Recommended listening: Celtic Dream by Enigma

My Angel

Chapter Ten

"Ne, Hisoka?"

It was late now, very late as the crescent moon shone its thin silver ray upon the dark green earth littered with brown and black. Few blue clouds with white linings shielded the stars from human eye view. The said person turned his head as he heard his name. He was currently perched on the windowsill, one leg upright against his chest while the other dangled off, swaying slightly in the same time as the crickets' chirp to the night.

"Is there something you need, Tsuzuki?" he asked with a gentle tone, nothing like the one he used hours before when up against that Muraki man. His emerald eyes were even soft as the breeze played with his sandy hair.

The one he mentioned had just come out of the shower, wearing a button up white dress shirt and ordinary black pants, his hair dripping with a few drops of water. His amethyst gazed on to the emerald as the chocolate bangs swam in and out of the line of vision. A small smile pulled itself back on Tsuzuki's face as he glanced out the window to the night sky.

"Will you tell me about Heaven, Hisoka?"

Hisoka blinked. He hadn't really been expecting such a question, having never been asked it before, and it took him a moment to think of the reasons in which Tsuzuki would ask that. The man was going to reach the sacred place one day. He should be patient when it came to his death. It was true you didn't want to die too soon, fear of loosing many things you could not experience in the next life that could only be experienced while alive. All the same…

"Well… all right," Hisoka said. "As best as I can, anyway."

Tsuzuki walked until he was standing on the other end of the windowsill, facing Hisoka directly, giving him full attention. Hisoka smiled a bit and said, "You might want to sit down. Standing up is going to cramp after a bit."

Tsuzuki blinked before he settled himself on the other end of the windowsill, sitting completely across from Hisoka and leaned against the thin beam inside the window space. His amethyst eyes turned on Hisoka as the teen glanced outside again, the silver rays of the moon playing in the swirling depths of his eyes and the gentle breeze of the ending winter playing with his bangs as they danced in front of those alluring orbs. Even his face seemed to glow in the moonlight as his wings pulsed again.

"Heaven is… no words can probably describe the Heaven I have seen," Hisoka began, mulling over his words as he went. "It's beyond the word beautiful. It's beyond the impossible and yet, it's still there, always to greet me when I return to it."

"When do you have to return to it?" Tsuzuki asked, taking the chance to do so as Hisoka paused.

A small smile brought Hisoka's lips up. "Mm… not for a while."

"Oh… then continue."

"All right. When you are up there, even if you're stressed out from being down here on earth or on a mission, the first site astounds you and soothes out all of your feelings. It just takes your breath away, making you feel tranquil for an endless time."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, trying to imagine the feeling. Then, he asked quietly, "What does it look like?"

Casting Tsuzuki a smile that the elder man could not see, Hisoka continued as he glanced once more out at the night sky.

"Beyond words. The sun is always shining, even when you must sleep, but it does not disturb you. The clouds are as soft as feathers plucked from angel's wings, the trees there are always healthy with energy that calls out to the birds that never age, to the foxes that never slow, to everything that has immortality in existence. The springs are of liquid gold and the cloth is softer than velvet or silk. The points of my arrows are pure silver carved by hand with rock and crystal and the wood for the arrow's body is of the same bark as the trees, yet the trees there do not mind. They give themselves unto us for all of our needs. The palace of God is as golden and beautiful as the haven surrounding it. Its walls are of the highest defense and the inside of it is as if you were stepping through an endless palace within a palace. Go through one way, you end in another and vice versa."

Hisoka then turned to face Tsuzuki, who had his eyes closed as his mind was racing with images to help him see what it was like. A warm feeling began to settle inside of Hisoka even as he felt the cold wind on his pale skin. The cold just wasn't in the wind anymore to him. It had dissipated as soon as it came near him. He took in a deep breath and his wings pulsed with the notion. A frown replaced the smile on Hisoka's face after a moment and he said softly, "You do not believe you'll reach that place, do you?"

Eyelids slid back, revealing the saddened amethyst. "No… I don't."

"Why?"

Tsuzuki did not respond. He didn't know how to. He looked at sadly at the angel before him before he sighed and turned his eyes to the outside. "I don't know…"

"You do know," Hisoka confirmed, but not in a demanding voice, more so in a softer voice that could tell him he could back out if he asked to.

"I know… I just can't really put it into words," Tsuzuki admitted. "Like you can."

A faint tint of color unseen by moonlit eyes spread itself across Hisoka's face at the praise and he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head, both disagreeing with Tsuzuki and trying to get rid of the blush. "There are limits to an angel's vocabulary, Tsuzuki."

"I didn't think there were," Tsuzuki said, a little surprised.

Hisoka smiled a bit and looked up, green eyes swimming with content and a little amusement. "There are. It's more so that speaking without voice fillers, so practically anyone could do it. It's not about using big fancy words or fewer contractions, but more about how you use your words to influence what you're saying. Angels do not admit this. It scares them."

"Why are they scared of that?" Tsuzuki asked. "It's not anything to get worked up about."

"Mm, I agree with you," Hisoka sighed. "Just shows no angel is perfect."

"I always thought they were," Tsuzuki admitted.

"No angel is perfect," Hisoka repeated, shaking his head slightly, opening his gleaming green eyes. "Everyone thinks angels and all heavenly beings are beyond perfection by God's hand, but that's not true. Nothing is perfect. That's a useless presumption."

"Oh… sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Hisoka countered calmly, his eyes sliding shut again as his head leaned against the windowsill frame, his graceful neck exposed to the moonlight as it bounced off the creamy skin, reflecting against the side of his face, casting part of it within shadow. Tsuzuki's breath caught itself in his throat and he had to take a silent deep breath to get his irregular breathing normal again.

"Is there an angel for everything?" Tsuzuki asked after a few minutes.

Hisoka looked at him and for a moment, Tsuzuki saw the foreign longing look, as if he had something to tell him, but it was soon gone as the boy nodded.

"There is," he said gently. "For every art, element, power… there's one for everything and still more to give."

"You're archery, right?" Tsuzuki asked. "Isn't Artemis supposed to be the archer?"

Hisoka laughed. He actually laughed. It was quite the sight for Tsuzuki. The white wings pulsed quickly and it seemed as though Hisoka's face lit up with an innocent joy that sparked a small fire inside of him, the green eyes glittering like jewels and the hair falling around those jewels, making them alluring. The angel calmed down after a minute with a smile on his face Tsuzuki wished to stay up there forever. "Are you talking about that Greek Mythology crap?" (1)

"Umm…" Tsuzuki wasn't sure how to answer as he flushed slightly. That was what he had thought of. He had grown up with his sister Ruka telling him of Japanese and Greek religions.

"Sorry about that," Hisoka said, putting a hand to his chest. "It's probably only natural people think that, but trust me; it's more complicated than that."

"Can you tell me?" Tsuzuki asked.

Hisoka nodded. "Yeah, I can. As I said before, there are angels or winged protectors of every element, art, and power. The elements, such as fire and water, arts such as archery or swordsmanship, as well as pictorial arts are the first few. And of course, powers such as empathy, telepathy, sensitivity, and psychological physism, or to be more specific, psychic ability. There are also classes of angels in order to—"

Wait, hold on," Tsuzuki interrupted. "Classes? Doesn't everyone have the same stature in Heaven?"

Hisoka sighed and shook his head. "Not everything you hear is true, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki blinked. Hisoka looked up at him and for a second moment in time, a flicker of sadness crossed them along with that same longing from before but the eyes hid themselves behind the eyelids again.

"Everyone has the same value in Heaven, but not the same stature, or position how you think of it. In God's eyes, we are all the same with our belief, but we sometimes have better abilities than others do. Before I died, I practiced archery, being the 17th head of the family name. I was so good at it; the previous angel of archery gave her position unto me when I was… when I died. I have been the guardian of archery for a few years now. A friend of mine in Heaven, Diego, is the angel guardian of life. He does more work than I do, believe me."

"Angel of life? Does he go around and save the dead?" Tsuzuki asked for confirmation.

Hisoka pondered about it for a moment, and then began hesitantly, "Not… exactly…"

Tsuzuki blinked at him again. The green turned to his amethyst before the owner of such eyes blinked back. The moon was right above them, having moved silently through its proud black sky whilst they had talked. A silence was now between them as the green stared into amethyst and the amethyst stared into the green. Hisoka broke the contact, flushing slightly, before beginning to explain.

"Diego, angel of life, goes around with his partner Alexandra, angel of death, whom you already know of, to check every soul, seeing if it is their time to go or live longer. If that person's life is time to become a different life, Alexandra will take that life in the most peaceful way possible. If that person's life is still strong, but ill, Diego will give the soul more time to enjoy the life they have not seen before until that point by taking away some of the more severe parts of that person's condition." Hisoka sighed. "I saw both of them when I died."

Tsuzuki stared. "You did?"

Hisoka nodded, closing his eyes as he laid his head on his leg, looking back up at the night. "I did. Neither of them could do anything within their power to help me. I was one of the rarer cases."

"Rarer cases?" Tsuzuki asked hesitantly, afraid of the explanation he was bound to get.

Another nod and although Tsuzuki could not see it, a droplet fell from Hisoka's eye, disappearing like dust almost immediately in the face of the night. "A case where Diego could not grant me more life, as it would be more torment unto me, and where Alexandra could not take me in peace, but rather quickly with the pain. Neither of them could stop what happened… nor help me even as I was dying in the hospital."

The boy felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up, not noticing the second tear rolling down his cheek. A hand came up to wipe it away and soon, the angel felt himself embraced by his client. Relaxing almost immediately into the welcoming touch, the boy laid his head on that broad chest and closed his eyes, ignoring another sad tear that was traveling its lonely way down his pale cheek. He did not mind being held in a hold like this by his client, but rather, he enjoyed the feeling that someone else understood how he felt.

After a moment, Hisoka reluctantly broke the contact, avoiding the purple gaze and took a deep breath. "But the fact that I was given such a position in Heaven, I knew it was a lot better than being in the hospital, so I took it. Alexandra and Diego still feel bad for me and they know I can sense it. No matter how many times I tell them it's not their faults, they keep thinking they could have done something. They couldn't, so the delusion remains firmly in their minds as they try and think of ways they could have helped me. But even if they did think of something now, they can't go back in time and change anything. The angel of time is very strict."

"There's an angel of time, too?" Tsuzuki asked.

Hisoka nodded. "As I said before, there's an angel or guardian for everything, including time. And of course, there's one for every planet, star, nova… you get it now, right?"

"Sort of…"

"Do you want me to explain a few of them? Because I already can feel you don't understand half of what I'm telling you."

Tsuzuki flushed and gave the angel a nervous smile. "Well, if you don't mind…"

Hisoka shook his head. "No, I don't mind."

"Well, you can always tell me tomorrow, you know," Tsuzuki said. "It's starting to get late now."

"Hint the keyword 'starting'," Hisoka retorted with a small smile. "I don't mind, really."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"I am." Hisoka leaned back against the window frame again, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He seemed tired, but he refused to use that as an excuse to end his informational conversation with his client.

"There's an angel for each of the seven main elements: earth, water, fire, wind, light, darkness, and magic. Each is harmonized and in balance with one another in a circle that keeps them alive. Fire is extinguished by water; earth soaks up the water, wind blows the earth, light blocks the wind, the darkness restores energy, magic fuels to the darkness, so on, and so forth. They keep balance in order of the universe under the hand of God."

"No offense, Hisoka, but can you please not mention God?" Tsuzuki requested.

The angel threw him both a strange and amused look before shrugging, eyebrows slightly raised. "If you don't want me to."

"Thanks," Tsuzuki said, grateful the angel understood so well, just like that. It seemed ironic that he would follow instructions of his client when it was really him that needed to be telling Tsuzuki what to do.

"Well, as I said, they are in balance together, even if they do not always get along and they control what occurs around them. Other angels are also coordinated with each other. The moons, the planets, the stars, and everything in relation to those are together. The Angel of Time, Ancyra; the Angel of Fate Nacelles; and the Angel of Destiny, Sana'a; they help keep the main elements in balance and decide peoples' fate in both Heaven, Earth, and on rarer occasions, Hell. They're paired with Diego and Alexandra every so often and provide sources of information to get the job done." (2)

"Angels don't rest, do they?" Tsuzuki asked, smiling a bit.

Hisoka smiled a bit, too. "We do, just not often. We can go a little more than a week with no rest, if it is a normal job, but my job here, protecting you; I have to rest more often than not. So try not to be surprised if you come home and I'm napping."

Tsuzuki chuckled. "I'll try."

"You better," Hisoka replied before he yawned, his fatigue beginning to show. "I think that's enough for tonight."

Tsuzuki nodded. "It's late."

"No shit, Sherlock," Hisoka said bluntly, as he slid off the windowsill.

Tsuzuki stopped, stunned. "Did you just curse?"

Hisoka glanced up at the purple eyes. "Does it matter?"

"But don't angels have restrictions against cur—"

"Baka. Of course we do. Just up there, only." Hisoka pointed up to the night sky, as if he were pointing out the obvious, in which case it would be Heaven.

"So you can curse however much you want when you're not in Heaven?" Tsuzuki asked for confirmation.

Hisoka shrugged. "As far as I know. I just never swore a lot in my life, so it is no surprise I don't swear much in my afterlife, right? Does that make sense?"

Tsuzuki shrugged. "I guess so."

"All angels have flaws," Hisoka stated, glancing once more at the silvery moon. "None are perfect, nor will they ever be. It's a universal flaw that couldn't be undone by neither man nor God. It's… different in many cases and it's confusing, but understandable."

"Sou ka," Tsuzuki murmured, following Hisoka's gaze to the moon, not noticing how close he was to the angel, how he was mere inches from his guardian, mere inches that could be closed if only one was bold enough to initiate it. Yet, neither of them moved as they simply looked up, their eyes far apart from one another, but they were transfixed on the same thing.

Hisoka broke his sight from the sky and gazed instead on his client, his eyes swimming over the mortal figure, taking in every curve and tone, every movement even if just the slightest. He got a feeling within him that made him shiver, a feeling that made him somewhat... whole, whenever he was around Tsuzuki. He couldn't describe it, except as... it was just like the feeling he had felt when he has probed Tsuzuki's mind the day he had tried to leave, back before Tsuzuki knew he was an angel.

Unbeknownst to Hisoka, Tsuzuki was feeling the same way. His eyes traveled from the sky to rest on his guardian, meeting his emerald gaze. The intensity of the gaze seemed to burn a hole straight through him, but if it were to burn him into oblivion, then he would welcome it, as the burning seemed soft and gentle, not harsh and deadly as one would expect the flame to be.

Perhaps it was the natural compulsion and want to feel loved or maybe it was the fact that no one was around to protest, nor stop the inches from being closed… But neither of the two noticed that they were slowly inching towards each other, eyes, one pair green and the other pair purple, slowly hiding themselves behind descending eyelids, eyelashes fluttering in a dance as if they were butterfly wings, the said insect already beginning to flap them and take off to soar into the deep sky.

The butterfly spread its wings and flew.

The silver light of the moon and the rustling wind were the only ones to bear witness to the flight of the butterfly, helping its long journey through the clouded sky, caressing each wing and every part of the insect's being. This only went on for a moment before the butterfly began to fall out of its flight, suddenly brought down by an abrupt change and it hit the ground as reality smacked it in the face.

"That shouldn't have happened," Hisoka murmured as he pulled away abruptly, putting his head down, away from his client as his cheeks burned with shame. Tsuzuki blinked a few times before Hisoka's words finally hit him and he too looked away from the angel, who hopped off the windowsill and walked to the door. Hisoka didn't look back as he paused. "I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened. Goodnight, Tsuzuki. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without waiting for the response, he walked down and pulled the door with him. When the door closed behind him, Hisoka slid to the floor, leaning against the wall, bringing his legs up to his chest, clutching his head in his hands, tangling his fingers into his hair, breathing hard. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt as if he could not breathe. His hands fell down on top of his legs, one of them slowly rising up to touch the dusty pink lips, the one that had just been pre-occupied with another's…

'What was that? I felt as if…' Tsuzuki's smiling face to mind, then a picture of him in the bar trying to drown his sorrows, then the way he looked when Hisoka had been attacked, and finally when Hisoka had told his past to Tsuzuki. 'As if he were my twin… his emotions mirrored my own… but how is that possible? Please God, forgive me…'

Closing his eyes and leaning back slowly against the wall, Hisoka picked himself up and began to slowly back his way towards the bathroom. He needed a shower. A cold one.


(1) All right, people, I have NOTHING against Greek mythology. In fact, I quite enjoy it. I just decided to use it in this story to help better understand the Heaven that I think exists. At least, the heaven I hope which will be close. Crap, I'm sounding religious again… dammit: zips mouth shut:

(2) Ok, I made this up completely. Those characters names belong to ME! I will be using them in my published books later, so NO ONE can use them without my permission first. Ask and maybe I'll let you.