*Sorry it's been so long. First writers block, then my hard drive crashed! I'm slowly recovering from both I've skipped ahead for obvious reason.*
The lights were all off when he returned home that night. Granted, that wasn't a huge surprise, but he had a feeling his night had just begun the moment he stepped into the house. It was unusually quiet, which worried him more than anything else. Placing his bags down by the door, he continued through the hallways and in various rooms, searching for his seemingly lost guest.
They had played this game numerous times over the past year, albeit it was normally during happier times. He was about to give up and call out her name when he saw the small light glimmer from what he could only assume was a flashlight. Stepping carefully down the stairs, he reached the end of his search. Crawling underneath the newly finished wood, he laid down beside her.
No words were spoken between them for what seemed like hours. Finally, he heard her sigh.
"It should have been you who told me, Gibbs."
"I know."
"She was alone?"
"Mike was there."
"I guess that's better then. Are you ok?"
"I will be."
"I'm sorry. I know that you and her were…close."
"We were. But that was a lifetime ago."
"Still…"
"Not tonight, please?"
"Of course."
Another few moments of silence followed. She was the one who moved first, reaching over the narrow gap between them and clasped their hands together. She felt the tears fall from her eyes, wishing she could stop them. She wanted…no, needed to be strong for him now. The thought that he may be grieving more than what he lead on was certain, but she wouldn't push.
"It's ok, Abs."
She turned into him at these words, pressing her body along the length of his. She smiled in spite of herself when he reached his arm around her, pulling her in closer. She felt her tears finally subside when he kissed the top of her head.
"I don't mean to…it's just that there's been so much death in such a short amount of time. I know, it's part of life, but, still—"
"Still what?"
"I can't help feeling guilty."
"About what?"
"How happy I am. With you. Which scares me more than anything. I can't lose you, Gibbs."
Her body tensed as she lifted herself up onto her elbow. Glancing down at him, even through the dark, he could see the fear behind her eyes.
"Promise me."
"Abs---"
"No, I mean it, Gibbs. Promise me. I couldn't…I'm not like you. I don't know how you kept sane after…all this time."
"I had some help."
"I'm being serious here, Gibbs. I don't think I could survive it if you left me again."
"Again?"
"Well, I mean that time you retired and---"
"Abby, look at me. I would love nothing more than to be able to promise you what you want to hear. But I can't. No one can."
"…"
He watched as she relented, acknowledging that he was right. Not that either of them liked it, or wanted to accept it.
"Promise me this then. Promise me you don't want to leave me, and that you will fight like hell if something happens. Promise me that."
He knew there were moments in a relationship that would determine future outcomes. He, more than most, knew what happened if he missed those moments. In the past, he would have kept silent. He would have avoided promising anything because he never knew what tomorrow would bring. In truth, he partly had had a death wish. But staring into her eyes, feeling her breath on his cheek, her hand gripping his shirt right above his heart…he did the only thing he could.
"I promise."
He was, in turn, given a genuine smile, which was followed by the softest kiss either of them had experienced.
"Thank you. And Gibbs?"
"Yeah, Abs?"
"I promise too."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
They woke the morning of the funeral wrapped in blankets, lying on a cement floor. Abby stretched, forgetting how uncomfortable sleeping under the boat can be for her back. Upon opening her eyes, she found her partner already awake staring at the ceiling. She frowned, worried about the day's events. She had cared very deeply for their late boss; and she knew Gibbs had once loved the woman who was now gone.
She worried, not for their relationship, but of how the circumstances surrounding Jenny's death would effect their family. Though she trusted Ziva to have comforted Tony the previous evening, she knew today would be rough for them both. Blinking away the near-tears, she wrapped her arms around her lover's body, holding him for a moment more before reluctantly leaving their sanctuary.
"We should---"
"I know. Just…one more minute."
An hour later, he was zipping her dress up while she fastened her collar around her neck. Turning towards him, she smiled somewhat wistfully, and silently took his hand as they made their way out of the car. Arriving at the Naval Yard was usually a production on its own; since they were both continuing to keep their relationship private. This morning; however, neither of them even thought to care. He opened her door and took his hand again while they walked inside the building.
"Jethro. Abigail. I would say 'good morning', yet I am afraid the occasion contradicts that greeting."
"Oh, Ducky!"
Gibbs let her slip from his grasp, taking the older man into her embrace. Briefly he found a smile gracing his stoic face; he usually couldn't help smiling when he saw the two of them hugging. Sobering up, he turned, trying to meet his lead Agent's eyes. He was met with the top of Tony's head since he was staring intently at the floor.
"DiNozzo!"
"…"
"Tony! Hey!"
Gibbs stepped closer to the younger man, feeling the guilt and grief rolling off of his as he did. The rest of team watched as Gibbs placed a hand on the other man's shoulder. When he still did not receive a response, everyone was stunned to see Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs pull Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo into a hug. After a few moments, Abby pulled Ducky over with her and joined in on the hug. McGee, Palmer and Ziva followed, ending in a large group/family embrace.
No one spoke as they each released the other and walked towards their respective agency vehicles. Gibbs and Abby rode in the first car; Ziva, Tony, and McGee followed in the second; while Ducky and Palmer rode in the last. Each passenger was filled with his/her own emotions and thoughts to worry about what the afternoon would bring. Later, they will think back and realize they should have known better.
