FIVE

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor commented with a shudder, "Well now, that was disquieting to say the least. You'd think it would be fun to be adored by an entire planet, but it's really not." His face showed exasperation and worry. He was glad to be getting out of here.

Feeno and Jack looked at each other, which was not lost on the Doctor.

"What?" the Time Lord asked.

"Er, Doctor," Jack began. "Have you considered that those folks might just be creepy, and not so much in love with you?"

"I concur, Doctor," Feeno said quietly, divesting himself of his cloak and hood. "I did not detect any amorous overtones in their behavior."

"Listen to him, Doc. He's got a degree in personology," Jack announced.

The Doctor looked at each of his companions in turn. Jack and Feeno looked certain, Martha less so. But then again, Martha's sensibilities were heightened as well – she too was probably seeing flirting where there was just plain eerieness.

"D'you think?" the Doctor asked. He jogged over to the door and peeked out the window. "They're still standing there. Maybe they were sad to see me go."

"Now that is disquieting," Jack said, joining the Doctor at the window. "They're still there. Why would people who were casing the TARDIS and not in love with you still be standing there watching it?"

The Doctor didn't hear the question. He asked Jack, "No, no, you're wrong. When I asked the lady if she could do me a favor, she said 'I was wondering the same thing of you, Doctor.'" He tried to imitate her tone, and placed his hand on his hip in a flirtatious fashion. This would have made Jack grin from ear to ear on any normal occasion, but today, he was trying to warn his unreceptive friend of danger.

"No, she said 'I was wondering the same thing of you. Doctor,'" Jack argued, imitating the woman in a cutting, scathing sort of way, spitting out the word Doctor in exactly the unmistakable, malicious fashion that Ahedruma had.

Martha was contemplative. "Doctor, I think he's right," she said. "That woman seemed much more, you know, malevolent than amorous. That's true of the lot of them."

"Oh, you just don't want to believe it," he said, teasing her.

"Doctor, listen to him. What did he just say? He asked why would these people be having a look at the TARDIS, and still be standing out there? They want something from us, and sorry to say... I don't think it's you," she said. "At least not in the way that everyone else round here seems to want you."

The Doctor looked at Martha and Jack with befuddlement. "They don't love me?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she said. "But I still do. That's something, right?"

He continued to stare, never changing his expression. Suddenly, he snapped out of it, and conceded, "Yes, yes, of course, Martha. That's everything." He gave her a dazzling smile, and she returned him a weak one.

"Why are they not afflicted with the same amorous inclinations as the rest of the humans?" asked Feeno. "Why are they immune?"

"You think being in love with me is an affliction, do you?" asked the Doctor defensively.

"Doctor, not now," Martha said, taking his hand. "Plenty of time for the insanity later."

"Maybe they weren't here when the transfer was made," Jack suggested. "I mean, I'm not in love with the Doctor only because I wasn't on the planet when Martha's personality was outsourced."

"They weren't here?" the Doctor asked, a bit incredulous. "You mean these three adult humans of the 14th century were not on planet Earth two weeks ago, or whenever we were taking Martha's attributes?" He looked at Jack expectantly, waiting for him to see the illogic of his argument. He didn't have to wait long.

"I guess that doesn't make much sense, does it?" Jack admitted.

"No," the Doctor said. "But it would make sense if they weren't actually from the 14th century. Perhaps they're travelers like us."

"Or perhaps they're not human," Feeno offered. "Their demeanor was anomalous for human personology. I've read about it."

"Oh, fantastic," Martha said, throwing up her hands. "I'll never get home to see my mum."

"Martha, it's a time machine. I can get you back before you left," the Doctor reminded her.

"Okay, so they're not human. The question remains, my friends," Jack said. "What are they still doing there?"

He looked through the window again, and what he saw caused him to step back. The Doctor pressed his nose to the window as well, and when he saw, the two men looked at each other worriedly.

"What?" Martha asked.

"They're gone," the Doctor said. "Quite suddenly, they're gone."

"That is worrying indeed," Feeno commented.

But what the travelers didn't know, was that the rubberneckers were not gone at all. But they found out quickly enough as the entire TARDIS began to rock in response to the three humanoid aliens outside, pushing against the machine.

The four of them were knocked off their feet. Martha screamed, but quickly grabbed onto the railing on the TARDIS' entrance ramp in order to regain her footing. Jack did likewise, and of course, so did the Doctor. Only Feeno was driven against the wall and unable to find an equilibrium.

The Doctor climbed his way to the TARDIS console. Jack was the nearest to him, so he cried out for the Captain's help. Jack found himself directly in front of the computer screen.

"Tell it Charing Cross!" the Doctor shouted.

"Why Charing Cross?" Jack asked, shouting back, but obeying.

"Anywhere but here!" the Doctor answered. "You just tell it where to go and I'll worry about the linear toggle!"

"What the hell is the linear toggle?"

With that, the Doctor flipped the blue lever, the linear toggle, and the TARDIS made its signature whoosing/grinding sound, and the rocking stopped. A few seconds later, they had arrived at a new destination, and everyone was able to stand upright again.

"The linear toggle," the Doctor said, "Is the device that allows the TARDIS to travel, but specifically not off the planet and not out of time. Meaning, if you want to travel only a few miles, you use the linear toggle." He smiled, satisfied.

"Well okay then," Jack said, straightening his jacket.

"You two all right?" the Doctor asked of Martha and Feeno.

"All right," Martha answered, picking herself up off the floor and finding herself tangled in the Doctor's oversized coat.

"I as well," Feeno said, approaching the console.

"Well, I suppose this means we'll have to hole up for the night," the Doctor said, heading for the door.

"Can't we just stay in here? I mean, do our superhero business out there, but sleep inside here?" Martha begged. "Please? There's a plague out there, Doctor."

"I don't think that is a very good idea, Martha," Feeno told her. "The TARDIS is hidden from the alien beings now, but if we keep coming back to it, it will only draw attention."

"He's right," the Doctor told her. "Sorry. Besides, the plague is waning, and with any luck, we'll be out of here in less than 24 hours anyway. And if we have to, we can just whisk you back to 2007 and get you some antibiotics. Don't worry – we'll all be fine."

"Oh, all right," she gave in.

"Come on," Jack said heartily opening the door. "We'll find an inn, have some ale, chat with the locals. It'll be a grand old time!"

"What is ale?" asked Feeno, putting his cloak back on.

"It's like Yobb, only not as tasty," Jack answered, throwing his arm around his friend and bedmate.

The four of them swaggered off into a different neighborhood of the same London, ready to take these aliens by storm.

Only the aliens were still attached to the TARDIS. Yes, the vessel was hidden between some buildings fallen into disrepair because of the plague. But Plexaphedros, Ahedruma and Maude were clinging to its sides like large spiders. Large laughing spiders.