Recommended listening: Star of the Sea by Mediaeval Baebes
My Angel
Chapter 17
"Yes."
The one word seemed to ring through the house, echoing in Tsuzuki's ears as he felt his eyes widen in somewhat unexpected surprise. He had suspected for the moment, merely suspected, but his kidding around had gotten him somewhere he hadn't ventured before and it roused even more questions within him. How did Tatsumi know Hisoka? Had they met before Hisoka died? Was Tatsumi an angel? Was he a devil? Was he in league with Muraki, the same man who had killed Hisoka? Was he good or was he evil? Was he a friend or an enemy? Was he—?
"Tsuzuki-san, I need you to listen closely."
The man's voice brought Tsuzuki back to his body for the second time that conversation and he nodded despite that Tatsumi couldn't see it and found his hand shaking even as he tried to keep the phone pressed steadily to his ear. "H-hai?" Even his voice was shaky...
"I'm going to explain everything, but not now and not over the phone. It's too risky even with circumstances as they are—"
"Wait, why not?" Tsuzuki interrupted, holding the phone tighter than before. "Why can't you just tell m—"
"I can't. Who knows what could be listening on this conversation, demon or angel."
"Why would they tap my phone?" Now Tsuzuki was confused. Tatsumi was acting strangely. Not that Tsuzuki himself wasn't acting strangely as well, considering the situation he was in, but still...
"You never know. It's just a precaution," came the now more formal reply, but it was still laced with concern. The seriousness of the secretary, however, overrode that emotion. "I'm going to come over and explain. Give me ten minutes."
"Wait, Tatsu—"
The other line was dead.
Tsuzuki, bewildered, set the phone back on its holder, looking at his shaking hand. Pascal, still on the counter, sensed his master's worry and whined a bit, trying to get his attention for a moment. Tsuzuki, engrossed in his thinking, first didn't hear the puppy asking for his affection. What did Tatsumi mean? Tapping phones? Angel and demons would tap his phone? Why his phone? What reason could they possibly have for—?
Oh.
Oh.
Tsuzuki finally looked down at Pascal, looking for a moment as if he'd forgotten the puppy was there. Giving the small animal an apologetic look, Tsuzuki scooped the dog into his hands and began to stroke his ears. "I'm sorry, Pascal. I got distracted. Forgive me, ne?" A lick to his fingers was the response and Tsuzuki managed a small smile. "Arigatou, Pascal-kun..."
True to his word, not ten minutes after the phone call had ended, a knocking came at Tsuzuki's door. Tsuzuki, having migrated to the living room with Pascal, looked up at the noise. In a flash, Pascal was out of his lap and yipping down to the hall. Tsuzuki follow the yapping dog to the door and picked up the animal before finally opening the door. Tatsumi stood there, wearing a long brown trench coat, frost nipping at the corners of his glasses thanks to the cold wind. He offered a small smile to the male in front of him and Tsuzuki could only nod in reply as move out of the way so Tatsumi could walk inside. Shutting the door, Tsuzuki offered to take Tatsumi's coat, but was declined. After a few minutes of warming up and settling to the living room, Tsuzuki finally asked the ultimate question laced with hesitation.
"Who are you?"
Tatsumi removed his glasses and wiped off the remaining frost and water with a handkerchief from his pocket and a small sigh. Then, replacing them on his face, the sapphire eyes set themselves on the man before them and regarded slowly, as if hesitating to answer. "I suppose with all that's been going on, you might have no choice but to believe me."
"Please, Tatsumi, just answer my question." Tsuzuki didn't want the man to dodge the question in any way. "Who are you?"
Another sigh, a closure of the eyes, and an adjustment of the glasses before they were removed entirely. They took off many years with them. "Somehow I knew it would come to this..."
Tatsumi opened his eyes and looked at Tsuzuki straight with such clarity that Tsuzuki could've sworn that he saw everything in those eyes, if only for a moment. "You can see?"
Tatsumi nodded. "The glasses are merely a cover up to make people think I'm losing my sight. In truth, my eyes are probably sharper than yours." Tsuzuki could only gape as Tatsumi went on. "Although with my powers, I don't need to see."
Tatsumi shifted his gaze to Pascal for a moment before he looked back at Tsuzuki. "Let me explain... My name is Seiichiro Tatsumi, but I am not the man you have known for the past few years. I am one of the higher angels of God. My Hebrew name is Betzalel, which means to be "in the shadow of God". I am God's shadow."
Tsuzuki blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. God's shadow? How did that work? Did he just stand behind God or something? Apparently, the confusion was etched across his face like a child's messy portrait because Tatsumi offered a weak smile and lifted his hand for a moment. In a flash, something dark and thin coiled around his hand and wrist, startling the hell out of Tsuzuki and one look from Pascal set the puppy yipping at the... the thing.
"Is that a—"
"Shadow? Yes." Tatsumi lowered his hand and the shadow slunk off to the corner of the room. "That is my power. I am the Angel of Shadows; God's shadow and everyone's shadow."
Tsuzuki could only blinked for another minute or two before his mind finally processed what he was being told. "O-okay let me get this straight. You're an angel, you control shadows... you're," Tsuzuki held up quote marks, "'God's Shadow', and what, you... you just happen to be here?" All of this was becoming a muddled mess for poor Tsuzuki. Why was Tatsumi here? What connection did he have with Hisoka?
Tatsumi shook his head. "Not entirely." He slipped his glasses into his shirt pocket so he would remember where they were later. "I was an angle for God and God alone for many, many years. I served as his undercover agent. My main mission was to watch you before Kurosaki-kun got here." Tsuzuki gaped again, but Tatsumi continued. "You also have powers, Tsuzuki, and we need to protect you while they lay dormant within you." Tatsumi pointed a finger to Tsuzuki's chest from across the small coffee table. "Your powers can surpass mine and Kurosaki's very easily. Should that power fall into the wrong hands... well, I'd prefer not to explain there if you can forgive me."
Tsuzuki stared for a few long minutes. Then he spoke and this time, his purple eyes looked as if they were fogging up and his hands clenched into small fists. "So all this time... were you only protecting me because I had powers? Were you only here because I—"
Tatsumi knew where this was going and held up his hand. "Stop right there, Tsuzuki. I don't want you putting words in my mouth. It may have started out that way, but I do consider you a dear friend."
Tsuzuki colored in embarrassment and nodded slowly, relaxing a bit in his chair. Tatsumi frowned at the look on the man's face before he leaned forward, elbows on the coffee table and hands folded together. "Tsuzuki, you wanted to know how I knew Kurosaki-kun, is that right?"
Tsuzuki barely nodded, now more focused than ever. "How do you know Hisoka?"
Tatsumi leaned back in his chair now, folding one leg over the other, sitting formally once more. It was almost a shift in personality, as the man before Tsuzuki now went from a man who had a hard time explaining his own self to a man who was all business. And yet, he wasn't. He was the same.
"This dates back for a few more years than I would care to admit, but it happened some twenty odd years ago," the angel began, keep his gaze locked on Tsuzuki. "Kurosaki was very young when he died. I was the one who had greeted him before taking him to see God." Seeing Tsuzuki's confused look, he quickly put in, "Every time a soul dies unexpectedly or in a special circumstance, an angel is sent to meet that soul and take them directly to God for their position. I happened to be the one who God wanted to send."
Tsuzuki let out a soft, "Oh," understanding now.
Tatsumi continued. "When I first met him, he was being led by Diego and Alexandra. I'm sure Kurosaki's already informed you of their positions?" Another nod. "All right, then. I met up with the three after completing an assignment earlier that day; they were all looking grave."
The sapphire eyes grew serious. "It was as if Diego had lost the will to give life and Alexandra the same with her role of bringing death. But between them, the expression Kurosaki wore on his face was just so broken. I had known that my assignment was to take his soul to God. I even got him to speak because I had to answer his questions. However... if there was a time I felt as if I wanted to die, then the first time I saw him would've been it..."
It was a sunny day, bright and cheerful, the skies filled with angels who flew on bright golden and silver wings, some on navy and others on green. It was a wonderful sight to all those who were worthy of seeing it and all those who were lucky enough to see it. The trees were bearing golden fruit that were as soft as the grains of wheat in the fields and the clouds were low, promising granted drizzles to all who wished them.
An angel with flowing brown hair, tied to the base of his neck in two ribbons, watched from under a large tree as angels flew past, merrily dancing with one another or playing a game. A smile graced the man's face as his sapphire eyes gleamed in the rays of light that filtered through the foliage. He wore a long black robe, tied with a purple sash around his middle and he wore silver sandals. His face, while serious, held gentleness to it and his eyes shone with happiness at all he could see.
"Betzalel!"
The man turned at the sound of his name being called from across the dirt road and his eyes fell upon two figures—no, there were three—three figures walking towards him. The one who had called his name he could recognize by voice. It was Diego, Angel of Life, and beside him, as always, stood Alexandra, the Angel of Death. In contrast to the wonderful day in Heaven, their faces were grim and gloomy, as if they'd just watched a series of car wrecks involving more than one hundred lives at a time. Between them – or rather, hidden behind the two – stood a lonely figure, no taller than five and half feet, a mop of wheat hair tinted ash, and when they came close enough, one could see the green eyes reflecting back at nothing. On the obviously malnourished body hung a long shirt, orange in color, and tight jeans that looked old. If he had been wearing tennis shoes and socks before, he wasn't now. What skin Tatsumi could see was deathly pale. But there was one thing that stuck out like a thousand needles.
It was the fact that the boy before him was empty.
Trying to cover up the apparently surprise circulating through him, Tatsumi turned to face Diego, who wore an expression of guilt while Alexandra wore her mask of turmoil. They both couldn't figure out what to do. Seeing this as an opening despite the silence, Tatsumi put out his hand to the boy. "My name is Betzalel. What's yours?"
The green eyes glanced at him for but a moment. They seemed to reflect something Tatsumi couldn't understand from just that one glance, at one indescribable look. Then those eyes looked away and not a word escaped the boy's lips. Diego stepped in, putting Tatsumi's hand down, seeing that the boy was refusing physical contact. "His name is Kurosaki Hisoka. He is one of the cases, Betzalel."
Tatsumi nodded and glanced at the boy – Hisoka – one last time before he nodded once more. "I will take it from here. Chayyim, Azrael, we shall take our leave now."
The two angels nodded in return and in their passing, Diego put his hand on Hisoka's shoulder for a moment before he walked away, Alexandra in tow. Tatsumi watched them go and then turned to face the young teenager. "If you'll follow me, Kurosaki-kun, I will take you to where you need to go."
There was no response, no reply to his words. It was as if they had gone one ear and out the other without so much as comprehension flickering in the jade eyes. After what felt like hours, Hisoka finally nodded and Tatsumi offered a small smile before beginning to walk, confident the teenager would follow. He did. Tatsumi made sure not to walk too far ahead of Hisoka, but the boy would slow down if Tatsumi did, as if mimicking his movements, trying to get it just right. Tatsumi grew a little concerned. Then, shocking, Hisoka spoke.
"Why did you call them that?"
Tatsumi raised an eyebrow as they walked. "Call them what?"
The green eyes met sapphire for the first true time and for a moment, it felt as if time stopped between the two. Then, it started up again and it clicked in Tatsumi's brain before Hisoka spoke again.
"Chayyim and Azrael... their names are Diego and Alexandra..."
Tatsumi looked to the sky. Now he understood. "I see... yes, that can be confusing. Those are their Hebrew names. Chayyim means "life" and Azrael means "death". Or at least, something akin to those terms. While my name may be Seiichiro Tatsumi on earth, I am known here as Betzalel, the Shadow of God. Here we refer to one another by our real names, the names God give us. You will find out yours within the hour."
Silence reigned between them for a moment. Then...
"So this is Heaven?"
Tatsumi felt as if he should stop; make the boy do a full 360 before asking that question again. The sapphire eyes reflected concern not readily felt yet. "Yes. What made you think otherwise?"
The green orbs glanced away. "Nothing." But there was more to it than that; Tatsumi could tell.
They arrived in front of large doors made of wood and steel that were already opening for them by the command of two angels – twins, actually – and Tatsumi began to walk again, making sure Hisoka was in tow. Gone was the simple childish innocence seen not a moment before. He had gone back into himself, keeping secrets that were going to be laid bare anyway. It didn't take long for them to walk down the long hallway and stop in front of another set of doors – smaller doors made of wood as well – and Tatsumi knocked twice. They swung open.
Before him and Hisoka was a dark room, completely bare of all things, and a single light from nowhere shone in the middle. Tatsumi walked in, but Hisoka stayed where he was for a moment longer than normal. Tatsumi glanced back. The boy was tense; he could see it in those eyes. Tatsumi gestured for the teenager to follow, which Hisoka eventually complied to, if not reluctantly.
The doors shut behind them.
The light in the bare room gave Tatsumi and Hisoka more than enough to see. Tatsumi moved off to a corner, giving Hisoka the space he needed. Hisoka flashed him a look, looking as if it had been done on pure instinct, but it vanished as soon as it had come and he turned his attention to around the room. "Where is this?"
Tatsumi glanced up at where the ceiling would be were they in a normal room. "This is the Case Chamber." The gaze flicked over to Hisoka and finally rested there. "You are one of the ones chosen by God for a position to serve Him. Given what happened to you three years ago—"
He stopped then. Hisoka's eyes had widened slightly, looking like he didn't believe a word that he had just heard. The expression said it all for Tatsumi. Hisoka couldn't hide his shock about the fact that he knew what had happened. And then in this chamber. And beyond the shock was fear. Fear at what could happen. Fear at something he didn't know.
Tatsumi shook his head. "We're not going to punish you, Kurosaki-kun. That's not what we're here for."
Hisoka's eyes narrowed a little. He didn't believe him. "Then what are you going to do with me?"
Sapphire eyes matched the green ones for but an instant. "Absolutely nothing."
"N-nani?"
For what felt like the millionth time, Tatsumi shook his head. "We're not going to do anything with you, Kurosaki. You're not here to be punished, hurt, or otherwise. You are here to talk to God."
That got an expected reaction. "What God? I don't see any—"
Tatsumi motioned around the room, as if lecturing, his voice taking on a different tone than earlier—a tone that explained wisdom. "God is everywhere in here. In front of you, to the side of you, behind you, above you, below you, everywhere."
Hisoka looked down at his feet for a moment and Tatsumi thought that the childish nature had returned. It was evident in the next question. "What am I supposed to do?"
Tatsumi regarded Hisoka for a bit before he let out a small breath, feeling as if he were getting somewhere. "Just talk to Him. Regarding anything about yourself, where you are." Tatsumi headed for the door. "You are lucky to be asking Him and allowed immediate answers. Most of us don't get that kind of opportunity."
The hard green gaze shot up. "Where are you going?"
"Just outside. I'd figure you need the privacy. You may come out when you are ready."
And Tatsumi left the room.
Tsuzuki could only stare, wide-eyed as the man he had thought he'd known for the past few years finish up his explanation. He couldn't find words to speak, nor find strength in his body to move and make gesture. He was speechless. He, Tsuzuki Asato, was speechless, unable to put words into his own mouth. He just couldn't.
Tatsumi sighed as his friend just stared at him, those wide purple eyes delving holes into him, as if trying to communicate something, but not quite getting to him. Tatsumi wiped his glasses to make his idle hands do something before he titled his head a little and began to speak again. "It was only until later that I found out Kurosaki-kun was an empath, so he could've just read my thoughts instead of asking me. In truth, he had tried that, but seeing as how he isn't the only empath in Heaven, well... my shields were already built."
"S-sou ka," the amethyst-eyed man murmured. He had finally gotten his mouth to work and that was all he said?
"I know this is hard, considering the situation, but I knew we would have to tell you sooner or later. I'm sorry for keeping this from you for so long." The sapphire eyes glanced away, finding the door to be more interesting.
Tsuzuki shook his head. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. Just confronting you like that was wrong, but I felt like I had to know."
"... Did Kurosaki ever tell you his real name?"
Tsuzuki looked up, shaking his head. "No."
"I suspected as much. His real name, if you want to know, is Ayelet. It's his Hebrew name, derived from the name for the morning star. It means "deer" or "gazelle". Thanks to Greek mythology, he can become attached to it because the deer was Artemis's symbol as an archer."
Ayelet. Tsuzuki found himself almost smiling at the word and his hand came up to clutch the cross pendant hanging around his neck. Touching it filled him with a warmth he had lost not two days before and he felt a little better. The strong, but feminine name really suited Hisoka.
"—unless it is God speaking to him."
Tsuzuki glanced up. "Huh?"
Tatsumi gave him slightly bemused look. "I said, he refuses to be called by that name unless it is God who is speaking to him. Only God may call him by that name in his eyes and the rest of us call him by his earthly name, Kurosaki, or for some, just Hisoka. I've never heard anyone call him by his name except himself."
Something in Tsuzuki's mind clicked and he could almost feel the wheels turning. "Wait a minute, so God only ever calls Hisoka by his Hebrew name?"
"As far as we know. God never calls me by my earthly name, neither for Diego, Alexandra, Kurosaki, or anyone else."
Amethyst eyes widened in shock. "Then that means..."
Sapphire eyes narrowed in bewilderment. "What?"
Tsuzuki locked his eyes with his friend's, remembering the voice that had spoken to him and Hisoka not two days before, the voice that had boomed out their sin. "If that's true, then this whole thing is a hoax."
"What is?"
"The trial."
"How so?"
Tsuzuki looked up. "The voice that spoke to Hisoka and I... that night, it said "Kurosaki Hisoka", not "Ayelet". The voice claimed to be God. So if what you're saying it true, then..."
Sapphire eyes widened in realization and both men came to the same conclusion. And two voices spoke the same thing:
"It was all a trap."
