The Great Exchange
By TheCrackShipper
Summary: AU It is War. The Five Great Nations are pitted against each other. The Tailed Beasts are prowling the night, destroying lives and adding to the Chaos. Alliances must be made. An arranged marriage fic of epic proportions.
Pairings: Ino/Gaara Sakura/Neji Sasuke/Hinata Temari/Naruto Tenten/Kankuro and one surprise pairing
Thanks to sshhhhhhhhh and Wedgits for the reviews!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Haruno Sakura smelled trouble. She smelled it from the moment she entered the Godaime Hokage's office. Tsunade's demure expression was a dead give away.
Naruto had called her up, saying that Tsunade wanted all three of them to report to her office. It was strange, considering Sakura, one of the few medical ninja still alive, was constantly needed on the battle field.
Another indication towards strange happenings was the others now standing erect, in the circular office.
Hyuuga Hinata
Hyuuga Hanabi
Hyuuga Neji
Yamanaka Ino
Tenten
Nara Shikamaru
It was disconcerting really. She was aware that the negotiations with Suna had been a success, but what did she have to do with the Suna negotiations?
"If any of you says one word about what I am about to tell you I will punch a hole through you're esophagus," Tsunade smiled sweetly, no indication that she had threatened disembowelment on some of her best ninjas.
Hyuuga Neji raised his eyebrows. Whatever it was she wanted them to do he knew they wouldn't like it.
"As most of you know the Suna negotiations were a success," Tsunade announced, hands crossed on the desk, "This alliance with Suna shall require a blood tie,"
Naruto swallowed. Ino looked outraged. Sasuke's eyes had widened a smidgen.
"Yamanaka Ino, Tenten," Both girls straightened up. Ino was livid. Tenten appeared ready to puke.
"Ino you are set to marry the future Kazekage of Suna, Gaara of the Sand," The blonde staggered, blinking rapidly, the only reason she had not shouted to the heavens was the threat of a damaged esophagus held over her head.
"Tenten, you are set to marry Gaara's brother, Kankuro of the Sand," The weapons mistress, to control her anger, was breaking senbon in half.
"Naruto," The blonde, still gaping openmouthed at Ino and Tenten, turned to the fifth Hokage, fear in his electric blue eyes, "Sand is sending over Gaara's older sister, Temari of the Sand, the minute Ino marries Gaara and you marry Temari, both you and Gaara will be made leaders of your villages, the rest of the war will be in your hands."
Naruto clenched his fist, and bit his lip.
"I suppose the rest of you are wondering why you're here?" she turned to the still single members of the room.
"I'm sure you're all aware that the Hyuuga line and the Uchiha line have nearly vanished,"
Neji clenched his fist. Hinata turned her head away, Sasuke scowled visibly.
"Well we're gonna fix that now," Tsunade said bluntly , "Hinata you are no longer clan leader, as you shall be married to Uchiha Sasuke here," she indicated Sasuke. "Neji you are now leader of the Hyuuga clan, say hello to Lady Hyuuga Sakura,"
Hinata meeped. Sakura made a slight strangled sound.
"I'm expecting lots of babies you four,"
Four cherry red faces stared back at her.
"Now Shikamaru you can speak, because I would like to hear your argument," Tsunade turned to the lazy pineapple haired ninja who seemed completely unfazed by this turn of events. She was about to fix that.
"Say hello to you're fiancée, Nara-san," she indicated the 13 year old Hyuuga Hanabi. Shikamaru stared at her in a dazed horror.
"Are you serious," he tried to keep his voice level, "She's 13, I'm 18," Hanabi did not appear too pleased by this new twist.
"I'm not telling you to sleep with her Shikamaru," Two more cherry red faces were added to the bunch.
"You won't be married until she's 18 and your 23," she explained, "I'm just telling you to know that you are no longer single Nara,"
Shikamaru rubbed his temples, "Why me!"
Tsunade held up a finger,
"One you're one of the nobler clans in Konoha,"
"Two you're the greatest strategist Konoha's ever seen,"
"Three I'd like to see some Byakugan-using strategists,"
He was silent now; his cheeks flushed a faint pink.
Tsunade sighed, "You may all speak now,"
Six angry 18 year olds, Two 19 year olds, and a 13 year old descended on her desk like swooping bats.
"GAARA OF THE SAND!" Ino shrieked.
"I'M 13!" Hanabi howled.
"HYUUGA NEJI? I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH THOSE PSYCHO CLANS!"
Tsunade slammed her desk, breaking it in two. They were silent, reminded of their love for their esophagi.
"Now that's better," she said sweetly, "All Konoha couple excluding the Nara's," Hanabi flinched, "Shall be married in two weeks time, Suna girls shall be leaving in one week's time, Temari is arriving in two weeks time," Naruto flinched.
"Get it, Got it, Good," Tsunade eyed them dangerously, "You're shinobi, you know what you must do," her voice was quiet and they all nodded, pride coursing through their veins.
"Dismissed,"
The new couples shuffled out of the room, too stunned to make any more comment.
Tsunade reached under her desk and took a swig of sake. A few more weeks and Naruto would be at this desk, and she'd never have to deal with this crud again.
A/N: Please Review?
