Recommended listening: Nearer My God to Thee from Titanic
My Angel
Chapter 12
Amethyst gazed into the emerald as both owners of the eyes panted, their bodies covered in a light sheet of sweat and their breathing uneven. Tentatively, Tsuzuki reached out a hand and stroked Hisoka's cheek. "Daijoubu ka?"
Hisoka nodded a little, relaxing against the bed. God, he had never felt so good... tired, but good. He closed his eyes again, relaxing as Tsuzuki lay down next to him. Silence entered the room and Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around Hisoka from behind, putting his face into the mop of ashen blonde hair. That's when it happened.
The snow outside forgot to fall, but the wind picked itself up, stronger than anything humanely possible. Hisoka's breath hitched at the sudden change in time and power and his eyelids shot back, revealing his wide, fearful eyes as looked to Tsuzuki, who looked back with just as much shock, but also confusion as to why the angel was suddenly shaking against him.
A light shone above them and suddenly, the two males were separated, Tsuzuki thrown back against the bed and Hisoka thrown away from it in the middle of the room. The sheet came up to cover up Hisoka from the chest down and the blanket came back to cover up Tsuzuki as well. The light shone brighter and filled the room, chasing away every shadow, as if purifying everything that had transpired in the last few hours.
"Kurosaki Hisoka!"
The said boy on the floor began to shake as realization smacked him hard in the face. Tsuzuki looked around to try to find where the voice had come from. Then it knocked into him. The voice was from the light. As to where the light was coming from, it was most likely anyone's guess, but Tsuzuki and Hisoka both knew: It was coming straight from Heaven.
"Kurosaki Hisoka, you have committed a vile act in the eyes of Heaven," the voice boomed, rumbling in both males' chests and hitting their hearts. "Now your passage back home shall not be permitted. Your wings shall be stripped of your dirty body and cast away to dust in the strong wind."
Hisoka shook violently as the words hit his core. He was scared. Really scared. Tsuzuki understood immediately what they had done wrong and knew he could not see his friend be punished for something he knew he couldn't stop. It was going to happen, at Tsuzuki's fault, and Hisoka should not be punished for this.
"God, don't punish Hisoka for this!" he shouted to the light, clambering off the bed and wrapping the sheet around his body from the waist down, stepping forward to stand next to his fallen partner. He could feel the startled and frightened green eyes looking at him in utter disbelief. Tsuzuki shook it away and tried to reason with the heavenly-being shielded in the light from Heaven.
"God, it isn't Hisoka's fault," he said quietly, but loud enough to hear. "It's mine. I practically forced him to do something that was from the depths of my feelings and—"
"Shut up, Tsuzuki!" Hisoka shouted, still holding himself as his wings unfurled behind him painfully, stretching up into the air, preparing to be taken by a strong inhuman hand. He cringed a bit. "It wasn't your fault, it was mine! I had the power to stop it and I didn't… I'm the one who has to be punished."
Tsuzuki shook his head again. "No, Hisoka, it's me. I'm not going to sit by and watch you take the force of punishment you don't deserve."
He turned back to the light, squinting slightly before his purple eyes adjusted. He let out a small, careful sigh and decided to continue. "I'm sorry, but I can't sit by and watch him get hurt like this. Does he really deserve this after all he's already been through? After what his past has been like?"
"You know what his past has been like," the god asked, more as a statement than a question, even though he knew it was true before Tsuzuki answered. The amethyst-eyed man nodded his head again while Hisoka looked down, murmuring apologies to the god above him in a different language, most likely Latin or Greek.
"It's ok, Hisoka," Tsuzuki reassured him again from where he was before he turned back to the light shielded God. "Please, Kami, punish me, not him. He doesn't deserve it."
"Silence!" The god commanded with a slightly angered tone. "Sodomy is against My law, therefore he will be punished."
"No!" Tsuzuki protested with a bit of anger in his tone as well. "I won't let you do this! He doesn't deserve it! I won't stand here while you accuse him of something that's not his fault! And since when is loving someone wrong!?"
"Sodomites such as you beget nothing," God stated, his anger more noticeable now and his voice level rising. "It matters not if he loves you or someone else. However, sodomy is against My rule and Kurosaki Hisoka has violated that sacred law by bedding with you!"
"Bullshit!" Tsuzuki yelled back.
Hisoka could only watch as he saw this man, the man who had taken him in, the man who had cared for him, the man who had made love to him, stood against the most powerful being in the universe… all for his sake. All for him, just to get him out of being punished. Hisoka felt numb, but he also felt warm, which was an odd combination. He was numb because he knew they were both going to be severely punished in one way or another, but the warm feeling was the realization that this man was trying to help him to the best of his ability, even to go as far to take upon the punishment himself, just to see him unharmed.
"He hasn't violated any law!" Tsuzuki continued to shout, his amethyst eyes glaring in anger, even though he knew mentally he should not be giving off such an emotion, much less displaying it. "You put people on the earth to love one another!"
Hisoka blinked as he watched his friend stand up straighter, defiance written on his face.
"You gave us these feelings!" Tsuzuki accused, knowing it was true. "If sodomy was against your law, why did you let us feel this way?!"
Hisoka watched as the words began to sink in. Why did they feel like this if God didn't want them to? Why were these feelings given to them, only to be accused of later as forbidden love and against all religious law?
"Tell us why!" Tsuzuki demanded to the light, his hands clenching into fists.
Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki, then back at the light, which did not respond to the demand. An uncomfortable silence settled in, threatening to consume them, choke them and hurl them into a sea of nothingness, drown them until their souls could no longer breathe and erase them from existence itself.
"Kurosaki Hisoka," the voice said, more quietly now.
Hisoka looked up in answer, his voice box long gone by now. He could sense the amethyst eyes of Tsuzuki on him, switching from him to the light, following every word and every gesture given.
"Were you happy when this happened?" God asked.
"Was I…?" Hisoka thought about it for a minute. He remembered the way he had been reassured with warm emotions and gentle caresses, how careful the elder had been with him to make sure he was all right, stopping when he did not want him to just to make sure he wanted to keep going. He had given him a choice to do it, not being demanding or forceful, but just there, waiting patiently.
Hisoka looked back up at God and nodded his head. "Yes, I was."
"Why?" asked the being, a little bit harshly.
Hisoka bit his lip, hesitating for a moment. Then, he let out a shaky breath and answered, "Because I was given a choice." He looked at Tsuzuki. "He gave me a choice to be loved or to back out and let the relationship unfold, or even alternatively, not to have a relationship at all. He let me choose for myself without thinking of what he wanted. We both had never really been loved in that way before… but even if it was against Your law, I wanted it. I wanted to know how it felt to be loved by someone, to be cared by someone. My heart felt like it needed it."
Tsuzuki sent a smile at Hisoka, his amethyst eyes softening in the golden light, the light also sending streaks of gold over his chestnut hair.
"I see," God then said. Hisoka caught his breath, ready for the punishment he knew he would endure. However, it never came. Instead, God continued.
"I will hold you, Kurosaki Hisoka, on a trial deciding what punishment you are to endure. You will leave here soon with me to ascend back to your home for the time being. After the trial has been complete and any punishment accepted, you may return to tell your client of the situation. Am I understood?"
Hisoka looked down and nodded. "Yes."
"You have ten minutes."
"Yes. Thank you."
The light faded off into nothing and Hisoka found he was able to breathe again. Tsuzuki walked over to him and knelt beside him, putting a comforting arm around his shoulders. Hisoka leaned against the older man, closing his eyes for a moment before they opened again, glimmering with a foreign strength Tsuzuki had never seen before in the boy's eyes.
"I'm sorry, Hisoka," Tsuzuki apologized. He hadn't meant for this to happen, any of this. Now the boy had to be punished for something that wasn't his fault.
Tsuzuki felt lips press themselves on his forehead and he looked up to meet the green eyes of the younger, the angel whose gaze locked itself with power he never knew of before. Moreover, instead of mourning, Hisoka was standing up as he attempted a small smile, reaching behind his neck, unclasping his silver necklace, the cross falling down the chain a few inches.
"There's nothing to be sorry for, Tsuzuki," the boy said calmly as he held out his necklace. "Here. I want you to have this."
He placed the cross into the amethyst-eyed man's hands, but Tsuzuki shook his head. "It's yours."
"Not anymore, it's not," Hisoka retorted. "I'm giving it to you, Tsuzuki."
Swirling amethyst brought itself up to meet the alluring emerald and for a moment, nothing happened. Time seemed to flow again in an instant as Hisoka sighed. "I'm giving it to you to trust itself under your protection while I'm on my leave. It will protect you while I am gone. Keep it with you at all times, Tsuzuki."
The elder nodded, understand as he gripped the necklace tightly in his hand, holding it close to his chest. Smiling slightly, Hisoka unfurled those strong fingers and took the necklace out, reaching up on his toes to place it around Tsuzuki's neck. He drew back a second later, marveling as the pendant hung itself over his chest, right over Tsuzuki's heart.
"Now you have the light of Heaven shielding your soul. No one can harm you now."
"Hisoka… thank you."
The angel nodded before standing up on his toes, wrapping his arms around the elder's shoulders, putting his face into that broad chest, listening to the heartbeat, hoping against hope it was not the last thing he would ever hear come from his client, spoken or unspoken.
A light began to shine again and Hisoka drew back, his form now covered in a white robe tied with his golden sash. Unfurling the two perfected wings, the boy began to rise up. Although he smiled, Tsuzuki could see he was full of sadness by what was now to be done. The angel rose in hand in a gesture of goodbye for now before both he—and the light—vanished.
Tsuzuki stared up at his plain ceiling for a long time before he found strength in his legs to move to the bathroom. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror, one of his hands coming up to finger the pendant, which glowed a soft golden color in the small light of the powder room. Smiling to himself, Tsuzuki turned the shower tap on and set it to warm before climbing behind the curtain.
He reached for his soap, but then caught the eye of the essence Hisoka used. He remembered Hisoka telling him it was okay to use what he did, because it was just like using the same soap that he originally had. Smiling to himself once more, Tsuzuki took the small bottle and began to wash himself down. He hoped Hisoka would get back as soon as possible.
A dull ache had already set itself into his chest, despite the warmth from the cross and he realized he missed the angel dearly. If only God was more merciful than he already was, then perhaps Tsuzuki would be happy at this point. And maybe… Hisoka would be as well.
