"Danna, wake up!" Sasori felt himself being shaken rather forcefully, and when he opened his eyes, Deidara was sitting next to his cot with a look of relief on his face. "Finally. You've been asleep for about two days…I was starting to think you'd died, un!" "TWO DAYS!?" Sasori sprung out of the cot and got tangled up in his blankets. He fell to the floor with a hollow thud. Deidara helped him out of his blankets, then said, "Yeah. We have to go!" "Right now? I don't want to go anywhere, Dei…" Deidara grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard. "DANNA!!" "What day is it…?" "Who cares, un? I need to get the hell out of this cave before I go insane!!" "Okay, okay," Sasori was finally starting to come around a little. "Give me a few minutes and we'll leave…Jesus Christ, boy…" He packed a few choice toxins, folded up his blankets, slipped on his shoes, and they left the cave. "I just don't know how you can sleep like that, un," Deidara commented as they made their way down the mountain. Sasori was beginning to get frustrated because he always had trouble getting down this steep of a slope without any mishaps or losses of balance, and Deidara seemed to be able to walk right down without even slipping on loose pebbles. "Dei, I hate you," Sasori murmured, trying desperately to keep his balance. Deidara looked back, and giggled. He was about twelve feet in front of Sasori, who was struggling with every step. "The trick is to keep your eyes on the rocks, un…" "That's what I've been doing." Deidara shrugged. "Maybe you just suck at this, yeah…" Sasori, in a fit of rage, unraveled the cable from his stomach, and shot it straight at Deidara, winding him up and bringing him back up the mountain to where Sasori was. "I will drop you off the side of this cliff," he whispered. To his surprise, Deidara looked quite calm, but then as he thought it through, he realized there were at least a hundred different ways he could get out of death. With that, he simply dropped the boy and jumped down after him. Channeling chakra through his hands as Deidara was, he said, "I dunno why I never thought of this before! It's a hell of a lot faster than walking down!" Deidara smiled, and his feet touched grass almost silently. Sasori was not so lucky. He had been caught up watching Deidara's graceful movements and had lost track of his own, landing in a crumpled heap on the ground. "Are you okay, un? You've been acting weird lately, un…" "Just fine…" He got up and dusted himself off, and they began walking towards the mountains. "You know, this would be a lot more fun if we were stoned, un," Deidara mumbled, springing ahead with new found energy. "Dei, you think everything would be a lot more fun if we were stoned…but really, if you want to be wasted the whole trip, keep your eyes to the ground. You might find something like…like…" Sasori scanned the ground. "Like these!" He had found a whole bunch of Psilocybin mushrooms beside a tree that Deidara had completely overlooked. "Holy shit, un…" Deidara stood in awe of the mushrooms, as if he had never seen anything quite as amazing as this. "I think I've died and somehow gone to heaven, yeah…Damn, Danna, I need to take you outside more often!" Sasori groaned. "I took YOU outside, dumbass. Just pick your damned mushrooms and start tripping so I can have some entertainment…" "I'm so happy I could kiss you, un!" Sasori hoped he wasn't blushing. But…just his luck… "Danna…" Deidara turned pink, too. "You fucking pervert, un!" Sasori shoved him playfully. "Shut up, Dei…seriously. Pick your shrooms and lets get the hell out of here. We have to make it over the mountains by nightfall." Deidara knelt down and plucked each mushroom from the ground, looking quite pleased, and placed them carefully in one of his pockets. "So, where are we going, un? It's pretty obvious we aren't making it to either hidden village in one day, un." Sasori shook his head. "Not unless we could fly or something…we're going to stay the night in an outpost town. They almost never have any knowledge of ninja criminals unless they're within twelve miles of a ninja village." "Oh…that sounds good, I suppose, un…" Suddenly Deidara seemed a little distant. Normally, Sasori wouldn't have cared, but it was Deidara. He had to know. "Dei? What's wrong?" "What the fuck do you care, un?" he snapped, and Sasori shook his head. "Nothing…I don't care!" The rest of the walk was held in a deep, tense silence. Deidara had grown inexplicably angry with him, so Sasori had decided he'd just shut up. The last thing he wanted was to permanently damage the pathetic relationship he'd already built with this boy.
Nearly six hours later, they had made it to the little village, and had rented out a motel room. It wasn't much, but it had two beds, a television, a bathroom, and a bible (though Sasori was unsure of what the hell they were going to do with a bible, as neither of them was religious). Deidara had still not said anything to him that was worth noting. He merely muttered "shower" and went into the bathroom for a while. Sasori was exhausting his mind, trying to figure our what he had done to piss Deidara off this badly. As he had observed before, he had a rather short temper, but he was convinced he hadn't done anything to piss him off. "I should ask him," Sasori murmured, resting his forehead on his knees. Soon, Deidara emerged from the bathroom. When he opened the door, steam had billowed out after him, and what little skin was exposed looked slightly irritated. "Which sin were you trying to burn off your body this time?" Sasori asked him bitterly. He knew Deidara had done it on purpose, but was unsure how to say this, so he merely "took a tone" with him. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, un." Deidara's voice had dropped to a dangerous whisper, and Sasori knew better than to push it. "Look, I'm sorry," he said. "You just haven't been yourself today and if you're willing to tell me, I want to know what's wrong…" "Nothing," Deidara insisted. "I've been just fine, un…" "Dei!" "Just shut up, un!" Deidara turned right back around, and Sasori heard the shower turn back on again, followed by cries of pain, and some other noise that Sasori couldn't identify. It didn't matter. He knew the water was way too hot, so he got up and started pounding on the door. "TURN THE FUCKING WATER OFF OR I'LL BUST DOWN THE DOOR AND KILL YOU!!" He didn't mean it this time…not this time. He just wanted to make sure Deidara was okay…he wanted everything to be okay. "Go away, un!" He could hear the sobs shaking the boy's voice, and became slightly frustrated. "I AM NOT GOING AWAY UNTIL YOU TURN OFF THE WATER! I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" But the water didn't turn off, and Sasori knew Deidara was still drenching himself in scalding water. "DAMNIT, YOU GIVE ME NO OTHER CHOICE!!" Sasori unwound a bit of his cable, and used the tip of it to break the doorknob clear off the door, which merely swung inward after that. His eyes were met with a rather depressing sight. Deidara was curled up on the floor of the shower, skin bright red and almost bleeding, and sobbing his eyes out. Sasori froze. He didn't know how to process the information being shown to him. Deidara had gained some weight, which was good, but at the same time, he was in an absolutely pathetic state. Blood was staining the water an orangey sort of pink, and Sasori rushed forward and turned the water off. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, mostly talking to himself, as he wrapped Deidara in a towel. Blood began to seep through, and Sasori felt panicky. He knew Deidara's back wasn't bleeding…so what was? He began wracking his brains, but nothing came to mind. Nothing except… "Deidara, show me your arms…" Deidara stuck out his arms so only the tops could be seen. Droplets of scarlet blood cascaded from the bottoms of his arms like a light rain. Sasori grabbed his partner's wrists, turned his arms over, and knew he would have vomited if he'd had a stomach. All over Deidara's arms were deep cuts, crisscrossing each other and some even left little flaps of skin hanging. They looked like they were starting to get infected. "Dei…" he felt like he was going to cry. He couldn't. Not in front of Deidara. He turned his head, trying to get a hold on his emotions. It just didn't seem to be working. "Why did you do this?" Miraculously, his voice did not quiver with the overpowering pain he felt in his heart. Deidara did not answer, so Sasori was forced to wrap his arms in toilet paper and secure the makeshift bandages with masking tape. "Get dressed," Sasori commanded, and turned his back. He wasn't about to leave the bathroom. He had no idea what Deidara would try next. Fortunately, he didn't do anything but get dressed, so they went back out, sat on their beds, and turned on the television. There didn't really seem to be anything on that was of much interest, so they had to sit through two painful hours of some women's cooking and cleaning show. "They need to get cable, yeah…" Deidara muttered. "I hate it too, Dei," Sasori responded. "But there isn't really much we can do about it." After a few more minutes learning about how to color coordinate for a book club meeting, Deidara grabbed the remote and flicked the television off. "I've got a really lame idea, un, but it's the only thing we have to do…" "How do you know I wasn't enjoying that show?" Sasori asked, hiding his sarcasm. Deidara rolled his eyes. "Please! You were wearing the classic 'shoot me in the fucking head now' look, un…" Sasori sighed. "So, what's your idea?" "Spin the bottle, un." "What?!" "I said, Truth or Dare, yeah…you need to get your hearing checked…" "It's lame, but you're right…it's the only thing to do…" Deidara clapped his hands together stupidly, then pulled a face that seemed to mean he was horrified with what he'd just done. "Truth or dare?" "Dare," Sasori said, feeling reckless. Deidara thought for a moment, then said, "Okay, un. Is there an old-folks home in this village, un?" "No, but there are old people…" Deidara suddenly wore a most mischievous look. "Okay. What I want you to do is just walk right into some old broad's home, find her, and if she's asleep, un, wake her up, then announce to her that you are going to rape her because she's a sexy bitch, un. Then, kiss her on the forehead and leave." "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Deidara had no comment. "I am NOT kissing some old chick…especially on the forehead…" Suddenly, a picture of himself kissing Deidara flashed into his mind, and he whimpered. "Having dirty old woman sex thoughts, un?" Deidara asked. "Eh…no…not…not old women…" Was he really ready to admit this to Deidara? "Sasori-danna…you've been acting a little weird around me lately, un. Is everything okay?" This was moving way too fast. Sasori hardly knew which way was up right now. All he wanted was to kiss Deidara and get it over with, just to see how he'd react to such treatment. But it was wrong. He couldn't do something like that. What if Deidara didn't see him like that? It was most likely that he didn't, anyway! "Danna, are you okay? You aren't having a heart attack, are you, un?" "No," Sasori gasped. "Not—not at all…" "You're pretty twitchy…" "You're a hell of a lot twitchier than I am!!" Sasori shouted, then clapped his hands over his mouth. Deidara raised an eyebrow. "Should I go get a medical ninja?" "NO!" Deidara went into a sort of submissive position, and then asked, "Well then, what's wrong?" Sasori couldn't believe he had been trapped like this. He was convinced that Deidara did not have the skills to talk him in circles…at the same time he was rather distressed. "I can't tell you…it would compromise our working relationship…" He had no choice but to look away from the boy he was falling for. "Danna…will you please look at me, un?" "I can't," Sasori whispered. "You wouldn't understand…" "I understand more than you think, yeah," Deidara said softly. "Just…please, I wanna help…" Sasori could feel the mental stress building up. He didn't know how much longer he could handle this. He wanted to tell him so badly, but he couldn't. He just couldn't do it because he was afraid of rejection…and if Deidara said no, that might even end their miserable friendship. Sasori didn't want to risk it. "Deidara…" Sasori looked back at him, trying to avoid his gaze but finding it nearly impossible to do so. There was something captivating about those cold, blue eyes…and Sasori couldn't put his finger on it for the life of him. Something… "I just…I can't tell you…it's a personal issue…" "I've got a lot of those, un," Deidara told him. "Are you absolutely sure it's something I can't help you fix?" Sasori shook his head, feeling so stupid. "Well…okay, un…just know that if you need to talk about it, don't hesitate to wake me up, okay, un?" Sasori nodded, trying his hardest not to blurt out the thoughts he was trying to suppress. He watched Deidara climb under the covers, wishing that he was under there with him. "Goodnight, Danna," Deidara murmured, letting his hair down (filling Sasori's head with even more dirty thoughts) and burying himself beneath the blankets. "Goodnight," Sasori sighed, feeling the most horrible suffocating feeling in his heart…but it felt so good. This must have been it…what his grandmother had talked about all those years…
"Sasori, someday, you're going to fall in love with a girl," Chiyo said. "And when you do, it will be the most nerve-wracking time of your life. There are going to be a lot of ups and downs…but you will know—trust me—when you have truly fallen in love, because she will haunt your every thought day and night and drive you insane until you can finally admit to her how you're feeling." "Grandmother," Sasori said. "We've been through this a hundred times. I've got no time for love. I have a future to look forward to that just doesn't involve another person, or children, or any of that…"
