Thank you again for the lovely reviews. As always, I listen to you. Here's a New Year's present to you all.

Cat jumped so violently in her sleep that she fell out of the narrow hospital bed, landing with an uncomfortable thud on the floor. Within minutes, Jennifer Keller and Nurse Burns were at her side, clucking around her and helping her back. 'I'm so sorry, Doctor. I...I don't know what happened. I was having a nigh...um dream and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I'm okay really: just bruised pride.'

'Well, you'll excuse me if I check you over anyway, won't you?' Jennifer replied, while feeling along her limbs and flashing a light in her eyes. 'Well, you look okay. Nurse, could you leave us for a minute please?'

'What? What?' said Cat in annoyance. She knew what was coming and she really didn't want to talk about it.

Jennifer was insistent. 'You will have to talk to him sometime. He needs to know.'

'Yes, I know. But first he has to come and see me, and you may have noticed that he's not exactly been around much today.' It was true. Normally, when she was ill or hurt, he would be with her as much as possible. Today had been different, but then she was certain that today he had found out that she was a liar and a fraud. She imagined what she might do if she found out he was a father and hadn't told her and she knew that she would be very hurt for a while, but would forgive him eventually. John was a different matter. It had taken a lot for him to fall in love with her and to trust her enough to let her get close to him, years of hurt from a failed family life and a disastrous marriage having taken their toll. She doubted whether things could ever be the same between them again.

'Well, I think you are well enough to escape from here, don't you?' Jennifer was persisting. 'Shall I call the Colonel and ask him to come and get you?'

'You can try, but I doubt if he'll come. He'll probably send someone else. ' Ignoring Jennifer's surprised expression she continued in a rather forced and cheery voice, 'Bet you it's Teyla!'

Jennifer disappeared into her office, tactfully withdrawing as she tried to contact John, leaving Cat to contemplate the last few hours and her future. She had so carefully parcelled away her memory of 'David', now Andrew that she had never once suspected who he was, even though now the evidence was clear for her to see. She understood why she was so drawn to him and the maternal feelings that he had dragged so unexpectedly from her, not for him though but for the young ones in his care. She saw her likeness in his hair and eyes and the sharpness of features that was so typical of the tutor she so foolishly allowed to seduce her so many years ago. That a son should want to kill his mother so violently shocked her to the core, and yet it felt strangely impersonal and separate, as though she had no real connection to him and that worried her more than anything. She knew everyone supposed her to be in deep shock, the sympathetic looks of the nurses only confirming it, but she just wasn't. Maybe she was right after all: motherhood was not for her. The tears that were falling when Jennifer came back were not, as the Doctor supposed, for the loss of a son, but for the loss of a husband. No-one in her life had ever meant as much to her as John, nor would anyone again and she was grieving for what she was absolutely certain would never be.

Jennifer's sympathetic expression told her everything. 'Colonel Sheppard is a little tied up right now, but he has asked Teyla to collect you and see you back to your quarters. She'll bring you some clothes as well.' What Jennifer didn't add was John 's words: 'Teyla will know better than me what she will want to wear.' Such innocent words, but the doctor knew that, in the past, he would always have been the first by his wife's side with well-chosen clothes and a comforting arm and she didn't want to upset her friend further.

It took Teyla about an hour to arrive and in that time Cat had resolved on one last action before she considered her future. It would take a little doing: she knew how much her good, no her best female friend, would want to be with her and help her through the next few hours, but she would need to find a way to get rid of her. In the end, she feigned extreme tiredness, staggering a little more on the way back to her quarters than she needed, and begged some time to rest in peace and quiet. She hated lying to Teyla, but this was important and she was quite determined; Teyla, after some persuading, finally left her to supposedly sleep. Even now, she made a bet with herself. If by any chance John came to their quarters, took her in his arms and told her he was fine and everything would be alright, then she wouldn't go through with her plan. He would stroke her hair and she would look into his beautiful hazel eyes, filled with forgiveness, and they would live happily ever after. She would give him five hours. By then, Atlantis would be settling into a quieter evening ritual and the corridors would be less frenetic, making her task much easier.

She couldn't sleep. The clock ticked by more slowly than she thought possible and a couple of times she imagined a noise outside the door as of someone about to enter. Each time her hopes were dashed and by nine o'clock the hours were up. It was a dry-eyed and strangely calm Cat who walked along the corridors that evening, jumping into the shadows to avoid unnecessary curiosity. In her daze, she failed to notice the sights and sounds of the city and how Atlantis was almost 'put-out' by one of her favourite children's casual attitude to her beauty, the lights coming on a little more sluggishly for Cat than their usual eager sparkiness. The cells were deep in the bowels of the city and the one she was looking for was well-guarded, but by a young marine who she knew very well. She needed to use all her charm if she were to get past him.

'Hi Jake, how are you?' she asked the soldier, with as charming a smile as she could muster. She knew him to be quite besotted with her and he often followed her with endearing puppy dog eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. John often joked with her about the effect she had on some of his soldiers, teasing her that if they wouldn't follow his orders, he'd just send her along to flutter her eyelids at them.

He blushed uncontrollably. 'I'm fine m'am. What can I do for you?'

'Well, you see, I would very much like to see my son, the prisoner, before he is shipped off to Earth.' Seeing him about to object she added, 'Colonel Sheppard thinks it would be a good idea, you know for both my son and I, to say our farewells, and you can stand right by the entrance ready to defend me with those big strong arms of yours if I need help.' She batted her eyelashes and gently placed her hand on his arm.

After a few more stuttered words of objection, he gave in, but only on the proviso that he contact Colonel Sheppard once she was in the cell, just to make sure that it was alright. She reluctantly agreed. After all, she could do what she needed to do in the time it would take John to get down here. She hated the thought that she might have got the sweet young man into trouble and hoped that he would be understanding.

Andrew was standing bolt upright in the cell, blue eyes coldly watching her, met by the equally hardened and determined eyes of his mother. She took a deep breath as the force shield was opened and stepped into the cell, with one last re-assuring smile at the marine.

'Well, David,' she very deliberately used the name she had given him, 'as you can see, I'm quite well despite all your best endeavours. I wanted to come and say goodbye and to let you know that I forgive you.'

For a moment he said nothing, then in an emotionless voice he replied, 'My name is Andrew and as far as I am concerned you are not my mother. I am sorry that you are not dead, but I have the great pleasure of knowing that I have ruined your marriage. Your husband now knows what a dried up piece of meat you really are and that you will never bear his children. He knows that you are a liar and not to be trusted. I saw it in his eyes.' At this, he gave out a sinister sneer, then shut his mouth in a tight and unpleasant slit.

Cat heard a shout behind her and knew that she was running out of time. Though she couldn't see who it was, she knew it was John and she had no intention of letting him stop her now. Quickly, she strode towards her son, put both her hands on his arms and raised herself up on her tiptoes so that she could whisper in his ear. What she said to him caused him to recoil back as though repelled by the opposite pole of a magnet, and then she felt herself dragged from the cell by powerful arms. All the time, she kept eye-contact with Andrew, enjoying her small moment of revenge on the man who might have killed them both, but had certainly ruined her life. The force shield snapped shut, but the arms refused to release her and she looked up into the furious face of her husband, white with anger. From behind her she heard Andrew shouting, some incoherent words, but among them she was able to pick out 'It's not true, It's not true. You're a liar,' before he sat down hard on the single bench and put his head in his hands.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' The words were almost spat out in an attempt to maintain some kind of control. 'Why are you here? What was so important that you had to visit him? What did you say to him?'

Cat managed to wriggle free of the hold he had on her and stood upright in the face of his tirade. She had nothing else to lose. 'I wanted to say goodbye to my son. I think I have a right to do that, don't you?'

For a moment, she thought he might hit her, reminded of the look her father used to give her which was always a precursor to some kind of beating, but then he grabbed hold of her arm firmly and started to pull her away from the cell and towards their quarters. It wasn't until they were inside their rooms that he looked at her with such an intense gaze that she thought she might faint from its power, as though he could burn the truth from her. Wordlessly, he propelled her to the bed and forced her to sit down, then paced the room for several minutes, collecting himself. Cat waited for whatever was to come, expecting some kind of request for separation, some suggestion of a need to be apart, some reprimand for her actions, both past and present, but he stayed silent. Eventually, he turned to face her and simply said, 'I can't do this right now,' and turning on his heels left the room. She had no doubt that the door would be firmly locked and guards posted outside and that she was now a prisoner.

'Damn you John Sheppard!' she shouted at the empty room. 'Trust you not to be able to face it! Why do you always walk away?' Suddenly, everything closed in on her, all the pent up emotions spilled out and she cried in a way she had never cried before.

***

John watched from the balcony as the young nurse, no Cat's son although that was difficult to grasp, was led towards the centre of the control room, ready to be beamed on board The Daedelus. There was something in the man's manner that suggested defeat, so far removed from the cocky attitude he had shown the day before and he wondered again what Cat had said to affect him so much.

'Daedelus, this is Sheppard. The cargo is ready to come on board,' he reported to Caldwell, and then the man and his guard were beamed from Atlantis. It was unlikely, John thought, that they would ever see or hear from him again, given the places where the military tended to bury their criminally insane security risks.

With a scowl, he turned from the scene. Until this moment, he had focussed entirely on eradicating the man's presence from the city, as if that alone could be the cure-all for their problems, but there were issues that he now needed to face head on and, God knows, he wasn't very good at that. Quite why he had reacted so violently to the recent revelations he hadn't logically been able to work out, but somehow his relationship with Cat felt violated. He knew that he was being incredibly selfish, knew that she must be going through hell, and knew that he needed to do something to try and make it better, if their marriage were to be saved, but he also knew that he was really crap at emotional scenes and even worse at dealing with his own feelings.

The young marine standing guard at the bottom of the gate room steps couldn't fail to notice how tired his CO looked. Normally, the man held such a youthful air, that none of them had yet to correctly guess his age, but he looked haggard and worn, the lines around his eyes more prominent and his mouth set in a tired grimace which was so different from the usually light and friendly smile. By now, the word had gone round the city that the would -be -murderer and the nurse were one and the same, Doctor Sheppard's long lost son, and the buzz was that Colonel Sheppard and she were not exactly on talking terms. In fact, several people had witnessed the way he had dragged her to her quarters, and some had even suggested that he had hit her, although he doubted that and thought it to be the usual silly city tittle-tattle. In any case, he hoped that they sorted it out soon, because they all knew that, from experience, when the Colonel was in a bad mood, life for the city's military garrison could become very difficult indeed!

***

Jennifer Keller was in something of a quandary. She knew what she ought to do, medical ethics and her doctor's oath both dictated the need for patient confidentiality, but she was also a friend of both the Sheppards and wanted to find a way to bring them together. In the end, she decided to call on another good friend, Teyla; she would know the best course of action. With determination, she headed off to Teyla's rooms, already formulating a possible plan of campaign.

***

At some point in the day, one of the young guards informed her that Andrew Alexander had left the city. Cat sighed a huge sigh of relief. His presence felt like the poison he had tried to kill John with. Still, he had not been to see her. She had really convinced herself that he would come once Andrew had left the city, but as the hours ticked by she began to despair. She didn't believe that she had ever suffered so powerful a range of emotions, and at times she thought she might go quite mad. In fact, she had withdrawn into 'their' bed and was comforting herself with the smell of his pillow, hugging it tightly to her chest as though she could somehow hold onto him by doing so. The trouble was that having a suggestion of him so close to her awoke in her all the memories of the exciting, wonderful, erotic, passionate moments they had spent together, leaving her with a strange conflict of the extreme sadness of loss with the deep-felt stirrings that she always felt when such thoughts popped into her mind.

The door buzzed. 'Hello Cat, it's Teyla. Can I come in?'

Cat paused for a moment. After all, she had lied to her best friend and she needed to apologise for that. 'Come in, Teyla.' She took a deep breath, then added as her friend entered the room, 'I'm really sorry I lied to you, Teyla. I had to see Andrew before he left, you see, and...'

Teyla cut her off with a wave of a hand and a kind smile. 'It is forgotten. Do not concern yourself. Now then, I believe that it is time you escaped from this prison. I think the Earth expression is 'I am here to spring you.' Cat couldn't help but smile. Whenever Teyla attempted to use an Earth idiom it always sounded awkward and out of place.

'I'm not certain that I'm even allowed out, am I?' She was genuinely not sure if she were to be considered a prisoner or not.

'The guards will let you pass. I told them that Colonel Sheppard wishes to see you in his office.' At the brightening in Cat's eyes she quickly added, 'but I am sorry to say that I lied about that. I think that it is time you got rid of some of those emotions that are making you appear so tired. It is never correct to bottle-up feelings. I have just the remedy. Put on your exercise clothes. You are coming with me to the gym for a little bit of exercise.'

'I really don't think that it's a good idea right now.' However, Teyla was absolutely insistent and Cat couldn't think of a way out of this one, so finally she reluctantly agreed, with the proviso that, 'I'm still not strong physically so I may have to go easy this time.'

The gym was deserted apart from the two women. Cat was surprised. Normally, Teyla's idea of 'going easy' was her idea of physical abuse, but her friend really did seem to be gentle today. She even began to wonder if Teyla knew her well-kept 'secret', but dismissed it as impossible and even when she saw Jennifer enter the room she wasn't suspicious. Once or twice her two friends shared awkward glances and she could have sworn that Jennifer shrugged her shoulders, but other than that she assumed that it was just their way of trying to help. Indeed, Teyla seemed to be 'letting' her win, and more than once she was able to floor her with very little effort. Why the mood changed, she couldn't work out at first, because all of a sudden Teyla clearly decided that enough was enough and Cat found herself in the more usual position of flat on her back, albeit her fall softened by an exercise mattress.

At that moment she heard Jennifer shout. 'That's enough, Teyla. Cat, this is madness. Do you know what harm you could do to the baby?'

She heard a low gasp behind her and, rising to a sitting position, turned round to see the disappearing form of her husband, gone before she could utter a word to him. Getting to her feet, she stared from Teyla to Jennifer, instantly grasping what had happened. 'Doctor Keller. I am assuming that you told Teyla that I'm pregnant. How could you? I thought that went against all you medical ethics.'

Jennifer shifted uncomfortably. 'I'm so sorry, Cat. I really thought that, if he knew you were expecting his baby, he might just come to his senses.'

'Well, he's clearly not that impressed is he?' Cat didn't know what to feel. He'd walked away from her at the very news that, several weeks ago, should have made him the happiest man alive. Anger surfaced, along with hot tears. 'Thanks for nothing, ladies. I guess I know what to do now.' And, she stormed from the room, back to 'their' quarters.

TBC

A.N. Well, I had thought to end it here, but it all seemed too sudden, given the heightened emotions being felt by both John and Cat. If you want some TLC for the couple, please R & R and I might just be able to offer up some pickings for the thunkers out there!