I bowed my head against my steering wheel as a sob rocketed through my breast.

I found that my whole body was shaking with sobs as I pounded the steering wheel with my free fist.

This wasn't fair!

It wasn't fair that Edward would never get to see his child, to know what we had created and then to hold it in his arms.

I was overwhelmed by the image of Edward cradling a perfect child against his perfect chest, a ancient smile dancing on his features.

My stomach clenched and whether it was the baby or just pure pain I had no idea. All I knew was that it hurt.

I was outside of the Seattle airport, my heart thundering away so hard that I was sure that Edward could hear it all the way in Forks.

Instinctively I tried to quiet it.

He couldn't hear me! I would never have the courage to face him after what I had said. I had hurt him deeper then any wound any disease anything! Could ever hurt him.

I had lied and most likely torn his failed heart from his chest.

Where he had filled me I had destroyed him.

And he thought he was the monster…

Rain streaked down my windshield as I wrapped my hands around my stomach, I really hoped that Mike wouldn't mind that I hijacked his car.

It happened to be a little trick that Jacob had taught me.

Not that I hadn't shocked myself silly in my desperate attempt to get the car running before everyone was diverted from my burning apartment.

An airplane roared over head as I buried my head against Mike's steering wheel and sobbed weakly.

" Oh Edward…" I whispered as I realized that Mike's care reeked of Alcohol.

I was supposed to be going in there and getting a reserved plane ticket to hell knows where.

Without Edward and Without Jacob.

Carrying a package of mine and Edwards flesh and Blood.

My Fingers tightened on the steering wheel as I clenched my jaw. My baby, I thought possessively, was not just going to walk into the arms of some monster!

I looked up in the mirror noticing my tear streaked cheeks as another planes lights lit up the car and the rain continued to beat down.

For once I was going to have to make a decision without Edward.

And this time it wasn't my life that I was deciding to keep.

It was my child's.

In one swift movement I sat up and threw the car into gear then gunned it out of the air port parking lot.

At least Mike's car ran! I speculated as I streamed out of the airport lane and careened out onto the highway.

Only then did I realize that I didn't really have any money.

That might be a minor obstacle.

I felt an odd thrill in my chest. The thought that I, Bella Swan, had disobeyed and had risked my life.

I was going to fight this time, and I was going to do that by hiding.

All off a sudden I was overcome by nausea. I quickly swerved to the edge of the road and leapt out of the car were I vomited onto the side of the highway.

" You know your killing me." I rasped as I rubbed my stomach and leaned against the guard rail. " You are truly as frustrating as your father…"

Cars continued to roar by as I thought about all the things our baby might be.

Beautiful, intelligent, with a great laugh, and deep ivy green eyes. I sniffed as I stumbled back to the car and struggled in.

This was no time to have a hormonal breakdown.

Though food sounded lovely along with hours alone with Edward and a bed, Heck right know I wouldn't even care if it was a bed. The street would be fine.

As long as I could feel his weight gently pressing down on top of me as his lips pressed against my ear, and I pressed my hands against his back, that was all I needed.

Who ever said that a Vampire bite was bad, had never experienced Edward that was for sure.

I realized that i needed to ditch Mike's car.

Hopefully a very deserving Hobo would find it and make good use to it.

I grabbed the only thing I had brought from the apartment, Edward's coat, as I pulled up to the curb in front of a church.

I had never been an exceptionally religious person but I had also never been a completely alone pregnant girl who had just jacked someone's car.

I could stand for some religious comport. And the gigantic stone angels in the church reminded me of Edward. They where hard and Cold but old and comporting to look at.

They also had this serene grace and the same scolding smile as my Edward.

I shivered as I pulled on his baggy coat and tromped up the steps of the church then stared blankly at the entrance.

My stomach ached as I pushed open the churches door. It was pretty late at night and I honestly believed that any one who was here at this time was a complete religious nut job. I was rewarded for once and the church was empty as I sank into one of the pews. It was a long church, the isle leading up to the alter was like one of the ones where the bride walked.

It kind of made me want to cry. After all i was pregnant.

So I did cry, each time murmuring Edwards name quietly as I wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth tell I had lulled myself into a hungry sleep.


" Bella…" Edward's sweet voice flooded into the mists of my dreams as I realized I was warm. I had been dreaming in darkness sounds drifting in and out of my unconsciousness.

Maybe it was an affect of the pregnancy, after all this was a first timer for me.

No I was definitely snuggled in a blanket.

I slowly forced myself to open my eyes. The pew beneath me was also covered in a soft layering of blankets and I wearily sat up and instantly froze.

Edward's silhouette was at the head of the church , I knew that form in fact i had meomorized every inch of him. His perfectly sloped shoulders, the elegant bend of his icy neck and the bronze hair that danced around his ears.

He had found me.

I drew the blankets closer around my body as I watched Edward lay his forehead against the alter, his hands swinging at his sides.

A flash of lightning illuminated the church as Edward whispered something under his breath.

I craned forward my curiosity overtaking my panic.

" My father who ought in Heaven, hallowed be thy name…." The words slipped over Edwards lips in what sounded like a bare animal cry, as he tipped his head upward In worship.

He couldn't be praying.

" Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." Edward recited his voice crystal clear with agony as I realized I had caused it.

" Edward…" I whispered as I realized there was a warm thermos near my hand, and next to that a bag of hot food.

Ohhh Edward, I thought. I loved him so much.

"Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us of our…." His voice caught as he struggled " Trespasses as we forgive those who trespass us."

I knew this prayer, I had learned it in one of Renee's religious trends. It was time to join my husband.

My voice rose clear and confident as I continued where he had left off. " And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil….."

" For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever Amen!" Edwards voice mirrored mine as his deep satin tone sung through the air and I felt my heart soar with it.

Oh, God had to be listening to an Angel like Edward!

" Amen." I finished as he nodded and placed his pale hand a top the alter and placed his head against his palm.

Thunder roared as the chapel faded into silence.

Then..

" Why?" Edward croaked as I clutched the blankets around me, the baby inside of me acting up again.

" Bella Why?" His head whipped around to look at me and I instantly felt as if he was looking through my skin, his eyes where glimmering with unspoken pain.

" Was it with Jacob, Mike, … Tyler? Oh Bella i loved you!"