Incoming

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Not even the computer I wrote it on.

Summary: Jess shows up at Richard and Emily's vow renewal. Luke has something to say about it. Rory is less than happy. Lorelai has to deal with Christopher. And the day is definitely not everything Emily hoped it would be.

Feedback: Reviews are fun. Like a barrel of monkeys. Why anyone would put monkeys in a barrel…I don't know, but it's supposedly a lot of fun.

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Jess stumbled tiredly out of Rory's room on Saturday morning after he awoke to the smell of something burning. In the kitchen, he was greeted with the sight of a panicked Lorelai waving around a pan of…something that was on fire. He rolled his eyes as he got a box of baking soda out of the cabinet and poured it in the pan, extinguishing the flames. "Luke's gonna kill you."

She threw the pan into the sink and took off her oven mitts. "Or, we could not tell him."

He shook his head and walked back into Rory's room.

"Hey." Rory said softly as he crawled back into bed.

He draped his arm across her waist as he pulled her towards him. "How has your mother not burned the house down?"

"The wonder of fire extinguishers." She yawned and rested her head on his chest. "Do you have work today?"

"Mm-hm. But I can get out of it if you want."

She played with the collar of his t-shirt. "Nope. Us girls have wedding planning to do."

"Sounds like fun." He mumbled, closing his eyes.

She rolled onto her side, leaning her head on her hand as she looked down at him. "What time do you have to go to work?"

"Uh…ten."

She laid her hand flat on his chest and tapped her fingers against his collar bone. "Jess." She said softly.

"Hmm?"

"What're you doing?"

He cracked one eye open and frowned at her. "What?"

"Huh?" She asked innocently.

"What do you want?"

"It's nine-thirty."

"So?"

"So, you have work at ten. That only gives you a half-hour to get ready."

He closed his eyes again. "Uh-huh. That means I have twenty-five more minutes to sleep."

"Jess." She drew out his name as she tapped his chest again.

He opened his eyes and sat up. "Fine." He rolled out of bed and stood up. "I'm up. Happy?"

She looked down at the empty space where he had been laying then up at him. "I didn't really think that through."

He smiled as he leaned down to kiss her. "I have to get to the diner."

"Fine. Leave me." She dramatically threw her arm across her eyes and flopped back onto her pillows.

"Hey, it was your idea." He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked out of the room, colliding with Lorelai. "Jeez. What the hell are you doing?"

She pointed into the room behind him. "Umm, getting my kid."

"Right. Wedding planning." He gestured in the general direction of the front door. "I have to go to work."

She stepped back, giving him room to get past her. "Bye, Jess." She watched him leave then walked into Rory's room and threw herself onto her daughter's bed. "Your boyfriend's weird."

"Says the woman who…no, there's too many choices."

"Are you saying I'm weird?"

"Never. I'm just less-than-subtly implying it."

She held a hand to her chest and pretended to be offended. "After everything I've done for you…"

She grinned as she climbed out of bed and walked to the closet. "It's not like I'm wrong."

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"Coffee!" Lorelai announced her presence as she entered the diner.

"Hey." Luke smiled at her. "You meeting Rory?"

She nodded. "Anywhere?"

"Yea." He immediately regretted saying that when she start for a table that a group of tourists were sitting at. He ran out from behind the counter to drag her to an empty table. "Why do you do that?"

"Doesn't the fiancé get special table privileges?" She asked.

He gently pushed her down onto a chair. "Only if she gets here before everyone else."

"But Kirk gets here at five 'cause he's a sad, sad man with no life."

"Then you'll just have to sit with Kirk."

She shook her head. "Why am I marrying you? 'Cause, really, not seeing the perks."

"Yea." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too." He smoothed her hair. "You want some coffee?"

She grinned wickedly. "I love when you talk dirty to me."

He shook his head and muttered a 'jeez' before turning around and heading to the counter.

Lorelai smiled at his back then looked at the door when the bell rang. "Hey, hon." She said to Rory. "Did you talk to Lane?"

"Yep." She sat next to her mother. "She and Zach have to go shopping first, but she said she'd meet you here tonight."

"Perfect. Is she bringing the guys?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I told her it was a band thing, so probably."

She smiled gleefully. "Wedding planning is so much fun."

"Hey." Jess walked over to the table, two mugs in hand.

Rory smiled up at him. "Hey you."

He put the mugs on the table then leaned down to kiss her. "Morning." He whispered. "Hey, Lorelai."

"Hi, Jess."

"Did you guys order yet?"

Rory shook her head. "Not yet."

"Ooh, ooh." Lorelai said. "I want-" She was cut off by a happy squeal coming from the front of the diner.

"Ahh! My boys!"

Jess froze and screwed his eyes shut. "Oh God. Please tell me it's not her."

Lorelai sighed proudly. "Oh, those sacred words uttered by another." She turned to Rory. "If I had a dollar for every time I said that about my mother…"

"Liz." Luke said, walking around the counter to hug his sister. "What are you doing here?"

"It's great to see you too, big brother."

"Sorry." He paused for a second, then, "What are you doing here?"

"The last two weeks of the circuit got cancelled, so we came home early."

Jess looked wide-eyed at Lorelai. "Home?" He whispered harshly.

She smiled widely at him. "Guess who moved to Stars Hollow."

"Jess. My baby!" Liz said loudly.

Jess tensed and clenched his teeth.

Lorelai patted his hand. "It's okay. I don't think she saw you yet."

He glared at her then slowly turned around. "Liz."

She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly then stepped back to look him over. "Jess, you look great." She turned to Luke. "Doesn't he look great? All grown up?" She looked back at her son when Luke nodded. "Well, tell me what you've been up to? What are you doing back in Stars Hollow? How have you been?"

"I…uh…Luke and Lorelai are engaged."

"What?" She looked behind him at Lorelai and spotted the ring on her finger. "Oh my God!" She pushed past Jess and threw her arms around her. "Oh! I'm so excited. We're gonna be sisters-in-law!"

"Yay." She choked out as well as she could with Liz's arms so tight around her.

She squeezed her a little tighter then let go to hit Luke in the arm. "Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?"

"Because…it just happened…last night?"

"Ohhh. That's great. Really?"

"Umm, well…no."

"Luke!" She hit him again.

He shrugged. "You were at the Renaissance Faire thing. You didn't have your phone."

"Yes I did. I just don't use it at my booth. You knew that."

"But you yelled at me every time I called Lorelai. Even at night."

"No I didn't. That was TJ." She told him. "He doesn't believe in using modern technology when we're on the Faire circuit." She added in explanation to Lorelai.

Luke looked over at his fiancé. "That does include the shower, in case you were wondering."

Liz shoved him playfully. "Oh, that's not true. I wouldn't let him in the tent if he didn't shower."

"Where is TJ?" Luke asked.

"I dropped him off at home before I came over." She waved it off flippantly. "Now, come on. I wanna catch up with my guys."

When Jess shot Luke a desperate look, he sighed and turned to his sister. "Actually, I need to go cook…in the kitchen, and Jess needs to get back to work. But why don't you sit here with Lorelai and Rory, and…" That's when he noticed Rory looking kind of panicked. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" She asked weakly.

Lorelai looked over at her and frowned. "You look little pale, hon. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yea. Yea, I'm fine…I just…can I…talk…to you…over there?" She gestured to the curtain in front of the stairs.

"Sure." She looked uncertain as she stood up. "We'll be right back." She announced, pulling Rory behind the curtain.

"That's Jess's mom!" Rory said loudly, as soon as the curtain fell shut behind them.

"Okay, the curtain – not sound proof." She started pushing her up the stairs. "So why don't you save you nervous breakdown for inside the apartment."

"Ugh." Rory threw the apartment door open and marched inside.

Lorelai followed her inside and quietly shut the door. "Okay, Mariah, spill."

"Jess's mother is downstairs."

"I did notice that when she was strangling me."

"But it's his mother. The woman who gave birth to him."

"Is that what a mother is? Cause after all those hours of labor I wasn't sure."

"Mom." She growled.

"Ohhh." She said in realization. "You never met her before."

"No, I never met her before!"

Lorelai laughed. "You're all nervous about meeting your boyfriend's mom."

"What if she hates me?"

"She won't hate you. You're too pretty to hate. I take all the credit for that, by the way."

Rory ignored her and started pacing in front of the couch. "What if she starts calling me Big Sally, and then Jess has to die before we figure out his cross dressing isn't our fault and he wants to be buried in lingerie and the priest thinks it's all a big joke?"

"Well, at least he won't charge you for the ceremony."

She stopped and looked at Lorelai. "Are you under some impression that you're helping?"

She held up her hands in surrender. "Sorry." She walked to phone and dialed the number for the diner.

"Luke's." Luke answered the phone.

"Can you send Jess upstairs?"

"Lorelai? Why can't you just walk…never mind. I'll send him up."

"Tell him to bring coffee."

"Bye, Lorelai."

She hung up and turned to Rory. "Jess is coming up here."

"Really?" She said sarcastically.

"Well, he's more recently been acquainted with the 'meeting the parents' fear, so I figure he could help. Grandparents in his case, but you know what I mean."

"I think he deals with that every day when you walk into the diner."

She let out a mock gasp. "Why are you so mean to Mama?"

Both heads turned towards the door when Jess walked into the apartment. "Hey. Luke said you needed me."

"You didn't bring coffee." Lorelai pouted.

"I'm sorry, did you mistake me for you? I don't carry coffee around everywhere I go."

"I told Luke to send you up here with coffee."

"That's why I'm up here?"

"Of course. And Rory's having a nervous breakdown."

He looked at his girlfriend, concerned. "What? Why?"

"She's afraid of meeting your mother."

He gestured to the door. "But she was just down there…in the diner."

"But she didn't officially meet her…as the girlfriend."

His expression turned amused. "You're afraid of my mother?"

"No!" Rory said forcefully then flopped onto the couch. "A little. I didn't see you doing cartwheels over meeting my grandparents."

"She thinks Liz is gonna start calling her Big Sally and then you're gonna get buried in lingerie." Lorelai explained.

Jess furrowed his eyebrows. "What the hell does that mean?"

"She thinks Liz is going to hate her."

He walked to the couch and sat next to her. "Why would she hate you?"

"Okay." Lorelai said. "I'm gonna go get some coffee. So…bye." She nodded and walked out of the apartment.

Jess looked expectantly at his girlfriend. "Rory."

"What? Not everybody likes me."

"Name one person."

"My dad's parents don't like me."

"Name one person that knows you and doesn't like you."

"Well, there's…umm…Okay, that is sooo not the point."

He smiled and pulled her onto his lap. "What is the point, Ror?"

"You're mom is not everyone else."

He kissed her temple and tightened his arms around her waist. "She's gonna love you, Rory."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

She smiled widely at him. "Then let's go meet your mom."

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Emily marched into her husband's study, waving around a piece of paper. "Richard Gilmore." She said angrily.

He put down the newspaper he was reading and gave her his full attention. "Yes, Emily?"

"Why in God's name are we giving something called Hep Alien three-thousand dollars?"

"Hep Alien is the name of a band. Rory's friend, Lane, is the drummer. They will be playing at Lorelai and Luke's wedding reception. They offered to play for free, but they are performing a service and deserve to be paid for it."

"You're condoning her marrying that diner owner!" She spat the last two words.

"If Lorelai wants to marry Luke, that is her decision. He may not be what we always dreamed of for her, but he makes her happy."

"I don't believe you, Richard! That man is no good for her."

"She loves him, Emily. She came into our bedroom in the middle of the night and announced it. I have never heard her say she loved a man, not even Christopher. And if my only daughter wants to marry the man she loves, then I am damn well going to give them my blessing."

Emily didn't know what to say to that so she just turned on her heel and marched out the door. "I'm going to bed." She threw over her shoulder as she walked away.

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Richard walked quietly into his bedroom, knowing his wife was already asleep. He paused in the middle of the room when he noticed Emily laying on top of the covers, still dressed in her pantsuit. "Emily." He whispered. When she didn't answer, he walked over to the bed and smiled down at her sleeping form. In her lap was a photo album full of pictures of a very young Lorelai, and next to that was the tiara Emily wore on their wedding day. He looked around for the box it went it when his eyes landed on a new, sparkling tiara sitting on the nightstand. Next to it was a note.

Lorelai,

I want you to look perfect on your wedding day.

Congratulations.

Mom.