Thanks for the lovely reviews. Well, here's the big reveal. Some of you have guessed some of it.
'I know who went into the kitchens,' Mckay was saying to Lorne. 'I'm fairly certain it was the new Nursery Nurse, Andrew Alexander. I've traced his movements back from the kitchen to his rooms and the nursery and also forwards to when he visited the infirmary this afternoon.'
'Well that ties in with something that Doctor Harrison has just told me. Apparently, Nurse Alexander has a history of mental illness. He tried to commit suicide when he was sixteen, and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder or manic depression as some people call it. I'm amazed that he was passed for duty out here at all, but I guess everyone has the right to a second chance. The Doctor is having his file sent through as we speak, so we should know more then.' Lorne broke off his conversation briefly with Rodney. 'Okay, I've sent out some of my men to detain him and the marines on guard at the infirmary are under strict instructions not to let him in again. We'll get him soon.' Rodney seriously hoped so, and then the questions would begin. What exactly did the young nurse have against the Colonel? All he could think was that it was jealousy. Cat had spent quite a lot of time with him, helping look after the young children, to the point that even John had begun to feel insecure of her feelings, so maybe it was revenge of the unrequited lover pure and simple? He needed to talk to Teyla and Ronon. They must decide how much John needed to know right now and if they had the young man under lock and key it could probably be left for a while.
***
It was dark. No, possibly not dark: there was something over her eyes and her mouth. She was sitting up, her arms tied behind her back and, yes, her legs were tied at the ankles. Someone was moving around and muttering to themselves. A male voice? Probably, she decided. She could feel a breeze: no it was more like cold air, outside air. Faced with the choice of keeping quiet and drawing attention to the fact that she was conscious, she could see no way round the need to show that she was awake, needing some action from her captor that might reveal where she was and eventually why. Of one thing she was certain: this was John's attacker and he was therefore very dangerous. If it was John he was after, then she could be used as a weapon against him. If it was her, then she needed to know what she was up against. As noisily as she could, she moved her hands and her feet, making a grumbling noise through the gag and the muttering stopped, footsteps coming towards her. Her blindfold was roughly taken off and Cat drew in a muffled gasp. Her surprise must have shown in her eyes because the young man smirked an unnerving smile, and then stood back to look at his prize.
'Well, I suppose you're wondering what you're doing here and I think I might just tell you, since I intend to kill you anyway.' The look in his pale blue eyes was one of pure madness and Cat began to truly realise her predicament. 'Do you not recognise me? 'She shook her head. 'No, why should you. After all, you abandoned me: you didn't want me. Understand now?' He must have recognised a growing understanding in her expression. 'Yes, mummy dearest. Here I stand, your long lost son. I've waited many years for this moment. You know, when I found out you had emigrated to America, I had no idea how lucky I could be. I didn't know you were part of the Stargate program, let alone out here in Atlantis, until I arrived and saw you standing on the pier. Even then, I couldn't be sure, until I looked more closely at this.' He took out a crumpled photograph from his pocket and showed her the image of a rather pretty, if very young, teenage version of herself. 'There is a certain family likeness, don't you think?' He must have seen the effect he was having on her: the combined look of fear and tenderness that had crept into her blue eyes, almost the match of his in colour. 'Oh yes, I thought at first killing your charming colonel might be enough revenge, but you were all too quick to work out what I had poisoned him with. That was a clever one, don't you think? The nursery took a little bit of clearing out and was somewhat infested with a Pegasus version of house mice. Some rat poison did the trick very nicely and that's when I realised what I could do with it. It wasn't difficult: Chief Johnson saw me as a needy young man who needed a bit of feeding up and I watched her preparing your husband's breakfast on several occasions. Still, I should imagine that he suffered quite a lot of pain, didn't he? I'll have to be happy with that and in any case I now have you.'
Cat looked around her for the first time. She was out on the East Pier (that was ironic given her history with John here) leaning up against a side wall. She could hear and see the ocean, waves crashing against the edge of the pier. It was not a pleasant Atlantis night and there was clearly a storm brewing in the distance. On any other night, she might have revelled in the way the orange and purple light reflected off the water and onto the city's lower levels, casting magnificent shadows back across the sea, but tonight it only signified danger.
'Now, you might think that I would want a lovely family reunion with my darling mother, wouldn't you, but all I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember is kill you for what you did to me. I hated my so-called parents and they certainly didn't love me. That's why I left as soon as I could. I found your photograph in among some old documents, along with the adoption papers, and traced you through your marriage and divorce. Your ex-husband was perfectly happy to tell me where you had gone. I had the distinct impression that he doesn't like you very much either.' While he was speaking, he began to drag her towards the edge of the pier, pulling her closer and closer to the raging waters. 'Oh yes, I don't suppose you'll be able to swim very well with your hands tied, do you? And the best is, nobody will every work out where you've gone. Your delightful husband will be broken hearted at your disappearance and he'll have no reason to suspect me.'
He didn't look so strong and she tried everything she could to keep from going over the edge, but inexorably she was being pushed and tugged ever closer so that she could feel the biting spray on her face. Suddenly, her centre of gravity gave out and she toppled over into the icy water. Unable to swim or move her legs, she was rapidly sucked under the surface and her last sight was of the shimmering surface receding above her head as she sank into the water's depths.
***
It was Teyla who offered to fetch Cat. Lorne hadn't been able to locate Andrew Alexander and they knew that there was a chance that Cat was in danger, although they couldn't have known why. They had given her a little time to rest, knowing how exhausted she would be after her vigil at John's side, but she needed to know what was going on and why she had two marines outside her door. When Teyla couldn't get a reply, she immediately radioed through for Rodney to work his charms on the door and, when they found the bed unslept in, they began to panic. It didn't take long to realise that Cat was nowhere inside the city.
'I'll go to John and tell him what has happened,' Teyla offered. 'He needs to know.'
Rodney stood in stunned silence in Richard Woolsey's office. Lorne had as many men as he could muster searching the city for both Cat and Alexander, but they'd found nothing. Ronon was also out with the teams, unable to sit still and wait, needing to do something. Along with the others, he loved Cat in her own right, as well as needing to find her for his friend. None of them could imagine how John would cope if anything happened to her. Once a loner, she had given a meaning to his life and filled a void which he hadn't realised he had and their lives were now so intertwined that neither could be whole without the other.
Teyla's task was the least pleasant. John was still weak from the poison and she knew that he would want to be up and with the search the minute he heard the news. She had told him all she knew and had to watch the desperation etch itself on his handsome features. Within minutes he was up and dressed, and even Jennifer Keller didn't try to stop him. Still woozy from the poison, it took him several minutes to gain his bearings, then he had a sudden thought.
'Chuck. Have you checked in the water? Remember Ford?'
Up in the control room, this time Chuck did not argue the point with the Colonel and broadened his scan to the waters around the city. There, in the water, was a faint life sign. 'I think I've found her, sir. In the sea, just off the end of the East Pier, but the life sign is faint. You'll need to be quick.'
John found a renewed strength, adrenalin coursing through him. 'Ronon take a team to the East Pier immediately and any engineers join him quickly with as much equipment as you can gather. Lorne, we still need to look for that bastard. Make sure you have at least two teams searching for him and when they find him, I want him in the cells immediately. Leave him to me.' The tone in his CO's voice left Evan Lorne in no doubt what would be coming to the nurse, if they were unable to save Cat.
***
They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you're drowning, and for Cat that was certainly true. Well, certainly her life with John. The good times, the bad times, the extra-ordinary love-making, the feel of his hands on her body, the feel of his body on her hands, all this and more went through her head as she sank into the sea. It was almost comfortable. She knew she couldn't swim and she knew she was dying and there was something calming in that acceptance. She was vaguely aware of a noise above her and thought she might have felt strong arms around her shoulders, but knew that it was a hallucination brought on by lack of oxygen. Finally, she felt unconsciousness almost gently ease itself into every cell of her body as she gave up the fight and let the darkness cover her like a blanket.
Coming around was at first much less comfortable. She was aware of a searing pain in her chest, followed by a violent chest wobbling cough as the water spewed from her lungs. She half expected the eyes looking into hers to be a piercing blue, convinced at the last that her son must have rethought his murderous intentions. How much better were the hazel eyes, looking at her with such love and concern? She knew that she could die happy looking into those expressive eyes, and when she finally focussed on the rest of the face, she took a moment to take in its beauty. Strong arms lifted her onto a gurney and she was rushed to the infirmary, John by her side, vaguely aware of a very wet and dripping Ronon at the other. Several times she heard John say 'I love you', and she tried to say the words back but nothing came out of her mouth. Most importantly, she knew she was alright and eventually, drug-induced although she didn't know it, she fell into a restful sleep.
Several times in the night, Cat stirred slightly and was aware of the sleeping form of her husband on the bed next to her, giving her great comfort, and it wasn't until early morning that the memories of what had happened began to encroach on her consciousness, initially as nightmares before coalescing into reality. Only then did the significance of the previous night sink in. She had found her son, he had tried to kill her and John knew nothing about him or her history; all this at a time when the topic of having a baby was so sensitive between them. How would he react to the news?
When she opened her eyes properly, John was propped up in the bed next to her, i-pod leads in his ears, probably listening to Johnny Cash she thought. She smiled at the slightly childish set of his mouth, and at the hair, which was even wilder than usual, little grey flecks just noticeable along his hair line and on his unshaved chin. The contrast of youthfulness and these little signs of aging was more of the conundrum that made up John Sheppard and what made him impossible to age if you didn't know him and she loved it. She knew that the grey had begun to pepper the darker hair that disappeared beneath his hospital scrubs and carried on downwards, past his still firm and youthful abdomen. She doubted whether a part of him would ever really grow up and yet he was all the man she could have ever wanted.
He turned to her, feeling her eyes on him, and smiled one of his 'special' smiles: the one that always made her knees turn to jelly and her heart pound like a silly schoolgirl. 'How are you this morning? I would come over and give you a hug, but I'm under strict instructions to stay where I am. If I'm a good boy, I'll be let out today and there are things I need to do.' His smile stayed, but the eyes shut it out and she knew from experience that this was his 'I am reassuring you by being cheery but there's bad stuff I have to deal with but I'm not going to worry you about' face. Cat smiled a bleary good morning and drifted back to sleep.
The next time she woke up, John's bed was empty and Jennifer Keller was fussing over the medicine cabinet. 'Um, hello Doctor,' she whispered, the voice a little quieter than she expected. 'Where's John?
'He's alright, considering what you've both been through. Good news! Lorne found that damn nurse holed out in a disused lab in the depths of Atlantis. Apparently he has quite a strong ATA gene and was able to open the doors without much difficulty. In fact, his gene is almost as strong as yours and the Colonel's. That's where Colonel Sheppard is, by the way. They're questioning the nurse now. Everyone is very puzzled about why he did what he did.'
Cat's heart sank. She had no idea how John would behave at the news that she was already a parent, or that she had kept such a big secret from him. In the circumstances she did what she often did: closed her eyes and tried to think nice thoughts, as ever of John.
***
Andrew Alexander stood defiantly in the cell, surrounded by the shimmering Ancient force-shield. He really hadn't expected to be caught and it was an inconvenience, but what he knew above all else was that there was still a revenge card to play. He had been successful so far. While the man glowering at him from the other side of the field was still alive, his mother was dead, drowned in the deep ocean which was a fitting tribute to the way she had left him, drowning without the maternal love that he so richly deserved. The blue eyes glimmered coldly as he made eye-contact with the other man.
'Hello Colonel. I'm surprised to see you up and looking so well.'
John Sheppard looked back at the strange young man, trying to restrain himself from bursting into the cell and beating him senseless. He could forgive the attempt on his own life, but not for what he had tried to do to Cat. Apart from the fact that it would probably ruin his career, a lesser consideration, he wanted to find out why he had tried to kill her. After all, this was the very cell where they had kept Steve and he'd no problem killing that devilish creature back then when Atlantis was in peril. How would this be any different? These warring emotions were the single reason why he had yet to utter a word, but eventually he gained some command on himself, enough at least to keep his voice steady.
'So, do you admit to attempting to poison me and to attempting to drown my wife?' The hard fought for words came out like bullets.
The expression on the young man's face turned from self-satisfied smugness to anger. 'What do you mean attempting? I pushed her into the water. Nobody could have survived that. You are lying!' The last three words erupted with a manic violence that almost made John step back. There was no doubting the insanity behind the eyes.
'That's right. We rescued her. You failed. But, what I don't understand is why you wanted to harm her. What have we ever done to you to deserve that?'
This was his moment. So she wasn't dead. It didn't matter. He would see his mother's marriage crumple in front of him and he stepped forward to the very edge of the cell, with a triumphant look in his eyes. 'Didn't she tell you? Oh, no of course she didn't. She would be too ashamed of her actions.' Very steadily he continued, rewarded by John's expression. 'I am her son. She gave birth to me when she was a teenager but she abandoned me. All these years, I've been waiting for the moment to take my revenge and here it is. You didn't know did you? Well, just imagine if she could do this to her own son, can you trust what she tells you? And what reasons has she given you for not wanting your children, eh?'
John tried to keep his expression neutral, knowing that he had given away too much already. All the hidden emotion of the last few months, the visit to Danthos, the Ancient device, the unspoken between them, threatened to surface. How long had she known that this was her son? How long had she lied to him? He tried in vain not to feel like a petulant teenager, but he was deeply hurt by the lack of trust she had shown in him and he felt that all the scaffolding that held their marriage together was crumbling. All this he attempted to hide beneath his usual veneer. 'You have admitted to attempted murder on both myself and Doctor Sheppard,' he said through gritted teeth. 'You will be shipped back to Earth at the earliest opportunity and it's up to you what the authorities decide to do with you. Be grateful that it's not my decision. My guess is that they'll lock you away safely where you can do no more harm to anyone.' And he turned his back decisively on the smirking nurse.
'It's ruined isn't it? It'll never be the same again. I won, didn't I,' he heard Alexander shouting as he left the room. And, as much as John wanted to turn round and shout back, 'no it isn't, everything's fine' he wasn't sure that he could believe it.
TBC
A.N. See, I told you the story would make sense, didn't I? The Danthos incident introduced the 'having children' theme which became more and more relevant to Cat's story. It's not over yet, though! Please R & R. You know how much I appreciate it.
