Incoming
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Not even the computer I wrote it on.
Summary: Jess shows up at Richard and Emily's vow renewal. Luke has something to say about it. Rory is less than happy. Lorelai has to deal with Christopher. And the day is definitely not everything Emily hoped it would be.
Feedback: Reviews are fun. Like a barrel of monkeys. Why anyone would put monkeys in a barrel…I don't know, but it's supposedly a lot of fun.
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"Rory! Rory, Rory, Rory, Rory, Rory!" Lorelai bounced on her daughter's bed.
"Ungh." She swatted at her mother. "Go away."
"C'mon. Get up. Up, up, up."
"Mom." She whined.
"Wake up." She whined back.
Rory groaned and reached out to snuggle back up to Jess only to find that he wasn't there. "Where's Jess?"
"I don't know. But his shoes are in the living room so I doubt he went far."
She nodded and pulled her blanket over her head and groaned again when Lorelai poked her in the ribs. "Go away. It's five in the morning."
She bounced a couple more times. "I know. Isn't it great? We should always get up this early. Why don't we get up this early?"
"Mom, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I have a hangover and if you don't leave me alone, I will chop you into little pieces with a butter knife and feed you to the dog."
"We don't have a dog."
"Damn it. Are you sure? I could've sworn-"
"I'm getting married."
Rory bolted upright. "What?"
"I'm getting-"
"I heard what you said. I just…wow. You're getting married. You're marrying Luke...it is Luke, right?"
"Oh my God. No, Kirk." She said sarcastically.
"Jeez. I'm just making sure."
"Of course it's Luke. I'm marrying Luke. Oh my God, I'm marrying Luke." She jumped off the bed. "This is big. Really big. Like the biggest thing ever. Except for you. That was huge. But this is almost huge. This is right behind that. Thing need to be done. Big things. Like plans. And charts. I love charts. Lots of charts. And graphs. I don't know why, but we should have graphs. Ooh, and lists. You like lists and Luke likes lists. You two can make lists."
"Mom." Rory climbed out of bed.
"I'm getting married." She threw her arms around her daughter, and they jumped around in excitement. Suddenly Lorelai pulled back. "Oh, I didn't ask you how you felt about this. I'm so sorry."
"You ask me after we jump around? Mom, I think this is great. You love Luke. Luke loves you"
"What about you?"
"Well, hopefully not in the same way. You might want to clear that up with him before the wedding though."
"Rory."
"Mom. What else do you want me to say? I'm happy. I'm excited. I think it's great, wonderful, fantastic, marvelous. There is no one in the world I'd rather you married and there's no one in the world I'd rather have for a step dad."
Lorelai smiled through the tears that filled her eyes. "Not even Bono?"
"And not get to see you and Luke in matching flannel on Saturday mornings…"
She gasped. "Sookie. I have to tell Sookie."
"Mom! Five in the morning. Let the woman sleep."
"Yea, okay. She is pregnant. Plus Jackson might kill me with a rake."
"Hey, then I'd get to sleep late. Call her up."
"Hmph. Be nice to Mommy."
She kissed Lorelai on the cheek. "Congratulations. Can I go back to sleep?"
"Fine. If you must. I'll wake you up in a few hours. We're going to Luke's at eight."
"Kay. And if you see Jess…"
"I'll send him your way."
She nodded. "Night, Mom."
"Night, kid."
Rory tossed and turned for twenty minutes before giving up on falling back to sleep. "Luke does not like lists." She said as she walked into her mother's room and flopped onto the bed.
"What?"
"Before, you said Luke likes lists. Luke doesn't like lists."
"Oh. I know. It was just a heat of the moment thing."
"The heat of the moment made you say Luke likes lists?"
"Yep."
"Freak."
"So, couldn't get back to sleep, huh?"
"No. Thank you by the way."
Lorelai smiled. "Welcome."
"So, no Jess?" She sounded a little worried.
"Yea. I ran into him downstairs. He had to run to his-." She stopped when she remembered Rory didn't know about Jess's recent purchase. "-uh, his place of…living…where he stays…the apartment…above the diner."
Rory looked skeptical, but let it go. "You wanna give your sleep deprived daughter the details?" When Lorelai grinned, Rory held up her hand. "Leave out the dirty stuff."
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"Luke." She whispered.
"Hmm?" He opened his eyes.
"Will you marry me?"
"I…" He didn't know what to say. Well, that's not entirely true. He knew exactly what to say, he was just too shocked to form the words.
When he didn't say anything for a couple minutes, Lorelai started to pull back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…it was stupid." She quickly swiped the tears that were making their way down her face, not wanting him to see her cry twice in one night.
Her voice pulled Luke out of his shock. "Yes." He said quickly, before she could get away from him.
"What?"
"Yes."
"Yes, it was stupid or-"
"Shut up, Lorelai." He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and kissed her passionately.
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Lorelai and Rory froze in the middle of the diner. "Oh my God." Lorelai said as she looked around. There were decorations everywhere.
"Mommy." Rory said overdramatically. "I don't understand."
Lorelai pulled her daughter into her arms. "Hide your eyes." Suddenly she gasped and pulled Rory closer. "It's worse than I thought."
"What is it?"
"Tablecloths."
"No!"
"Yes."
She pulled away from her mother to look at the tablecloths. "Why, Luke?"
"Maybe it's not Luke." Lorelai said hopefully. "Maybe he switched bodies with Taylor."
"Is it possible?"
"It has to be." She started for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Next door. I need to save Luke."
"Right. Hurry up. You know what happens after tablecloths."
Lorelai's eyes went wide. "Those big flowers that sing and dance every time you walk by."
"Yep."
"I love those."
"So does Taylor" She gasped.
"Ooh. He does." She made her way over to Luke, who had been standing behind the counter watching them since they walked into the diner, and kissed him. "Why, Mr. Doose." She swooned.
Luke shook his head but didn't even bother trying to hide the smile on his face. "You're crazy."
"And you love it."
Just then, Jess walked into the diner talking animatedly on his cell phone. "I know, Tom…no, you can't talk to Lorelai again…because you're talking to me…" He blinked a few times when he noticed the state the diner was in. "Yea, I'll call you back." He turned off the phone and looked around, confused. "Luke." He looked over at his uncle. "What the hell is this?"
Rory laughed as she grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the door. "C'mon. I'll explain."
Lorelai watched Rory and Jess walk towards the gazebo for a minute then turned to Luke and smiled sweetly. "Coffee?"
"One condition. Come upstairs with me first."
"Ooh." She smirked "Dirty."
He sighed. "Not for that. I want to give you something."
"I think I'm gonna stick with the dirty."
"Would you just come on?" He took her hand and led her towards the stairs. "Caesar, I'll be right back!"
Lorelai giggled as he pushed her up the stairs. "What are you doing?"
He closed the apartment door behind them and pulled her close.
"Hi." She said quietly.
"Hi." Luke smiled at her. "I missed you."
"Really?" She looked over his shoulder at the clock. "I was only gone three hours and twenty-six minutes."
"I know."
"Hmm. I didn't know I was so miss-able."
He leaned down and kissed her. "I love you."
"Hey." She pulled back quickly. "I know what you're doing. You're trying to distract me so I forget all about my present.
"Oh. Come in here." He pulled her over to his bed "Sit down."
"Ooh, this is getting suspenseful."
Luke went to his safe and took something out of it then sat next to Lorelai. He handed her a small velvet box. "Umm, last night I forgot about the ring, so…"
She felt tears fill her eyes as she opened the box. "Oh my God." She looked over at him. "Luke. This is…" She threw her arms around his neck. "It's beautiful."
He pulled back so he could look at her. "You like it?"
"I love it. It's amazing."
"Good." He smiled as he took the box from her and took the ring out of it. "Give me your hand." He slid the ring onto her finger "Now it's official."
"Not yet." She told him.
"No?"
"Uh-uh. I didn't give you your ring yet."
"You got me a ring?"
"Yep." She pulled an orange plastic ring out of her purse and put it on his finger. "Now it's officially official."
"I Love Lorelai." He read what she had written on the ring.
"You like?"
"I do."
"Hey mister, save it for the wedding."
"Sorry." He looked down at his ring. "I don't actually have to wear this do I?"
"Uh, yea you do."
"You've got to be kidding me. Why?"
"Cause it says 'I Love Lorelai' on it." She said like he should know.
"Lorelai, I still love you without the ring on."
"Yes, but it's so other people know you love me."
"Who is it that you think doesn't know? There are no secrets in this town."
"I know that."
"Then the ring is for whose benefit?"
She sighed, exasperated. "Well, say we're in Hartford and-"
"Why are we in Hartford?"
"And we go to the mall-"
"I'm not going to the mall. I hate malls."
"And we get separated-"
"If you manage to get me to the mall, there's no way either of us is wandering off without-"
"Luke!"
"What?"
"I'm just trying to make a point. Jeez, Rory didn't whine as much when I had her dating a Hanson brother."
"Fine We're in Hartford, at the mall and we somehow got separated."
"Thank you. Now, while we're separated, I, of course, am trying to find you. I'm all over the place yelling Marco and-"
"Marco?"
"As in Marco Polo. Keep up, babe."
He nodded. "Right. Sorry. You're yelling Marco and I'm…where?"
"Well, you are trying to find me but you don't know where to go because you've never been to the mall before. Then suddenly some woman sees you walking all alone, so she walks over and starts flirting and asks you to dinner, but who could blame her 'cause you're pretty damn hot." She smiled when he blushed. "Anyway, you can show her the ring and say 'Hey, I don't think so. I love Lorelai. Check out the ring."
"Okay, but when I am lost in this mall in Hartford and this extremely forward woman asks me out, why can't I just tell her I'm engaged or just say no?"
"Uh, well, umm…my idea's more fun."
"How 'bout, if you don't make me wear the ring I promise I'll say Polo."
"Just one day?"
"One day?"
"The ring for one day and you say Polo."
"Deal."
She smiled. "Now that that's settled…" She climbed onto his lap and trailed kisses up his neck. "You wanna play hooky?"
"Mmmm." He moaned as his eyes drifted shut.
She grinned and started to unbutton his shirt. "I'm gonna take that as a yes."
His eyes opened as he grabbed her hands. "I can't."
"Why not?" She pouted.
"The diner."
"Caesar's down there"
"He has to leave in half an hour. He's got a thing to do today."
"What about-"
"Your daughter took Jess, and Lane's in New York for a gig."
Lorelai sighed. "Tomorrow?"
He nodded. "Tomorrow."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Kay." She re-buttoned his shirt and kissed him quickly before standing up. "Oh." She took her ring off. "Here."
"What are you doing?"
"If I go down there wearing it, everyone's gonna know and since you're stuck here all day you're gonna have to answer a billion questions. But if we tell them tomorrow we can spend the day away from Stars Hollow and the billion questions."
"Ah, right." He took both of their rings and put them back in the safe. "After the amount of time the ring was in that safe, one more day won't matter."
"How long was it in there?"
"A long time. It was my mom's. My dad gave it to me before he died. He said she wanted me to have it."
"Oh, Luke." She wrapped her arms around him. "I love you."
"I love you, too." He smiled and pulled away. "Hey how'd Rory take it? She didn't say anything."
"Yea, we didn't know if we were telling people, but judging from downstairs, it won't stay a secret for long."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? Have you seen the place? There's tablecloths and flowers and spring decorations."
"So?"
"You never have decorations. Don't you think all that stuff is gonna raise some suspicions?"
"I guess I did go a little overboard."
"Ya think."
"I'll take it all down tonight."
"Good." She pulled him out of the apartment. "C'mon. You owe me coffee."
He followed her downstairs then went behind the counter. "You know, I think I should have some say in your eating habits now."
She sat next to the register. "Why?"
He waved the coffee pot around as he spoke. "Because when this stuff kills you, ya know who's paying for the funeral?" He pointed at himself. "Me."
"You have insane troll logic." She shook her head. "My funeral is all Emily's."
"I give up."
"You give up? This is my life we're taking about. Do you want me to die?"
"You want this to-go?"
She smiled. "Yes please."
Luke poured the coffee and handed it to her. "Here. Go kill yourself somewhere else."
"Thank you." She leaned across the counter and kissed him before heading for the door. "Oh." She turned around to look at him. "Do you think you can at least come home early so I can have my way with you?" She smirked when a dark blush spread across his face. "Bye." She said sweetly as she left the diner.
Luke looked around to see every customer staring at him. "Eat your damn food." He said then walked into the kitchen.
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"They're getting married?"
"Yup." Rory watched Jess pace back and forth in the gazebo.
"Like…married?"
"Yup." She didn't know why he was so thrown by this, but he was definitely not taking it very well.
"This is weird."
"Okay?"
"I can't believe Luke proposed."
"He didn't."
"Lorelai proposed?"
"Well, if Luke didn't do it…"
"Wow."
"Yea."
He slowly sat down next to her. "We're gonna be step-cousins."
"Ooh, that's weird."
"Yea." He stood up suddenly. "I have an idea."
