugi blinked.
"Ewww…"
---(--)---
Back in the Shadow Realm...
"So, Laria, friend, pal," Bakura placed an arm around the Authoresses shoulders, "Can you get us out?"
"Yes," Laria said picking Bakura's arm off her shoulder, "But why would I?"
"Pweez Lar," Seto begged giving his sister big puppy dog eyes.
"Arg," Yani made a face, "That's sickening."
"Yeah, I know," Laria smacked Seto in the back of the head with her Notebook. "Stop it Kaiba."
"Fine," Seto pouted, rubbing the back of his head.
"Hephalumps and wozles are very confuzles," Atemu sang spontaneously "hephalumps and wozles very sly sly sly sly, they come in one or twozles and if they so choozles, before your eyes you'll see them multiply"
Bakura growled and threw the Millennium Eye at Atemu, hitting him square in the forehead. Atemu fell over instantly knocked out.
"See Bakura," Laria scolded, "That's why I'm not letting you out of the Shadow Realm."
Bakura grumbled and went off the sit in some random part of the Shadow Realm.
"Pansy." Atemu said, getting up off the ground, shaking his head at the Tomb Robber.
"I heard that Pharaoh!" Bakura yelled back to them.
"Would have been wasted if you didn't!"
Bakura grumbled some more.
"Hikari, can we go home now?" Yani asked, "I don't like the Shadow Realm."
"Alright."
Yani and Laria disappeared.
---(--)---
In the real world...
Yani and Laria appear.
"Welcome back." Malik said tearing his eyes away from the ceiling for once.
"Where's my 'Kura-koi?" Marik asked irritably.
"Oh fine!" Laria snapped her fingers and Bakura appeared.
"'KURA!" Marik exclaimed jumping up and grabbing Bakura's arm.
"What I wasn't even gone an hour."
"So?"
Marik dragged Bakura off to his room followed by Yani.
"Ok you guys have to take a break now," Laria said turning to the only two left.
"What about the others?" asked Yugi.
"Oh they're safe now that Bakura's gone." Laria said, "And anyways I have to practice my Sax."
"Be kind to your web-footed friends." Sang Malik, "For a duck may mother, be kind to your friends from the swamp! Or where ever it is damp-"
"Oh be quiet," Laria sighed, "I haven't killed a duck since 6th grade, five years ago!"
"Poor ducks," Malik pouted.
"Well, see ya," Laria said as she left the Ishtar house, Malik singing after her.
"Dun dun dun another one bites the dust, dun dun dun another one bites the dust..."
--- Anime Milhouse is a jerk! ---
