Disclaimer: See ch. 1
Spoilers: Through 14
A/N: Thanks so much for all of the wonderful reviews! And thanks to everyone who's still reading, I love you guys. If you haven't been keeping up with Between the Lines, go read that now. Chapter 8 is the confrontation between Trotter and the Rangemen from Tank's POV. Best way to get reviews? Write a cliffhanger! LOL. So, here's Just Life. Ummm….don't hate me?
Previously in Just Life:
Would I have that reunion? Would I wake up with Ranger's strong arms around me? Or would the next time I saw him be in a field filled with stones, his perfect face hidden inside of a pine box?
I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep right there on Ranger's sofa with the song from the movie's closing credits playing on into my dreams.
The first thing I registered were the voices. God, I thought, not this again. But it was sleep this time that was bogging me down, not drugs; and when I was finally able to peel my eyelids open, I saw that I was on Ranger's couch, the TV was still on, and it was morning.
I was up and on my feet in a moment. I practically ran to the bedroom. I froze at the sight of the empty, un-slept-in bed. He wasn't here. The bathroom was equally as empty as the bedroom, as was the office.
I guess I'd known that he wouldn't be here the minute I'd realized I was still on the couch. Ranger wouldn't have left me there. He'd said he wanted to come home to me in his bed. If he'd found me asleep on the couch, he would have moved me to the bed.
I turned to glance at the clock; maybe it was still too early. 9:30. Oh God.
I was out the door and in the elevator in a minute. The whole way down to five, I willed the thing to move faster.
Maybe he's just in his office, I told myself. In my heart, I knew that my hope was in vain.
I was out the doors before they'd fully opened. I slid to a stop in front of two Merry Men I didn't know.
"Where's Ranger?"
"He's at the hospital, ma'am."
I was running for the elevator even before he finished speaking.
"But, ma'am…"
It wasn't until I got to the garage that I realized I had no car keys.
My eyes caught on one of the emergency Rangeman SUVs. They were always left unlocked, maybe… Bingo! The keys were in the ignition.
I turned the thing on and swung out of the parking spot. The gate flew up all by itself right before I would have rammed it.
Now, here's the thing about panic, it makes all of your other thought processes shrivel up and die. I don't remember anything about the drive to the hospital. I don't remember stopping for red lights, or slowing for turns. All I know is that I made the 12 minute drive in about six.
I left the car in the half-circle driveway, keys in the ignition. The door might have been open, too, who knows. All I knew was that if someone wanted that vehicle, they could have at it.
I skipped check-in and all those pleasantries and went straight to the ICU. The nurse behind the desk looked up at me with wide eyes and cleared her throat.
"Can I help you?"
"I'm looking for Ricardo Carlos Manoso," I said, giving her Ranger's full name.
"I'm sorry, our systems are down right now. Some virus or something. Records for anyone checked in after noon yesterday are inaccessible."
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I opened them again, she was watching me with concerned, grey eyes.
"He would have come in late last night or, um, early this morning."
"What was he checked in for?" She asked.
Shit. I had no idea. I hadn't paused long enough in the control room to find out.
"Umm, gunshot wound, or a knife wound, or…"
"Ahh," she said and the concern changed to dismay. "He came in with that gang fight, yes?"
I nodded. I guess to an outsider, it would have looked like a gang war.
"Those gangs," she sighed sadly. "I hear two cops almost died last night trying to break it up."
Cops? Shit, Stephanie, focus. I shook my head.
"He's not a cop."
"Tell me what he looks like, dear," she said with a degree of pity.
"Tall," I said, trying to control my growing panic. "About six two. Long black hair, dark brown eyes, warm brown skin. Latino."
Her head was shaking and her eyes were sad. My heart slammed against my ribcage.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I hate to be the one to tell you, but I do remember him. Fine looking man. Came in with two gunshot wounds to the chest." Her eyes found mine and I took an involuntary step back. "He didn't make it. One of his men identified him this morning. I'm so sorry for your loss, dear."
She kept talking, but I didn't hear a word of it. My ears were ringing, my head swimming, all I could hear were the words 'didn't make it' and 'sorry for your loss' repeating over and over again. Those words meant that he was…that Ranger was…
I stumbled away until my legs found a chair, then I collapsed into it, letting gravity pull my head between my knees. I was going to be sick. An errant thought entered my head, pointing out that it was a good thing I hadn't eaten breakfast. I wasn't sure I could ever eat again.
The clanging in my head gradually lessened, but the hollow, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach did not subside. It roiled and burned, all at the same time, somehow making the horror even that much more real. I couldn't deny the actual physical pain this revelation was causing me. Ranger…
No. No, no, no, no, no.
The word repeated over and over again in my mind as if the word itself could stop all of this from being real. It couldn't. Ranger was dead.
I pulled myself upright and wrapped my arms around my middle as a sob wracked my body. Then another. And another. If I let go, I knew, I would crumble into millions of tiny pieces.
Ranger was gone. Never again would I see the blank face, or the evil smirk, or the lascivious wolf grin. I'd never again feel his arms around me or feel his warm hand on the back of my neck. That tingle that came only with his presence was silenced forever. He'd never try to lock me up again, never assign men to follow me against my will. He'd never kill for me again, I though with a shudder. He'd never die for me, because he was already…
God, it hurt. It hurt more than I ever imagined it could. It hurt so deep down that my soul itself must have been bleeding. How could I long so intensely even for those parts of him which drove me up the wall? Easy, my mind answered, You love him, faults and all. Love him. No, loved him. Ranger…
I didn't realize that my face was wet with tears until someone used a tissue to wipe them away.
A hand rubbed my back and I clutched myself tighter.
'Don't touch me!' I wanted to yell. 'You're not him.' But there was no way my voice was finding its way past the sobs.
He wasn't gone…couldn't be…not now, not when we'd just…Oh God, no.
I was vaguely aware of a voice in my ear, low and soft and just a tad bit urgent.
"Cupcake."
My brain registered the word through the haze of sorrow and my body shied away from the touch that went with it.
"Cupcake, breath."
But I couldn't. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't speak. Could barely hold my own head up.
When I finally forced my eyes up, Joe was sitting in the plastic hospital chair beside me, his hand on my shoulder, his face a mask of concern.
"Get…get away," I rasped, scooting out from under his hand and into the next chair.
"Are you okay, cupcake? I mean, I know you care about the guy, but…"
If I could have gotten my hand up, I would have slapped him. As it was, I gasped in indignation.
"How dare you! I…I…I loved him, and now he's…"
"Bombshell?"
I spun around at the sound of Bobby's voice. Oh, the reminder of Ranger stung, but it was so good to see a friendly, familiar face. I was up and out of my chair in a moment, flinging myself into Bobby's chest.
His arms came up around me slowly and he patted my back.
"Please, bomber, you need to breathe."
"I…I…I need to s-see him, B-Bobby."
I couldn't see his face, because mine was buried in his chest – and even if it hadn't been, the tears were obstructing my vision just fine on their own – but I could imagine the pain there as he froze for a moment.
"Uh, okay. But you need to calm down, bombshell." He took my shoulders and moved me away from him. "Breathe, Steph. That's it, deep breaths. Everything's going to be okay."
Everything was not going to be okay. Ranger was gone. Dead. He'd left me.
The tears started again and I took deep, shuddering breaths, trying to suppress them.
Bobby pulled me into his side, my face in his shoulder and rubbed my back with his free hand. "Come on, bomber. I'll take you to him."
I kept my head glued to Bobby's shoulder as we moved slowly down a hallway or twelve. I'd lost count as soon as we'd started walking. We paused so Bobby could open a door. He walked me forward a few paces, then stepped away from me.
"It's okay, bombshell. You can open your eyes now."
It wasn't okay. It would never be okay again, because the other half of my heart was lying dead on a bed in this very room. I couldn't open my eyes, couldn't force myself to see Ranger—big, strong, perfect Ranger—still and unmoving, never to move again.
I felt hands on my shoulders, then Bobby's voice was at my ear.
"Steph, really, he's had worse."
My eyes flew open.
"He's had wor…"
The angry words froze in my throat as I looked down at the bed. Tank lay there, eyes closed, huge chest moving up and slowly down, tubes and wires sticking out everywhere.
"He got one to the chest, and one to the back. They missed anything major, but the docs had to go in and get them out. He'll be fine, bomber, really."
All I could do was blink. I'd been ready, I thought, to see Ranger lying there in that bed, still and cold. The sense of relief was so overwhelming that I would have collapsed had Bobby's arms not chosen that moment to come around my waist. How could Bobby have thought I was talking about Tank?
Then the tears began to pour out anew. I'd have to do it all over again. I'd have to force myself to move, and then open my eye and see Ranger…
"R-Ranger," I gasped, unable to force anything else out.
"Oh," Bobby's face was blank again as he replied evenly. "He's in the next room."
I repeated the horrible blind walk with Bobby. By now, my head was swimming again and all I could hear was the buzzing in my ears. Bobby might have tried to talk to me, but I heard nothing.
I felt him open a door, and I knew that we were in another room by the change in the atmosphere. The air was closer here, more stifling. I wanted to run out screaming.
I kept my eyes closed until Bobby deposited me somewhere in the middle of the room.
"Bombshell?"
But I was already opening my eyes, gasping at what was in front of me.
The skin was too white, the shoulders too narrow, the face too round. Red hair pooled on the pillow instead of black. Hal.
"Bu-but…"
"Babe?"
I froze before turning slowly to the back of the room. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. But it sounded like him, it…
There he was, slouched down in a padded grey hospital chair, eyelids drooping, but otherwise unharmed.
My hand flew to my mouth as a sob escaped and the tears fell unchecked down my cheeks.
"Babe? What is it?"
All I could do was shake my head as I moved slowly across the room to him.
He sat up straighter, his arms opening to me, and I fell into them, into him. He was solid and warm and clearly alive. He nodded to something behind me, and I vaguely registered the sound of a door shutting.
"Shhh," Ranger murmured, hands stroking down my hair and back. "Why the tears, babe?"
"Th-the nurse. She…she t-t-told me you were d-dead."
Apparently that was all Ranger needed because he crushed me to him and pressed his face into my hair, inhaling deeply. And though his arms were so tight around me that it was almost painful, I could finally breathe again.
"Oh, God, babe. I'm fine. I'm right here. I'm fine. I'm right here." He repeated the mantra until the tears stopped and I could breath normally again. Then he pulled back and looked into my eyes.
"I tried to call you to let you know I was here, but you didn't answer. Tank and Hal got hit and I had to stay with them. I'm so sorry, Stephanie." He pressed his forehead to mine and his eyes slid shut. "I am so sorry. I don't know who she was talking about. Must have been one of Trotter's men. Most of them didn't fare so well."
"Are…are Tank and Hal…"
Ranger pulled back and looked over at Hal on the bed. "Tank will be fine, he's just drugged up from surgery. Hal took one to the abdomen, through and through, and one nicked his carotid. He lost a lot of blood." Ranger shook his head sadly. "It's been touch and go. We're just hoping he'll wake up soon." His eyes moved from Hal and settled back on me. "Are you going to be okay, babe? I'm so sorry I scared you."
Oh, God. Ranger wasn't dead. He was here holding me, very much alive. I was going to kill that nurse. And Morelli…
I pitched Morelli from my mind like the garbage that he was, and focused back on Ranger.
I placed on hand on either side of his face. His beard had grown in a bit overnight and the stubble tickled my fingers and palms. There were dark circles beneath his eyes and one of his lips was cracked. I placed a gentle kiss on each eye, then on his lip.
Ranger moaned and held me tighter.
"Are you really gonna be okay, amada?" He whispered.
I nodded against his lips.
"Good. Because as much as I love having you here, maybe you should go home and change. What goes for Lester goes for the rest of Trenton, as well."
It was only then that I glanced down and realized that I was barefoot, wearing only Ranger's t-shirt and my red panties.
"Oops."
"Babe."
"They told me you were at the hospital and I didn't know…"
"You thought I was hurt," he finished softly.
I nodded.
"So you sped over here half-naked to see me."
I nodded again.
There was a small Ranger sigh, then, "I love you, babe."
I froze.
"What?"
Ranger's eyes flew to mine, and then his face was blank and I felt like crying all over again.
"What?" He echoed.
"Did you just…What did you say?"
He looked at a spot over my left shoulder.
"Nothing."
"Ranger." I tugged his face back to mine. "Did you mean it?"
He didn't answer, just continued to stare at me, looking almost…scared?
"Ranger? Is this like before? How you love me in your own way, the way that comes with a condom and not a ring. Because…"
"No," he answered immediately. "And yes, I meant it, babe. I've meant it for a long time now. But you don't have to say anything. We can just drop it."
He started to push me gently off of him, but I shoved as hard as I could on his shoulders until he stilled.
"I love you, too," I practically whispered.
Funny how easy the words came when I was talking to Ranger. I'd had to practically force them out for Joe.
There was that fear in his eyes again. "Really?"
I couldn't help the wide smile that graced my own face then.
"Really, really."
His eyes absolutely lit up.
"So, this isn't like last time?" I asked cautiously.
He shook his head. "No, but we'll talk about that later."
He stood, bringing us both to our feet, and grabbed my hand.
"Come with me. Now."
He tugged me into his arms as we left the room and headed down a nearly deserted hallway. I couldn't keep up with the twists and turns, because his warm breath in my ear and his hands on my hips were making it difficult to concentrate.
He paused at the open door to an empty exam room and shoved me gently inside. He locked the door after shutting it and turned back to me, his eyes dark and predatory.
"I need to be inside of you," he said, his voice low and smooth as velvet. He stalked steadily towards me.
I'm pretty sure I let out a moan.
"I missed you so much last night. The only thing that kept me sane was knowing that you were safe and waiting for me."
"Oh, God," I gasped as he trapped me up against the back wall, his hands planted on either side of my face.
"Close. But you can call me Carlos," he said with a full-on wolf grin.
Then his lips were on mine, starting off rough and demanding, and slowing down to an intensely passionate mating of tongues. His hips rocked into mine, the hard evidence of his arousal very apparent against my core, and all the breath left my lungs in a rush.
"I missed you, too," I whispered when our lips parted.
He groaned deeply against my throat, then his lips were moving downwards, biting and nipping; his tongue laving over each new mark.
"What…what if someone comes in?" I asked through a dark haze of passion.
"Locked it," Ranger replied, his hands already at the hem of the large t-shirt, pulling it up and over my head.
"They m-might have keys."
Ranger didn't answer. He was too busy staring avidly at my bare chest. He growled low in his throat, then his hands and lips were on me, tugging and sucking, bringing the sizzle in my blood to a slow boil.
"Carlos," I moaned.
"That's right, babe." His hot eyes caught mine and his grin was devastating. "We're going to do this, and it's going to be good."
Then I couldn't think as he pulled off my panties and moved his hands downwards. I gasped at the first touch, my head spinning with the sensations, my toes curling against the cold tile.
Ranger was naked before I could get my head wrapped around what was happening, and then he picked me up and set me down on the paper-covered exam table.
"Carlos, please."
"I love it when you beg, babe."
He spread my thighs, placing each foot on a stirrup and I didn't think I'd ever be able to look at my OBGYN office in the same way.
"Mmmm," Ranger hummed as his magical fingers found my core, and his lips latched onto one peaked nipple.
I moaned and threw my head back, lost in him, in the sensations he was creating.
Then he was kneeling on the floor, his head between my legs and I was gone, off into space, bursting into particles of light and feeling.
He was hovering over me when I finally came back down, his smile languid, his eyes holding such depth of emotion that I felt like crying.
"Now," I said, tugging him forward by his forearms. "In me. Please."
"As you wish, m'lady," he whispered, and entered me on one hard thrust.
His hands were on my hips, holding me in place, his hips surging and retreating in a dance as old as time. All I could do was wrap my legs around his waist and pray for my eternal soul, because surely anything this miraculous was against some divine law.
The friction was almost too much after my orgasm. I was absolutely shaking as Ranger leaned down and captured my lips with his. His fingers interlaced with mine, one on each side of my head, and his thrusts slowed, drawing out the pleasure, making the moment more intimate than anything I'd ever experienced in my life. I rejoiced in every inch of him, felt each ridge as he pushed slowly in and withdrew with just as much control. But I didn't want control; not right now, anyway. I wanted Ranger, the real Ranger, out of control, just as lost to sensation as I was.
I clenched my inner muscles around him and sucked his tongue into my mouth. He groaned and his hips picked up the pace, almost of their own accord.
"Dios, amada," he growled, and pulled me into his arms, our chests pressed tightly together. "Te amo. Te amo más que nada."
I'm pretty sure it was his words and what I knew they must mean that set me over the edge. I gasped his name as the pleasure coalesced, then his lips were on mine, stifling both of our voices as the mother of all orgasms swept through me and I felt him shudder and spill deep, deep inside of me.
He was still inside of me, still holding me close when heaven disappeared and the room reformed around us.
"Babe," he breathed.
"Batman."
He laughed as he slid out of me and surveyed the evidence of our lovemaking.
Our clothes were strewn around the room in disarray. I could feel that the paper covering on the table below me was torn and wrinkled. I was sure there was a mess between my thighs.
Ranger stepped away for a moment and came back with tissues which he used to gently wipe me clean. When he was finished, he tossed them in a biohazard bin.
"Handy," he said.
I rolled my eyes.
Ranger bent down and grabbed my panties and the t-shirt I'd been wearing and handed them to me.
I had the shirt halfway over my head when there was a knock on the door.
"Hello?" A female voice said. "This room is not supposed to be locked. Who is in there?"
There was a jingle of keys from just outside the door. I glanced frantically at Ranger. He was already dressed and moving towards me. He tugged the t-shirt down over me and pulled me into his arms just as the door opened and a harassed-looking doctor looked up at us.
"You can't be…" Her eyes widened behind her thick, round glasses as she took in the sight of us.
Ranger put his hand quickly to the back of my head and pushed it into his shoulder.
"We're so sorry," he said to the doctor. "She needed someplace quiet to calm down." He spoke quietly, confidentially. "Her fiancé was injured in the shootout last night."
I scrunched my face up and pinched him on the arm that was facing away from the doctor.
"Oh…"
"She was so worried about him that she rushed over here without even getting dressed this morning. Love, you know? Makes you do silly things."
The woman was quiet for a moment and I could imagine her nodding along sagely. I couldn't stifle the giggle.
Ranger's arms tightened around me.
"Poor girl just can't stop crying," he said, his voice rumbling right out of his chest and into mine.
"Oh, of course," the doctor said. "You take all the time you need, I'll use another room."
"Actually," Ranger called out as she apparently made to leave the room. "You wouldn't happen to know where I could find some pants for her, maybe some slipper socks."
"Of course, I'll go grab some for you."
I heard the charm-smile in his voice as he answered, "Thank you."
As soon as the door clicked closed, I pulled back and smacked Ranger on the chest.
"What?" He asked, smile still in place, rubbing his sternum where I'd hit him.
"Fiancé?" I asked.
"Well, it kept us out of trouble, didn't it?"
I raised both eyebrows at him and poised my hand to strike him again. He pulled me back into his chest a second before the door swung open.
"Here you are," the doctor said softly. "Take as long as you need in here." I felt her hand lightly on my shoulder as she said, "I hope your fiancé is alright, dear." Then she left.
Ranger was laughing silently by the time I pulled away from him.
I resisted the urge to smack him again. Instead, I took the pants and socks from the exam table where the doctor had left them and put them on.
Ranger had himself under some semblance of control when I looked back up at him.
"It is so not funny," I told him as he wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me towards the door. "Macho army man finds getting caught amusing," I muttered.
"Admit it," he whispered in my ear, "it was a little bit funny."
I peered up at him as he opened the door. He was looking back at the room behind us. I followed his gaze. The paper from the exam table was almost completely torn off. What was left on the table held the distinct wrinkled outline of a rear end. My rear end. I snorted.
"Okay," I said, turning my back on the room and leading Ranger out into the hallway. "It was a little funny."
A/N: You didn't seriously think I'd kill Ranger, did you? LOL. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to let me know what you thought.
Tranlations:
Te amo. Te amo más que nada. – I love you. I love you more than anything.
