Bella POV

All Human

Chapter 6: Forgiveness

We sat sitting across one another, I didn't look at Jake as he pushed his food aside to the ends of the table. I am assuming that he wants to talk this though; right now I truly do not want to discuss it. If I wasn't for Jacob I probably would have never thought about Edward like that. In fact I think I would still be mad at him.

"Bella it's okay for you to like him you know?" Jacob said in a low voice, "But I think that we do need to talk about it. Come on who's your best friend huh?" Jacob asked as I grinned.

I was easy to talk to Jacob in letters, but this was up front and personal, "I don't know Jake… I don't understand anything anymore. When I 'm with Edward, things are different you know? I'm different." I said pulling my milk-shake closer to me, "My heart races, my mind spins, my world just turns upside down and shakes," I confessed looking at him; Jake was still looking at me.

"Bella you should talk to Edward about this, and then bam! I am 100% sure that he feels the same way about you as you do about him kid," Jacob said as he began to start eating again.

I laughed low enough for him hear, "Kid? Jake I'm months older than you are." I said looking out the window, it was raining again. I sighed with much regret, "Jacob, I'm sorry I haven't remembered for such a long time." I apologized turning back to him, "I'm very sorry,"

Jacob stretched his hand across the table and shook his head no whiles taking my hand, "The only thing you have to be sorry for Bella, is if you don't go tell Eddie how you feel about him. Don't tug on someone's heart Ms. Swan okay? But wait till I give the green light," Jacob said.

I sat there and nodded as we finished our food; Jacob paid for the bill as he walked me outside, "Bella do you want me to drive you home? It's raining you know?" Jacob said stating the obvious.

I looked up at the sky, "Want to drive me half way? It's been a while since I last walked in the rain." I confessed. Jacob and I walked to the car and he began to drive me home. Half way there he stopped the car and the rain hadn't stopped falling.

"Why do you want to walk home in the rain in the first place Bella?" Jacob asked in a concern voice. I turned to him just as I was about to place my hand on the door.

"It's because…" I began looking out at the rain and then back at him, "I feel that it washes away all the worries that are placed on my shoulders." I confessed, "I'll see you soon Jacob." I said stepping out of the car and closing it. And with a wave goodbye Jacob turned the car around and began to drive home.

I was walking out in the air, I felt each raindrop fall on my skin and washing away all my worries, all the concerns that I had. It felt so good opening up to Jacob, but that never stopped me from noticing the worries on his face when I spoke about Edward, all the pain. Jacob was the only one that I remembered after my accident. Perhaps it was because of his letters that always reminded me of him. But I always knew that I forgot something when I thought of Jacob.

That something was Edward Cullen. I was incomplete without him…this whole time. And now I understand why I wanted to come back here, why I wanted to find what part of me was missing. If only I didn't forget then maybe things would be begin different.

The way Edward spoke of me, the way he spoke of his…undying obsession. He had never gotten over me; he was in pain because of me. My heart ached at the thought that Edward was in pain because of me. Just then coming from the fog of the rain was the car lights of someone. I thought it was my father at first, but then I noticed that it was a Volvo… it had to be Edward.

I pretended not to notice the car but in my efforts to ignore it I ended up tripping and falling. The car stopped as I tried to help myself up. But then I saw someone walking towards me, with the help of only one hand that person lifted me off the ground and onto my two feet. Slowly I looked up at the person to see that it was – and just as I hoped it was – Edward.

His clothes were wet, drenched with water. He must have been looking for me for quite some time. Edward looked at me with relief and concern. We both stood there looking into each other's eyes. I wondered what he was trying to say, what he wanted to say, but even I wasn't sure what to tell him.

"You're wet." Edward said taking off his jacket and pulling it over me, "Bella where have you been? It's being hours and I looked everywhere for you." Edward said.

Out of a reflex I ended up wrapping my arms around Edward in a hug and held him tightly. Without saying anything I smiled with great joy behind his back. Then I began to feel his arms around me…the same way he wrapped his arms around me when we fell from the tree.

Edward…. His embraced felt so good, the warmth of his skin pushing against mine, his soft cheeks, and his sweet scents were all mine for that moment. I was so happy to have this moment with him. And then much to my disappointment we had to pull away. Edward looked at me with a smile and then rubbed my cheek. He took my hand and walked me to his car.

"Bella," Edward said starting his car, "I'm taking you to my house okay? I want my dad to look over you to make sure you didn't get sick," Edward asked me. I just sat there and nodded.

Edward then turned the car around and began to drive to his house. We didn't talk the whole way there; I just braced my head on the window of his car. I was afraid that if he were to talk to me then I might blow it and end up telling him that I remember everything…and that I was in love with him.

Edward pulled up in front of his house in no time. I won't lie when I say that I hated the way he was driving, he had to break at least fifty different speed limits. Edward opened my car door and helped me inside his house. When we got inside Alice walked over to me and hugged me though I was already wet. I remained silent as she smiled at me.

"Bella you look as if you've seen a ghost!" Alice shouted in concern. Edward walked away to get his dad whiles Alice brought me to a seat, "Bella honey you're awfully quiet, did something happen to you? You just disappeared out of nowhere," Alice said with more concern.

I shook my head no and smiled at her, "I'm fine." I assured her. Though when I looked at Edward I didn't feel like it. I just felt like everything was spinning around, and the person I wanted to reach out for help was Jacob.

Just then I saw Edward walking back with a tall handsome man. His hair was blond and he himself was quiet gorgeous. What was with this family? Were they all born beautiful? That was before I saw Mrs. Cullen walking behind them. She was beautiful! She was tall and slim with amazing long brown hair. Her skin was flawless and ivory.

"Bella is it? I am Doctor Carlisle Cullen. Edward came to me with a concern; how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked me. He was just as I remembered him ten years ago. It looked as if he hadn't aged since I was seven. So overtaken by his familiarity I didn't hear him ask me the question.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked me again as I turned my head to him, "Are you all right?" He questioned.

I shook my head yes, "I'm fine. Just wet." I responded. Though I am sure that the way I was acting had them thinking that I wasn't all right. And to be honest…I don't think I was.

Edward and Alice looked at me with the most worried faces. Mrs. Cullen then pushed her family aside and grinned at me, "My…I haven't seen eyes like those in a long time. My name is Esme," She greeted me as I smiled back at her; "Darlings give us a moment?" Esme asked.

Carlisle looked at his wife, "Honey I want to look over Bella first," Carlisle asked kindly.

Esme turned back and shook her head no, "No. I need to talk with Bella for a moment, excuse us. Bella darling please come with me," Esme said taking my hands as I followed her into the living room where she sat me down on a couch as she herself sat beside me and smiled.

"So you're the young girl that took my Edwards heart?" Esme asked kindly, "Do you remember everything now Bella?" Esme asked.

I nodded, "I've only just found out today. I am still trying to work through it Mrs. Cullen," I told her. Esme took my hand and began to rub my wet cheeks. She stood up in her high-heals - much like the ones that Rose wore – and came back handing me a blanket and towel.

"You have nothing to worry about Bella. Take your time and tell Edward when you're ready. It isn't fair for the both of you, if you were to tell him before you were ready now aren't I right? I could tell you remembered Edward by the way you looked at him. It was the same way I looked at my husband when I first fell in love with him, the same way that Rose looks at Emmett, and Alice with Jasper. We girls can tell these things you know?" Esme joked.

I laughed and nodded, "I promise I'll do my best to follow what I know is right, what my heart tells me. I do really care for Edward. Thank you for understanding Mrs. Cullen" I thanked her.

"Esme please Bella; your secret is safe with me," Esme said kissing me on my forehead, "Alice bring clothes for Bella darling. Carlisle honey you could come here if you want also," Esme said as everyone came running in the door. They must have being waiting for Esme to finish.

"Come with my first Bella, we'll change you out of those wet clothes," Alice said taking me to the other room and handing me some of her outfits.

"Thank you Alice but you don't have to do this, I know I should be getting home soon," I begged, I didn't want to stay at the Cullen's house knowing what I know…and knowing how they pity me for thinking that I do not remember. I hate it.

"Nonsense Bella please, you had Edward so worried about you. Just stay and let my father look over you. I'll have Emmett drive you home if it makes you feel any better? Oh Bella I am so, so sorry about today at lunch. Everyone feels really bad about it if it makes a different?" Alice said.

"That doesn't make me feel better Alice," I confessed changing out of my wet clothes and drying my skin whiles putting on Alice's dry clothes. I wasn't sure if I was going to fit in them but sure enough I was able to fit into her outfits. Though she looked a lot smaller than I was.

Then we walked outside where Carlisle was sitting on the couch talking to Esme. He must have begun asking Esme what we were talking about. Edward sat in the other chair away from his parents and then Carlisle began to look me over. Checking my temperature, blood pressure, nearly everything he had in his house. I was starting to wonder if he had an M.R.I scan also.

"You're temperature is a bit below normal. I persist that you stay here and warm up before you go off okay Bella? Is Charlie home?" Carlisle asked.

I shook my head no, "He's working late today. I'm really fine though doctor Cullen." I insisted. I didn't like how they were taking on my troubles.

"Bella please just stay here okay?" Alice said. Just then Emmett walked through the door and smile at me. Rosalie was behind him when she saw me sitting on the couch. Rosalie walked past Emmett and over to Esme as the two left the room, apparently to talk?

"Glad to know you're okay." Emmett said coming closer, "Bella you just might be the most fun that has happened in Forks. You should have seen the look on Mike's face; he was out of it when he saw Edward run off looking for you," Emmett said with a laugh.

I grinned, "Mike and I are just good friends." I explained. Alice brought me some warm tea and Emmett brought in a heater. But my attention was mostly on Rosalie and Esme in the next room. The two of them occasionally looked at me through the door. Esme with her concerned eyes and Rose with her bitter look, the two seemed to be in deep discussion and I was sure that it was about me.

Edward then walked in the room; Alice and Emmett watched him enter. Edward had gone to change his clothes and had come back downstairs. Carlisle gave a deep sigh as he walked out of the room patting both Alice and Emmett on their shoulders. The two siblings followed their father out of the room leaving just Edward and I in the room.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked sitting beside me on the couch.

I looked away, "I'm fine. I really insisted that I don't need to be here Edward I'm fine really," I tried to assure him but it didn't look like any of the Cullen's were about to let me go.

"Bella why were you walking in the rain by yourself, sure you were halfway from your house but you could have caught sick and you're accident prone you know that." Edward reminded me.

"How did you…know I was accident prone?" I questioned. Was it something from when we were little? If it was then I was certain that Edward had remembered everything about me.

Edward turned his head away, "Something I noticed. Were you with someone today? You were gone for some time." Edward questioned me. He sounded worried.

I thought about Jacob; Jake didn't want me to tell Edward that we had met, should I listen to him? Maybe Edward would be happy to know that I had met Jacob again, and that I remember everything. But that would change the plan that Jacob had made, to surprise Edward. I really wanted us to be like we were ten years ago, I didn't want to blow it.

"I was thinking, the whole time that was all. Thinking about my mom, my dad, stuff." I told him.

"Stuff," Edward repeated after me, I nodded at him, "Bella I'm sorry. Rose and I shouldn't have fought at the table it was rude. We got hell from Alice believe me, and Emmett made sure that he spoke with Rosalie. Rosalie…has lived the past ten years…watching." Edward explained.

"Edward you have got to give me some answer, you can't just leave your words hanging," I complained. What did he mean when he said that Rose had lived the past ten years watching?

Edward sighed and pulled his hand through his thick brown hair, "Rosalie has been a part of this family for as long as we have being a family. Our generations go back with the Hales. This time we're just lucky enough that Emmett and Rose might be the two to actually join the two families. Over the past ten years Rosalie has watched a good friend of hers struggle." Edward said.

He looked hurt when he spoke about Rosalie, "She tired her hardest for ten years to comfort him and just as she thought he was getting better, something happened and now she's afraid that he is going to get hurt again. Rosalie isn't a bad person Bella, but when it comes to protecting those around her, she does what she thinks she has to," Edward explained.

Rosalie is trying to protect Edward from me; because she believes that I am going to hurt him, like I did ten years ago. Knowing this…knowing that I hurt Edward in the most monstrous of ways…I couldn't even look at him right in the eye. Edward has lived the last ten years thinking that losing my memory was his fault.

But how could he think about something like that? The branch broke, it was something that just happened, it was no one's fault. I wanted to tell him this…but I couldn't. I promised Jacob that I wouldn't say anything till all three of us were together, but Jake did want me to explain to Edward that I did have feelings for him. That much I could let him know, or should I keep that to myself also?

"Bella are you all right you seemed troubled," Edward questioned me.

I turned to him, "You've been through a lot these ten years haven't you Edward?" I asked in a low voice. My words were filled with the pain that I caused him.

Edward made a small laugh, "It's nothing, compared to the pain others have gone through," Edward said looking right at me. He was talking about me!

How can he say that? He thinks that I have gone through more than he has? I have put him through a living hell; how can he feel sorry for me, when I am the one that caused him all of his troubles. I felt so bad that my heart began to pull in half. I could feel it ripping.

"Want me to drive you home now?" Edward asked.

I shook my head faster than I think he would have liked. The two of us walked out to his car when Esme came outside, "Edward, I would like to drive Bella home," Esme called out. I was thankful that Esme offered to drive me home. Edward nodded and threw his keys at his mother. I walked inside the car with Esme and the moment we pulled out of the drive way I broke into tears. Esme pulled the car to the side of the road.

"Bella honey, what's wrong?" Esme asked me in a gentle voice.

"I'm sorry Esme," I said with my tears pouring out of my eyes, "I am so sorry I caused your son so much pain. I'm so sorry," I begged for her forgiveness, a mother can only watch her children in pain and want to try to help them, but for Edward she couldn't have helped him.

"No Bella, oh honey it isn't your fault. Sweetheart it's okay," Esme said trying to comfort me as she wrapped her arms around me, "Oh honey come here baby, it's okay," Esme whispered to me. As much as I wanted to believe that, it didn't stop my heart from hurting me.

***

Two day's passed and I never left my room. Apparently – and this was according to Charlie – that Dr. Cullen called to see if I was all right. He says that Doctor Cullen heard from his kids that I haven't being in school for two days and he wanted to check in on me. Charlie informed them that I was just sick and didn't want to leave my house.

I was sick, and I can't believe how corny this sounds but I was love sick. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward, I was constantly picturing him when my eyes closed, and when I looked in the mirror I would see him there. It was hunting me. On the second day of my "illness" the door bell rang. I didn't answer it. I stayed in my bedroom; if it was Charlie he had a key to the house.

That's when I heard my window starting to rattle; I turned to see that Jacob was standing outside my window. I screamed falling out of me bed. Collecting myself I got up and walked to the window opening it, so that Jacob could come inside.

"Bella! Why didn't you open the front door?" Jacob shouted at me helping himself to his feet.

"Why are you coming through my window! That's completely mental!" I shouted back.

We both collected ourselves and then walked downstairs, "Billy told me that Charlie told him that you were sick. I knew you weren't so I came to check you out. What's the matter Bella?" Jacob said walking into the kitchen and getting something to eat. I followed him. How did he know I wasn't sick? Jacob was such a stalker sometimes…

"I saw Edward, Jacob. I can't look at him anymore; I've caused him so much pain. I can't do this anymore Jake I can't lie like this anymore," I confessed to Jacob.

He was making himself a sandwich, "If you feel that way then call him over and confess it to him. Though I strongly advise that you shouldn't," Jacob warned me.

"Why not Jacob?" I asked taking a bit of his sandwich, "What's wrong for him to know I mean why do I have to wait for your green light? Wouldn't it make things so much easier on all of us?" I asked.

Jacob put his sandwich down, "Not all of us Bella," He stated.

"What do you mean Jake?" I asked in low voice.

Jacob looked as if he was going to say something but then his hands made a fits and then slammed it on the table, the plate fell on the floor. I watched him and then thought about what he was trying to say, but I couldn't read Jacob like I did with Edward.

"Jacob?" I asked again.

"Damn it Bella! Don't you see that if Edward loved you like I do then he would have tried to stay in contact with you like I did! I am the one that loves you Bella Swan! Not Edward Cullen,"

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