Part 10 - i know its been a while. i'm so sorry... life is crazy but i'm hoping to pick this back up. Merry christmas guys

"Hun…" Catherine's voice was caring, concerned but firm – she wasn't going to let Sara act like everything was okay this time. She knew things with the brunette were far from okay –even though the younger woman tried to hide it for there benefit. Catherine knew Sara was trying to put up with the hell that Nancy was dishing out for the benefit of the kids and the Christmas they'd both promised them, but the blond wasn't standing back anymore letting Sara deal with this. "…what's wrong?" She was stood against the door frame of the bedroom where Sara was sat on the edge of the bed doing her boots up. She'd already changed into a pair of jeans and a new white vest top.

"Nothing…" She explained softly, "I'm fine". The anger that Catherine had seen out by the car had seemed to have faded. Sara was busying herself on the laces – she didn't want to look up because she knew that by looking into her eyes the other woman would be able to see just how far from okay she was. It wasn't fully down to the way Nancy had treated her, hell she was used to it – but that mixed with the nightmares had all been too much.

Catherine felt her chest tighten, she didn't want this again, she couldn't deal with this again – after the incident in the bank for a long while Sara had closed up – become the old Sara from the early days where she'd first joined the LVPD as a CSI. She would refuse to talk about things that were tearing away at her. Stepping forward Catherine closed the door to the bedroom the two shared not wanting the kids to see or hear this, not wanting anyone to for that matter. "You really don't look okay…"

Sara looked up from her boots, and then placed her elbows on her knees and head in her hands. She let out a sigh, "I'm not doing this Cath…" She explained.

"So you just going to grab your jacket and walk out of here…" There was a hint of anger but Catherine didn't know who it was directed at, herself, her family or Sara – this situation or the situation from the bank.

Sara just took a deep breath and stood up – "Would you rather I stayed here, lost it in front of your sister so she can just add to the list." He voice was calm and steady, "I just need to clear my head Cath… I promise I'll be fine"

"No Sara…you're not going to be okay. You're just going to walk around till you've pushed all your emotions down so you don't have to fucking deal…" Catherine wasn't shouting but she was desperate for Sara to open up to her. She knew that this wouldn't help – she took a slow calming breath, turned her back on the brunette and pushed a hand through her hair.

Sara knew that Catherine deserved an explanation, but she just didn't know how to explain. "I'm sorry about…out by the car…"

"Sorry…don't be sorry…just tell me what the hell is doing this to you" Catherine explained as she turned back, walking over she took the seat on the bed next to her girlfriend. "What's going on?"

"I'm fine… honest…earlier I just let your sister get to me over nothing…I think I'm just…" Sara shook her head, then turned for the first time making eye contact with Catherine, "I don't know… Christmas makes me a little crazy. I haven't slept… honest…"

Catherine knew that Sara wasn't fine, but she also knew that getting into a fight with the younger woman wouldn't help either – she continued to keep eye contact with the other woman, all she could see was how much Sara didn't want to go into all this so she just nodded her head, "I'm here when your ready…" she offered quietly.

Sara nodded, "I know…" she offered softly. "…I just need a breather before the big Christmas eve dinner is all… I wont be long…" she lent over placing a soft kiss on Catherine's lips, when she pulled back she added, "check in on Linds for me…she saw the end of me and nancy bickering..."

Catherine hated the fact that this was all so hard, she just wanted them all to get along, but in all honesty she couldn't see that happening at all. She just nodded her head – Sara nodded hers in response as she stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait…" Catherine stood up, she managed to catch the brunettes hand and turning her back around – she pulled her lover closer so their bodies were pressed closely together – moving forward she kissed Sara – a passionate kiss. When they pulled back Catherine locked eyes, "Promise me your okay…"

Sara just nodded her head, "I'll be fine…" she said moving her hand to Catherine's waist.

"I love you" was all she offered hoping it told Sara all she needed to know.

"I love you too…"

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Nancy was nearly finished cooking the meal in the kitchen, a traditional family meal – she seemed happy enough with the outcome. "Need a hand in here?"

She turned around to see Catherine stood near the kitchen table. "Hey sis… all's sorted" She smitled happily.

Catherine just nodded, "Great… you have time for a chat then"

"This about earlier… with Sara?" she asked knowingly.

"should it be?" Catherine still was unsure exactly what happened between her girlfriend and her sister earlier – even after talking with her daughter she hadn't gotten to the bottom of it. Nancy didn't respond – she just lent against the counter and folded her arms – "Look … I don't think I'm ever going to be able to stop you from having a pop at Sara but what I will stop you doing is letting me kids see it. I swear to god Nancy the only reason I'm still her is because Sara wont leave…we promised the kids this great Christmas and frankly all my daughters seen is you and Sara fighting it out…"

"I'm sorry Cath…" For the first time she sounded genuine, "honest to god I don't know why I turn into crazy bitch… I think I'm trying to pull protective big sis and I just become…an evil bitch"

"I don't need protecting… I'm a big girl…" Catherine spat, "Just lets get through Christmas…"

Nancy nodded her head. She knew she needed to stop but she didn't know what happened… when she saw Sara her first instinct was to go on the attack – she wished it wasn't the case. "Where are the kids now?" She asked.

"With mom… I'm going to head in there…" Catherine explained, she began to leave but just as she got to the door she stopped, "Shout if you need a hand…"