An Interlude: Petey

I hate Happy Volts. I really, really hate Happy Volts.

It was the first time I'd ever been there, and already it creeped me out. The grounds reminded me of a graveyard, and the inside looked like it was designed to make people crazy, not to help people get better. The thought that Gary spent all his time in this place made my stomach twist; this wasn't what he needed All he needed was his medication and some time away.

And to be far, far away from Jimmy, but now that wasn't going to happen, no matter how much it made sense for either of them. I knew that they didn't believe me, but I knew that they weren't necessarily good for each other. Gary indulged his craziness with Jimmy, and Jimmy got to act like a beast around Gary.

I like Jimmy, I do. He's got this thing where he's surprisingly charming, just usually seems to know the right thing to say to get someone to respect him, or befriend him. I'm a little jealous of it, actually, have been since I met him. But with Gary…Jimmy would always get quieter around Gary, just barking out the fact that he was annoyed with Gary or something before silently following Gary to the next prank or fight. All while Gary looked on with a smile.

I knew what Gary was getting out of him then. I didn't know what Gary was getting out of him now, and that was why I was here at all.

Visiting hours at Happy Volts were apparently depressing. There were a couple of visitors, all sort of floating aimlessly as they threw quick nervous looks at everyone, patient and nurse alike. As if they thought that the nurses were going to go crazy too. Which I understood, because I kind of got that feeling too.

I was sitting on a bench by the main desk, toying with the pack of gum that I'd brought for Gary. It had just felt as if I needed to bring him something, like an offering. I know that I was a bit over dramatic about this; he wasn't Lucky Luciano or some other powerful mafia boss in jail. He was a sixteen year old in a mental hospital.

A sixteen year old who had the power to completely turn everything, and everyone, around him just as insane as he was. I brought an offering with me because I was scared to see him without bringing him a gift, even if it was this pathetic pack of gum.

Which I knew was his favorite because he used to make me go into town to get it all the time. It was a present, but it at least looked like I hadn't put that much thought into it.

Yeah, I'd put that much thought into it.

"Hey Petey!" I jumped at the sound of Beatrice's voice so close to me. She was smiling widely—fortunately her cold sores weren't so bad right now—and she sat right down on the waiting room couch next to me. I quickly hide the gum in my fist, in case she noticed it. Not that she'd know what the hell it was for, but she might ask for some, and I couldn't give Gary an open pack of gum. "Are you taking your psych eval too?"

I blinked before nodding. "Oh, yeah. Psych Eval." No, I'm here to see Gary to demand to know—to ask pitiably about—why he needed to go and have sex with Jimmy. "That."

If Beatrice noticed that I was lying through my teeth, she didn't react. Instead, she continued smiling. She had her notebook with her, clutching it to her chest. She always had that thing. Not even I thought that I needed to carry my class work to a mental hospital. "I'm really intrigued by all of this. If I wasn't going to win the Nobel Peace Prize as a medical doctor, I'd want to study psychology—it's all so fascinating! Peering into people's minds and understanding it so well…"

"Yeah…" I'd lost my stomach for that sort of thing, if only because there was only one person I knew who understood how people's brains worked, and like I'd said before, he was a sixteen year old crazy person. "It's pretty nifty."

She giggled. "I know, right?"

I shook my head. I didn't say 'yeah' again, but only because I didn't want to encourage her talking to me right now. I was there at Volts and all, but I still wasn't mentally prepared to see Gary. After a few seconds, she seemed to notice that I wasn't really in a talkative mood, and she opened her notebook and began to study. It was perfect timing, because the nurse motioned for me to follow through the double doors into the visiting area.

Gary was already draped over a worn but comfy armchair near the corner of the room, tapping out a little beat on the arms of the chair. I nodded at the nurse and assured him that there wasn't any need to have a guard hovering over them. Gary had never really hurt me, just tossed me around once and awhile, and I doubted that Gary was going to start now.

Anyway, I really didn't want to get Jimmy in trouble when a nurse overheard that Gary had a guest every night. Jimmy hadn't hit him yet, but he wasn't going to give Jimmy a perfectly legitimate excuse to start.

Gary glanced up at me, and for half a second he looked surprised. Then he smiled at me. "Femme-boy, long time no see. I was starting to get worried that you'd gotten lost between the cushions in a couch somewhere."

I sat down across from him. The insult was his way of saying that he missed me. He used to spend the first three hours of the first day back at school insulting me. Ceaselessly. I used to cry about it, but then I realized that he liked when I cried. "Hey, Gary…how are you?"

Gary shrugged. "Pretty good. Having a pretty decent time recently."

"I know all about it," I stated. He raised his eyebrow. "Jimmy told me all about it."

Gary's smile grew by about a thousand watts. "Really, now? And what has little Hopkins said about me?" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as Gary leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. "No, I'm serious. What do you think you know about me right now, Petey?"

"You know, I know you better than you think I do," I pointed out. Gary looked unimpressed. "I do! I've known you for years, and it's not like I haven't learned anything about you in all that time."

"Aside from how to give me the perfect bl—"

I flushed. I could feel the heat of embarrassment spreading across my face, and I cursed internally. That's what Gary was going for, and for some reason, I was really bad at giving Gary anything other than exactly what he wanted from me. "No! That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it! I'm talking about what you're doing with Jimmy!"

"Which," he drawled, "has a lot to do with giving the perfect blowjob."

I took a deep breath. "Why? Why Jimmy? What are you trying to pull, huh?"

Gary shook his head and laughed at me. "Patricia, are you trying to protect Hopkins? Because, let me tell you, he's actually quite the big boy." He paused, and then added, "It's fairly impressive, proportionately speaking."

"I'm not listening to that," I told him.

"You sure you don't want to? It might keep you busy on those long nights where clinging to your teddy bears isn't enough to satisfy you." He leaned in even closer. "Tell me, Petey, have you just been thinking about it since Jimmy told you? Has it been keeping you up at night, just like Jimmy's been keeping me-"

"Stop it!" I snapped. Gary blinked, taken aback for a moment. I inhaled deeply, calming down. "I'm serious, Gary. For once, just take me seriously, please. Jesus."

Gary tilted his head as he leaned back in the armchair, going back to looking like a king on his throne. Jimmy, Gary…I wondered if surrounding myself with their royalty made me the Fool. Probably. "Okay, I'll humor you for a second. What do you want to know?"

"I want to know why you're doing this with Jimmy. Why him? I thought you—I thought you hated him."

"And your point is…? You've never, ever, hated someone but wanted to fuck them?"

"No." I made a face.

"You sure about that, Petey, boy?" Gary lowered his voice to bedroom level, and it was enough to make my heart jump out of my chest. Out of worry and fear, though, and not for any of the reasons that Gary was trying to insinuate. I pressed my lips together in frustration. "Come on, princess, don't lose your sense of humor on me."

"You never thought I had a sense of humor," I pointed out.

Gary shrugged. "Besides the point." He started tapping the armchair again. "You want to know why Jimmy. Aside from the fact that he showed up."

"Yeah, I would." There was nothing on earth that would make me believe that Gary would have sex with Jimmy just because Jimmy was there. Gary was really particular about who and what got to touch him.

"He's fun as fuck. Dumb and strong and blunt as shit, but no matter how dumb he is, he's always got a smartass response."

"Maybe that's because he's not dumb," I suggested. I was still playing with the pack of gum, I realized. "Maybe that's because he beat you because he's smart, and clever and--"

"Get your mouth off his dick, Petey, there isn't room for the both of us," Gary groaned. "Jimmy's a dumb brick-headed maggot, but even dumb brick-headed maggots have their uses."

"What's he useful for now?"

"Entertainment."

"It's not just that…" I knew Gary, and this smelled wrong. Weird.

Gary sighed, looking to the side for a moment. He seemed annoyed. Good. I was irritating him. He deserved to be a little irritated. "Hopkins comes tumbling in like a boulder, and it's hard to keep the fact that there's a boulder in your path out of your head."

So Gary…couldn't stop thinking about Jimmy? "You're obsessed with him?"

"Not at the moment, no," Gary said. "Was obsessed with him last year. Then I had some time to breathe. Got over it."

I shook my head no. "Then why start hitting on him at all? It doesn't make any--"

"Are you jealous, Petey?" Gary interjected with a laugh. My eyes went wide and I shook my head quickly. His laugh grew louder. "You are, aren't you, you sick little thing, you."

"No, I'm not! I'm just worried because I don't trust you at all, Gary. You've got some sort of weird plan going on, and I want to know what it is!"

"You don't look good in green, Petey."

I opened my mouth to respond, and then clamped it shut, clenching my jaw. He was taking this the entirely wrong way. I didn't want either of them. I wanted my friends to be okay. And I'd completely and utterly given up on Gary ever being okay, so I'd settle for Jimmy not getting fucked over just because he wanted to get laid.

I took a moment before speaking. "I'm not jealous of you or him. I just want to make sure you don't play any games with him."

Gary slouched down in the chair lazily, cleaning the dirt under one of his nails. "You know why I never wanted anything from you Petey? At least not what I want from Jimmy, anyway."

I sighed deeply, ready for the verbal assault that I knew was coming. "No. Why?" He wasn't going to let me steer the conversation, so I'd let him rant until I could get what I was looking for.

"You're…you're like a fucking Chihuahua." Gary had always known just how to charm me. "A house pet. Already neutered and housetrained." He punctuated his words with flourishes of his hands. "Doing nothing but yipping in my ear all the time. It's annoying."

"I'm…sorry?" I wasn't. I hadn't done anything wrong. At least, I didn't think I did.

He stood up and started to walk back and forth. I didn't stand, but I followed him with my eyes. "Jimmy, though? Jimmy's a fucking rottie that's been in one too many street fights. That's fun. That's interesting. I mean, the best you do is shit on the floor if I lock you in a room for too long."

I told myself not to take it too seriously. Not to be just a little bit hurt, because I couldn't help but still consider Gary a friend of mine. I wouldn't let him twist the knife. I didn't come see him for that. "That's a lot of words. And you're still in here, in Happy Volts, so they don't really matter that much." I could convince myself of that, really I could.

He walked up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I tensed as he leaned down to speak in my ear. "If I talk long enough, you'll be begging to be in here with me, old pal. And then I bet it'd matter a whole lot."

I pulled away, standing up. "You're sick. I'm not going to forget that. No one is." I wanted to tell him that I worried about him. All the time. That I worried about Jimmy. But, unlike Jimmy, I couldn't trust Gary with that sort of truth. I couldn't tell him that I missed him, or that I wish that the idea of him and Jimmy didn't scare me so much, because I'd love to be supportive and happy for them both.

"You sure about that? I could be out of here whenever I wanted, and you know that."

"Right," I snorted. "You're only in here because you want to be. That makes perfect sense." I crossed my arms over my chest, but only because the action made me feel like I could somehow protect myself from Gary's voice. "Yeah, you're not here 'cause Jimmy totally beat you or anything like that. It's all you."

Gary considered this for a long moment. "Jimmy's the one and only thing to surprise me in a long fucking time. He could get me in here, yeah, but I most definitely could get myself out…" He looked me up and down with a smirk. "Why so nervous looking, Petey? Like you said, I'm all trapped in here, right? No threat?"

I looked down at the floor, feeling defeated. He could always see right through me; hell, anyone could see straight through me. I held out the gum. "I got you gum." I vaguely remembered all the times that Gary had insisted that I go all the way into New Coventry for gum, even though he knew I'd get my ass kicked up there, because the markets in New Coventry sold the gum for ten cents cheaper than the market in Bullworth Vale.

Gary took the gum and unwrapped a piece, popping it into his mouth. "You're so sweet, Pete, thanks." I glared at the mocking tone in his voice. "No, really, I mean it. I haven't had gum in a little while."

"Why are you working him over like this?"

Gary snorted. "Working him over? What the hell are you talking about, Petey?"

"Shit, Gary," I said plaintively, "you say you could have everything in the world, and I pretty much believe you, even when you say you could get out of here whenever you wanted to." Gary grinned. "But you already worked him over once. Why do you have to do it again? Just leave him alone." I barely kept from begging him.

"Petey, Petey, Petey, maybe I just like the company."

"What, no one come and visit you?" I snapped it as an insult, but as soon as I did, I realized that might was an actual possibility. Gary's parents sure as hell wouldn't visit him; the shame would have meant they'd only show up if they thought he was about to leave Volts. Gary didn't hang out with anyone but me and Jimmy, and no one in school was about to come talk to him. So maybe…

Maybe Gary Smith was lonely. Weird.

"I like Jimmy's company." The answer was almost curt, and the smile dropped from his face. "He may not be a good conversationalist, but once you get him going…" The smile came back, "…he's a shitload of fun."

"But you don't need to rope him into coming back and seeing you."

"You're right, I don't. He does that all on his own." He shook his head again. "Petey, once I left, Jimmy got bored. Damn near as bored as I had been. You sure as hell aren't enough to keep his attention, and old Bullworth is on the straight and narrow without me…Give him a few months, and he'll be itching to turn that place as upside down as I did. Really, you should thank me, since I'm keeping him excited."

That was such complete bullshit. Jimmy wasn't Gary, and it was just wrong that Gary was talking about him like that. I saw the similarities, yeah, but I wasn't about to say that Jimmy would go off the deep end like Gary had. It wasn't possible. Jimmy was the anti-Gary, if anything.

"I'm not trying to keep his attention!"

"That's a good idea. It's pretty hard to fill my shoes." He sat on the edge of the armchair.

"I'm not trying to fill your--" I felt myself turning red again, swelling up with indignation. "Jesus, Gay, you're stuck here in a little gray box, and you have to stay here! You think you're special, that you're playing some great elaborate mind game with me right now, but you're not! You're just grasping at straws, while you're stuck here! I'm not, and Jimmy sure as hell isn't! He's not you, he'll never be you—he's better than you! Get a grip on reality! The most you're gonna get from him is a lay in your room, ever!" My voice was louder than I'd intended it, and I recoiled at its echo.

Gary was silent for a moment, and I worried that he was getting pissed at me. But then he started to clap slowly. "That—that was beautiful. A work of art, really. That must have been everything that you've been sitting on for quite some time, huh? Really, it was…wow. I'd even believe that you believed if it wasn't for two things, Petey."

"And what are they?" The loudness was gone, and replaced with shaky doubt.

"One, Jimmy comes here on his own, again and again, so I'd say I'm getting more than just sex. I'm getting his complete attention."

"And the second?" I couldn't argue that, and I didn't want to, if only because the thought bothered me so completely.

Gary held up the pack of gum. "You claim that I've got no power, but you still feel like you've got to get me presents."

I clenched my jaw again, balling my fists tightly. I didn't quite hate him, but I was getting to the point where I could learn to. "It was eighty-five cents!" I retorted. "It wasn't exactly outta my way, and besides, you're a prisoner. It's like I'm visiting the sick. Which I am, 'cause you're really sick. I meant everything I said. And I don't want you to make Jimmy sick too."

Gary waved this off dismissively. "The guy's a ticking time bomb. I don't need to make him sick, because he's already waiting to go off. And I know as well as you do that you spent a shitload of time thinking about what to get me. Probably wondered what would make you look too desperate too. Like a middle school girl wondering whether she should call after her first date."

"Jimmy's the best thing that ever happened to Bullworth," I answered stoutly. "And he's a hell of a lot better off in his head than you are. You're in here. We aren't. We won. You lost. So there. I guess I got the last laugh. Stupid little Petey got the last laugh."

"You're laughing?" Gary looked doubtful. "What exactly did you win, Petey? You're still little more than a girl with a little dick. You're stil crying to yourself because no one cares about little old Petey. You haven't won, and you sure as hell aren't laughing. The only thing that's changed is that you're trailing after Jimmy instead of me. And guess what? You're life is still revolving around me, because you're sitting around fretting like a housewife— 'oh, Jimmy, be careful'… 'oh, Jimmy, watch out!'… 'Garygarygarygary'."

Gary shook his head. "You say my name more than Jimmy does in bed."

I shook my head, trying not to cry. I had tried. I was still trying, but Gary wouldn't let me just talk to him like a normal person. Okay then, fine, he could have it his way. "I shouldn't have come to see you. I just…I felt bad for you. You lost everything, and all you've got now is the guy you hate the most, so I felt sorry for you and brought you some gum. You fucking suck."

I turned to go. Gary spoke. "Come now, Petey, don't cry on me…thought with these new balls you're pretending to grow, you'd be able to handle a bit of rough play."

I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Have fun in your little box." I grabbed the door handle. "Have fun in your straitjacket and with your medication. I'm glad you're gone." I was lying, but what else could I say?

"Wait a minute." I stopped. He couldn't be serious. I turned back to him, as he stood up. "Since you're here, you can do me a little favor."

"You're joking."

"No, I'm not." Gary pulled a folded piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. "I meant to give this little note to James before he left. Since you're here, you might as well drop it off for me."

I took the paper and opened it; he knew I'd read it, so I didn't feel weird about opening it in front of him. "What the hell is this?"

"It's my-"

"I know what it is," I snapped. I'd known him long enough to recognize what he'd written down. "I mean…why? Why does he need this?"

Gary raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think, moron?"

Right. Asshole. "Sure, I'll give it to him."

Gary petted me on the head. "Good boy."

I scowled at him. "Don't do that."

As I exited the room, I heard him say, "See you soon, buddy!"

Soon as the door was closed, I crumbled up the note and tossed it in the garbage. Fuck him.