Thanks to all my lovely reviewers. Well, here it is! The last chapter. *sobs*
She packed her small bag as quickly as possible, taking only the bare essentials. Watching John's back leaving the gym, she knew what she had to do. If he were unprepared to accept her, warts and all, then she was leaving. It grieved her to think that the city would no longer be her home, but she felt a cold sort of numbness when she thought about leaving him. When she had most needed him he had let her down, held back by that damn emotional straightjacket that had so badly damaged his personal relationships in the past. Cat would have been totally unprepared to admit that she was doing exactly what he had at the door of the gym, running away rather than facing up. For her, John turning his back on her felt like an act of betrayal and her stubbornness could not allow her to see it any other way.
The jumper bay was fortunately fairly quiet, and the unsuspecting guards failed to see the quiet footed figure that crept into Jumper 3. She had become quite a proficient pilot (she had a very good teacher) and knew that if she could get as far as dialling the gate, then she couldn't be stopped. Unnoticed, she started up the engines and closed the rear door, quickly punching in the co-ordinates to her destination, vaguely aware of the futile commotion outside the jumper as the two soldiers realised that someone was stealing it. The doors below her opened and the little ship silently descended into the control room. One guard attempted to stop her by rather uselessly pointing a gun in the jumper's direction and she could see Richard Woolsey shouting something from the balcony. The moment before she went through the gate she glimpsed John running into the gate room as though his life depended on it, horrified at the face he recognised behind the controls of the jumper, and then she was gone.
The gate shut down to absolute silence as though the room's occupants were frozen in time: Richard Woolsey with one hand raised in a stop gesture, the soldiers pointing their guns at the gate and John in mid shout. Then as quickly it burst into activity. John could barely utter the words he needed to, but swallowed his emotions and fell back on his military training.
'Quickly, find out which address she went to. It's a long shot, but she may stay at the same location. If she doesn't, then we'll just have to harvest the signatures from the other gate.' Then he buzzed his radio. 'Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, suit up and get down to the gate room immediately. I'll tell you more when you get here.' He glanced up at Woolsey who simply nodded his permission, before he hurtled from the room to the smaller ante-room which served as their weapons and kit room. His mind was racing. It was so little time since he'd walked out of the gym and he really hadn't had any time to collect his thoughts. He was a man who liked to process things slowly and methodically and there'd been an awful lot to process in the last few days. He'd hardly had time to come to terms with the attempt on his life and Cat's, let alone the astonishing revelation that Andrew Alexander was her son and Jennifer Keller's words were still ringing in his ears. And now, true to character, Cat had gone off by herself but this time it wasn't just some hidden space in the city, but God knows where in the galaxy.
By the time he reached the weapons room, his team were already there and his heart was pounding painfully in his chest. The numbed shock he'd felt at first had now mutated into a combination of sheer panic and a violent self disgust at his actions and behaviour. He knew that he had behaved abysmally most of the way through the turbulent events, none more so than when he turned on his heel rather than taking her in his arms and letting her know how much he loved her and how delighted he was at her news. Cursing his foolishness, he said very little to the others, apart from a curt summary of the facts. He might have lost her this time; he might have lost them and his forehead was set with the furrowed frown that she so often managed to smooth away; his mouth grimly tight as SGA1 waited for the gate to dial.
***
As soon as the gate shut down behind her, Cat dumped the jumper and redialled. She knew exactly where she was going. After all, given her recent troubles, it really did seem the most appropriate place to go and possibly not one where John would think of looking. She quickly dialled the address, desperate to open a wormhole before Atlantis could dial her current location, and ran through the shimmering circle. The sharp whoosh as the gate shut down behind her felt like a door had closed on something important and each footstep she took was a step further away from the person she had believed to be her destiny. After all, she wasn't entirely alone, was she? She was carrying his child and there would always be a part of him that she could hang on to.
***
The abandoned jumper sat rather solemnly by the gate, hatch wide agape, and the mood of the team was much the same. John hadn't been surprised to find her already gone, and now Rodney was trying to download the last dialled addresses onto his laptop. Sitting on a rock, at some distance from the rest of his team, John was battling with emotions that now threatened to surface and he was damned if he was going to show them what he was feeling. Always a private man, he prided himself on his self control. I mean, life had thrown its fair share of thunderbolts at him and he had learned to shrug off each one as a means of self protection and survival. He was wearing the dark aviators that were now most effectively masking the feelings that his eyes could no longer shut out and from a distance only Teyla could sense what he was suffering, made all the worse by the most extreme of self-recriminations and a powerful sense of guilt. John didn't cry often, but he was very close to it and, if the others had been any closer, they would have seen his shoulders shaking, his feelings threatening to overpower him. How had things got so bad between them? Why hadn't he been able to accept straight away that Cat was bound to have secrets that she would rather keep from him? He had some that he had never divulged to her, after all. He wanted, no needed, to have her in his arms again, to kiss her soft lips and smell her very special perfume, that combination of vanilla and raspberries which he could almost imagine even now, and to press his hand on her belly and tell her how much he loved her and wanted their baby.
'Come on John, get a grip,' he thought, and running his hand through his unruly hair, stood up purposefully and strode over to Rodney. 'Any joy?'
'Well, I've managed to harvest a few addresses and I've sent a data-stream back to Atlantis. If we can run the addresses through our database, we might be able to work out where she might have gone?' Rodney glanced uncomfortably at his friend. They were not really ones for discussing 'feelings' and tended to offer each other crumbs of comfort with a grunt or an embarrassed glance. 'Um, are you alright?' He needn't have bothered. Although he couldn't see the withering look from behind the glasses, he knew from the set of his friend's mouth and the rigidity of his stance that he wasn't going to get an answer, let alone the usual 'I'm fine.'
It took Amelia Banks about ten tense minutes to come up with a list of planet names, all possible locations for Cat's quick exit. John only hoped that she had stayed put at the next one, or he knew by experience that the search might be futile, his busy brain already working out the mathematical computations. There were thirty planet names on the list and she could be at any one of them. He was about to despair when he recognised a familiar name. It made an odd kind of sense. That was where all their troubles seemed to have begun. Yes, this must be it.
'Rodney. I think I know where she is.' He pointed at the name that was next to the address.
Rodney stared at him incredulously then replied, 'Okay, I guess it's as good as anywhere. Danthos it is!'
***
Why she'd chosen to come here she couldn't say. Maybe it felt like completing the circle. Maybe her pregnancy drew her to this now fertile planet. Whatever the reason High Counsellor Balthus, who had initially been taken aback by her unexpected arrival, had obviously computed the possible benefits of having the wife of Atlantis' military commander, and the woman who many saw as their redeemer, as a guest. Right now, she didn't really want to consider what he thought those benefits might be. She was just grateful for a place to rest and where nobody asked any questions. In fact, she had never been so tired before and took the soft bed offered her with no real thought of what might happen next, falling asleep within seconds of her head hitting the pillow.
Rodney had no real expectation of finding Cat on Danthos, but then he didn't know her as well as John. For him, the fact that she ran away reminded him so much of the way Ford had disappeared, that he firmly believed she must have gated somewhere else, only staying on the planet for as much time as it took to dial the gate again. He continued to glance anxiously at his friend, now staunchly stomping ahead of him towards Danthos' main settlement. Despite his so-called insensitivity, he recognised the distress John was feeling and was grateful for the dark aviators which covered the eyes so effectively. Years of experience and getting to know the man, who in a million years he shouldn't ever have been able to call such a close friend, told him to stay clear and keep his distance. Ronon walked next to him, sharing the occasional worried look, protective as ever, and Teyla glided calmly just behind them. Rodney was not looking forward to John's reaction if Cat was not here. He looked again at his life-signs detector: too many people to identify one individual, but they were heading towards the main conglomeration. Finding one individual here could be like finding a needle in a haystack.
As they entered the village, so like many others they had come across in the galaxy, John was surprised to be greeted by a welcome party, headed by High Counsellor Balthus himself. John still harboured serious resentment against the little man and the annoyingly smug and self-satisfied smile that was he was wearing only served to increase his bad mood. With as much grace as he could muster, he folded his arms in front of him, habitually resting on his P90, and attempted a smile. It was just as well that he kept his glasses on, given the expression in his eyes that would have given him away.
'Colonel Sheppard?' began the other man. 'It is a pleasure to see you again. What can we do for you?'
'High Counsellor, I wish I could share your pleasure. Believe me, we are only here because we are looking for someone. We've not quite forgiven you for the whole 'put us all in danger with the strange blue energy blast thing'. Still, there may be a way that you can make it up to us.' John ensured that the right level of threat and danger was in his voice, not too difficult given how he was feeling.
'Anything, Colonel. We would be delighted to be back on friendly relations with Atlantis,' wheedled Balthus. John shushed Rodney, who had snorted derisively behind him and muttered something along the lines of 'I bet you would'. 'Tell me how we can help?'
John cleared his throat, unsure of what to say next and, as ever, Teyla stepped in, the consummate diplomat. 'We are looking for Doctor Sheppard, High Counsellor, and we have reason to believe she may have come here. I am certain that Mr Woolsey would be very pleased if you could help us find her.'
Balthus paused, the irritating smile becoming even broader. 'Well, Colonel, I think we may just be able to help you.'
Cat awoke to some distant sounds, unaware at first of where or what time it was. She was warm and comfortable, bundled up in an array of multi-coloured quilts and blankets which muffled her protectively from the outside world. She felt as though she could stay here forever, frozen in this moment, comfortable and safe for the first time in weeks. She had just settled down into the covers again when the door to her room flew open, bringing with it a blast of cold air, a dark figure outlined in the bright light outside, an outline whose head had a familiar spiky shadow.
'Cat! Oh my God, are you alright?' He slammed the door behind him, made the bed in two strides and took her in his arms, holding her as though he would never let her go, his whole body quivering with the release of all the pent up emotions he had been suffering. Eventually he released her, but only so that he could see her face, which he took gently between his hands, staring into her eyes, trying to catch her feelings. 'I'm so sorry, my darling. Sorry for everything. Sorry for being such an insensitive and selfish bastard. Please forgive me? Please say you forgive me? I love you so much. Please say we can put this whole nightmare behind us.' He must have noticed the softening expression in her eyes and the tears beginning to well up as he added, 'After all, you need someone to look after you even more, now we're going to be parents.' At this, he placed his left hand gently on her stomach, the smile in his hazel eyes showing her how much he loved her and how much he wanted their baby, and then he paused expectantly, hoping for some kind of response from her.
She was so stunned by his sudden and unexpected arrival that she was literally speechless, only made worse by the look in his eyes and the feel of his large hand gently stroking her belly. It wasn't until fear and doubt begin to creep into his expression that she found any words at all. 'You, you really want this baby? I mean, I wasn't sure when you walked out of the gym and you were so upset with me about the other business that I thought you didn't want me anymore. I'd understand if that's how you feel, but I just can't stay on Atlantis if it is. That's why I left.' At this, it all became too much for her and she began to cry, big tears rolling down her cheeks like a two year old.
She felt his arms tighten protectively around her, and then holding her chin in his hand he kissed her softly. 'I want you. I need you. Always,' he managed to utter, before he kissed her again, this time the kiss becoming deeper and more passionate. When they finally drew breath, she just about managed to utter the words, 'I love you', before he kissed her again, and the fact that they were lying on a large soft bed became very convenient. Forgotten were all the torments of the last days and also the group of people waiting expectantly outside. In any case, if they could have looked they would have seen the rest of the team sitting with Balthus at a tactful distance, only occasionally passing wary glances at the closed door. If they knew the couple well, it might be some time before they appeared.
'I'd better take this uniform off then,' he smiled, as he undid his tack vest and threw it on the floor. John slowly kissed the side of her neck, nuzzling her just behind her left ear, taking in the perfume that he had imagined just an hour ago. Gently he unbuttoned her shirt, kissing downwards from her neck and across her breasts, causing her to whimper, then he undid the zip of her trousers, chortling at the already undoable button and wondering how he could have been so blind not to have noticed the slight swelling just beginning to show. He let his hand rest on her belly, stroking her softly, and looking again into her eyes kissed her so lovingly that she could be in no doubt of how he felt. 'You make me very happy, my love,' he whispered, 'and I will make damn sure that you never have to doubt my support and love again', then he followed his hand with his mouth, until she moaned with the pleasure of his touch; rising up again he straddled her carefully, letting her see precisely what effect she was having on him.
Cat looked up at the man she loved, drinking in the look of him slowly, needing the reassurance that he was actually with her. He knew how much she enjoyed watching him undress and slowly and deliberately he undid his shirt buttons, and then took off the black t-shirt underneath, slightly ruffling his hair as he did. Talk of babies and pregnancies would happen later. Right now she moved her hands from his chest, down his firm stomach, and undoing his trouser belt, slowly pulled down the zip. He helped her take off his black trousers with a deliberately sexy wiggle and a naughty smile then, making sure that she was also suitably undressed, lowered himself gently onto her, nibbling her left ear seductively as he did. In moments they were lost in each other, regardless of anything else around them, let alone any noises that might creep out via the gaps in the rickety door.
Outside, Ronon smiled at Teyla. All was finally well and life could finally get back to normal. Rodney inwardly reflected on the wonders of this galaxy, not one easily given to fantastical thoughts. They had come full circle, and somehow the events all those months ago on this very planet had produced a mother twice over. He suspected, however, that the mother she was about to become would be the happier and he actually giggled out loud, winning surprised looks from his team mates, at the thought of John Sheppard as a father and at all the dashed hopes of the women of Atlantis that one day he might be theirs.
THE END
Or is it?
If you want the continuation of the John/Cat story please R&R. I hope you liked it.
